Fighting and emotional upset is just part of the program in a committed relationship over many years. But what separates the smart couple from people who really struggle is being able to repair well. In this episode, my wife Ellen Boeder covers why "the repair" is so critical in a strong partnership. It's essential as a parent, so why would it be any different with your partner. Listen in to get a few tips on how to do this fundamental skill and learn from Ellen and me as we share from our own marriage. SHOWNOTES What does a good relationship look and feel like? [7:00] Why feeling ‘safe’ is essential for a good relationship [8:00] Why ‘I’m sorry’ is a bad repair-strategy [18:00] What Ellen calls the ‘micro-repair’[20:00] How to really listen to your partner after conflict without getting triggered [23:00] What are some quick ways to reset the nervous system when words aren’t working? [30:00] Ellen’s advice on conflict and repair for couples [34:00]