You can’t be an effective leader if you are not able to have hard conversations that are successful. “Successful” means addressing tough topics in a way that will create change.    One crucial skill to make hard conversations successful is attending to how things are being said. Without an awareness of the ‘how,’ things won’t be as safe as they could be. And if things aren’t safe, they won’t go deep. And if they don’t go deep, they probably won’t stick.   Five other episodes that relate to these skills are: Dealing With Emotional Responses A Difficult Conversation Discussing Difficult Behaviors Handling Defensive Behaviors Three Words You Should Never Say   If you want to dig even deeper into this topic, two books to read are: “Difficult Conversations” from The Harvard Negotiation Project. The authors are Stone, Patton and Heen.  And from the folks at VitalSmarts is “Crucial Conversations.” The authors are Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler.   Both books are great. Lots of scripts. Lots of insights. Lots of tools.