Her First Mistake: Harpring, #1

By V. K. Lockwood

She thought moving back to her hometown would give her a fresh start.
She was wrong. 

 

 BOOK #1 in the Harpring Saga 

 

GWEN BRANSON finds herself at the top of the corporate ladder when she accepts a promotion of a lifetime. Heading back to her hometown of Harpring, she has big plans to create more jobs for the small community. As she settles in, she encounters memories from her past and a love she left behind. If the memories weren't tough enough, she finds herself face-to-face with the man who still holds half her heart. 

 

MAX BRANSON watched the love of his life walk out the door. He knew where he went wrong and was certain once Gwen realized her hometown hadn't changed, she'd come running back to him. When divorce papers arrive, he realizes she's not coming back and has no other option than to head to Harpring and earn back her love.

 

KAL McKINSEY never left Harpring and, for over a decade, heartbreakingly followed Gwen's life through online articles and social media. Although she left without saying goodbye, his love for her remained strong. If he ever got the chance to see her again, he promised himself; he was going to make things right and never let her out of his life again. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: VKL Books
• Release date: Feb 14, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224750092

V. K. Lockwood

V. K. Lockwood is an American Author of Psychological Thriller & Suspense books.

Book preview

Chapter 1

Isprinted up the hill towards the track, striving to clear my mind of everything that had just happened. Run faster! Harder! Something… I had to get my senses back in check with whom I was. Not who he insisted I was supposed to be.

I freed my hair from the black cotton hair tie, shuffled towards the bleachers, and settled on the chilly bench. As I stared at the night sky, I couldn’t help but acknowledge how radiant the stars were tonight. I ran my hands through my hair to air out the sweaty feel on my scalp and forced a smile. Things would only get better; I kept explaining to myself. I just had to create some changes. Some serious adjustments. I was in a rut. That’s all it was. My heart and soul knew I was lying, but my mind was effortlessly applying another bandage over everything, thoroughly avoiding the root cause of my emotions.

Come here often?

I jerked my head towards the voice behind me.

Sorry, I… I wavered. Stunned. For a moment, there were no feasible words. Resting near the top of the bleachers was Kal — my summer fling from ages ago. My heart quivered and descended deep into the pit of my stomach as I froze in shock. I was thankful it was a dark evening to mask the fact that my face was blazing red. Through the moonlight I caught his grin, and that alone erased every distressing feeling that had been suffocating my soul that evening. I watched him stand, step down the aisle, and relax in the row above mine.

I don’t come here regularly, he went on. In fact, this is the first time I’ve been here in years.

Same here. I acknowledged, still swaddled in the nervous excitement of the moment. Words, thoughts, and sentiments became disorganized in my mind. Powerless to construct any sort of sensible sentence, I fumbled with the hair tie.

I thought you left town? he asked, still smiling at me. I observed him lean forward, settle his elbows on his thighs and rub his hands simultaneously.

I did. I am. In fact, I’m just here visiting.

He nodded.

You? I asked him. My mind was already backtracking to over a decade ago, when his arms felt like the only secure place to be. Where his lips brushed away every sense of numbness and shot tingling sensations throughout my entire body. Back to when his voice relieved my entire being and carried me through the exceedingly detrimental concerns that raced through my mind. A season when life had fallen apart, and he was the only one who rushed through the chaos, picking up every single, fractured piece of who I was, and carried them until I was ready to piece myself back together. He supported me through the process without hesitation. If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know where I’d be today.

Still surviving in the area. I can’t leave. You know that. He inhaled deeply. So, why did you leave?

I bit my lower lip. It felt like he flipped a switch on my body as tears snaked their way to the corners of my eyes. I had cried in front of him many times, but tonight I craved for everything but the tears to come back.

"I think I should reword that. Why did you leave me? That’s what I meant to ask." He stared at the night sky, and I peered up, spotting the same satellite he was following.

Now the pit in my stomach was taking over. I alternated the hair tie from one wrist to the other and took a few deep breaths as I stared at my hands. I shifted on the cold bleacher seat and turned slightly to the right so I could talk with him.

I mean, I tried to call you, talk to you and…

Kal, I was a wreck, I blurted out. I was a mess. I was broken. Tired. Exhausted. Numb.

You and I both.

I nodded. I hated who I was then — when I was with you. God, I despised myself then. I forced a smile, believing it would hold back the tears that had seeped over my eyes, obscuring my vision.

I thought I was there for you. Kind of thought I made that clear. I thought the feeling was mutual.

You were there for me. The only one who was. One tear slithered down my left cheek. Not wanting to invite awareness, I let it be. The sensitivity of the night air on the tear streak caused my throat to tense up.

He turned his gaze towards me, folded his hands, readjusted his elbows on his knees, and peered off into the sky a second time. If I was there for you, then why did you leave? Without a word, you vanished. You left without saying goodbye to me. You just quit calling, left everything. For days, I wondered what I did. For weeks, I tried to find you. It took months of wondering what I did wrong to put doubt in whatever it was we had. And this last decade, I doubted us; what I thought we were.

I’m sorry. I replied. There was so much… I paused when tears emerged from my eyes. As my throat tensed, I struggled to manage my breathing, trying to keep it steady and hold back the cries that so desperately wanted to be heard.

He swayed his head as I held my breath. It’s okay. It’s done. Over. In the past. I’m sorry to be so blunt. It’s just been nagging me all these years; why you left. I wondered what I did that was so wrong. This is not how I wanted this moment to go. I have so many questions that right now, the answers wouldn’t fix anything. It happened as it was meant to; I suppose. I just need to live with that fact. Can’t go back and fix what happened. Or, how things happened.

I looked up at him and wiped the tear streaks from my face. I sniffled, and he quickly met my gaze. For a moment, I thought he was going to reach out and pull me into his arms and tell me everything would be okay, like every other time I cried in his arms. But he didn’t. Instead, he continued talking. I sat straighter, swallowed the lump in my throat and took a few more deep breaths.

You know why I came here tonight? he asked.

I watched him take a deep breath and the apprehension of needing to know his response and not wanting to know his response was agonizing. No. I shook my head and peered over the football field for a few seconds before turning my gaze back to him.

Memories. The ones that make me smile and feel complete. The ones that make me laugh and reminisce about things I never said that I should’ve said. I still kick myself to this day, for some things I never said. I like to feel the moments where life felt perfect all over again. Even if I only get to enjoy it for a few minutes, or seconds, I just need to feel it. He perched straighter for a moment, stretched, and rested his arms on his thighs. I come here to feel you, he went on as he stared at me. To feel things only you and I know. Sometimes I come here to cry and laugh at the same time. I still feel you. I still see you. I see us. Happy. In love. That’s the only reason I come here. When life gets rough, I just think back to you, us. Everything we shared. Every moment…

Kal… Every word he said fired electrical pinches through my body. It was like he conscientiously extracted the very words from my soul and brought them to life in front of me. I wanted to blurt out everything that was throbbing inside of me, but I also needed to understand his words and hear his voice. Amid the anxiety, it was my own actions I was suffering from that hurt us.

He cleared his throat before continuing. I didn’t know where you went. So, I come back to the only place where I know I can feel you. And that’s the god authentic fact about why I’m here tonight. I tried to stay away from this place, and I did for a while. I did good. At least, I thought I did. Instead, I was only suppressing a fire that refused to dim. It’s exhausting knowing it will never dim and my efforts are useless. But I think maybe one day, I’ll be able to make it a little less painful. Time is supposed to treat the pain, but I’m still waiting. It never goes away. It’s a void that I have to learn to live with and I haven’t mastered that part yet. Not sure how long that takes.

I wanted to break down and console him. I wanted to stand, pull him into my arms and feel him cloak me in his. But I remained sitting, watching and listening. And all the while wondering why and how I could ever hurt someone who evidently loved me with every being of their own soul. It felt wonderful to hear his words, but they stung, and I deserved every sting.

Tonight isn’t the first night I’ve come here. I’ve come here many times to say goodbye. I guess I should just be up front with you, even though you probably think I should just get over it. But…

I had no idea…

He smirked at me. And I wouldn’t change a thing about it. Even if it hurts, I like to feel it. What we had then, back then, was a good thing. Wrong time, but we had something good. I’d like to think you agree with that.

I nodded and smiled. I wholeheartedly agree with you.

Are you happy now? He peered over the football field and fidgeted with his hands.

I shook my head. It’s complicated.

It generally is. He studied me. I didn’t go anywhere. You always knew where to find me. I didn’t change my number. You changed yours, he pointed out.

His words stung me deeper. I wish I could go back. I really do.

What would you change?

A number of things.

Like?

Well, I would change us.

How so? He challenged me.

I would’ve slowed things down and stuck around for the right moment for us, I replied. Listened to you. Stayed with you. I know things got hard, and I messed up. I messed up and I recognize that. And not just tonight. It’s been every single day since I left that I’ve accepted deep inside how I was the one who messed things up for us. You were there for me, and I was the one who abandoned it all. And I regret that every single day. Every single day. I would’ve done more of what I wanted instead of what everyone was suggesting I do.

He nodded.

I would’ve listened to my heart more. Truth was, I needed to say a lot of things. I craved to break down and scream out everything that was stinging inside. But I held back what the core of my soul was screaming. He was no longer mine, and I had to comply with that. I was the one who let him go and I had to learn how to live with that. So respectfully, I kept inside the words I should’ve spoken all those years ago. But if I speak them now, it could, what? Destroy his world all over again? Make him wander through that storm alone again? No. I didn’t want to hurt him again.

You know what I would’ve changed? he asked.

What?

I would of never let you go. And if you would have stayed with me, I would have never taken you for granted. I would have loved you with the same passion we had for each other. The same warmth I still have for you. We missed out on a lot of years. A lot of memories.

You’re making me feel bad.

Good, he smirked. You hurt me. I just want you to know that.

I know I did. And… I paused when he set his hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

C’mon, he said as he rose and held out his hand.

I grabbed hold and held his hand as we ambled off the bleachers and out onto the football field. We strolled in silence towards the twenty-yard-line, where we laid on our backs in the grass to gawk at the sky. It was the past all over again. The senses of being loved completely. The feeling of holding the one hand you never want to let go.

We chatted about all the other times we would walk to this very field, lay down and stare at the sky. On clear nights, we’d tally the satellites and make wishes on all the falling stars. We’d share our dreams, passions and talk each other through the hard times or any challenges either of us was experiencing. We’d talk about our future. A future together. We’d explain all the things we never wanted again in a relationship and everything we craved. Along with our fears, we expressed growing old together. Being there for each other. We talked about it all.

After a short time, his hand let go of mine, brushed over my thigh and up to my stomach. It’s crazy how almost a decade can pass, but feelings from the past can surge back into the present and make the world halt with one special touch.

I watched the stars glitter, and I was back in my early thirties, lying next to the man who brought me back to life. It seemed like all the poor decisions we made were a lifetime ago. But we were older now. Wiser and more in control of our feelings. I could have stopped his advances, but I didn’t. I could’ve turned my cheek when he leaned over and put his lips on mine. But I kissed him back. I let him run his fingers over my body as I inhaled his scent and returned every touch he placed on my skin.

You okay?

I opened my eyes, gazed at the ceiling, and turned to stare at Max, resting in bed next to me. I let out a sigh and grinned as I turned my head to look back at the ceiling. Yeah.

What kind of dream were you having? he snickered as he leaned on his left side and placed his hand over my stomach. He pulled me closer to him and held me against him.

I… I guess I’m not sure, I lied, struggling to recall every bit of the dream. But it was fading fast, and I just wanted to lie there and go through every step as to not forget. But the more he chatted and the more awake I became, the quicker the dream dimmed.

Must’ve been a great one, he whispered in my ear as he settled his head on my pillow.

Why do you say that?

You were smiling, and I want to say laughing, but you weren’t laughing. But you were genuinely smiling. Gorgeously smiling in your sleep.

Okay,