Round 1: An airman was beating his meat in his dorm room  when his First Sergeant walked in for a surprise inspection. They locked eyes, went their separate ways, and then each posted it to Reddit.Round 2: West Point graduate and Offensive Lineman Brett Toth just signed a contract with the Philadelphia Eagles in a huge shift toward allowing service members to play pro sports Round 3: The military burned millions, probably even billions, of pounds of trash in Iraq and Afghanistan and it turns out that probably wasn't great, surprising nobody. Round 4: The new skipper of the aircraft carrier Harry S Truman, Capt Kavon Hakimzadeh, fled Iran when he was 11 and could return to the area with a big fucking boat.Round 5: President Trump wants to buy Greenland and all its shitty weather too...we have some suggestions instead of Greenland.