Which classmate are you? Secrets of communicating with peers

By EDGARS AUZIŅŠ

How do they treat you in class: do they respect you or ask for advice? Or do they treat you like a superfluous person or even laugh at you and sometimes humiliate you? If this is the case, can it be changed? And if so, how can it be changed?
This book will help you understand what you need to do to change things for the better.

• Language: English
• Publisher: EDGARS AUZINS
• Release date: Apr 15, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224100057

EDGARS AUZIŅŠ

Dzimis 1989. gada 22. decembrī. Absolvējis Rīgas Juridisko koledžu. Profesijā nav strādājis, bet apguvis programmēšanas prasmes un pašlaik ar to nodarbojas. Kopš 2022. gada ir personīgā uzņēmuma vadītājs, kas nodarbojas ar transporta pārvadājumiem, kā arī programmēšanu. Dzīvnieku, īpaši suņu, mīļotājs. Born 22 December 1989. Graduated from Riga College of Law. Has not worked in the profession, but has acquired programming skills and is currently working in it. Since 2022 he has been the CEO of his own company, which deals with transport transport as well as programming. Lover of animals, especially dogs.

Book preview

Part I. Why is this happening?

Chapter 1. Teachers love successful people

And it's true: how good it is when everything is good! There is a calm atmosphere at home, the class is full of friends, there are fours and fives in the diary. Or even just straight A's, which you'll agree is even better.

Even better, if this everything is fine accompanies you for 11 whole years. And then for the rest of your life.

But this does not always happen. And not all.

The beginning of school can be called the golden years for everyone. Or almost everyone. We ignore Potapov's poor student.

But then... Everything happens differently to everyone.

First, second, third, fourth grade... You're almost perfect. And if so, the teacher treats you almost like a relative. Teachers love those who study well.

The first teacher is also the school's mother, and a teacher, and a bodyguard... Let's say a class C student starts to tease you - she will pull him away from you by the ear! It was almost time to insult a great (or almost great)!

Of course she will stand up for student C and not hurt him, but you first. After all, you are her pride.

Therefore, you are two hundred percent protected!

And in general, your authority in elementary school depends on your grades.

And the better you study, the better teachers and classmates treat you.

Remember:

Learning well is always beneficial.

For example, Potapov has trouble moving from two to three, and no one wants to be friends with him. Why be friends - talk! And he sits alone like an owl on the last desk!

There are, of course, several other Potapov-like personalities in the class. Some have better grades, some worse. But they are still learning anyway. You can say it's bad. They seem to be outside the group, on their own. They sometimes laugh at them. They call you stupid. Well, if that's the case! Either well! To you, they are like aliens from another planet. And you personally are not interested in them at all. And your friends - Slavka and Glebs - too. And in general, you really like going to school.

Maybe also because Veronika, sitting at the other table, smiles at you more often than anyone else. For example, Mishka Petukhov.

Mishka is a good guy, but his studies are not very good. He is a C student. And everything you do is top notch.

How great is everything, right?

Meanwhile...

When the difficulties begin

Meanwhile, the end of elementary school is just around the corner. The first teacher, who protects you from all kinds of conflicts and attacks by individuals, will pass to the new first graders, and now you will have to solve all conflicts yourself. After all, you are already a fifth grader. And it is at this time that various troubles can begin. And all this because studies in high school coincide with hormonal changes in the body of students. For girls, this restructuring starts from 9 to 12 years old, for boys - from 10 to 14 years old.

And so it happens that if in elementary school everyone was roughly the same physiologically developed, now at the adult age level, people of different ages seem to have gathered in the class. Some are still only children, while others are already experiencing a hormonal storm. And this storm is looking for a way out. Maybe you have changed too. Either you are angry at the whole world or you are ready to embrace everyone. Today you are interested in one thing, tomorrow - another, and the day after - a third.

But the most important thing for a person of your age is not good grades in the diary. The most important thing right now is to be in a group of like-minded people and enjoy their respect.

If you managed to join such a group, it means that both your studies and your mood will be fine. If not... Well, let's think together how to fix it.

That's how it goes

Why does it happen that a person, frankly speaking, who is not bad - kind, likeable - ends up alone in the classroom?

It is not always the same. Well, for example, someone changed school for some reason, but the new team simply did not accept him.

Or let's say (let's say!) that you come to school after the summer vacation and after a while you realize that your position in the class has deteriorated a little. Last year you were one of the most respected students, and now your place has been taken by... C student Miška Petuhov! What happened?

The answer is simple: Mishka signed up for karate, learned some techniques and now demonstrates them during the break. And he is a star! But just recently you were a star.

Well, can a normal person take it easy?

––––––––

Of course you start to get angry and worried. And then, following Mishka, Slavka and Gleb signed up in the same section. They called you too, but you didn't go. From the principle. (Or rather, because of stupidity.)

And then a week or two passes, and you see that Slavka and Gleb communicate more and more with Petukhov (this is understandable, because they have a common hobby!) and less and less with you. By now, you've already regretted a hundred times that you didn't do karate, but now you'd be glad, but somehow... it's a pity. Inconvenient.

Slavka and Glebs and Petuhovs are even preparing for some kind of competition, they are already talking about it at every break. And you're out. And you suffer. You feel left out. Lonely. And your face is now sour, sour, as if you had swallowed a lemon. Your friends, seeing your disgruntled, gloomy face, turn to you less and less. And you worry even more. And your interest in studies decreases. Three appear. Nothing good at home either. In general, you feel trapped. You feel bad everywhere. Nobody likes you anywhere. Nobody needs you.

And now the first signs have already appeared in the diary - twins. Then the second, the third...

Now you are almost on the same level as Potapov and his comrades.

And Veronika, sitting at the other desk... She hasn't smiled at you in a long time, she doesn't even look at you. And you worry even more and get even angrier...

Everything is upside down

Of course, every person reacts to trouble. It's clear. But as they say, everything is good in moderation. And if you endlessly grind in your head everything that you don't like, it will not lead to anything good.

Honestly, in your case, the experience is based on nothing. And you have already made several mistakes.

First of all, instead of envying Petukhov, he should have joined the karate section together with Slavka and Gleb.

If you don't like karate, find something interesting. If you don't want to watch, go to school. Study well.

Anyway, and this is the second thing, you shouldn't have been mad at your friends. After all, they did not argue with you and, as you remember, at first they tried to communicate as if nothing had happened. They didn't exclude you from their social circle. You were excluded yourself. After all, you lost old friends and didn't make new ones, so now all you have to do is get angry. Yes, it is understandable: without friends, school is not fun, and lessons are not learned.

And at this time Potapov...

And during this time, Potapov and his friends also grow up. They don't even have excess energy in their bodies, but a surplus of energy. They have nowhere to put it, they don't do their homework, they don't go to any section. And the energy bubbling over the edges is looking for a way out.

If recently in Kamchatka they sat as quietly as water under the grass, now they often shout stupid remarks, argue with the teacher, play cards. In between, they keep half the school in awe and chase the lone losers who can't fight back. Just like you. And it will not be surprising if you are among the persecuted. Well, you've long since lost your status in class, lost your friends, and with your sour looks you're just getting into trouble. So Potapov and his friends play tricks - either they will push you into the girls' toilet and open the door from the outside, or they will smear the back of your school suit with green paint, or they will come up with something else.

But why me? - you think and never stop wondering about the injustice of the world around you.

But Petukhov is doing great!

And now it's not you, but him, almost an excellent student. And he walks around like a gogol and shows his tricks, and Potapov and his friends give him a wide berth. And all because he is strong and has many friends. Including Slavka and Gleb.

And all you can do is look at them with envy from the sidelines and think about how hard and unfair life is.

Of course, this is all just my imagination, not a very kind joke, in fact, everything is different for you. Sorry, but I just wanted to show how one can lose status in a class and what it leads to.

How is a school class organized?

My neighbor Fedya Fedichkina brought her first literary experiments just that day. I asked to see it. It was embarrassing to refuse, so I decided to randomly look at his creations and guess what, I was hooked! I thought it would be very helpful for you to know his story. And we'll discuss some details with you as you read.

So then...

Our 6 B. Subbotnik on Wednesday

- After classes, everyone is on cleaning day! - Pyotr Petrovich announced during the big break.

- What subbotnik? – Ivanov shouted. - Today is Wednesday!

It doesn't matter, said Pyotr Petrovich. – It's still a subbotnik.

Uh-huh... classy busy.

- No need to oo-ooh, but you will clean the area behind the school. Collect dry leaves. Fifteen minutes of work.

Remove dry leaves! It is great! I had what felt like a brand new camera in my backpack - my dad gave it to me last night - and now I just couldn't wait to photograph everyone at work. Catch an interesting moment - and...

After the bell rang, everyone reluctantly moved to the school grounds. It was funny to watch how Vtornikov, Dvornikov and our permanent boss Ivanov went ahead of everyone. Every now and then he turned and looked to see if anyone was running home. A little further, the beautiful Julia walked with her head raised. Behind them was a rather large group of silent classmates. They always keep to themselves and try not to participate in social events. The ones that everyone avoids are the last to reach. There are three of them in our class: two boys - Ivashchenko and Yashchenko - and Rita. Rita is young, recently came to us from another