Embracing Truth: Navigating Faith and Identity as LGBT+ (Abridged)

By Tony Churchill

Join Tony Churchill on an incredible journey. He's an awesome advocate, social adventurer, and truth-seeker. Get ready to dive into a fascinating memoir where Tony explores the complexities of identity, the joys and pains of love, and the amazing transformation that happens when you embrace your true self. Tony fearlessly challenges society's rules, blending together themes of LGBT+ freedom, unity among different faiths, and spiritual beliefs without the need for a higher power. His heartfelt writing and captivating stories light a fire inside readers, inspiring them to create a world built on acceptance, empathy, and a never-ending quest for truth. Come join the movement and help create a more caring and open-minded world. Let Tony's powerful tale lift you up!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tony Churchill
• Release date: Apr 4, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224688234

Tony Churchill

Tony invites readers on a transformative journey through the pages of his writings. With a unique blend of candid storytelling and thought-provoking insights, he skillfully navigates the intersections of faith, identity and equality, captivating hearts and minds alike. Through his engaging narratives and passion for interfaith spirituality and LGBT rights, Tony leaves an indelible mark, fostering connections and inspiring change in his quest for a more inclusive world.

Book preview

PART ONE: Getting There

Chapter 1

Harmonizing Myself: A Journey of Early Identity

Childhood:

I was born into a lively household with three older siblings. Kathy, the oldest, was a total brainiac. She was always buried in books, soaking up knowledge like candy. Seriously, she got straight A's and wowed everyone with her smarts and achievements. Then there were the twins, Gary and Larry, just a year younger than Kathy. They were crazy about sports and always stuck together, which kinda made me feel left out since they were already teenagers when I came along.

Early childhood was kind of like a rollercoaster ride. Dad was always missing in action, you know? It seemed like his work was his one true love, and we were just some background characters in his busy life. Mom, on the other hand, was always around, like ALL the time. She was loving, no doubt about it, but she could be a little overprotective, to put it mildly. If I wanted to go out and play, she'd put me in bubble wrap to make sure nothing happened to me.

Looking back, I realize that Mom was the biggest influence on us kids, like the puppet master pulling all the strings. And wow, were there some strings to pull! Their marriage was like a ship lost at sea, drifting further and further apart. But somehow, in the middle of all that turbulence, I was born. Yeah, it's like they thought having another kid would magically rekindle their fading flame. Classic move, right?

I tried my best to be the peacemaker in the family. When they started arguing, I'd jump in and try to break it up. But guess what? Instead of a hero's welcome, I got the cold shoulder and contemptuous glares. Apparently, I was the reason their marriage was prolonging this tumultuous existence. Thanks a lot, me!

Anyway, I really looked up to my siblings. Kathy was winning awards left and right for her brainpower, and the twins were collecting sports medals. It was inspiring but also kinda intimidating. I felt this pressure to be just as amazing as them, which was tough for a young me.

Out of all my siblings, I had the closest bond with Kathy. She treated me like a friend, even with all her achievements. She helped me with school stuff, played games with me, and listened when I needed to talk.

But even with our close relationship, I still felt like I didn't quite fit in. Mom's comments didn't help either. She'd say stuff like, Why can't you be good at something like your siblings? Ouch, that stung. I tried so hard to prove myself and stand out, but it seemed like I couldn't live up to my siblings' standards.

Things started looking up eventually. I found my passion in music and poured my heart and soul into it. I may not have been a genius or a sportster like my siblings, but I discovered my own talents, and that was more than enough. I started singing at church, which made my religious mom happy, and I found some cool friends she finally approved of. I stopped feeling like the baby of the family trying to catch up and became my own person, doing my own thing in this world. Then Jim came along, took Kathy away from me for Navy life in Hawaii, and left me feeling alone again.

After Kathy’s departure, Mom and Dad showered me with gifts. I mean, I was pretty much a loner, so toys became my best buddies. Action figures, a bike, stilts, a slip-n-slide, a go-cart... I had it all. All to myself, that is. It was like they were trying to buy my love or distract me from their constant battles. But, hey, I wasn't complaining; at least I had stuff to keep me entertained.

I was totally into music; it was my jam! But when it came to sports, oh boy, I was a total disaster. I mean, I sucked big time! And to top it off, I had to deal with some serious bullies. Ugh, not a fun time at all. I kinda felt like a bit of an outcast, you know? But hey, music was my refuge, and it got me through those tough times. It's amazing how something you're passionate about can make at least some difference!

A real turning point came when I hit the big double digits—ten years old in 1974! My parents decided to surprise me with a trampoline. Oh boy, that thing changed everything! It was like a portal to a whole new world. I mean, forget the toys; I had the coolest attraction in the neighborhood. Kids from all over started flocking to our place to jump and bounce. It was like having my very own social hub.

Suddenly, I wasn't that lonely kid anymore. I had new friends from the neighborhood, and even kids from school wanted to join in the fun. The trampoline became the epicenter of laughter and adventure. We'd play games, have sleepovers, and spend countless hours bouncing around like maniacs. It was pure joy!

Looking back, that trampoline was a symbol of hope and connection for me. It not only gave me a chance to make friends and have fun, but it also had a subtle effect on my parents' relationship... for a while. It wasn't a miraculous fix, mind you, but it brought some much-needed happiness into our lives. Life still had its ups and downs, but at least we had that trampoline, bouncing us through the rough patches and reminding us that happiness could be found in the simplest of things.

It was then that I also started to figure myself out better. I realized that I was gay and began understanding a part of me that I hadn’t for so long. But it felt like the world around me wasn't ready to accept it. The fear of rejection, ridicule, and social isolation pushed me further into hiding, burying my true self under layers of fear and denial.

Growing up in conservative Arkansas just added more challenges to the mix. It was a confusing journey, no doubt about it. The evangelical environment shaped the beliefs of those around me, including my deeply religious mom. She had strong opinions and little room for understanding those who didn't fit the norm. The struggle between my true self and the expectations of my family and society left me torn. I wanted my mother's approval, but I also wanted to be true to myself.

To fit in, I wore a mask of submission, hiding my true identity from the world. It protected me from potential harm, but it also felt like I was living a double life. I longed for acceptance and connection, finding solace in creative expressions like singing and playing the piano.

This struggle was just the beginning of a transformative journey. It led me to face my deepest fears. Despite challenges, I hoped that one day the world around me would change and accept me for who I was. As I navigated these early years, I struggled with my identity and the conservative values that surrounded me.

Chapter 2

Musical Adventures and a Double Life

Junior High:

Alright, so let's talk about junior high - that awkward time in every kid's life when you're trying to figure out who you are and where you fit in. For me, that's when my love for music really took off.

I remember picking up the trombone and thinking, Hey, this thing is kinda cool! So I joined the school band and started jamming out with other music nerds like me. But that wasn't enough to satisfy my musical cravings. I also started singing more frequently in church and even got involved in community musicals. Yeah, I know, it's a strange combo—church and musicals—but it was my thing.

Life got even busier when I joined the church's youth choir and we went on tour. I felt like a rockstar, traveling around and singing praises. It was exciting, to say the least.

But here's the thing: while I was all about the music and the church stuff, there was still the other side of me I was struggling with. I was a closeted gay youth, and dealing with that while being heavily involved in evangelism was no easy task. It was like living a double life.

I was all in with the church community, but at the same time, I was trying to come to terms with my true self. It was confusing as hell, and I didn't have a clue how to bridge that gap. So, I came up with some pretty bizarre ways to cope with it all.

One of my rather odd attempts at finding balance was telling guys I liked them