Rap and Redemption on Death Row: Seeking Justice and Finding Purpose behind Bars

By Alim Braxton and Mark Katz

Imprisoned since age nineteen, Alim Braxton has spent more than a quarter century on North Carolina's death row. During that time, he converted to Islam and dedicated his life to redemption. Braxton, a rapper since the age of thirteen, uses his rhymes as a form of therapy and to advocate for prison reform, particularly by calling attention to the plight of the wrongfully incarcerated. This book, a hip-hop-rich prison memoir, chronicles Braxton's struggles and triumphs as he attempts to record an album while on death row, something no one has done before.

Braxton's world is complex: full of reflections on guilt, condemnation, incarceration, religious awakening, and the redemptive power of art. Ultimately, Braxton shows us that even amid the brutality of our prison system there are moments of joy, and on death row joy may be the most powerful form of resistance.

• Language: English
• Publisher: The University of North Carolina Press
• Release date: Apr 5, 2024
• ISBN: 9781469678726

Alim Braxton

Alim Braxton (a.k.a. RRome Alone) is a writer, rapper, and activist living on North Carolina's death row in Raleigh.

Book preview

PART I

Dear Mama, I Am a Murderer

A

BOUT TWO WEEKS after I was sentenced to die, I wrote a letter to my mother. It was one of my weakest moments. I was broken. A month after I wrote this, a man was executed at Central Prison. He was the last person North Carolina executed in a gas chamber. I saw the COs—correctional officers—celebrating with cupcakes. I saw prisoners getting beaten for protesting. I was traumatized.

Reading this letter again made me cry, remembering where I was at. I was finally coming to grips with the things I had done and who I really was. Peeling away the façade, I recognized that this persona that I had been living had ruined my life and wounded my soul. I had not yet developed true faith in Allah, but this is a young man I can have compassion for. This is a hard one for me to read.

Letter from Alim Braxton to Marie Braxton, December 9, 1997.

[December 9, 1997]

In the Name of Allah the Beneficent the Merciful

Dear Mama,

How are you? It was good to see you today. I’ve been wanting to see you so bad for the past few weeks but we couldn’t visit. There’s so much emotion inside. So many things I want to be known but can’t find the words to say. I’m really hurting inside Mama. Hurting like never before in my life. Right now I’m so unstable that I can’t think coherently. I’m unorganized, and out of order. I even find myself wanting a cigarette, a joint, a drink of wine something, anything to make the pain go away if only for a moment. I never knew I had so many tears, so much emotion. I’ve cried so much that I feel helpless. For so long I’ve been like a stone, rock solid, closed away from all emotion, hiding from it, afraid to face it. But for some reason the tears feel good Mama. It lets me know that I am a man, I am a human being, I’m not an animal, but I can feel and I can hurt and I can have remorse. God knows I have remorse. Why, why, why I ask myself. I am so sorry for all the pain I’ve caused. I’ve hurt so many people. You, Chris, Keisha. But not just my family. I’ve hurt other people’s families, Emmanuel Oguayo, Donald Bryant, Dwayne Caldwell. I never thought, I never even cared. But now that I’m faced with the realities of my own death, and how it affects everyone who cares for me, I can’t help but to feel the pain of all those families I’ve hurt. I’ve been so wrong. I’ve done so much evil, and hurt that it’s unbearable. What can I say, what can I do. I hate myself so much for all these cruel and senseless murders.

I am a murderer. Human lives, taken away for nothing. I often grieve because of the atrocities inflicted upon Blacks by whites, and it causes a rage in me Mama because it was evil. But how better am I to take away my own brother’s life? How can I point fingers when I have done the same thing? I’ll write later.

Look, I’m going to go. I’ll write later. I love you.

Love Always,

Jerome

Though I still had a long way to go, this letter shows my true soul trying to emerge. I am a murderer, but I am also more than that.

Five