Tips and topics include: Cloning your willy, crooked penises, Christ for Kegels, the oral sex "chin trick," and the oral sex "screw trick." Emily goes on to teach people how to function during sex. Stare lovingly into your partner's eyes without looking psychotic, have loud, ravenous sex whenever possible, and remember to breathe (yes, people forget). Emily also explains what to do if someone stops functioning during sex. People have a better chance of having a heart attack during sex than most other activities. At least they'll die happily on top of you.