Hilarious Gay Man

By Rolly Ongco Pasilan

"International bestseller? More like an international okay-seller."

In "Hilarious Gay Man," readers are taken on a laugh-out-loud journey through the life of a witty and resilient protagonist. Ohana maintains an infectious sense of humor despite his battles with mental health issues and the challenges of living life as a gay man.

But just when life couldn't get any crazier, the pandemic hits, and our hero, or heroine, or whatever is forced to navigate a whole new set of challenges. From dealing with the awkwardness of dating to trying to maintain sanity while cooped up at home, Ohana manages to take things lightly and find humor in even the most dire situations.

With a sharp wit and an unflinching ability to find humor in the darkest of times, this book, which will have readers rolling in the aisles, is a hilarious and heartwarming reminder that even when life gets tough, laughter is always the best medicine.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rolly Ongco Pasilan
• Release date: Mar 29, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224133079

Rolly Ongco Pasilan

I taught in public and private schools in the Philippines for thirteen and three years respectively. I’m an author for erotic romance, erotic fantasy, YA, and children’s books. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Education, a Master’s Degree in Teaching Reading and 27 units in a PhD in English language. Aside from writing fantasy novels, I also serve as a ghostwriter and editor for Master’s theses or dissertation. I am a lecturer-adviser in campus journalism and been awarded as the National Champion Coach in Feature writing during the 2014 National Schools Press Conference in Subic, Zambales, Philippines.

Book preview

1

Chapter 1

Did you hear about the gossipers who fell down the stairs? It turns out, their mouths were moving faster than their feet!

I’m a girl in a boy’s body.

Bullied. Mocked. But God loves me. Yes, God loves me.

Absolutely, God loves me very much.

It’s another brand new day in Cebu City. The skies are dark in the early morning, and the wind sends me a chilling reminder that I have to face another day of mockery. I grin for I’m used to people’s inhumanity.

I’m standing at the doorway of my room which looks like a pig pen while watching my fellow tenants rush to and from the kitchen. One guy with boar ears gives me a seductive smile and a wink. I roll my eyes.

I pace outside, and a few women in their late twenties catch my eyes. They’re murmuring about something that I’m certain of – they talk about the thing which has burdened me since high school.

One of them says, Did you brush your teeth, Jen? Me? I do it three times a day or more." And they all guffaw while staring at me. I know I have foul breath, but I try my very best to freshen it. If they only knew – I’ve even purchased Dr. Harold Katz’s chlorine dioxide products just to get rid of my dragon breath.

The lady, who throws shit at me, walks with a mock smile on her face and slips on the floor.

Good for you.

I’m already riding on a three-wheeled vehicle called a tricycle in the Philippines when a woman with protruded eyes adds. How can he be gay with bad breath?

I jounce my head. How can she be mean when I don’t do anything vicious to her?

Is she Lucifer’s fucking mistress? I bet.

The driver starts the engine to roar, and an old lady behind me pats my shoulder.

Bless your heart, my dear, she says. Don’t mind them. They’re not worthy of your time.

I flash a sweet smile at her. An angel sent from above.

So how’s work? she asks.

Work is fine, I reply with gratitude in my voice.

Good.

Thanks.

My phone rings and my eyes scintillate. A guy whom I bedded ages ago has texted me. I rub my temple and bit my lip for I know his charm and massive tool can pacify my inner demons. Gosh.

See you. I’m already riding in a taxi.

See you in Jollibee, second floor, I reply.

I miss you,

I miss your cock.

He replies with a licking emoticon.

Flirty fucking stallion.

I tell the driver to drop me off at a nearby convenience store. I wave to the old lady, who looks like my grandmother.

I cross the street and enter the food chain restaurant. I order spaghetti, fried chicken with rice, glasses of Coke, and burgers.

I climb up to the second floor. My eyes wander for a good place for the two of us.

I find myself on the couch with fewer diners. I fix my crumpled red tee shirt paired with black jeans and sneakers.

I know I look great.

After eons of waiting for him, Raffy arrives, wearing a fitted black shirt and jeans. He looks more like a gigolo in his attire than a head-turning model. My boy, I bite my lower lip as I leer at his oh-damn-sexy body. His face has never aged. He still has captivating brown eyes that melt me like Hershey’s chocolate.

He winks at me, and my one-dollar bikini briefs lower.

How are you? Raffy asks as he sits down. I just gape at him, trying to remember how many times my tongue skidded on his bare chest. He clears his throat, and my sanity begins to resurface. You’ll have plenty of time to do that later.

I chuckle. I bet, and I’m good at it. I wink