Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

By Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté, MD

This parenting classic is as relevant today as it was when it was first published, shining a light on one of the most misunderstood trends of our time: how the influence of peers, magnified by social media and video game culture, is replacing parents in the lives of children, and what parents can do about it—now featuring a new chapter

WINNER OF THE NATIONAL PARENTING PUBLICATIONS GOLD AWARD • “A worthy book that brings us genuinely new ideas and fresh perspectives on parenting.”—Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Reviving Ophelia

Children take their lead from their friends: Being “cool” matters more than anything else. Shaping values, identity, and codes of behavior, peer groups are often far more influential than parents. But this situation is far from natural, and it can be dangerous—it undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. Children end up becoming conformist, anxious, and alienated.

In Hold On to Your Kids, acclaimed physician and bestselling author Gabor Maté joins forces with psychologist Gordon Neufeld to pinpoint the causes of this breakdown and offer practical advice on how to “reattach” to your children and earn back their loyalty and love.

By helping to reawaken our instincts, Neufeld and Maté empower parents to be what nature intended: a true source of enrichment, security, and warmth for their children.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
• Release date: Nov 19, 2008
• ISBN: 9780307485960

Reviews for Hold On to Your Kids

[deldevries · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Some great ideas in here. Think about relationships and positive attachment through connection as helping an adolescent grow up in a safe environment. Peer pressure might be positive, but why leave it to chance.

[mirkwood-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Just started it, no surprise here. For years "professionals" have told us how to parent our kids and kids are not better off for it. Glad I didn't listen.Attachment parenting validated, nice for a change.

[cecilturtle · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A fairly common sense approach to parenting. I have reservations as to the underlying theme that Mom should stay at home, but the actual premise is sound. With parents more and more delegating their role due to social pressures (especially in North America), I can see how this would be valid. I think European values still hold strong with an emphasis on family, so this thesis may seem a bit extreme. A little dry, but well explained.