Jagged Secrets: Jagged Ivory Series, #4

By Lashell Collins

Always the life of the party, Buzzy West is charismatic and fun-loving. Never hurting for female companionship, he's never lonely. At a glance, he seems like the true love 'em and leave 'em kind of guy. But that's all an illusion, because the truth is that he just never got over the woman who broke his heart.

 

Janie Kim is a shy, quiet bookworm who spent her high school days as your basic friendless social misfit. That is, until Robby (Buzzy) West came to town. Their innocent friendship quickly blossomed into love – the soul searing, forever kind. But Janie knew that Robby's talent was too good for small town life, so she did what she thought was best and broke his heart right after graduation.

 

Devastated, Buzzy picked up his drumsticks and left town, headed for LA to chase his dream. But years later, when she shows up backstage after a Jagged Ivory concert, Buz can't get her or their romance out of his mind. He needs answers to the questions he's been asking himself all these years. He needs closure. Only when he goes looking for it, he finds that Janie's been keeping secrets.

 

This is the second edition of this book and not a new title.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lashell Collins
• Release date: Dec 30, 2013
• ISBN: 9798224182596

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

Janie sat wringing her hands and silently praying. Why was this happening?

Why was this happening now? So soon after losing her mother.

Hadn't she been through enough? She couldn't lose him too. He was all she had left in this world.

Please!

She paced around the hospital waiting area, fighting to hold back the tears, for what seemed like forever as she tried to understand why this was happening.

What kind of sick karma was this?

Was she being punished for something?

Had she done something so horrible in a past life to warrant this kind of misery and torture?

Was this happening because she had kept the truth from Robby for so long?

She had kept their son from him for years, so now he was being taken away from her as retribution. Was this some sort of cosmic payback?

Why did she keep losing the people she loved?

They had spent a perfectly lovely afternoon in the park. Something the two of them did on a regular basis. Something they both loved and enjoyed. And it was working.

The spring air with its beautiful pink and white blooming dogwoods and purple Eastern Redbuds were lifting both their spirits. How had it all gone so wrong so quickly?

She had been sitting on a park bench, breathing in deep and letting the sweet-smelling air fill her lungs completely. Looking up at the activity around her she had taken in the joggers and the dog-walkers, smiling at the adorable canines as they passed by. And she watched the small group of little boys laughing and playing in the distance. She hadn't been sure what game they were playing exactly, but she watched them intently for a long time.

They all appeared to be having great fun, running and laughing as they chased each other around the park. She remembered smiling as she watched them, at times almost wishing she could join them. They seemed so carefree and happy, as if there was nothing more pressing in their world than the rules of the game they were playing.

Janie felt herself frowning now as she tried to remember what that felt like. To go through life without a care in the world, knowing that everything would always be okay because your parents were superheros who would always be there and would never allow anything bad to happen to you.

She couldn't imagine it anymore – a life without struggle and worry. With no loss and no heartbreak. With no pain.

She sighed as she realized that this train of thought was getting her nowhere. She had gone to the park to get her mind off of things, not to dwell on them. But that's all she had done – dwell on her problems and her grief. And her loneliness.

She missed her mother.

She knew it was crazy. She and her mother argued nearly every day of the week about some trivial thing or another. But through it all, she had always known that her mother was her very best friend, and she missed her like mad now that she was gone.

Janie would give anything to be able to tell her that.

To be able to tell her that she loved her and that she missed their talks. And her lectures.

What she wouldn't give to hear her mother admonish her about the choices she was making just one more time.

But it wasn't just her mother she was missing, Janie knew. She had lost so many people. First her dad, and now her mom.

And then there was always Robby.

Her parents she could understand. Her father's car accident had been so unexpected, but it was something she could at least comprehend. And her mother had been ill for the last few years, so as much as it hurt, it wasn't a total surprise.

But Robby… Janie still had a hard time with that one.

Why he was no longer in her life?

Of course, he didn't exactly leave her, did he? She had been the one who foolishly pushed him away, insisting that they couldn't be together anymore.

She had basically forced him to leave.

She could still see the hurt look in his eyes every time she thought about that awful day.

But his smile haunted her.

She saw it a million times each day in their little boy, and she lived for it. But now that bright, happy smile might be leaving her life as well.

Why was this happening?

Why couldn't the doctors figure out what was wrong with him?

Unable to hold it in any longer, Janie broke down into sobs as she buried her face in her hands, crying uncontrollably and feeling so completely and utterly alone.

CHAPTER 2

The roar of the crowd vibrated the entire stadium, and Buzzy could feel the rumble in his bones. He loved this part. That moment when the last song has ended and the crowd realizes that the show is over.

Their screams always get a little louder, their applause a little harder. And the adrenalin courses through your body in waves.

He smiled as he stood up, stepping away from his drum kit and hopping down off the two-foot riser with his sticks still in his hand. He joined his bandmates at the front of the stage, hooking his arm around Noah Ivory's waist as they all bent over and took a bow. With a flick of his neck, he let his long black hair flow over his shoulders as they straightened up.

He always wished he had a camera at this point of the night so he could take a panoramic shot of the crowd and take them with him.

Maybe he would get Mercy to do that for him sometime.

It was times like this that made him think about when Jagged Ivory was just starting out and playing bars and small clubs around L.A. Sometimes he still couldn't believe that they were now packing arenas all around the world. Talk about a dream come true.

They were all just dreamers back then, he thought as they stood on the stage and tossed out a few guitar picks into the crowd. Just five simple guys with nothing but dreams. Well, that and a lot of heart, and a whole lot of determination.

Buzzy had been playing drums since he was about knee high, and he had met a lot of musicians in that time. Played in a lot of garage bands. But he had never met a more like-minded bunch or felt such a kinship with another group of guys.

They were fond of telling people they were brothers, not bandmates, and Buz knew that it was an idea that they all truly believed in. He had two brothers by blood – Donald and Gregory – and he loved them both dearly. But he had never felt as close to them, or as understood by them as he did to his four Jagged Ivory brothers. They felt more like family to him than anyone else in his life.

Thank you, Cleveland, Otis shouted into the microphone. Goodnight!

The words caught Buzzy's attention and pulled him back to the here and now. It was always a surreal experience for him, playing Cleveland, Ohio.

Even though he had lived pretty much everywhere while he was growing up, he always thought of Cleveland as home.

Probably because she was here.

Or at least… she was still here last he had heard.

This is where it had all gone down.

Where he first met her.

Where she became his life.

Where she had pushed him away and broken his heart so many years ago.

But he shoved those thoughts away to the back of his mind as the band left the stage and made their way through the bowels of the Q Arena and down to the dressing room. He smiled to himself as he watched Cory rush past him to grab his cell phone and call his wife.

Man, you are so whipped it is not even funny, Buzzy said, laughing at him.

Fuck you, Buzzy, Cory smiled as he dialed. Donna and I haven't been back together long, but we are in a really good place right now.

I'm just messing with you, man, Buz couldn't help smiling at him. Cory had been on cloud nine for weeks now. Ever since he and Donna had reconciled and stopped their divorce proceedings.

Besides, I want to see how my little boy's doing, Cory added.

You know it's a boy? Noah asked, clearly surprised.

Yeah, man, Cory smiled. She had an appointment with the doctor earlier today. She told me it was a boy right before we went out on stage tonight.

Congratulations, man! There were several hugs and pats on the back as they all rushed to share in Cory's joy.

Buzzy grabbed a towel and began wiping the sweat from his face and arms. He really needed a quick shower before they headed out tonight. He and Otis and Cory were going to check out The Velvet Dog, one of Cleveland's hottest spots for nightlife, and he was psyched about it.

He had been there a few times on trips home to see his mom when she still lived here, and it was always a good time. He wished Noah and Benji were coming too, but he understood their reasons for declining. The club and party scene was still a little too much for either of them to handle. But Buz was proud of the way they were both guarding their sobriety so fiercely.

Yo, Benji, he heard Noah call out, as if the guitarist had been reading Buz's thoughts. Would you and Fae mind some company for dinner tonight?

Benji smiled at him. Nah, man. Where you and Mercy want to eat?

Buz smiled at the exchange as he listened to the two make plans. He looked up and made a face for the camera when Mercy called his name.

Oh, that will look great on the website Tour Journal, she smiled at him, and he laughed at her.

A female voice suddenly shrieked loudly, the sound piercing the entire backstage area.

Oh, my God. You are Noah Ivory!

Buzzy turned to check out the chick in hysterics and his gaze lingered a second as he took in the shapely legs that seemed to go on forever, disappearing beneath one of the shortest skirts he thought he'd ever seen.

Her halter top was black lace, and it bared her midriff and cinched her ample breasts up high, like a corset, leaving very little to the imagination. Long auburn hair floated to the middle of her back.

The term hot was an understatement for this one. Not only was she gorgeous, but she was very obviously hell on wheels.

Good evening, ladies, Noah smiled as he greeted the girl and her friends. It was clear that these girls weren't part of the usual group of fan club or tour promoter VIPs. They had found their way to the dressing room for one reason, and one reason only.

Oh, my God, Ms. Halter Top repeated with another excited squeal. I can't believe I'm really back here! You were so freaking hot out there on that stage, Noah! I swear, I felt like you were playing just for me.

Noah laughed, but refused to burst her bubble. If the female fans wanted to believe that he was playing his guitar solely for them, he wasn't about to tell them otherwise.

Well, thank you for coming to the show. I'm glad you ladies had a good time.

Can I get your autograph, pretty please, Ms. Halter Top sweetly purred, fishing a pen out of her purse.

Absolutely, he responded, taking the pen from her hands. Then he looked at her expectantly. Do you have a program or an autograph book or something?

Oh. No, I don't, she said, smiling salaciously at him. I was hoping you could just sign me. Right here, she said, running one ruby-tipped finger across her left breast.

His eyes followed her finger, and he smiled as he looked up at her once more.

This never got old.

Noah uncapped the pen and gingerly reached out with one hand, trying his best not to fondle her as he put the pen to her chest and let the tip of it glide across her skin as he signed his name on her large breast.

You can do a whole lot more than just sign them if you want to, big boy, she said, smiling at him. Don't be afraid to squeeze and play if you feel like it.

Noah chuckled at that as he handed the pen back to her. Well, thank you for the offer, but I have a very nice set of my own to play with.

Mmm. Now that is a good answer, Mr. Ivory. I would hate for you to take your own set for granted, Mercy said as she saddled up beside him.

Noah smiled as he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her to him. I would not dream of it, Ms. Holland, he said, looking into her eyes as he leaned in and lightly kissed her lips.

Since she and Noah had become a couple, Mercy had come to realize that a lot of girls out there couldn't care less that her man was involved in a serious, committed relationship, and many of them never thought twice about throwing themselves at him right in front of her.

At first, it had made her extremely uncomfortable, and she and Noah argued about it a couple of times. But then he began to make more of an effort to let the overzealous female fans know that he was taken. That helped a lot.

Ms. Halter Top looked Mercy over critically and smirked at her. Don't worry, honey. I don't want to take him from you. I just want to borrow him for a little while. Besides, she said, looking at Noah, mine are better than hers. You don't know what you're passing up on.

Maybe not, Noah replied with an apologetic smile. But I know what I'd be losing, and I'm not willing to risk it.

But lucky for me, Otis said, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder as he smiled at the girls. I've got nothing to lose.

The girl smiled broadly as she turned her attention to Otis. That's a very good thing. Because I have another spot here reserved just for you, she said as she handed him the pen and shoved her cleavage his way.

Otis took the pen with a smile as he asked, What's your name, sweet thing?

My name is Kiki, she smiled as he scribbled his name on her breast.

Kiki? he grinned. I like it. It rhymes with kinky. The girl laughed in delight as he flirted with her. You want to go to a club with me tonight, Kinky Kiki?

Oh, I'll go anywhere you want to take me, Otis Ivory, she smiled as she reached out and took hold of Otis' offered hand.

Noah and Mercy watched as he led the girl off to a corner of the dressing room, each of them shaking their heads as the pair walked away.

Noah briefly made eye contact with Buzzy, shooting him a quick rise and fall of his eyebrows. And Buzzy's answering holy shit expression confirmed what Noah was already thinking. That girl was hot as hell and looking for trouble. Just the sort that they all used to seek out back in the band's early days.

Buzzy watched the activity going on around him as the dressing room began to fill with the usual VIPs, lucky fan club winners, and partiers, and the band spent the next several minutes taking pictures and signing a few autographs.

There were even a few of Buzzy's cousins in the backstage mix tonight, and he spent some time catching up with them before inviting them to come party with him and the others at The Velvet Dog. Now, he was looking forward to the evening more than ever.

Eager to get cleaned up so they could head out, he began to pick his way through the crowd to head back toward the showers. But he hadn't gotten far when he suddenly heard the voice of a ghost behind him.

Hi, Robby.

There were only two people in the world who called him that. And the sweet, familiar lilt definitely did not belong to his mother. But it grabbed his attention with perfect ease, and it made him relive an entire fourteen months in a few split seconds.

He felt his breath catch in his throat and his hands instantly began to sweat as he slowly turned around to get a glimpse of her.

Timid, soft brown eyes met his, and his heart took off like it was running a drag strip.

Was he imagining this?

Was this real?

Janie, Buz whispered, disbelieving.

Was she really here or was his heart simply playing mind games with him because he was here in Ohio?

She smiled at him, and his racing heart went into overdrive.

Janie Kim, he said in wonder as he stepped forward and enveloped her into a tight bear hug. Oh, God, he whispered as he closed his eyes and savored the feel of her in his arms.

How long had he wanted to do this?

How long had it been?

He knew exactly how long.

He had been counting the days ever since she had left him.

It had been eight years.

Eight long, lonely years since he had last laid eyes on her. But you wouldn't know that by looking at her. She was still every bit as pretty as he remembered.

Thin and petite. Warm almond-shaped eyes, long black hair and creamy golden skin. She still looked just as she always did in his dreams. His imagination had done her perfect justice all these years.

He held on to her for the longest time, and Janie felt as though she were drowning in him. She could feel the dampness of his t-shirt against her cheek as the masculine, musky scent of his sweat combined with the memories of their time together.

It was a potent, heady combination and she relished every second of it.

Even as she feared it.

She felt completely overwhelmed by him, as usual.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea and she shouldn't have come.

It is so good to see you, he said as he reluctantly pulled away, holding her at arm's length. What are you doing here?

The same thing everyone else is doing, she smiled. Watching Jagged Ivory do what they do best. The show was incredible, Robby.

Thanks, he said softly as he stared down at her. He couldn't believe she was really standing here in front of him. Close enough to touch. Close enough to kiss.

"I always knew