Sam the Balance Bringer; A Really Loud Tutorial: Tales From Archeleon's Willow

By Kouta

Sam is like the coffee he drinks, with a splash of alcohol, heavily caffeinated and too hot to handle. Though he does have a serene side and genuine appreciation for life, love, and nature, if you’re not a fan of loud music, obnoxious people, and constant trouble, he may not be the war elf for you. On a dying world stuck in an endless winter, Sam discovers an egotistical Sorcerer (Ethan) leading an elderly witch (Agatha) on a hunt for a weakened wyvern, abusing a poor mechanical orphan along the way. The elf is taken off his long-term mission on a race to the wyvern’s aid, hoping to save her before Ethan and Agatha can kill the beast and use her corpse for the selfish desire of acquiring more power.
But one turn leads to unseen curves Sam wasn’t prepared for, now the lives of him and his friends, old and new, are in danger, and the only one capable of winning the day is him. Will he crack under pressure or pull himself together in time to keep the peace? I won’t say here, read the book and find out!
CHECK THIS!
Rated M
This book deals with lots of swearing, murder, and minor gore. Make sure you can handle these subjects before reading; thank you and enjoy.
-Creator

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jan 25, 2024
• ISBN: 9781304672216

Book preview

Sam the Balance Bringer;

A Loud Tutorial

Written by Kouta

Copyright © 2017

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-304-67221-6

CONTENTS

Archeleon and Their Willow

Once flourishing with life and prosperity, an Earth, Jupiter's size, fell into war and ruin after a battle between cosmic beings obliterated the balance between good and evil. A blast destroyed the re-shaped Milky Way galaxy and nearly eliminated all possible life. 

But Creator, the universe given a human form to travel space, was able to save it all. Saddened by what became of their favorite galaxy, the Creator cried out the Ocean of Forever Reaching Waves. It stretched from one end of the ever-expanding universe to the other with an endless bottom. The Creator punished those who destroyed their work, relishing their infinite pain and suffering but feeling empty nonetheless. 

After what felt like over a hundred thousand years of torturing those who ruined what the universe made, old friends came to give their condolences. Meeting their greatest allies who wanted to cheer them up, Creator was struck with inspiration. They desired to remake their galaxy, but better, bigger, and far more amusing. After telling the friends, Archeleon asked to take on the burden of looking after the new galaxy. The Creator was pleased with the request and offered the Ocean of Forever Reaching Waves to be Archeleon’s home. The energy which composed the ocean had infinite power and would keep Archeleon alive and well for many, many eons. 

As Archeleon took to the cosmic sea, the Creator used their power to make a willow tree sprout from the turtle’s shell. There is no real-time in space, which I know is confusing since I technically used time terms, so I can’t say how long this really took. When the Creator was done, a willow tree of galactic proportions grew from Archeleon’s back. 

Archeleon’s shell grew as wide as your Milky Way Galaxy; the tree stood taller than anyone could measure. The colorful leaves were filled with stars, suns, and moons blooming to grace the worlds with life. The worlds grew from the trees on vines with atmospheres made of cosmic energy from the tree itself. 

The Creator filled the tree with sentient life once more, then ‘disappeared,’ excited to see what stories come from their newest creation. Their friend, the cosmic space entity of protection Archeleon, happy to protect their new Willow Tree forever.

Chapter 1; Sam is Sam!

The crunching of dead leaves on the sidewalk as a foot stepped down on them. The sharp sting of the chilly winter air as it rushed up his nostrils. The cloudy grey sky hiding the two dimming suns. Sam felt peaceful as he looked around the abandoned city. So quiet. He whispered while walking away from a ruined children’s library. Sam can’t wait to ruin it.

Sam joked as he continued down the sidewalk. Sam was a short, hairy male war-elf with one bright blue eye and an eyepatch. His round head had a short mustache and beard combo connected to his long, messy brown faux-hawk. Sam was thin and muscular with a knitted green, red, and black hooded jumper that had a pocket pouch, his hood had unique pockets for his very tall and pointed ears. Sam let out a warm breath to see in the cold atmosphere. Ain’t it a great fucking day? Sam spoke with an Irish accent to his hidden companion. Sam knows it’s cold, but that’s what makes it mysterious lookin’.

Well, you’re too damn pessimistic, Sam shouted at his hidden friend. Now, unless you’re gonna soak in the sweetness of this scene, piss off so Sam can get transcendental ya cunt. Sam’s high-pitched voice rang through the empty city; he wasn’t angry but very loud. Sam couldn’t sit still as he walked haphazardly through the cold climate. Sam hoped to investigate a specific building, but Clearpike Library was already a pile of rubble before the elf arrived.

Guess Sam will have to look elsewhere in this winter-woven-wonder-world. He said out loud. Sam held up his right arm to show nothing but bone. Sam’s glad his right arm doesn’t get cold anymore.

Something began slithering up his sleeve; a second later, a tiny head popped out with one eye and a small mouth; this was Seán, the parasite. It was snake-like but with oily skin instead of scales. The parasite connected to Sam’s nerves, bones, and organs. Only the war-elf could hear what the green creature had to say.

Sam thinks Seán needs to learn to relax. Sam rolled his left eye at the soul-parasite. Sam knew what the critter wanted to say from a bond they shared. And get off Sam’s jerking arm! Seán rolled his one eye and disappeared.

Seán popped out from under Sam’s eyepatch. Seán was facing Sam’s other eye but then turned to his left hand, which still had plenty of hairy skin.

Sam stopped walking and furrowed his prominent bushy brow. It’s not like Sam’s usin’ that socket for anythin’, now is he!? And you don’t know how to pitch a tent, so don’t act all up in arms and mind your own life, ya shithead! Sam and Seán laughed before the parasite returned to Sam’s skull. Alright, how ‘bout a compromise?

Sam put out his right leg and stretched it till it with a grunt. I wanna sightsee, you wanna train. Sam switched legs as Seán caught on. Why not both? Let’s sightsee while training.

Seán consented and focused on Sam’s nervous system, from the brain to his toes. Then reached into Sam’s soul gem, the part of a person’s soul that gives abilities. A hardened bone-like physical manifestation of it anyway, the actual gem is in the soul in a separate dimension. The heart-shaped gemstone in Sam’s chest allowed Seán to connect to the soul.

Once Seán connected to it, the duo felt its power rushing through their combined person. Whooo! Like havin’ a fresh pot of coffee after some rockin’ shower sex! Sam got down on one knee. Let’s see what limits Sam can reach today! Sam took off like an Olympic runner, then slid like an ice skater with green energy on the bottom of his shoes.

This is Sam’s first ability, Soul-Skate. The green energy on Sam's feet keeps him an inch off the ground so he could skate like a pro. This lets Sam hover above ground or water and slide without losing momentum. Soul Skate also grants Sam his secondary ability; Multi-Jump. The energy on Sam’s feet can propel him with a burst of energy so he can jump one or two more times while in air.

Seán controlled the abilities for Sam, leaving him to focus on himself. Seán didn’t need to look out of the skull to see or feel the breeze. Everything Sam experienced, Seán did too. The air blowing through Sam’s faux-hawk. The sliding of his feet before leaping into the air, the rush of adrenaline coursing through him.

Sam landed on a tireless car’s hood and jumped towards a crooked street lamp, then spun around it before flinging himself to the nearest skyscraper. When Sam’s shoes made contact with the building, the energy kept him attached as Sam ran across the outside wall. Sam hollered again and jumped down to the frosty road so he could keep skating across the street.

After a while, Sam stopped and stared at the tallest building in the vicinity. Sam wants to run up it. The parasitic voice inside said not to, but Sam ignored Seán. Sam must face his fears!

Sam reached into his hood and tapped the touch screens on his ear-gauges. After a few seconds, heavy metal started blasting into his ears. Whoo! Sam’s gonna jump it! Sam kneeled down, Seán charged Sam's heels with the little amount of soul energy left in the area.

BAM! A burst of energy sent Sam zooming across the road to what could be