We Could've Been

By Scarlett Miller

Vivienne Leblanc seems to have it all. She is absolutely stunning, smart, and driven to turn her fantastic job as a Music Marketing Director into her true career as a singer. She lives in a gorgeous New Orleans home with her childhood sweetheart and fiancé, Malik McKenna,

• Language: English
• Publisher: NOLA Expressions Publishing, LLC
• Release date: Feb 7, 2024
• ISBN: 9798869183071

Book preview

Preface

Check out the playlist for the book on my linktree. Songs are mentioned or inspired by this book.

One

Chapter 1

Vivienne surveyed her reflection in the bathroom mirror, exhaling deeply as she studied herself. She examined her features, though she wasn’t exactly sure who she was seeing anymore. The gleaming lights around the mirror illuminated every inch of her russet, reddish-brown complexion. Her shoulder-length auburn-colored hair seemed to radiate as it hung loose and wild around her freshly washed face. Her skin still bore the flush from the muggy heat of the shower. She touched her face and then moved her hands to push the loose spirals off her apple cheeks.

Vivienne’s eyes seemed darker now than they usually were. They would typically beam a combination of green, gold, and brown, but the eyes staring back at her were monotonous at the moment. It was undoubtedly because of all the tears she’d cried all night—enough to drown out the light in her eyes. The girl in the mirror resembled her. She had no doubt it was indeed her, of course. But also, this was not who she was.

Throwing her hands in the air, she released a frustrated growl as she pulled her phone from the other end of the counter. Vivienne thought that if she held a tight enough grip on it, she could keep it steady. This was the problem; she was holding on to something too tightly, and just like the phone, it was secure for only a moment before it still fumbled in her hands.

Vivienne needed to relax. She took a deep breath, waving her hands as if to direct the breath as it flowed out of her lungs. Once she finished, she opened her music app to calm her nerves.

Music always did something for her. It had always instantly changed her mood, elevating it or helping her to wallow in whatever her feelings were at that moment. She’d spent her whole life consumed with music in one way or another, wrapped up in the emotions it gave not just to her, but almost everyone. People bookmark their lives with music and songs. A class song can bind classmates for years. When they hear it played randomly on the radio ten years after their forgotten graduation, they suddenly remember Friday night football games, first kisses by lockers and bleachers, first heartbreaks, and friendships they thought they’d hold on to forever. The music selected for a wedding, from the song a bride marches out to, the couple’s first dance, and finally, the second-line music they choose to send their guests out to—those musical selections will be branded in the minds and hearts of the newlyweds, their friends, and family. Music is just as important as pictures when it comes to memories. Music is powerful and therapeutic. Vivienne always used it as her personal brand of therapy. It started with her dancing and singing as a child to every single Disney movie soundtrack ever made. It had led her to now. Both her career and personal life had been immersed in music.

She was the Marketing Director for one of the most popular New Orleans live music venues, Le Venue. Vivienne regularly heard live music by not only famous artists like Jazmine Sullivan, SIR, and Musiq Soulchild but also undiscovered artists. She loved that she could possibly be a part of making someone’s dream come true! Hell! She was an undiscovered artist too. She wanted all their dreams to come true.

But at that particular moment, she needed to occupy her mind. Vivienne was trying to think of something she could play that would distract her. She needed to keep her mind from idly wandering. She stared at the playlist as she scrolled. Vivienne groaned in aggravation.

Hey Siri, play something I like.

Siri responded by saying this was a special playlist, just for Vivienne. The melody for Summer Walker’s Karma came on. She smiled as she began singing along, placing her phone on the counter. Vivienne sang the words as they spoke to her on a personal level. She picked up the bottle of hand sanitizer next to it as she pretended the bottle was a microphone.

How does someone expect to keep playing games with someone and expect to never feel the repercussions of their actions?

As she sang from the perspective of Karma about doing her job and getting her lick back, Vivienne’s eyes shot down to her phone as it vibrated with a message. The aggressive motion against the granite counter top was causing it to shuffle across and away from her. Vivienne diverted her eyes away from it as fast as she could think to move. She’d coached herself on what to do to actively ignore the messages coming through on her phone.

She’d been avoiding responding. Because if she responded, she was going to do something that she shouldn’t. Not tonight. A lone tear fell from her hazel eye. Vivienne quickly wiped it away, refocused on her reflection, and continued to sing along, swaying to the beat of the music. She wasn’t getting caught in any additional drama.

The phone continued its consistent motion across the countertop. Vivienne took in a deep breath, only releasing it so that she could belt out the crescendo portion of the song. Vivienne sang the song to herself and wondered if she was getting her karma or serving it.

Viv?

She swung around on her bare heels like Michael Jackson, shrieking and throwing the sanitizer bottle out of her hand and directly at the head of the person in her house. His hand instinctively blocked it as he ducked and immediately grabbed her around the waist.

Vivienne? What the fuck?

Breathless, she stared up at Caine.

Fuck! Caine was who she’d been avoiding. He’d been calling her phone for most of the night. He and Malik had been incessantly trying to reach her. Well, at least after the social media explosion that made Vivienne go cry her eyes out in the hot shower for over an hour.

Caine was her fiancé Malik’s best friend, as well as his musical artist. In turn, that also made him her best friend too , or the closest she had to one. Malik was currently out of town in Atlanta for a promotional event. As an A&R Director of a major label, he was always on business. Hence, that’s how Caine got inside; he has keys to everything for Malik to check on things for him. Malik trusted him with their home. He trusted Caine with his future wife. Caine was his right-hand man. But, Malik didn’t know that Caine had begun checking in on her… Not like this. Not by his request, but on his own.

She wasn’t even sure Malik cared anymore anyway. Cared was the wrong word. He wasn’t concerned. That’s a completely different thing.

Malik was out with his new artist, Lyric. No last name. Like she was Madonna or Prince. Every time Vivienne said or thought of her name, she rolled her eyes. Lyric was a rapper/singer riding the Nikki, Meg, and Cardi wave of feminism in rap right now. She’d gotten enough sponsors to pay for the BBL that she was convinced would send her career soaring even if no one liked her music.

Vivienne had to admit that Lyric was talented; however, her current talent seemed to be catered specifically to Malik. It didn’t take Vivienne long to find out what was going on between the two of them. The late nights were the obvious red flag, but she and Malik always kept late hours. It was the nature of their work.

The real red flag was something in Malik’s attitude that shifted. His energy was different around her and around Lyric. He was moving differently. His work took him away more and more. He was out longer at night than usual. He talked less and less about his work and trips. He was alienating Vivienne and even Caine, whom he was supposed to be actively working with just like Lyric. He said she’d been tripping and being paranoid.

Then tonight, pictures of Malik and Lyric cuddled up and allegedly kissing were on every blog and entertainment site. B. Scott, Shade Room, TMZ, and now the TikTok and Instagram bloggers were going in on their relationship, not just Lyric and Malik, but Malik and Vivienne.

Malik and Vivienne had been together since their freshman year of high school. They were both born and raised in New Orleans, LA. Her parents had sent her to all-girl private schools from elementary up until then. She had been so excited to be in school with boys. It didn’t matter much. No other boy ever had a chance with her.

She remembered that first day when she went out on the field for gym class. Her eyes were drawn to the sight of him on the track field, running as if he was auditioning to be The Flash or Black Beauty, the fastest and most handsome of the bunch.

The way he ran was as elegant as an equestrian gallop. He was only fourteen and already six feet tall. As time went on over the next year, he’d only grow another 3 inches. His growth spurt stayed there at that height. His skin, though shiny with sweat from running, still looked as smooth as black velvet and as slick as oil. The way the sun seemed to shine down on him, following his stride as he made his way around that track and straight into her heart.

Vivienne’s eyes stayed locked on him as he continued. When he completed his laps, he turned his head, laying his large brown eyes on her. He smiled, showing a beautiful set of perfect white teeth. Vivienne smiled in return.

That was it.

Immediately, it was game over for both of them.

Vivienne’s memory of that moment used to end there. However, more recently, she remembered a different detail of that significant event that she hadn’t paid attention to before. That same day on the track, on Malik’s right and right by his side, was Caine.

His right-hand man. He matched his every stride and step. They were completely in sync the entire run but in their own individual worlds. Their body language was like brothers like they were raised by the same person and got their swag from them to develop their own.

It wasn’t because they looked alike; they didn’t. There was something else about seeing the two of them together, even at that young age. As they got older, that only developed more and incorporated Vivienne into their stride with them. Vivienne could distinguish the stark differences between them immediately.

Caine had about three inches on Malik at fourteen, just hovering over him slightly. Malik caught up for a while when he was in his growth spurt. Malik enjoyed being equal to Caine, but it didn’t last. Caine hit his growth spurt and gained another 3 inches the following year and was 6’6 from that point on. There were other differences. Malik was lean and muscular, like a true track runner. Caine was clearly a football player in training. He was tall the way a basketball player would be. His presence was commanding. He was often silent and to himself, but once you got to know him, once he was comfortable, his personality was even bigger than he was. He always came off as gentle and never intimidating, at least if you knew him.

That first day, after locking eyes with Malik, she recalled how Caine had glimpsed up at her. She wasn’t sure how long he might’ve been gazing at her. His smile beamed fleetingly at her but regarded that Malik had her attention and she had his. Caine walked off in another direction.

Malik didn’t follow.

He took the opportunity to approach her. Vivienne never thought anything more of it.

Two

Chapter 2

Throughout all their years together—high school, college, grad school, and into their real adult lives—Malik and Vivienne had some on-and-off-again moments, but they always came back to one another. Vivienne hadn’t ever been with anyone other than Malik. He had been her one and only. Malik couldn’t say the same though. He’d been out and tested the waters. She had remained tried and true to him. It was always the two of them.

But there was also Caine. He’d been there through all of it too. Granted, he was on Malik’s side of things, but he was a silent partner in their relationship. Malik and Caine were as much of a unit as she and Malik. Their relationship and friendship ran that deep. They had their peaks and valleys too, just like she and Malik. Vivienne loved Malik with everything in her. She couldn’t imagine anything or anyone different that she wanted to spend her life with. They had been engaged for the last two years. They’d never set a date though, waiting for the perfect time. But no time ever seemed perfect.

Vivienne felt that she’d never find a love like this. Not for her. She was honest with herself about Malik though. He wasn’t what she dreamed of, but he was what she needed. Vivienne was a teenager and had always imagined Romeo—a passion that burned so bright, so deep, that it would blind anyone around them. He wouldn’t ever see anyone but her. She didn’t have to imagine it. It was her reality. That scorching passion was lit for a long time, but the business of their relationship took over, extinguishing some of those flames.

Reality knocked right into the fantasy of that dream.

They had built a life and business together. Music had been both of their passions. It was something they bonded over immediately. They earned their bachelor’s degrees in the entertainment business and musical performance and then their MBAs. She did it to help support the idea of him starting his own music label. She and Caine would be his first artists. Vivienne had always wanted to be a singer. She wanted to produce and write her own music. She’d always been told what a voice she had. It was powerful and soulful, but it wasn’t the priority.

It never was.

Now, she was feeling less and less a priority for Malik. There was a part of her heart that was broken in a way that she could never explain. Broken in a way she didn’t think she could recover from. Vivienne had worked to push that part deep down so that she could move on with her life.

Vivienne’s mind left the past and came back to the present.

Caine’s arms were around her waist, and he pulled her closer to him. She was a full foot shorter than him at 5’6, and though she was a curvy chick who could hold her own, she didn’t have half his strength. Vivienne tried to pull away.

You scared the shit out of me! Why the fuck did you just barge in?

He released her and took in the sight of her, in a slinky black nightgown made of thin silky material, soft to the touch. His fingers grazed across her body as he released her, and she silently shuddered at that minuscule contact. She unexpectedly felt naked and awkwardly abashed. He continued to look her up and down.

I saw him… I tried to call, and you didn’t answer my calls or texts, so I figured you saw too. From the sound of your soundtrack, I was right. Viv…?

She cut him off, rolling her neck to work the kink out from her smooth criminal spin.

Did you call him?

Caine reluctantly nodded.

I did. He said it’s all being blown way out of proportion. He said he’d call you in the morning. He didn’t want to have an emotional conversation that would lead to an argument while he still had business going on.

Mutha fucka! Emotional!?! He’s hugged up with a bitch all over the internet and social media. He’s got to think I’m the dumbest bitch alive!

Vivienne screamed at Caine, who was willing to take the brunt of her anger. She turned and was about to start pitching shit around the bathroom to release her emotions the way she wanted to do to Malik, but Caine grabbed her. She struggled and fought against him, but again, despite the fury that was fueling her strength, it was nothing to Caine. Her back to his chest, he held her so she couldn’t break away. She kicked and clawed to no avail. Vivienne let out a gut-wrenching howl while trying to fight him off harder.

Viv, stop. I know this hurts. I know…

She cut him off, screaming at the top of her lungs.

Fucking hurts? I’m his fiancée. I’m supposed to marry him, but he keeps doing this shit to me.

He pulled her up, tighter and higher, to draw her closer to him. He rested his forehead against the back of hers, burying his nose in her hair. This action settled the growing indignation inside her. The scruff of his well-maintained beard brushed the skin on the back of her neck, causing micro-shudders to course throughout her body. She thought of his sheer strength to be able to hold her like this as she fought him. She gasped as the shudders returned like a wave through her body. He took a deep breath, breathing her fresh scent in and causing Vivienne’s breath to get caught in her throat.

Caine, put me the fuck down, please. I’m going to be okay. I’m not going to click out. I promise. I’m alright.

His arms were stronger than they looked. He was muscular, and it almost felt crushing as his arms enveloped her. She felt him nod in agreement. He didn’t place her back on her feet but instead sat her on the counter. They stared at one another for a long time before speaking. Vivienne admired him. Caine’s dark brown skin looked as soft as the material of her nightgown and as rich as a double mocha from Starbucks.

Ironically, despite he and Malik being inseparable, she and Caine worked together. He was a sound engineer at the Le Venue. The job was helping him at least with Malik. He was at least keeping his promise to Caine. He was finally getting his first album out soon. She smiled at the thought that he was destined to be a star. He deserved it.

His voice was…Everything. His talent had always amazed her. His voice was smooth and soulful. It had power but was not