WILLderness: Losing My Way to Find It: Surviving Deception, The Occult, & Heartbreak in the Fight for Purpose

By Leean Le and Leena Le

The search for purpose is a journey full of possibilities, adventure, and excitement, but it can also lead you down a path of confusion and put you at risk of danger and deception, if not rooted in a firm understanding of yourself and your beliefs. So many voices and influences in the world are competing

• Language: English
• Publisher: RevivLE Publications
• Release date: Dec 30, 2023
• ISBN: 9798218403997

Book preview

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Copyright © 2023 by Leean Le and Leena Le

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner. This work is based on the experiences of individuals. Every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the content.

WILLderness: Losing My Way to Find It

Book Cover by Leean Le

Editors: Emily Lisa T. and Christine Manka

Contents

1.Introduction

1. Leena, Leean

2.The Seed

2. Leena

3.Roots of Rejection

3. Leean

4.Fertile Ground: The Garden

4. Leean

5.Uprooted

5. Leean

6.Wilderness: The 24 Day Journey

6. Leena

7.Longing for An Answer

7. Leena

8.Roundabout Way Through the Wilderness

8. Leean

9.Way of Escape

9. Leean

10.Broken Heart, Broken Idolatry

10. Leean

11.Breakthrough

11. Leena

12.Rooted

12. Leean

13.The Truth That Set Us Free

13. Leena

14.Free At Last: Deliverance through Knowledge

14. Leean

15.Conclusion

15. Leean

Photos from the march

Resources and References

About The Authors

Introduction

Leena, Leean

Everything changed for me in the year 2020. Life as I knew it was called into question: COVID-19 shut the world down and the news of police brutality dominated the headlines once again, adding to the chapters of America’s long story of systematic oppression. Amid the chaos and uncertainty, I too found myself caught in suspense as the world held its breath. At 20 years old, I was at a serious crossroads of what I was going to do with my life. Would I continue down the path that my family of Vietnamese refugees pressured me to pursue: get a higher education, get married, and get a well-paying job, being the stereotypical docile Asian American woman, assimilating to society’s portrayal of us as model minorities, or was I going to live a life in pursuit of radical, societal change that I always wanted to live? Would I submit to family and societal expectations, or would I follow my heart and create my own way? I had to decide. All I knew was that my soul was restless for something more, and I couldn’t just continue with life as usual. I couldn’t just be a spectator anymore. I had to get my hands dirty if I wanted to be part of the change I wanted to see. Well, in 2020, the time seemed to be just right.

This is a true story of how I took a huge risk with my sister to pursue the radical, nontraditional life of advocacy and greater meaning that I longed for. This is the story about our experience marching 750 miles from Milwaukee, Wisconsin to Washington DC for the 57th Anniversary of the March on Washington over 24 days. It is an intense journey of hope and endurance, bigotry and hate, pain and trauma, and deception and disillusionment. It tested our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual endurance in ways we never thought were possible, a story of one of the greatest losses we’ve experienced in life and how our hope and trust were shattered. Only those who physically embarked on the journey with us can truly understand the level of deception and bitter disappointment we experienced after this journey. We never wanted to write this story because of all the shame, but we can no longer bury it beneath our subconsciousness. So, this book is to bring closure to what we went through, to put a period to our pain. And this book is for you, for those who watched the journey online or joined us for part of the way when we passed through your hometown or supported us with food or money, to share with you what exactly happened to the group of people who marched to DC. Everyone who marched has their own story about their experience, but we will share with you everything we experienced and witnessed to the best of our memories. Having been years removed from the experience, we have deeply reflected and received a lot of revelation and insight about this march. A lot of unusual things took place during the journey, and this book is dedicated to unpacking and exposing those events to bring clarity and put language to what transpired, especially because it felt like such a lost cause for me and my sister and for others who were a part of it. This story is so much bigger than just the march, and we will unravel the critical missing moments that complete the picture. Everyone will be anonymous in this story minus a few key individuals who we will have to name for the sake of context. Walk with us. -Leena

This book has two main goals: to bring healing and clarity to those who experienced this journey with me so that they can be released from the bondage of confusion. The other goal is to reach a generation who, much like me, is searching for belonging, meaning, and purpose in life---may your genuine seeking and searching never fall to manipulation and deception that detours you from your true destiny. I write my story so that you can learn from some of my own mistakes and give you tools to guard yourself from the traps of deception the world sets up for young people. I am fighting for you and your purpose. -Leean

*NOTE: Before we can begin to truly retrace our steps through this journey, we must provide some context of how we got there.

The Seed

Leena

Knowing your why is a critical guide for your actions and most of the time, major decisions aren’t made until you’re clear on the reason for your choice. When considering a huge challenge and risk like marching 750 miles over 24 days from Milwaukee, Wisconsin to Washington D.C. for the cause of Black Lives Matter, you need to be confident in your commitment. I had to know what I stood for and my beliefs for me to make such a major decision.

From a young age, social justice has always been a core value of mine, even though my family never raised me to have this value and was not socially or politically active. My childhood socialization and friendships instilled this value in me. Coming from a family of Vietnamese refugees, my parents had to work long hours to make sure they could provide, so I spent most of my childhood around my neighborhood friends and their family who influenced the principles I grew up to believe. Despite our different cultural backgrounds, they embraced and nurtured me the way I desired my family’s nurturing, nourishing me with Black love. While I am extremely grateful for the tireless effort and sacrifice of my family to provide stability and great privileges unheard of to many other refugee families, I also acknowledge that it was the time investment from my childhood friend’s family that was critical in shaping my worldview, especially growing up in the context of a hyper-segregated region of southeastern Wisconsin.

I wasn’t the best student in school because English was my second language and had to enroll as an ELL (English language learner) student. My parents couldn’t help me with my academics either because they never received an education beyond 8th grade in Vietnam and couldn’t pursue it further after relocating to the States after the Vietnam War because they were laser-focused on surviving. Nevertheless, succeeding in school was nonnegotiable because to them that was the ticket to success, so they invested much of their money into tutors and once they made enough money, enrolled me and my sister in predominantly white, private schools beginning in middle school and beyond to ensure we would not perform less than average. Because of the extreme poverty and suffering they experienced and the pain of losing their homeland to war, they did everything they could to reach or exceed the American Dream, and my sister and I were the chess pieces that had to win the game for them; losing was not an option.

History was one of my favorite subjects because I learn best through story-telling. While the method that’s taught in school is through memorization and much of the content is whitewashed and biased, I was always drawn to the Civil Rights era of history. Even though grade school textbooks only highlight big names like Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, and Malcolm X, I loved learning about how they lived radical