Lust, Trust, and Every Single Girl Must: Your guidebook for navigating flesh, faith, and fun as a single Christian

By Aeryonna Ware

This book is jam-packed with essentials for single Christian women to navigate:

Lust/Flesh

Certain topics are taboo until marriage, but there are temptations and frustrations that are present now. Learn simple tactics to overcome these tests.

Trust/Faith

Insecurities and impatience can creep in, especially when it feels like things are taking too long. Strategize on how to trust God's plan for your life.

Musts/Fun

You may feel unfulfilled, as though you've subconsciously paused your life until marriage. Dive into actively enjoying God's gift of life while simultaneously becoming your best self.

Learn all this information through practical and interactive techniques. Who but the Lord knows how long this single season will last, so why spend the whole time miserable or off-track? Grab a pen, Bible, and notebook, and embark on a journey to your best blessed life!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Apr 16, 2024
• ISBN: 9798886165784

Book preview

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Lust, Trust, and Every Single Girl Must

Your guidebook for navigating flesh, faith, and fun as a single Christian

Aeryonna Ware

ISBN 979-8-88616-577-7 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88616-578-4 (digital)

Copyright © 2024 by Aeryonna Ware

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Let’s connect!

Have questions for the author? Want to know what she’s doing next? Visit www.happygodgirlproductions.com to connect with her socials and never miss an update!

Scriptures marked KJV are taken from the KING JAMES VERSION (KJV): KING JAMES VERSION, public domain.

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Thank You, Jesus, for never giving up on me and for being with me every step of the way in this journey. Thank you to every single person that has ever taken time to pour love into me, especially at my unlovable moments. To everyone whose timely obedience changed my life, thank you.

Introduction

Lust

What It Is and Why It happens

How to Avoid It

How to Overcome It

Scripture References (Lust Section)

Trust

Faith Is Essential

Give It Time

Do You Know Who He Is?

It's Not You

Scripture References (Trust Section)

Every Single Girl Must

Top Priority

But It's You

Singleness and Solitude

Positioned as a Wife

Scripture References (Every Single Girl Must Section)

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Thank You, Jesus, for never giving up on me and for being with me every step of the way in this journey. Thank you to every single person that has ever taken time to pour love into me, especially at my unlovable moments. To everyone whose timely obedience changed my life, thank you.

Introduction

I'm just a girl that overcame and can help you do the same.

If you're reading this book, then I can make a few estimations about who you are. I imagine that you're an unmarried woman. I can imagine that you love the Lord, and you're desperately trying to live a righteous life before Him. You wish to be married, but you don't want to be consumed by it. You battle inappropriate thoughts, and you worry that you desire marriage for impure reasons. You're tired of struggling in your chastity. You contemplate settling. You find potential in every man that you meet. You panic at the thought of never getting married or having the family that you desire. You can almost hear your biological clock ticking. You're starting to doubt God will ever bless you with a mate. You're ashamed that at times you feel jealous or bitter about other people's relationships. You feel like your life is at a standstill. You've received so much conflicting advice that it's made you confused about what to do. You want to enjoy your singleness, but you're not sure how. You may even battle with depression because you're so miserable and tired of being alone.

Now, of course, not all of those statements will apply to you; but if you're anything like me, a few of them will have struck a nerve. Fortunately, I've made immense progress in overcoming the tribulations that try to plague single Christians. The Lord has poured out His favor on my life in this area, and I believe it's because I was yielded enough to follow His instructions. While I don't preach perfection or a standardized formula to singleness, I've found some helpful tips that worked for me and will work for you as well.

If you've never heard of me, you'll get to know me quite well. I talk about myself at great length throughout this text. But some disclosure up front, I'm just a girl that overcame and can help you do the same. That's it. That's all I am. I don't have a bunch of letters behind my name. Everything written here is what I believe the Holy Spirit divinely inspired me to write. At current writing, I'm still happily living in my singleness, and I'm so excited for who God is going to bless through the lessons that I've learned. However, I think it's very important for you to consult with the Lord and specialists, if necessary, before applying any advice from this book.

Curious about what the title means? Let me explain. In this text, we'll tackle these three sections:

Lust/Flesh

Certain topics are taboo until marriage, but there are temptations and frustrations that are present today. We use simple tactics to overcome these tribulations.

Trust/Faith

When lust is subdued, insecurities and impatience can become pronounced, especially if it feels like things are taking a long time. We strategize on how to trust God's plan for our lives.

Must/Fun

When doubt is defeated, some women may realize that they're unfulfilled and on autopilot, as though they've subconsciously paused their life until marriage. We dive into actively enjoying God's gift of life, while simultaneously becoming our best selves.

But wait a minute! I'm happy in my single season, and I never struggle with lust, and I trust God with everything. Well, we thank God! Please pass this book on to someone who may need it. Or better yet, form a book club and discuss the topics presented here while highlighting your own experiences. This can help other women who may be struggling. This is not a time to be high-minded. As I was growing in the Lord, a lot of women seemed to have mastered their single season. Many weren't open about the struggles they may have had, so this prompted me to keep my shortcomings to myself. But if I did happen to speak about my lust issues, I ended up leaving most conversations feeling that something was wrong with me. I felt like I should just stop having desires, but I didn't have any practical tips. Thankfully, the Lord dealt with me personally. And don't get me wrong, He certainly used people to give me wisdom at times. However, I still want to stress that sometimes a little transparency can go a long way, especially with those who feel alone in their fight against flesh.

Whatever your reason is for picking up this book, I really pray that the Lord ministers to your heart. We're going to get into the nitty-gritty of being a single Christian, and it's my sincere prayer that you get what you need from this text. God has something amazing for you, and I intend to help you prepare for it.

Before you embark on the journey within these pages, let's do some housekeeping. I'd like you to take a moment to document this day, so pause here and take a picture of yourself. Please print your picture, date it, and post it on the upcoming blank page. Also, I implore you to obtain a Bible and a notebook. I provide a lot of scriptures at the end of each section, usually in order of reference. I don't always note when a statement is scripturally based, so I encourage you to refer to the scripture list periodically while reading the chapters. But it's worth mentioning that I use KJV (King James Version) scriptures throughout the book, so if you'd feel more comfortable referring to a different translation, you'll need to have that Bible on hand. And I encourage obtaining a notebook because, though there are many opportunities to write in this book, you may want to spend time journaling in addition to those prompts.

Okay, I'm excited! Let's jump right in. Your best, blessed life is waiting.

Let's take a journey.

Post your picture below. Write the date as well.

Lust

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

—1 Corinthians 6:18–20 KJV

What It Is and Why It happens

Confronting lust is our first order of business, but in order to fight our enemy, we have to know our enemy. Many times, lust is a powerful adversary of single Christians. Keep in mind that lust is nothing more than strong want. Society tends to associate it with sexual desires, and for this book, we're also using it in that sense.

Sexual desire is not wrong in and of itself. We have hormones, and these hormones help us in our most primitive nature to ensure that we survive and reproduce. These feelings aren't evil. You should want a man! How do you expect to be in a lasting and sexually healthy marriage one day? There's nothing wrong with wanting to be fruitful and multiply.

So now that we know that the desire isn't wrong, then what is? Let's take a dive.

Hormones/Flesh

Let's begin our talk with hormones. Hormones are real, and they're a natural part of our flesh. Our bodies are designed to reproduce. One strategy that our bodies use to ensure that reproduction happens is to desire a mate. It's normal for our flesh to want sex. What we want to avoid, however, is being so overtaken in those desires that we commit sexual immorality or enter marriage prematurely.

Hormones are a product of biology, and they have a big job. They regulate, stimulate, and influence many functions of our bodies. Hormones are responsible for a lot of the motivation behind our actions. Influences from hormones, especially when it comes to sexual desire, can come from natural and unnatural sources.

Natural Sources

The main natural source is the menstrual cycle, which includes the ovulation phase. I personally find it a great help to have an application on my phone that tracks my period and ovulation. This is a helpful thing to do because I can add any moods and symptoms right into the app. If I find myself being quickly irritated, overly hungry, very lustful, easily saddened, or anything that is out of the ordinary without a beknown cause, I log it. And most of the time, like clockwork, it's a peak ovulation day, that monthly time, or a surrounding date of either one. This just helps me to be aware of what I can expect from my body so that I'm properly armed. I fight against my flesh to bring it under subjection. It's not unnatural to want a man. Your body instinctively wants you to reproduce, and the only way that can happen is through sex. So naturally, during your peak fertility window, your body might kick it up a notch regarding wanting a man. However, our bodies aren't running the show. Repeat this statement: "My hormones do not control me, I control them." No, it may not be the easiest thing to do because you're literally fighting against your body's natural urges, but you must fight to resist. And God will help you. Sometimes you may have to talk to your flesh. Flesh, you are not married. Just because you're ovulating, doesn't mean you're getting a baby right now. Uterus, get over it. See you at my period.

I know it may seem silly to speak to yourself or your uterus, but whether natural or not, you can't let those feelings make headway. If you do, you will find yourself with a bigger problem, which is what I'm going to talk about shortly.

What are some natural causes that you've noticed activating your hormones? Write them below. Then write how you plan to fight those issues.

Unnatural Sources

Hormones can also be activated by unnatural sources. These next sources are also interchangeable as effects. Take a look at the chart:

The sources cause, and are caused by, each other. For example, sexual activity can cause all the other sources, and they can in turn cause sexual activity. And hormones can cause sexual fantasy, and sexual fantasy can cause hormones to awaken. Even though we've already discussed hormones and concluded that they're natural, they can cross into being unnatural when they activate or are activated by external sources. Let's take a look at the other pieces in the chart to better understand.

Self-Esteem Issues

It's important to note that one source of lust is self-esteem issues. The cause of this type of problem can vary from traumatic events, experiences in feeling unworthy or unloved, and beyond.