'Tis Grace: A Story of God's Redemption

By Allan Thompson

Allan Thompson was a self-destructive alcoholic who had lost everything but his devoted family when he finally hit rock bottom and heard the still, small voice of God beckoning him to a life of hope, joy, and the ministry of God's Word.

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Ewings Publishing LLC
• Release date: Sep 2, 2024
• ISBN: 9781957203164

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Copyright © 2021 Allan Th ompson

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Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® Copyright© 1973, 1978, 1984 Biblica. Used by permission

of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Lyin’ Eyes. Written by Don Henley and Glenn Frey of the Eagles, 1975.

Alcoholics Anonymous and A.A. are registered trademarks® of A.A. World Services, Inc.

ISBN: 978-1-957203-14-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-957203-15-7 (hc)

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The Ewings Publishing LLC

One Galleria Blvd., Suite 1900, Metairie, LA 70001

1-888-421-2397

To my long-suffering wife, Betty,

who has held our family together,

And to our beautiful daughters, Kelly and Kimberly.

I once was lost,

but now am found,

was blind,

but now I see.

Amazing Grace

(John Newton, 1779)

Contents

Preface

Lost and Blind

Chapter 1 Uprooting

Chapter 2 Lawton

Chapter 3 Transition

Chapter 4 Chaos Inside and Out

Chapter 5 Leaving Oklahoma

Chapter 6 To the Big Apple

Chapter 7 Into the Ad World

Chapter 8 Too Much Pressure in the Fast Lane

Chapter 9 Out and Back

Chapter 10 Pittsburgh—Tough Years

Chapter 11 St. Louis

Chapter 12 Over My Head in Springfield

Chapter 13 Final Collapse

I AM FOUND AND NOW I SEE

Chapter 14 My Release

Chapter 15 A.A.

Chapter 16 I Begin to See

Chapter 17 Now I Know!

Chapter 18 God’s Communication

Chapter 19 Agonies and an Ecstasy

Chapter 20 Breakthrough

Chapter 21 But Still Struggling

Chapter 22 Social Security

Chapter 23 Evangelism, Part I

Chapter 24 Evangelism, Part II

Chapter 25 I Must Preach

Chapter 26 To AGTS

Chapter 27 Learning and Growing

Chapter 28 Prayer

Chapter 29 Becoming Me

Chapter 30 We Go to Revival

Chapter 31 Brownsville Continued

Chapter 32 God’s Passionate Love

Chapter 33 We Visit Some Neighbors

Chapter 34 Completion

Afterword

Notes

Acknowledgements

PREFACE

There are only two possible explanations for human existence.

We are here by chance, or we are here by design.

Physicists, astronomers, and other scientists who study matters of the universe generally accept what is known as the Big Bang theory. This theory was first introduced by Belgian Cosmologist Georges Lemaitre in 1927. He called it the Hypothesis of the Primeval Atom. In 1949, English Astronomer Sir Fred Hoyle named it the Big Bang. The Big Bang model postulates that the universe began some 13.7 billion years ago as the result of a huge, unexplainable explosion. The entirety of the universe was contained in a single mote of infinitely hot, dense energy that instantly expanded and continues to expand. Before the explosion there was nothing—no space, no time, no matter, no energy—nothing.

A whole lot of something came from nothing. With as many as 400 billion stars in our own Milky Way Galaxy, and with perhaps 400 billion galaxies (that scientists believe could exist), the universe’s magnitude is virtually beyond human comprehension. The Milky Way is 100,000 light years in diameter and the distance to the farthest object we can presently observe in the universe is more than eighteen billion light years. To put this in perspective, the sun is a mere eight light minutes from the earth (about ninety-three million miles).

Scientists deal with empirical knowledge. Their methodology does not allow for anything outside the realm of the observable. They have data that measures almost back to the point of the Big Bang, but they cannot explain what caused the Big Bang or how something came from nothing. Without a known prior cause, the universe, to science, remains a mysterious, chance occurrence of unfathomable scope.

Based upon accepted empirical evidence, as the universe cooled the earth was formed some 4.5 billion years ago. According to scientists, earth was still too hot for life until about 3.8 billion years ago when chemical processes (not fully understood) led to an environment that produced the first single cell life forms. These organisms developed over the next three billion years or so until plants and animals as we might know them came into existence (about 550 million years ago). Human types entered the scene some two million years ago, and modern humans (Homo sapiens) appeared between 400 and 250 thousand years ago.

According to the sciences, Homo sapiens evolved from lower life forms in a strikingly short period of time in the history of the universe and the earth. In this brief time, humans developed consciousness (self-awareness) and the ability for rational thought and reasoned choices. These highly complex attributes separate us humans from other life forms.

I find all of this quite unbelievable—if everything began by chance.

To me, this chance explanation of the universe is simply irrational. It asks us to accept that something (the universe) came from nothing (the before or outside the universe) for no reason at all.

Therefore, I believe in the second explanation for our existence: we are here by design.

Design implies a purposeful plan, intelligently created. This intelligence would have to exist outside the universe, and would need to be larger than the universe, or, at least, different from the universe, just as man is different from his own creations. Those who accept this intelligence call it some variation of a Force, a Higher Power, or God. By definition, God is the supreme or ultimate reality: as the Being perfect in power, wisdom, and goodness . . . worshipped as creator and ruler of the universe (Merriam-Webster.com). This definition ascribes a personal nature to God, thus distinguishing God from an impersonal Force or Higher Power. The biblical accounts of God show Him to be a personal being as well.

I believe it is the biblical God who created the universe.

Setting aside the fact that science has no empirical way to measure the existence of God, the biggest stumbling block to human acceptance of such a Supreme Being is that if such a Being were to exist, He would be supreme Ruler. This would mean that we humans would owe our lives and our allegiance to this Being. We would need to acknowledge that we are not in control: God is.

There is nothing more difficult, even terrifying, for us humans than to surrender control. To be in control—and be their own gods—was the original sin of Adam and Eve when they ate of the forbidden fruit in the biblical Garden of Eden. They wanted to be like God, knowing good and evil (Genesis 3:5). According to Genesis, in Eden, through Adam and Eve, God allowed us humans to freely go our own selfish ways, thus bringing sin, destruction, and death into the world. God could have stopped Adam and Eve from eating the fruit—for that matter God could have chosen not to create the fruit at all. But, without the opportunity to eat forbidden fruit, human free will would be meaningless.

God knew Adam and Eve would choose to disobey Him. The Bible says God knows all. Three thousand years ago Israel’s King David wrote this beautiful and profound passage about God’s knowledge.

You [God] discern my going out

        and my lying down;

you are familiar with all

        my ways.

Before a word is on my

        tongue

you know it completely

        O LORD. . . .

you knit me together in my

        mother’s womb. . . .

My frame was not hidden

        from you

when I was made in the

        secret place.

When I was woven together

        in the depths of the

        earth,

your eyes saw my

        unformed body.

All the days ordained for me

        were written in your book

        before one of them came

        to be.

(Psalm 139:3-4; 13b; 15-16)

I was not aware of this psalm of King David until I was forty-eight years old. Indeed, until then, I was not aware that God was a living, personal Being who chooses us and creates us, and, yes, who loves each of us.

When David wrote this psalm he did not know biological facts—how sperm and egg unite to create a new life. He did not know of DNA, the complex hereditary material that contains the genetic instructions for all organisms. He most likely did not grasp the astounding odds against his own unique self ever being born. But, he knew who God was, and he knew God’s role in his creation. He knew that his birth and life—all of his days—were given by, and dependent upon, the mercy of God.

Since God opened my eyes, I have pondered and marveled at my own creation. My brother, Mike, our family expert in genealogy, has compiled a record of our lineage going back four or five generations. In looking over the branches—Thompsons, Sheltons, Harris’s, Beckwiths, Lewis’s, Godfreys, Malones, and more, that comprise my relatively recent family tree—I am overwhelmed by the exponential progression. It took two parents to produce me, four grandparents to produce my parents, eight great-grandparents to produce them, and on and on into the past. If I continue back only fifteen generations to the time of the Mayflower, the progression involves 32,768 family ancestors.

The fact that you and I, the specific you and I, exist is a miracle. In each human, the male sperm contributes one-half the genetic code and the female egg provides the other. Each month a woman of child-bearing age produces about one thousand eggs, but only one arrives at the point of fertilization. In a woman’s childbearing years, perhaps 400 eggs are available for conception. In his reproductive years, a male may produce more than one trillion sperm. Only one fertilizes an egg. In the midst of all of this, God specifically chose you and me to be conceived.

What David wrote in Psalm 139 is true. God knows in advance—has always known in advance—who of us will be born and what our days will be. God knew before he created the universe the exact time and place of our conception, and the exact sperm and egg that would create you and me. He knows how our every day will unfold. He knows every decision we will make. He knows every circumstance that will affect us.

Does his foreknowledge inhibit our freedom to make choices? No. This is a great paradox: the working of God’s foreknowledge in conjunction with our free will. We are always free to eat the forbidden fruit, and we do. Others also choose to eat the fruit. We live in a world reeling from the effects of Adam and Eve’s sin. There are natural disasters, man-made disasters, wars, emotional and physical conflicts, and death.

Yet, God has a plan for creation and humans are his ultimate masterpiece. God created us in his [personal] image (Genesis 1:26) to become more like Him as we journey back to Him from this fallen world. God molds us through our reactions to all life brings, both joy and tragedy. We can choose to become more like Him, or we can choose to become more bitter and resentful and run farther from Him.

Understandably, we shrink from pain and conflict, but, in fact, conflict enriches our lives. Without conflict, we would have no stories. In our life stories, we may suffer such agony that we cry out with rage and anguish, but upon reflection, we know it is better to live than not to have lived at all.

By design, God spoke the universe into existence—a profound act of love. God chose in advance to create the specific you and me, thus imbuing us, and every human, with great privilege, dignity, worth, and purpose. When we are alienated from God, He seeks earnestly to bring us back. I pray that each of us will heed his call and turn to Him in gratitude and joy. I pray that our stories will always honor God, our Creator, and reflect his love for all others to see. If so, we will most certainly be assured of happy endings.

LOST AND BLIND

CHAPTER 1

UPROOTING

My own checkered story began when I was fearfully and wonderfully conceived in the fall of 1942. I was born on July 5 th , 1943, in Pine Bluff, Arkansas, to Herbert N. and Catherine (Shelton) Thompson. When I was born my dad was serving the war years as a civilian chemist at the arsenal in Pine Bluff. He had been rejected for active military duty because of complications that might arise as a result of a childhood kidney disease.

In 1945, when the war ended, Dad took a job with Parke, Davis & Company as a pharmaceutical sales representative and we moved to Batesville, Arkansas. My brother, Mike, was born there in 1947. We lived in Batesville only until I was six, but because of my parents’ love for the beauty of Northern Arkansas, the casual lifestyle, and their closeness to one family in particular, we kept returning to Batesville on vacations for many years.

My dad’s best friend, Dr. Norman Grammar, was a local Batesville dentist. He was a big man who lived life largely. He and Dad loved to fish and play golf together, and to drink together. Subconsciously, I began to see the heavy use of alcohol as normal, and connected with good times and fun. My association of alcohol with good times was to later lead to the near destruction of my life.

The Grammar kids, Frankie and Gordon, were the same ages as my brother and me and we all spent many an hour together. Frankie became my best friend through those years.

The Grammars—as did most affluent families in Batesville—had a black cook/maid/nanny. Her name was Ada. Ada ran the household and kept a close eye on us kids. She was strict, but kind and always available for a hug. I loved her. We kids visited her home and even went to services with her once in a dilapidated, old country church, heated with one large pot-bellied stove.

But, as much as Ada meant to the Grammar family, there was always a divide. Like the other black people in Batesville, Ada knew her place. Black families lived in a separate area of town from the whites. They shopped at their own markets. They attended their own churches and schools. They would not dare cross any unspoken social boundaries.

There was a particular incident that happened in Batesville that helped open my eyes to the pervasive evil of racial hatred in the South. One evening about dusk, Frankie and our friend Rick and I were walking along a street in town when we came upon three black youths about our age. Frankie and Rick picked up rocks and started chasing and throwing at them. I shouted, Why are you doing that? and Rick hollered back, Because they’re niggers. What really amazed me was the fact that the black kids ran away and didn’t turn and fight. It would have been a pretty even match. Later I understood that they ran because the consequences would have been grave for them and their families if they had stayed to fight. They would have crossed an unspoken boundary.

Another time in my youth, my family spent the night at a Tennessee motel. We went to a movie theater but the downstairs was sold out. I really wanted to see the movie so I begged my dad to let us sit in the balcony. The more I begged, the more furious he became. Outside he said, Allan, the balcony is for colored. I then remembered that I had seen colored and white signs over the water fountains as well. My parents were not overtly prejudiced; my dad had just been frustrated and embarrassed by a situation for which there was no adequate explanation, at least to a young boy.

As time went on, I discovered that black families could not stay in motels or eat at most restaurants. As whites, we took these conveniences for granted, but they were simply not available to black people. I would like to say that as I grew older I became an outspoken advocate for civil rights, but I didn’t. Despite the fact that I had great empathy for the injustice toward black people, I used the n word and told crude racial jokes almost until the day I was saved. Since I was a people-pleaser by nature, it was easy to join white friends in this thoughtless and harmful degradation.

When we had moved from Batesville, it was to Lookout Mountain, near Chattanooga, Tennessee, and, in 1952, we moved to Nashville. In Chattanooga and Nashville, I learned to love the outdoors. On Lookout Mountain we lived a few blocks from the world-famous Rock City. We went there many times as my parents entertained friends and relatives who came to visit. I was most intrigued by the fascinating narrow trail that wound through the towering boulders strewn about the park.

In Nashville, I was free to roam on my own (there were no fears of molestation in those days), and I explored the creeks, hills, and dense woods near my house. I had my own Daisy Red Ryder BB gun and shot birds until one day I wounded a bluebird and it fell flopping desperately at my feet. I put it out of its misery, threw its limp body into a creek, and never shot another bird.

In Nashville, my two best friends were neighbors Steve Harper and Herbie Kneeland. We were inseparable. I loved my life in Nashville, but then we moved again. It was our third move in five years and the constant uprooting left an indelible pain in my heart. It hurt to make good friends and then be torn from them. It hurt to leave the places I loved.

CHAPTER 2

LAWTON

From Nashville, in 1954, we moved to Lawton, Oklahoma, and finally settled in to a place where we would stay. Lawton started badly, however. We were temporarily crammed into a rental house that was much too small. It was summer, and school was out. I had no friends.