The Lost: Three Mothers to me, however I am Lost

By Najeeb Elias Saeed Haddad

The narrative of the novel plunges into the depths of a secret romantic relationship that resulted in the birth of an illegitimate child named Jalal. It follows the journey of Jalal’s life which is filled with difficulties and unpleasant events within his community that severely condemns illegitimate children. Interwoven within Jalal’s life is a dramatic tale of love. The novel explores and compares between the eastern and the western cultures and their influences on the individuals within the community, shedding light on the suffering of women and illegitimate children in the eastern cultures.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Mar 19, 2024
• ISBN: 9798369495148

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Copyright © 2024 by Najeeb Elias Saeed Haddad.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Rev. date: 03/07/2024

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Najeeb Elias Saeed Haddad

In addition to this work, the author has also published a book titled The Dark Traditions: Stories of the Middle East.

Najeeb Elias Haddad was born in 1939 in Kufrenjeh, a small town in the northern part of Jordan. After retiring, he began writing and has written several novels. Haddad has lived most of his life in the Middle East, but also spent 10 years in the USA and has been living in Australia for over 5 years.

Haddad had a successful career as a teacher and supervisor for English language teachers. Academically, Haddad obtained a Bachelor of English Language Literature in 1965 from Damascus University.

While Haddad was known for respecting culture and traditions, he had a critical view of certain societal trends. He was very popular and socially active in his area, often sought out as a mediator due to his well-known cultural wisdom and ability to make proper judgments. He was particularly sought after to mediate in situations where familial issues arose, especially when there was a clash between younger generations and their parents.

In addition to his work as a teacher and writer, Haddad was also socially and politically active and placed third in the Jordanian parliament elections in 1989.

CONTENTS

PART ONE

Naheel the Maid

Najla’s Cave

Odeh’s Son’s Anger

Rasha Giving Birth to Her Baby

Three Years Later

Fadel and Naheel the Maid Got Married

Twenty-Three Years Later

At Faris’s Office

The Wedding

Sheikh Alnawar

PART TWO

Jalal Migration

Jalal and Joe Family

An Ocean Rip

Claudette Ends Her Relationship with Michael

Jalal and Claudette

Jalal Returns to Jordan

Jalal’s Vist to His Parents’ House

Jalal’s Letter to His Mother

Faris Regretted His Behavior

Faris, Rasha and Rose Go To America

Characters

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PART ONE

NAHEEL THE MAID

N aheel was the youngest sibling in a family of three daughters and two boys. Her mother was a midwife and her father worked at a brick factory. She dropped out of high school like her sisters, based on her parent’s wishes, so she could work fulltime to help support her brothers’ education. Naheel and her two sisters worked in farms. They picked fruits and vegetables. Her parents cared that their sons complete their education but did not care about their daughters’ education. Since early childhood, Naheel noticed her parent’s discrimination, favoring their sons over their daughters, not only in education but in every aspect of their daily life, including what they ate, how they dressed and how they were treated. For example, the chicken thighs and the breast were for the boys leaving the wings and the neck for the girls. This intentional favoritism made the boys feel superior to their sisters who at their end felt inferior to their brothers. This discrimination did not bother Naheel’s two older sisters who considered it normal since most families in the town did the same. However, Naheel, the youngest daughter, did not like it. She always questioned this attitude and practice that many families followed, and found no good reason for it other than being a common practice and an awful tradition that ran from old generations to the next over the years. She felt that this inherited concept was unjust and was based on inequality that she opposed and refused and was determined to adopt a different attitude in her own life.

One day, a wealthy old man came forward to her family and asked for her hand, and offered her family a lot of money as a dowry, but she strongly refused despite her father’s wishes who tried to force her to marry the man but she still refused. So, her father brutally beat her, but this did not make her change her mind. She knew her Dad would spend her dowry on his favored sons. So, she protested to him saying: "you have sold my two sisters for good money, but this did not make any difference in our way of life. I still work for farmers, while your sons get to enjoy the money you have taken. I refuse to be treated as if I were a commodity even if this leads you to kill me. I do not mean to protest against your will or my mother’s will, who agrees with you, but I am just asking to have the right in life to make my own decision.

When her father saw her fierce insistence not to marry the old man, he left her alone and apologized to the man who blamed him for his weakness and his inability to tame his daughter into following the traditions. However, her father did not bother with what the old man said, as the money that Naheel made, through working in farms, was helpful in providing his son’s needs.

Through her work in farms, Naheel met a rich family. The man’s name was Raja and his wife was Najla. They had a son named Gassan and a daughter named Rasha. When this wealthy family noticed how energetic and well-mannered Naheel was, they offered her to work for them three days per week as a housekeeper. The rest of week she would be free to work wherever she liked. Naheel accepted their offer, and her father did not mind as the payment was excellent and tempting.

While working as a maid for the Raja family, Naheel met another rich family, an elderly man named Odeh and a young wife named Jawaher. They wanted her to help them in their housework as well for three days per week according to their need and offered her a wage that was not less than what she got from her work at Raja’s family. She agreed and divided her time between the two families.

A poor young man came forward to Naheel’s family and asked for her hand. She knew him as they worked together in the farms and fell in love with each other. He was about her age. This young man had nothing but an old room set up on a small basement and was surrounded by an old wooden fence with a gate that he would lock with a wooden latch when he came to bed at night. Despite her parent’s objection, Naheel agreed to marry this poor young man. Her father did not like the fact that this poor man was incapable of paying high dowry as he wanted. However, Naheel insisted on marrying him, not caring about her parent’s desires, who eventually agreed.

Naheel invited her female friends and women of her relatives for a goodbye party prior to her wedding following the traditions of her village. She planned an outside open party in her family’s big front yard. She got chairs, in addition to mattresses and wool throw rugs on the floor. She invited four young men from her relatives who were known to be skilled in playing different musical instruments such as the reeds, drums and flutes, and made sure to hire a photographer. She also invited her groom to be there and sit next to her in front of all the women in the party.

The party began shortly after sunset. The skies were clear on that summer day in that mountainous village that was known for its modest summers and beautiful summer breeze. The stars shone and twinkled like real jewels as they filled the infinite sky covering the horizon. In this amazing atmosphere, some young women kicked off the party dancing on the beautiful music rhythms, played by the young men. The women competed in dancing, swinging their bellies and bodies as they shook their shoulders and chests. All this was accompanied by non-stop clapping together with Zagareed (loud beautiful musical sound made by women moving their tongues rapidly) from the cheered audience who were over excited.

This dancing continued for a period of time till the music began to gradually fade away and the dancing of the girls began to fade until everything finally calmed down. The young women returned to their places to be replaced with another group who started another round of dancing. They started dancing quietly on soft music and as the tunes got faster and louder, their dancing got wilder and wilder. All of this took place while Naheel sat next to her groom enjoying talking with him at times and urging the girls to continue dancing and encouraging them by praise, thanks, and gratitude at other times. Finally, the music began to wobble again, and the dancing of the girls began to calm down until everything calmed down. This was followed by serving refreshing drinks served with cups of various shapes and colors accompanied by dishes filled with colorful pieces of cake, modest dessert, and some fruit. After eating, drinking, and relaxing a short while, one of the young women stood up and said with a loud voice, Now, based on the will of all women, we ask the bride to dance. Loud noise, chanting and applause were in support of this demand.

Naheel stood up wearing a long loose-fitting dress that revealed half of her back and half her full chest. She, smiling, stepped forward. Some successive drops of tears fell down her cheeks. She stayed so for a short while. The women and the girls looked at her and waited impatiently for her to speak before starting to dance. Finally, she opened her mouth and said:

It’s the tears of saying Goodbye

The smile of Welcome!

It is the joy of victory!

Then she pointed to the young men to start playing dancing music. As the music started, Naheel began to dance showing off her beautiful tall body, rocking her middle and swaying her concave belly, while shaking her shoulders and full breast, as she moved quickly and lightly on her thin legs like a bird, charming whoever laid an eye on her. She appeared alluring, like a beautiful sketch drawn by a giant artist, or as if though she was a speaking legendary piece of art. Naheel continued to dance, blowing off the minds with her quick magical moves till the music weaned off. Then the loud cheers filled the place asking Naheel to continue to dance, a matter that she was up to and kept going till she was too tired to continue to dance. She then nodded greeting the audience. As Naheel was done with that she heard one of her friends asking her to sing, let us hear you, sing, we want to hear your voice. Her friends knew that Naheel had a beautiful warm voice as they used to listen to her singing with her friends in the fields. Naheel responded to the request with pleasure. She came closer to her bridegroom, stood in front of him, and pointed to the young people to play an old folk song. She started to sing addressing her groom:

Yahowedalak, Yahowedalak, Yahowedalak, Yahowedalen

        Your hell would be better than my parent’s heaven

Yahowedalak, Yahowedalak, Yahowedalak, Yahowedalen

        Your hell would be better than my parent’s heaven

And then she asked the women to repeat after her and they did. Then, she added verses of her own creation and resumed singing:

Yahowedalak, Yahowedalak, Yahowedalak, Yahowedalen

        I choose your Hell over my parent’s heaven

        Breasts and thighs will be for men and women

Yahowedalak, Yahowedalak, Yahowedalak, Yahowedalen

        Your hell is better than my parent’s heaven

        Our kids will equally share the chicken

Yahowedalak, Yahowedalak, Yahowedalak, Yahowedalen

        Breasts and thighs will be for men and women

        The remains will go for your dog and my kitten

Yahowedalak, Yahowedalak, Yahowedalak, Yahowedalen

        Your hell is better than my parent’s heaven

        Not bound by gender, no bias for men or women

(Yahowedalak means: You are my love) It is Syriac language)

She repeatedly sang this over and over. After she was done, the music became quiet and the audience cheered loudly asking Naheel to carry on, but Naheel asked them for silence. Everyone stopped cheering, and there was a moment of silence where only the sound of the nightly breeze could be heard. Then Naheel stepped forward and said: I am Naheel, the housekeeper who is proud of her profession, honored with her work, satisfied with her reality who preserved her dignity and refused to be sold. My father sold his eldest daughter to her husband and did the same with his second daughter and kept the money to spend it on his sons who have now completed high school and joined college. Then, it was my turn to be sold to an old rich man of my father’s age, but I refused. My Dad repeatedly beat me to force this marriage upon me, but this did not move me, after which he gave up on me. He takes my wages from housekeeping and working in farms to fulfil his sons’ needs. Isn’t it enough that they get to keep all inheritance at the end while we get nothing? Isn’t it enough that my brothers got to eat the breasts and thighs while we ate the wings and necks? Isn’t it enough that they took our wages and controlled what we could eat and drink, that they now want to decide our future as well? Undoubtedly, it is too much. When this man, (pointing to her fiancé), came forward to ask for my hand, my Dad initially refused because he had no money to pay him as my price. But I was determined to accept him. My Dad and all men alike should understand that a woman is not a goat that they can sell and buy. I am a human. I marry to live in dignity and not to be owned like a slave. How am I going to feel equal to my husband if he paid to whoever sold me? I do not want a husband who thinks he does me a favor by marrying me. I would rather stay as a free housekeeper and equally share the good and the bad with my husband than be a lady who would blindly obey the commands of whoever paid her price.

Cheers and loud applause from the audience followed her speech. After that she went back and sat next to her groom.

The party lasted until midnight. Naheel stood up and thanked all the attendees and re-invited them to attend her wedding the next day at the church of the town. Then they all begged her farewell and left.

The photographer, who filmed the party, was a nosey young man. He knew a very wealthy young guy in the town, with whom he had a superficial friendship. He thought he could get some money from this rich fellow by introducing him to Naheel. He had no doubt the young man would be impressed by her beauty. Right, at the end of the party, he went over to this rich man’s house and knocked on his door. The man had not gone to bed yet. So, he let him in and then asked him: What brought you now at this late time? There has to be something very significant going on.

The photographer replied: This is something of interest to you that could not wait till the morning."

The young man curiously said: Something of interest to me! What is it?

Photographer: I was just filming a bride’s goodbye party.

Young man: What do I have to do with this?

Photographer: The bride I saw tonight. I have never seen such a beauty. I think she is only good for you.

The young man: I just heard you say that she is a bride and that the party was her farewell party.

Photographer: Yes, but her bridegroom is a poor and destitute young man, and if you tempt him with money, he will give her up to you.

Young man: Are you sure?

Photographer: Try it, if he agreed, you would be a big winner. There is no such woman like the bride: beauty, intelligence and liveliness.

The young man: What woman with all those qualities would agree to marry such a poor man? She must be poorer than him.

Photographer: Yes, she is poor. She works as a housekeeper.

Young man: What in the world! You want me to marry a housekeeper? I am the son of Mr. Marzook Basha (Basha is a high rank in society). This is impossible! She is not of my social class.

Photographer: When you see her dancing and hear her singing, you will forget all about the difference in social classes.

Young man: Really, you made me curious? How can I see her?

Photographer: I have filmed the whole party. Let me show you. You will see her dancing and hear her singing.

Within a few minutes the video of the party started playing on the TV monitor in front of them. The young man saw Naheel dancing. He was charmed by her beauty and taken by her lively moves. Then he heard her magnificent voice. He could not believe what he had just seen and heard. His heart beat fast and strong at her sight that he forgot being the son of Mr. Marzook Basha, and that she was only a housekeeper. Then he said: Is there such a woman in our village? Do poor people have such jewels? Does this sparkling pearl work as a housekeeper?

Photographer: Yes, and she is known as Naheel the maid.

Young man: Are you sure that her groom will give her up for a sum of money?

Photographer: Why not? He is very poor and money can do miracles.

The young man: If her groom agrees to give her up, would she agree to swap him for another man?

Photographer: If the alternative is the son of Marzook Pasha, why would she object? She would be delighted and grateful as well. I am pretty sure that her father will encourage her to swap a poor groom with a rich one.

Young man: Would you go with me tomorrow morning to see the groom and negotiate a deal with him?

Photographer: Yes, this is what I came here for.

The next morning the young man accompanied the photographer and they both went to the groom’s house. After sitting down, the photographer introduced the young man and said: This young man is the son of Marzook Basha. He came to talk to you about a very important subject.

Groom: I have the honor to be visited by the son of Marzook Basha.

The young man: I learned that Naheel the maid will marry you tonight.

Groom: Yes, that’s right.

Young man: I came to offer you whatever money you ask for to give her up to me.

The groom (laughing): Does a man sell himself for money.

Photographer (to the groom): It is a very precious opportunity for you to get rid of your poverty, do not miss it, and with money you can get married at any time you like. If I were you, I wouldn’t have hesitated for a moment to accept this offer.

Young man: Ask for the amount you want and do not hesitate.

Groom: You ask for the impossible. I gave my soul to Naheel and would die for her. She is the real wealth, and the real fortune.

Young man: I advise you to agree and win what I offer you before I go to Naheel and convince her to give you up, and then you will get nothing.

Groom: You don’t know Naheel, she will not give me up for someone else.

Young man: You say that, but money will make her abandon you.

Groom: Go to Naheel and show her what you offered me, if she accepts, I want nothing from you.

Photographer: Do not be stubborn, otherwise you will lose both Naheel and the money.

Groom: Please leave immediately, I do not want to talk more about this subject.

The young man and the photographer left for the house of Naheel’s father who welcomed them inside and seated them in the guest room, which was a small room with some old poor furniture.

The young man began talking to Naheel’s father and said, "I am Marzook Basha’s son, and everyone in this town knows my father ... I know that your daughter Naheel is to be wedded tonight to a very poor man and that means she would live in poverty all her life. I am asking you to stop this marriage, as I am willing to have her as my wife, and I’m ready to give you all the money you ask for.

Naheel’s father took a deep breath and said, "Listen, young man, my daughter Naheel is a very stubborn girl and it is not easy to convince her of anything she does not like. I cannot impose anything on her. She does not allow anyone to interfere with any matter that concerns her.

Young man: You are her father and you can force her if she refuses.

Father: I tried to arrange a marriage for her to one of the richest men of this town but she refused.

Young man: Who is he?

Father: Sheikh Assaf (Sheikh is used to describe men in middle to old ages.)

The young man: She has the right to reject him. He is an elderly Sheikh who is not fit for her, but I am her age, and this may make her agree. Let’s talk to her about this.

Photographer: Remember, Sheik, that this young man is the son of Marzook Basha, and will pay you the dowry you ask for.

In the meantime, Naheel was preparing for her wedding day. Her father called her in and she came, greeted them and sat with them. She had her hair spread on her shoulders all the way down and covered her entire back. When the young man saw her attractive tall figure, her beautiful skin, in addition to her shy looks, he felt so attracted to her that he addressed her, saying: Do you know Marzook Basha, Miss Naheel?

Naheel: Yes, I know him, and everyone in this town knows him.

Young man: I am his son. I have come here to propose to you. I want you to be my wife.

Naheel: Your companion, this photographer, knows that I will be wedded to my groom tonight, and he videotaped my goodbye party last night. Didn’t he tell you that?

Photographer: I am the one who brought this young man to you to save you from poverty and need that you will end up with if you marry that poor young man.

Young man: I will give you all you want of gold, diamonds, and jewelry, and I will pay your father all the money he asks for if you leave that poor man and accept me as a groom for you instead of him.

Naheel (smiling): How much will you pay to my father?

Young man: I will pay him the amount he asks for.

Naheel: Are you a dealer?

Young man: Yes, I sometimes do some trade with my father.

Naheel: Is human trade part of your trade?

Young man: What do you mean?

Naheel: Have you ever bought a human being before?

Young man: Are humans bought and sold?

Naheel: You better ask yourself this question.

Young man: It is the first time that I hear of human trade.

Naheel: How come you have not heard of it and you practice it?

Young man: No, I do not deal with this kind of trade. What do you mean?

Naheel: What is this supposed to be then? You want to pay money for my father as my price. Doesn’t that mean you want to buy me from my father? Is this not human trading?

Young man: I want you to be my wife.

Naheel: If you pay for something then you own it and it would be part of your belongings. I love my groom and he loves me, and love is priceless. I cannot be owned.

Young man: I do not understand what you mean.

Naheel: I’m not for sale to those who pay more. I am not subject to an auction. What is bought or sold among the living creatures are animals and birds and I neither of those.

The young man (confused): I have no intention to buy you.

Naheel: Do you think that your wealth makes you a man better than the poor young man I love and who will marry me tonight?

Young man: I did not say that.

Naheel: What is the meaning of this behavior?

Young man: A groom marries by paying a dowry to his bride’s father. I am ready to pay your father the dowry he asks me for.

Naheel: Do wealthy men who wish to marry stop the marriage of others else to replace them on their wedding day?

Young man: I know that your groom did not pay anything to your father.

Naheel: That is exactly what made me insist on accepting him. He did