The Lake at Nunsmere

By Douglas Trethewy

You may think you are finished with the past, but that does not mean that the past is finished with you.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Douglas Trethewy
• Release date: Dec 1, 2023
• ISBN: 9781916981232

Book preview

The Lake at Nunsmere

Douglas Trethewy

Copyright © 2023 Douglas Trethewy

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof in any form. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored, in any form or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical without the express written permission of the author.

ISBN: 978-1-916981-23-2

Ebook edition

Contents

CHAPTER 1: Summer’s End

CHAPTER 2: New Beginnings

CHAPTER 3: The Wakening

CHAPTER 4: Passion

CHAPTER 5: Escape to Libya

CHAPTER 6: Grand Plans

CHAPTER 7: Turmoil

CHAPTER 8: Bernadette de Lourdes

CHAPTER 9: Cherry Avenue

CHAPTER 10: Crossroads

CHAPTER 11: Return to Nunsmere

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Cherry

CHAPTER 1

Summer’s End

It would be difficult to imagine a more peaceful scene than here at Nunsmere, on a late summer’s day in the heart of the Cheshire countryside. The sun had bathed this beautiful place for many hours, its warmth still lingering before its inevitable retreat in the face of an evening chill. All was calm down by the lake, and not a breath of wind disturbed the trees. The gentle hum of the insects flitting randomly across the water seemed only to enhance the quiet.

I stood at the water’s edge and stared intently across the lake, my mind racing. Despite considerable success and a comfortable life, I had finally come to accept that I had lived a lie for much of my adult life – and the truth behind that lie was buried right here, beneath the dark waters of the lake at Nunsmere. That was a reality I could no longer escape. The beauty of that peaceful scene barely registered in my mind, for Nunsmere was much more than a beautiful place to me.

I was living this moment with an intensity that I was not prepared to share with the rest of the world. I had become adept at hiding my feelings over the years, and my features remained stubbornly impassive. The only evidence of emotion was a slight moistness in my eyes, but I stood alone at the edge of the lake, and no one would witness even this meagre betrayal of my intense loneliness.

It was more than 20 years since I had last stood on this spot by the lake, but the memories came flooding back so readily – and the emotion was still raw. I had been a young man back then, angry and frustrated, my life in turmoil. The anger and frustration were gone now, replaced by a deep longing that had come to me – suddenly and uninvited – in the spring of the previous year. And that deep longing had taken me on an incredible journey that had eventually brought me back to Nunsmere on this late summer’s afternoon.

I will never forget that tormented evening so long ago. Unable to accept what was happening I had buried my pain beneath these murky waters. I could remember the exact spot quite clearly, and I stared intently at it now – right over there in that dark corner by the tall reeds. That was where I had shed my burden of love.

What was the point of sharing life so intensely with someone, of being so intimate, of spending every minute of every day with them, of dreaming about a future together? What was the point of any of it, if that someone deserts you and you find yourself alone to just get on with it – whatever ‘it’ was destined to be?

Never again!

On that distant evening, here by the lake, I consciously hardened my heart. I resolved that no one would get so close to me again – I would never allow myself to become vulnerable, not in the way I had been with Cherry.

Back in that summer, we had lived together for a while in Nunsmere Hall, the imposing building just a short distance behind me. It had been a rambling and shabby old country mansion in those days, in desperate need of repair. But at some time during the intervening years, the old Hall had been greatly extended and renovated. It was now a beautiful and modern hotel, surrounded by woodland, with the lake on three sides.

But this transformation was not uppermost in my mind. Twenty years may seem like a large part of a lifetime, but not for me, not here in this place. For me time stood still at Nunsmere Hall. This was my crossroads – this was where I was destined to return, no matter how many roads I travelled.

I lingered by the lake, reluctant to turn away, and just let the whole familiar scene wash over me. When my gaze returned to that dark corner by the tall reeds, I became aware that my heart was pounding in my chest – and that felt good.

After a time, I began to relax, my mind clearing and my heartbeats calming. I tried to focus my thoughts. My life over the past two decades – the life I had lived with such purpose – was of little consequence in this place. But still, I let my mind drift back to the time when my relationship with Cherry was finally over, and I found myself alone in a damp and unfamiliar city called Manchester.

CHAPTER 2

New Beginnings

I had felt the need to return north to my native Scotland, to spend a couple of days with my parents, before starting a new job in Manchester. Perhaps going back to my roots would help me come to terms with the loss of Cherry; perhaps I could put recent events in my life into clearer perspective; perhaps I could look forward to the future with a more positive attitude; perhaps…

But it hadn’t made the slightest bit of difference. On the drive back south the previous evening, I had deliberately suppressed all thoughts of those recent events, and coaxed my mind into a kind of neutral slumber. But now, as I drove my old Land Rover into the unfamiliar car park of the unfamiliar office block, I had to prepare myself mentally to tackle this new job. I had to begin making a new life for myself – starting right here, today.

I was under no illusion – my relationship with Cherry had been intense and exciting, and now I was feeling lonely and vulnerable. But through my hurt I was able to appreciate the fact that I was still young, and that I had time to build a meaningful life.

In my mind I drew out a clean sheet of paper.

‘I’m anonymous here in Manchester. I don’t know anyone, and no one knows me. And that suits me just fine – I won’t have any uncomfortable questions to answer.’ I walked through the wide doors of the unfamiliar office block.

New beginnings…

***

My new boss was a fellow Scot - John. We had a brief chat in his office, where he gave me an outline of the IT department and how I would fit in.

He had a copy of my CV in front of him.

‘Your experience is ideal for the project we’re just starting,’ he said ‘but I notice