Who Burned My Chicken Soup: Practical Life Lessons for Self Proclaimed Bad Bi@#S, Divas, Girl Bosses, and Other Mythical Creatures

By Kameisha Jenkins Johnson

"Ladies, gentlemen, and mythical creatures of the world, gather 'round for a groundbreaking announcement! Introducing ""Who Burned My Chicken Soup...Practical Life Lessons for Self Proclaimed Bad Bi$%#, Divas, Girl Bosses, and Other Mythical Creatures"" - the self-help book that's here to shake things up and keep it real!

 

Tired of traditional self-help fluff? Looking for guidance that's as honest and poignant as your best girlfriend's advice? This is the book for you. Whether you're a self-proclaimed bad bi$%#, a diva, a girl boss, or any other mythical creature trying to navigate this wild thing called life, these practical and unfiltered life lessons are your new best friend.

 

Perfect for book clubs, brunch with your girlfriends, or just some real talk with yourself, ""Who Burned My Chicken Soup"" delivers the kind of no-nonsense wisdom that speaks to women with real lives and real problems. Say goodbye to warm and fuzzy buzz words, and hello to a dose of reality served with a side of laughter and empowerment.

 

So, if you're ready to dive into the untraditional, unapologetic, and downright hilarious world of self-help, grab your copy today and join the movement of women who refuse to settle for anything less than greatness. It's time to embrace your inner bad bi$%#, diva, or girl boss and conquer life on your own terms"

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kameisha Johnson
• Release date: Jan 29, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224137718

Book preview

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Copyright © Kameisha Jenkins Johnson.

2022. All Rights Reserved

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause. Adherence to all applicable laws and regulations, including international, federal, state, and local governing professional licensing, business practices, advertising, and all other aspects of doing business in the US, Canada or any other jurisdiction is the sole responsibility of the reader and consumer. Neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility or liability whatsoever on behalf of the consumer or reader of this material. Any perceived slight of any individual or organization is purely unintentional."

The resources in this book are provided for informational purposes only and should not be used to replace the specialized training and professional judgment of a licensed professional. Neither the author nor the publisher can be held responsible for the use of the information provided within this book. Please always consult a trained professional before making any decision regarding your personal psychological decisions.

Table Of Contents

On black girl magic….

Just because we’re magic, does not mean we’re not real.

-Jesse Williams

Foreword From The Author

A love letter to self-proclaimed bad bit#@&, divas, girl bosses, It girls and other mythical creatures

Dear self-proclaimed bad bit#@&, divas, girl bosses, It girls and other mythical creatures,

So, the world has figured it out. You are every damned thing. You are edgy style and tastemakers, dominating athletes, gravity-defying performers, graceful first ladies, spitfire politicians, bohemian naturalists, trailblazing scholars, media moguls, phenomenal actors, corporate and entrepreneurial powerhouses, insightful counselors,  nurturing mothers, sisters, daughters, cousins, and aunties and all things in between. Awards shows are choreographed to honor you. Because when the world refused to clap for you, you clapped for your damned selves. Salute. This book will feel like an endless mimosa at a brunch situation with your good girlfriends. Or that long overdue talk with your favorite auntie to set you straight. However you receive it, know it was written by someone who loves you enough to tell you the truth.

We have all heard the buzzwords used to articulate the greatness of black women…magic, dopeness, fierce, insert your adjective. I submit that all of it is true. We've learned to coordinate our capes and outfits and called it a moment. While this is great, it is equally exhausting and demanding. As a card-carrying, Palmer's cocoa butter-using, bonnet-at-night-wearing black girl, I readily reap the recent accolades heaped on us by those who witness us from a tangible but measured distance…as if we are elusive wildebeests breaching the savannahs at the hint of dawn.

Yes, some people are afraid of us, and for good reasons. We will talk about that later. But there is yet something about us, like the wildebeest, which unites us to ensure our survival. We share our experiences and knowledge freely with each other. How many times have you had a conversation with another black woman about hair care or anything specific to what I like to call the black girl struggle with the sole purpose of sharing your experience in the hopes that it might help another woman? I am an unapologetically James Brown black and proud woman writing from my experience. But here is something I have learned in my journey: our lessons are universal, so this book can apply to anyone. Here is something to think about: During the annual migration from one feeding area to another in Saharan Africa, wildebeests are particularly vulnerable to predators.

Over 250,000 are killed every year during this transit. Those who survive do so because of a phenomenon animal behaviorists call swarm intelligence. In these actions of intelligence, the wildebeest systematically explores and overcomes obstacles as one, collectively employing shared knowledge so that they may all thrive. An each one teach one of the animal kingdom. We have created our own swarm intelligence and, in doing so, created a brand of existence so unique and utterly remarkable that cultural movements are crafted to replicate it. This book, for me, is my contribution to our swarm intelligence. Safe travels, my beloved self-proclaimed bad bit#@&, divas, girl bosses, It girls, and other mythical creatures.

Introduction

Telling it Like It Is and Aint…

Comedian George Carlin once joked, If you are reading a book that someone else wrote about what to do to improve your life, it is not self-help. You have figured out from the title that this is not your typical self-help book. In fact, I should be clear. This book is not an improve your net worth in 24 hours, lose thirty pounds in a week, grow longer, thicker hair while spicing up your sex life with one small pill, or your money back guaranteed kind of book. This book will not suddenly make you thinner, sexier, or remotely more likable than you already are. That is what martinis are for. While I recognize and celebrate that you are a self-proclaimed bad bitch, diva, girl boss, It" girl, or other mythical creature, there are some things we need to keep in mind to continue to become the best versions of ourselves. This book is a subtle but helpful reminder that experts at their craft worked at it every day when no one was watching. So you can take this book in the bathroom with you when you have a few moments to yourself. I won't mind.

So, who the heck am I?

No, I am not a brilliant psychologist with fifty letters behind my name who will tell you that if you follow my instructions closely, you will be cured. I am a life and executive coach who has worked in project and people management in corporate America for over 20 years. So technically, I do have all the letters behind my name, but who cares? I specialize in truth.

This book is about the truth…the ugly, PMS-inspired, slightly bloated-can't-fit-in-skinny jeans- truth. Luckily, I don't need a degree for that...yet. I know. It's a novel idea…a book about everyday women and everyday things…who aren't starring in an episode of the Housewives of Survivor Island while dancing with the Stars at Rehab. Contrary to what so-called self-help books may have told you, this book will not answer all your life questions. In fact, you may have more questions after reading it. That means it's working. It's like medicine that tastes horrible but works better than the syrupy bubble gum stuff. Believe me. I know what you are thinking.

This is supposed to help, and yes, SOME self-help or motivational books do help. But not all of them do for reasons that aren't our fault. The truth is that sometimes, we just don't get it. Life is coming at us fast as hell. Books written by Dr. So and So sound great when we brag to our friends that we purchased them. And boy, don't we love for others to see us reading them? We hungrily consume the chapters, absorbing every cliché and catchphrase that helps us to feel more conscious of our inner selves, ready to grasp all the world has to offer.

It is within our reach. But who are we kidding? About a week after we read these books, those perfect moments of clarity and Zen magically disappear, crushed by the reality of rush hour traffic and that load of laundry awaiting us that is beginning to grow hair. This doesn't mean that there is something wrong with us. It simply means we are diverse and complicated...and really damned busy. Our well-meaning efforts are sometimes sabotaged by our belief that we have too much common sense to believe that years of issues, frustrations, and drama are resolved in a few therapeutic-esque paragraphs. Though we try earnestly, some of us fail to walk