WHO ARE YOU?: So What is Your Reality?

By Gail F. Nicholls

Who are you?

Why are you here?

Why did you choose this lifetime experience?

Did you choose your family and friends?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Writers Book Fair
• Release date: Nov 29, 2023
• ISBN: 9781961390270

Book preview

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Copyright © 2023 by Gail F. Nicholls.

ISBN (Paperback) : 978-1-961390-28-7

ISBN (eBook) : 978-1-961390-27-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author and publisher, except by reviewers, who may quote brief passages in a review.

(This symbol was given to me by Akhenaten. As Above, So below. The Key of knowledge from Spirit down my spine and thru the Silent Sound of AUM. The Pyramid behind supports us to be able then to use this energy for the good of mankind. I was then instructed to Tattoo it on my back of my neck as it is also a form of protection. The Eye of Horus on both sides.. Gail.)

Book Ordering Information

Writers Book Fair

99 Wall Street Suite 181

New York, NY, 10005, USA

[e-mail]

www.writersbookfair.com

Printed in the United States of America

Edition Three

(If you have purchased Edition One or Two and wish for a copy of Edition Three for a complimentary download, send me an email with your request and mention what story you liked best and page. Plus, any comment on a story, clarification or what gave you an Ah-Ha moment as I would love to hear.

Also confidential, not put on Facebook etc! Thank you.)

(My book being introduced at a Conference in Uluru, 2019

and shapeshifting in Uluru 2021, taken by a attendee.)

You can place more orders or request services as a Guest speaker, Presenter, Teacher (Melchizedek Method Levels 1&2) or Healer,

Contact Gail F Nicholls

[e-mail]

Contents

Table of Pictures

Acknowledgments

Introduction

My Spiritual Guides and Inspiration

Poem Who Am I

Part One: In the beginning was the word

In the beginning was the word

Early childhood and growing up

My Awakening 1953

Primary School

My introduction to Moses… this amazing Master

College

The Workforce

Manifesting my husband

Training for Naturopathy

My Healing Education

We are all healers in some way… Power in our hands with thought form

Hypnotherapy… the power of our minds

Auckland

So why did I change direction in my career?

Bed Wetting… my pre-introduction to Hypnosis

Training as a Hypnotherapist

The teacher within us all

Our thoughts do affect another… teaching using the Power of the Mind

More stories about removing pain and discomfort…

Headaches

Back injury

Rules of the mind… The rules of suggestion: Repetition

Our thoughts do affect another person

Dr. Danesh… a wonderful teacher who has a story worthy of his own book.

Dr. Danesh’s Golden Rules

Poem: My Spiritual Friend

PART TWO: My journeys to find the truth and to remember Who am I!

Poem: Here I Sit in Silence

Reincarnation… are we all One?

Memories

Do we live in a multidimensional illusion?

Time Travel, Teleportation and Bi-Location

Numerology

Memories of Past Lifetimes and many lessons

My fear of fire

A young girl who died in a car fire

The Body and World Chakras

ENGLAND

Stonehenge

The Merry Maidens

The Monk

A Small Bridge in Oxford

The Hanging

INDIA

Sai Baba’s Ashram Visit

My introduction to my guide Akhenaten

A wee walk up a mountain for a blessing from a priest

The walk to the source of the Ganges and the Indian boy

The last two nights on this trip to India

BALI

Work on Mt Agung

Another Temple

The Kecak Fire Dance

AUSTRALIA

The Aborigine Girl

Uluru

Port Douglas, Shaun

EGYPT

Egypt Tour, 1999 – The Melchizedek Method

The four canopic jars

Cheops Pyramid Measurements

Instructions on how to make your own pyramid.

Initiations along the River Nile

The Temples along the Nile and the teachings acquired there

Abu Simbel

More visits to Abu Simbel

Kom Ombo Temple

Dendara, the Zodiac

Dendara - Hathor’s Temple

Abydos and Vimanas…proof of unexplained flying crafts

Tell al-Amarna

The Secret Doorway

The Unknown Tomb

The Coin

The White Desert to clear entities from the end of the Lemurian Shift

Saqqara Temple

Ka-Aper ... Sheikh-el-Beled

JORDAN

Petra

Moses’ Well

The Dead Sea and Mt Nebo

ISRAEL

Jerusalem… the lesson

CHINA and TIBET

First visit in 2008

The Warrior, 2010

Lake Manasarovar and Mt Kailash

The Tibetan Monk

Guge, Zhada County, Tibet

AMERICA

The Wedding

The American Client and Teleportation

Sedona

The Shamans story

Monument Valley

Return to Sedona, 2014

The girl healed by ETs

ALASKA

The Piece of Ice

Dr Masaru Emoto

The Whale

Coldfoot, Yukon Koyukuk Province

So, what does HAARP stand for?

HAWAII

Kona

Kauai Island, visiting a spacecraft

NEW ZEALAND

Visiting an alien spacecraft…Howick, Auckland

Taupo… experiencing another visit to an UFO.

My own experience on the Desert Road, North Island.

Castle Hill

Slipping into 5th Dimension

Hollow Earth

MEXICO

Yaxchilan, Chiapas

My life as an ET youth

More proof!

PERU

The UFO Highway of the World

Chavin de Huantar

Huaraz and the UFO visit

Shape shifting with a Shaman in Cusco

The Shaman at Saqsaywaman

Yungay, Huaraz

Extra Interesting Stories

Shape Shifting Story... The Atlantean Client

The Deck

PART THREE: THE AWAKENING – DNA – AKHENATEN – EARTH CYCLES

The Awakening

A true story about how one man cured his cancer through laughter

Another interesting client’s story

So, what is our contract and why are we here?

Are we an ‘intelligence’ having an experience that could be called an Illusion?

DNA

Akashic Records

Poem: Move On

Then who are we?

Activations…an experience

Scientists prove DNA can be reprogrammed by words and frequencies

Applied Kinesiology and interesting stories

So, who are the Councilors?

So, what is Karma, and what makes us who we are today?

Deoxyribonucleic Acid

Noah’s Ark

Chavin de Huantar…were we seeded from another race?

Chavin de Huantar - the bringing in of a new DNA into humanity

Not only parents, but ET’s may have passed down their DNA to us

A book manifested to help me understand

Vimana Aircraft

Are we being affected by ‘Beings’ who wish us to not remember who we are!

Skulls in Peru

An ET Spiritual teacher

Akhenaten

A Client’s pet dog that saw Akhenaten

Was Akhenaten an alien we also know as Moses?

My regression on my life with Akhenaten

Tutankhamen and Nefertiti

Queen Nefertiti

The end of an era

Their Burial

The ‘Elder Lady’

The Egyptian Star Religion

What is the Mind, Body, Soul, and Spirit? Earth Cycles, and Dimensions?

Earth Cycles and Reincarnation

End of Lemuria and Atlantis

From the Third to the Fifth Dimension

Contracts

The foundation – more technical information on how do our minds and brains work?

The Soul Group

Time Frame as Sheldon Nidle mentioned

The Conclusion

Poem It is Now Time For you to Remember Who You Are."

Star Seed Identification Questionnaire

Bibliography and Further Reading

Websites of interest

Travel Agents details

Egpyt, Jordan and Israel Agent

Pictures of Peru

Pictures of Mexico

Pictures of China and Tibet

Pictures of Bali, Uluru, New Zealand (Castle Hill)

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Table of Pictures

Acknowledgments

Firstly, I would like to thank my dear husband,

Garry Nicholls: for allowing me to follow my soul path despite having no idea what I was on about. Thank you for accepting my stories of the seven past lifetimes we have lived together that I remember, to still stand beside me and allow me the freedom I so need in this lifetime. For understanding my belief system and commitment to spirit and my wish to awaken others to a far higher understanding of who they truly are so they can find their own truth. I also thank my two children for accepting my strange ways and not walking away from me, worried.

Also, to the many friends who have believed in me, propped me up when the going got tough to the point when I nearly gave up on my life’s contract, and to their constant ‘poking me’ with their positive comments when I reluctantly began to write this book. I thank especially…

Kathy Cherry: for the typewriter so many years ago and telling me to, ‘get on with it.’ I thank you for constantly pushing me and for being a true friend plus you were the first person to start me on my journey to other countries. The England experience in 1996, followed by Egypt in 1999, was the first of many travels I would take in my search for the truth, wisdom and understanding about what this life was all about. I will never forget. Saying thanks just does not seem enough.

Dr Danesh. MD: (Psychiatrist) for his regular phone calls prodding me over the past how many years, along with giving such amazing encouragement has made me feel I was not in need of his psychiatric services. His constant enthusiasm gave me strength, a post to lean on, and the determination to continue writing when I lacked faith in myself. His own story is so amazing I will share it later in Part One.

Isolde: her editing skills were an incredible answer to my prayer when I screamed out, ‘I need help!’ I struggled not only in writing my story but with the fact I did not really want to get it finished, especially when self-destructive thoughts entered my mind. Doubts, fears, telling myself I could not write, and did I wish it to see it in print. Thoughts that eroded my confidence. Who will believe me? Yet Isolde encouraged and urged me to keep at it. She took away my manuscript, edited it, and advised me what to rewrite and improvements I could make. Finally, she passed me this tiny, wee, USB stick saying, ‘It is finished Gail’. Without her help this book would have never been completed.

Craig Carian: from my soul group who has been my rock. Who also supported me and edited my book offering to ‘check out those spelling errors!’ Thank you also for supporting me also in my work, especially when we travelled together to distant lands plus at home as I was challenged in life itself. For ignoring my insecurities and for just being there, my rock His input in my spiritual work has been priceless.

Diana Duckworth (Diseased): A gifted author herself, coached me to write, gave great advice and reminded me to never give up. ‘Just get on with it!’ Also saying to me ‘The writing of your book is the easy part. It is the constant editing and more editing that is so important!’ (So very very true I found.)

Without these above six beautiful people, my humble words of thanks do not do credit or express how so very grateful I am to you all. Plus, the following

Vicky and the late Murray Hunter: for their support and the many long discussions on spirituality when travelling together ... the times they propped me up when I was at my lowest ... but once again, how many lifetimes Vicky?

Victoria Oosterdijk: for her ear when it got near on too hard and her ability to soothe my soul.

Neville Cox (and David) from my Soul group, who has now since passed over, his confirmation gave me trust in my memories of the ending of Lemuria along with being a most amazing teacher.

David Child-Dennis (Diseased): Who not only supported me, talking for 2-3 hours each night on our research, gave me good advice and warnings on this path we both walked. He gave his life to the research to awaken humanity to the secrets that needed to be opened and launched. He gave me all his research and entrusted me to write about his findings knowing his life was in danger. He died by a lethal injection as a diabetic. His friend saw the horror in his face as the Doctor ignored his pleading he was okay! His prediction became correct. He never made that helicopter flight of what was only a 10-minute ambulance ride! Questions I need to answer…. Possibly my next book!

And other beautiful friends: Without the support of so many friends, whose names would take many more pages, I think I would be in a ward wearing a white jacket. But special thanks must go to Dr Danesh who asked every week how the book was going. And to this day still phones weekly. I feel so very privileged with all your love and encouragement which helped over-ride the times when this spiritual path some of us are asked to walk on, just seemed too big a hurdle and writing this book an impossible task!

To all of you who have attended my workshops, meditation groups, and many overseas tours, your faith in my work has been priceless. Without you all my dear friends, I would not have been able to fill full my contract in the way I have through my work and travels. You all have given me so many amazing and wonderful memories. There are so many more people I could list, so please accept my thanks and love to those not mentioned. I wish you all well in your work, as when we work in the ONENESS, we truly will make a difference in what we call life.

I feel our lives are planned (we call this our Contract). We ‘bring into our lives’ today, our family and friends who will support us, teach us hard lessons sometimes, but also wipe away our tears. Without their support, I truly feel I would not be where I am today… surrounded by such wonderful people. I know this for a fact.

Writing this has been a massive experience, wondering who will believe my stories, constantly flogging myself with a ‘Cat of Nine Tails’, and always in fear of possible ridicule and being laughed at. My childhood memories were of such laughter and of not being understood. Now, I will stand before a jury in a court of law, hand on a sacred book and swear under oath, EVERYTHING IN THIS BOOK IS FACTUAL. It is my truth.

So may my book help you understand who you are and realise some of us do walk a fine line of sanity even though others think otherwise. Remember though that at the end of each life we look back and review it. You might think as I will, ‘Well! I did my best, so I am proud of who I am. I held my head up high and walked in my own truth ... in this life we call an illusion’.

God Bless you all.

Namaste ... Gail.

Introduction

Who Are You!

Have you ever wondered where memories are stored in the human brain? What makes you unique and special? Why you have fears and phobias? Maybe thinking what on earth is happening to our climate, why there is so much world unrest in some countries, yet many people are also uniting in protest to make world changes to improve humanity to bring in world peace!

Have you ever thought ‘why is it I feel like I have been here before’ as you visit a distant land, blissfully meandering along a foreign street, and then feel like you have walked this way before or know intimately a perfect stranger? Do you question, ‘What is this experience we call life?’ Yes, I have, and over the years in my search for the answers and truth, I think I have found it. Well, my answer that is!

An analogy ... our minds or brain are like a vast laptop computer plugged into a main computer. I will call this main computer our Akashic records. Everything we do in our lives is recorded, but our minds cannot hold all the information from this present life or from many lifetimes before. We forget so much, yet it lies dormant, waiting for the Soul to press ‘open windows or F1, F5’ or whatever we decide to open to a whole new world of memories before our inner eyes. Some choose to turn the program on or off and some question, ‘Why? What would the purpose be if I did remember who I am?’

Life certainly has taken on a whole new turn for me since the age of three years and it has become exciting, scary at times, but also very empowering! This is the story of my many travels looking for enlightenment also about the assimilation (or illusion) of what we call life! May reading my journey of researching over the many years, open you up to a whole new meaning of what we call life. Come for a journey as your eyes take on words of discovery as I searched for the truth of who we are, why we are here and what is it all in aid of? We call this ‘having a life’s experience’. I will be sharing a lot of spiritual knowledge along with technical and intellectual wisdom as I myself…. ‘Remember Who I Am’.

My Spiritual Guides and Inspiration

Guides are entities from another dimension and can be ‘passed over’ relations, people who you have had past lifetimes with or allocated to you when you stand before your councillors discussing your next incarnation and work you would like to do which I will discuss more in detail further on. Also includes Karma (lessons) you might also need to work on and clear. They are ‘Beings’ who are here to help and guide us on this journey we call life!

In 1999 I was introduced to my guide, Akhenaten, by Sai Baba and Lord Melchizedek while staying at Sai Baba’s Ashram in India. But more on that further on, as I would like to start my book with a poem given to me by Akhenaten who also wrote Psalm 104 in the Bible.

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Poem Who Am I

I am who I AM.

I am the keeper of my Soul

My Soul lives in this reality

But my reality becomes my unreality

And my unreality becomes the Source

The Source is then who I am

As I am the reality of my Soul

But then, what is this reality?

This reality that is then unreality

Who sayith that we are not But One?

For One is from the Source

The source is then neither reality nor unreality

What is truth and fiction?

Is it but not the other side of a coin?

Neither right nor wrong

Where South meets West and North meets East!

No matter where one stands

One can either be North, South, East or West.

This is then reality, but in another sense, unreality!

So, who am I – I am the keeper of my soul.

Who dwells North, South, East and West?

My reality is but my unreality

For I AM but one with the Source.

Gail F. Nicholls, 1999

Part One: In the beginning was the word

In the beginning was the word

In the beginning was the word

Have you ever wondered what life is all about? Have you ever just sat and thought, where do I come from, who am I and what is the purpose of my life? I have so many times and then wondered why ‘if I am in control of my life, my experiences and so on, then what the hell I created this experience for?’ It seems that life for some is easy and straight forward whereas some of us struggle with that inner fight to survive which is like an ever-burning fire within that cannot ever be put out. We could never say life is boring when we walk with open eyes.

My questions started very early in life, around 3.3 years of age in fact. It is only now, more than sixty years later, I am slowly starting to understand and make sense of life’s hurdles, the ups and downs, the periods of depression and feeling so ostracised from society and even at times my own family. I just did not feel like I fitted in anywhere. What was wrong with me? To this day this still makes an unwelcome appearance in my life from time to time and then a few days later the light bulbs go on, I see clearer, and the ‘ah-ha’ factor comes into play. ‘Remember life is just an illusion Gail’. What? Am I hearing voices in my head? Do I need to go and see a doctor? Am I suffering from schizophrenia? What is real and what is not?

Years ago, Kathy, a dear beautiful friend, suggested that I write my book, but I never had the inclination to do so; for one thing my spelling is ‘artrochus’. She then gave me a typewriter and said, ‘Write your book!’ I quickly placed her gift in the corner of the highest shelf in my bedroom cupboard. Why would I want to write my story? No one would be interested in reading it and I certainly did not want to open my own personal Pandora’s Box of memories. I preferred to leave them in the far corners of my mind and not dredge up the past. Hopefully they were forgotten. I preferred to stand under the umbrella of my shyness, keep my head down, stare at my shoes and walk this experience called life hoping the road would fade back into the ethers of nothingness from where it came. I never felt I belonged as it was, so the odd comment when I did speak always resulted in a look of disbelief or I was laughed at and called names I choose to forget. Had I sprouted horns? I was a square trying to fit into the circle of life.

Over the years, the suggestion to write my story was forever confronting me from all angles but in my limited vision of understanding, the time was just not right. I was not ready to bare my soul ... to upset some people if they did not understand. (I do not mean any ill feelings to those I might intentionally write about.) You see, life is just an illusion is it not? So, the little digs in my soul’s mind to share my story is because it might just help you, the reader, to understand you are not alone and that we are just part of a huge game we call life. I want to make you feel that it is okay to cry, to feel unloved, possibly even feel suicidal as it is just too hard a game, we are all playing, this game of ‘virtual reality being human’. But we each march on in time with our emotional tears dropping onto the soil of our Mother Earth, connecting us with each step forward to make us feel stronger. This life is amazing and exciting, and it does not need to be harsh or make you feel down, but to help you to stand up straight, your head held up high and smiling, walking in your truth just as I am now.

I also felt at my deepest soul level and through my ‘collective’s’ suggestion and constant reminders, to share with you many experiences of past lives I have recalled in my travels overseas. It made me wonder what ‘wacky-backy’ I was on. Was I as delusional as my father so often said I was? Was I one past the post of sanity? What is imagination and if it is for real, then it must have come from somewhere, surely? I have finally grown up as I now understand details and experiences that at the time seemed so harsh a lesson. I have kept my sanity so now when I look back, I think about how amazing that lesson or experience truly was.

I feel now I am ready to handle any comment suggesting I am just imagining things or need to be locked up in a padded cell. I am older now and wise enough to realize that it just does not matter what anyone thinks about you as it is our own faces and our own beautiful eyes that stare back at us from the mirror each morning. To have the knowing of one’s life’s purpose and to be true to oneself is the most important thing we can do in this game called life.

This photo was taken in my front foyer after giving a healing to a client and shows my statue of a monk with Tibetan scarves around his neck, where an energy from his third eye is flowing over me. There was no problem with my client’s camera. So, do you believe we could be living in an illusion? This I hope helps you think maybe I am right!

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Picture of the Illusion - (Top left, 1) the front foyer of our home with the Monk in the garden and (2) after a healing I did on a client, I am in that white blob of light. (3) The one of the gentleman was taken after his amazing ‘Life Between Lives’ session ... the energy and illusion was amazing. Plus (4) creating a Bundle on Lake Titicaca, see the energies beside him.

I would like to once again thank my husband Garry who over more than forty years of being married to someone he no doubt sometimes never understood, has stood by me. It must have been extremely difficult to live with someone that talks about the ‘spooks’ that frequently come and visit. He accepted my constant wish to educate myself and subsequent spending a heap of money on my education to get some ‘worthless Diplomas or Certificates’. I have qualifications in six different massage techniques and body therapies (including Reiki, Applied Kinesiology etc.), Numerology, and four different Hypnotherapy courses. You name it, I have done it. I have put the leg work into my education trying to understand that which I wished to connect to. For example, I studied Naturopathy for four years and having to go to college for a week every term for the intensive training that was part of the curriculum, plus all the extra workshops, buying of massage tables, books, machines and so on, could have pushed our marriage into the ‘too hard basket’ for my poor man. A lesser husband may have thought their wife was not pulling their weight in the marriage and considered moving on. Garry never did. I wished to study the hard way without cheating and so I have done the hard slog. My husband has allowed me to do it properly, to continue to attend expensive workshops, to learn, to experience and never asked for a contribution to the household expenses which is the biggest blessing of them all.

One year I paid $29.00 to someone in England, to gain an understanding and knowledge on Atlantean Reiki. I was told to download about six small books and to read and study the contents. Once this was completed, I was to email the ‘teacher’ and make an ‘appointment’. After a few months I emailed him to say all books were read even though I had not opened any of them. The ‘teacher’ replied and told me to dress in white, be in bed one night by 2.00am at which time he would ‘come and download some co-ordinates’ into my body. His downloading did not wake me thank goodness and I did not experience anything out of the ordinary. But, dear reader, a month later I received a beautiful Diploma stating I was now a qualified Atlantean Reiki Master - gold seal and all! (The saying ‘Let the Buyer Beware’ sure comes to mind.).

At one time in the early years of our marriage, I was working five part-time jobs to pay for my education, leaving Garry to look after the children even though he was also studying at university and working full-time. For twenty-five years I was a Totalizator Manager for five horse racing clubs. I cut hair and did home perms. I also wall papered homes, baby sat for friends along with making a few changes to our home. One year, Garry came home after being overseas on business, to a brand-new kitchen. Over three weeks I had hired a handyman to do the manual pulling out the old cupboard doors and install four, floor-to-ceiling louvered doors. l had tiled the benches, wall-papered the dining room end, painted plus sewed and put up new curtains! He was most impressed. Phew! I then suggested to Garry that we could also knock out a window and put in doors onto a new deck which would really extend our kitchen nicely for summer BBQs. While all of this was going on I was studying and being a full-time mum.

In 1999, I told Garry I now had to do extensive travel working for spirit, which would mean leaving him for three to four weeks at a time. He never questioned on what it was costing me along with the family emotionally or financially. I was now not around doing what normal mothers were expected and supposed to do. Spirit is good to me, and I never went without financially, so I have never once had to ask Garry for a loan. Over the years spirit has seen to it I have been well taken care of and given Garry no doubt on this. He was an accountant and was the private secretary to Robert Muldoon (New Zealand Government Minister of Finance) for three years, so he had no understanding where this money that manifested into my account came from! It’s easy ... spirit provides if it is for my work I tried to explain to him.

So, on this note I would like to start my story which may leave you wondering if this is for real, is that what I am writing truth beyond doubt, am I sane in fact? Well, I can assure you everything I write is the truth. My journey in this life has sent me on a most incredible magical ride of soul discovery and empowerment. May it also empower you. Know you are not alone; it is time we all wake up and walk as ONE. So here goes …

Early childhood and growing up

We choose our families to learn and experience what we need to do as a soul having a physical experience we call ‘life’. I chose my parents well ... a beautiful loving ‘love affair at first sight that never died’.

Dad went to fight in World War Two at the age of twenty. He had put his age up as he was number two of more than thirteen children, so it was a way to get away from the family and to find himself. It was to escape that time in his life and discover where his life was leading him. He fought in Italy at Monte Casino and was lucky to be one of the soldiers that came home alive. When he returned home he soon met my mother who was training to be a nurse, a beautiful love story. He was on his motor bike heading to his brothers for dinner and rode past a bus stop. His eye caught a vision of a beautiful red-haired lady waiting for a bus … but he carried onto his brother’s place thinking about her and wishing he had had the time to have been able to stop to chat her up.

Not long after he arrived, the doorbell rang, and my aunty went to answer the door. In walked her sister who just happened to be the lady with the red hair waiting for a bus. A spiritual set up? Karma? As she walked in my father saw her and he was smitten ... love at first sight! A coincidence? Never! They married with no money between them and became squatters in an empty house. Army trucks were parked next door, so our father used to jump the fence to siphon petrol from them. He felt that as he had fought in the war, they owed him the petrol to run his motor bike to and from work. Do you agree with him? One day a policeman knocked on the front door and he said his heart stopped beating thinking they had caught him stealing the petrol! But sigh of relief, they were asking them to leave as they were squatters on private property. Dad said as he was a returned service man and now with a wife and baby due, plus his fighting for his country had made the policeman’s life a lot safer did he agree! Dad told me with a smirk washing over his face, that the policeman left in a hurry after saying to keep their heads down.

I was the middle child, born into an average family in Wellington, New Zealand in 1950. I have a sister three years older than me and a brother who is three years younger. He was the apple of my father’s eye, a son after we two girls. We were now complete; a family with two beautiful loving parents and a Fox Terrier called Spot who protected us three kids with the heart of a lion! We were poor in a way, but there was always an abundance of love, so we were rich in the main areas of life. An abundance called love.

I seemingly chose to come into this world into a family of non-believers which on looking back, has made me stronger, careful of what I say and to be observant. Being quiet and shy, I watched how others reacted to life’s wee challenges and learned to be strong in my loneliness. I turned to my ‘Inner friends’, the ones others did not see or know were around. They made me laugh, told me when to be careful and helped me in my schoolwork (which could be classified as ‘cheating’ I suppose). I still follow their advice – and is so much easier in my adult life. It sure did make me strong in personality and stubborn!

My Awakening 1953

I am just three years old and it’s very cold and wet outside and I am huddled in my bed listening to the storm as it made the tree outside beat against the bedroom window. Everyone is sleeping soundly except me. Night-time is silently creeping in bringing dark shadows into the small bedroom I share with my sister. The wind is howling, and someone is saying, ‘Gail, remember who you are,’ over and over. I am becoming afraid. Who is outside the window? Who is talking to me? Even though his voice is so gentle and loving I’m now very afraid as well as cold. I try to wake my sister sleeping above me on the top bunk by gently calling her name. I want to ask if I can climb up the ladder and cuddle up to her warm body and feel safe from ‘that voice’ but I am too afraid to raise my voice in case I wake my baby brother and parents up…so my fear keeps me locked in the bottom bunk. The cold starts to creep from my toes up my legs, and in my fear my body starts shivering not only from the cold but now also from the fear welling up inside of me. I hide under the blankets hoping I will not be seen by that voice, but it finds me and repeats, ‘Remember who you are Gail’. Then I had a vision. To this day never forgotten it…as it is real to me now as yesterday!

I saw a withered old Indian man sitting on a red prayer rug on the side of some hill wrapped in only a blanket. The wind blew so hard that particles of ice formed and stuck to his frail body. His wispy grey hair blowing in the wind was catching icicles which also glistened as the moon beamed down through small cracks in the racing clouds. He sat motionless as if under a spell and seemed oblivious of the blizzard doing its best to penetrate his mind and body. You see, he was using his mind to create a hot fire within himself to keep him from freezing to death. He was a Shaman and knew how to control his body plus he was also in control of his illusion. He had created the fire within his mind and so he was warm. On this realisation, I fell asleep.

You might ask why I did not get out of my bed and get another blanket or even refill my hot water bottle, but it was because my mother said we were not allowed out of bed unless it was to use the bathroom. I was also too afraid to get up as under my bed lived a crocodile monster and it had glowed evil eyes and a row of nasty sharp teeth. It slept under my bed and if I got out it would wake up and snap at my small dangling feet. My choices were to get another blanket or climb up to the top bunk and snuggle in beside my sleeping sister, but I was too scared to do either that night.

All was quiet and still as I stirred from sleep the next morning. The sun was shining through our wee window and the trees outside the window stood still now, silent, with the leaves torn from their branches in the night now scattered at their feet. The terror I had felt was now filed away into the back of my mind as I kept telling myself it must have been a nightmare. I was warm and realised I had thrown a blanket off my bed which now lay on the floor; yet I had been so cold during the night. Did I have a nightmare? Was it all a dream? I have never to this day forgotten that night or that experience, and the voice never went away often repeating throughout my life, the message, ‘Gail, remember who you are’. Since that night the ‘voice’ started to tell me things, which has helped and guided me throughout my life. I now DO remember who I am!

Primary School

Life started changing for me from that night onwards. Our house backed onto a primary school, so I used to hang over the back fence and watch my sister go through the gate in the fence in the mornings on her way to school. I watched the kids play during their breaks and the laughter and fun they seemed to have made me wish I could go long before the required age of an old five-year-old. The day arrived, 16th June 1955 and I was now 5 and could go to school, so with my nice new brown leather school bag on my shoulders, I was taken by my mother through the gate to proudly walk over to the school building. The New Zealand flag was flying as it did daily when I walked into the headmaster’s office to be enrolled, tightly holding my mother’s hand. She was offered a seat in the front of his oversized messy desk in his office. I stood close beside her a little apprehensive in my shyness. The smell of books plus the seriousness of the headmaster as he took down the answers my mother gave to his endless questions made me wish I was now not the old five-year-old kid I had so longed to be. Inside my tummy I started to feel tiny wee worms wriggling inside of me wishing to get out, but I stood beside my seated mother and told those ‘Worms’ to go away. Finally, I was a schoolgirl. How excited yet nervous I was! After a quick hug and kiss on my forehead my mother left me to the perils of whatever lay ahead as my apprehension was now a mixture of excitement but also fear of the unknown. At long last, I was now at school and no longer staring through the wire fence at the back of our garden wishing I was on the other side.

The headmaster led me off down the outside corridor to the end classroom and introduced me to my teacher, Mrs Searle. She was an older lady with big bosoms whose rounded face was crowned with grey hair pulled back into a tight bun. She wore a purple and grey pleated tartan skirt to match a mauve twin set, along with sensible black shoes that I stared at in my shyness. She looked old and matronly and yet her voice was so kind and gentle. She smiled and the warmth of her outstretched hand instantly made me lose those annoying worms that had made me feel like I was going to throw up my bowl of WeetBix cereal and hot milk. She took me by my hand and led me to meet other kids my age. They stood at the blackboards on the sides of the room that held tiny wee desks and chairs. I was shown to one and proudly put my pencils and books into a drawer hidden under the top. A fire was a light in the corner of the classroom and the crackling of the burning wood bought a homely sound and smell to the warm room. Mrs Searle took my hand again and led me to my very own little blackboard and placed some chalk into my cold hand and allowed me to settle into these strange new surroundings. So, this was school. I was now a BIG GIRL! She left me to draw whatever I liked so I lost myself in my chalk world that made me feel so safe.

It did not take long to settle but something was not quite right! I did not feel like I fitted in. A few days later Mrs Searle started to become a little bit bossier as the chalk was taken from my left hand and placed into my right. This happened day after day until one day a ruler connected with the back of my hand, so from then on school took on a whole new meaning. I started to write with the right hand ... but I resented her making me change. I was so proud of what and how I wrote and how neat it was, but now it became untidy as I struggled to change to the right hand. My settling-in period was over.

Each day I prayed I would make a nice new friend, but all the children seemed oblivious to me. My mother said kindly, ‘Give it time’, and so I did. Time! How I was learning about that. Time marched on but still I felt like I was not accepted by the other kids. I tried so hard to fit in. One day I took all my new marbles to school and suddenly I made some friends. You see, marbles were the ‘in thing’ in those days and I had a few nice, big, shiny, new marbles. I was also fairly good at the game and so my bag grew with the marbles I won from the kids I played with. Oops! They did not like losing their marbles, so they started to harass me. I looked for my sister to protect me, but she ignored me as it was not ‘cool’ to look after a younger sibling.

One afternoon a gang of kids followed me home, but my sister was nowhere in sight. They pushed me to the ground and tipped all my precious marbles into the long grass. I was not physically hurt but arrived home crying and refused to tell my mother what the matter was. Over time and in between my sobs and tears, she finally got the story out of me so the next morning she marched me through that back-garden gate and over to the headmaster’s office. The children involved were called to stand before him but as I walked back into the cold classroom, not even the fire could warm me. I sat down and the joy of school, such a longed-for experience, slowly slipped from my grasp. From that day onwards no one would come near me and nasty comments like, ‘Mummy’s little darling’ were thrown at me. No one wanted me on their team in school sports and so a life of being alone and ostracised from society started. Loneliness became set in concrete in my mind and I soon hated going to school. So, I lost myself in books which became my escape and so started an education that would follow me throughout my life. (As I edit and read over this part I am now laughing as my favourite saying today is ... ‘Don’t worry, I haven’t lost my marbles’. I sure understand now why I say it.)

One day, the headmaster came into our classroom and asked if he could sit beside me by my tiny wee seat. His legs near on touched his eyebrows which made me giggle as he asked me to read to him which I did. He then asked me to do some maths; oh, how ‘easy-peasy’ it was. A few days later I was asked to go to the headmaster’s office. I was so afraid. My heart was going crazy with anxiety wondering why it was me who had been summoned. Had my mother been to see him again about how unhappy I was at school? What had I done wrong? When he asked me to sit down in his large chair my legs dangled over the edge which suddenly made me wonder if crocodiles also hid under his chair? My fears started to grow until he smiled at me. He told me I was to move classrooms and that I was going to skip eighteen months due to my test results. My reading and maths were advanced for my age and so I was being held back in the class with tiny table and chairs. I felt like an olive branch was being handed to me - an escape from the kids in that room. I went back to my wee desk, collected my books and pencils, and was led to the next classroom. I was now in the Standard One class. I was so excited. Surely this room of kids would accept me? But no! My personal development in other areas fell far behind the other kids in that class as they were far worldlier than me. Once again, I was not part of the scene and the saying, ‘Out of the fry pan and into the fire’ became so true.

My introduction to Moses… this amazing Master

One day the school sent me home with a notice saying they would be taking the ‘standard kids’ to see the movie ‘The Ten Commandments’ at a reduced cost. Would my parents give permission for me to go? I was so excited! Because I was so young my mother could not understand why I was begging her to let me see this movie. In the end I wore her down and she agreed (I am told I am extremely stubborn). Yes! This night out to go and see this movie was life changing. I remember it so vividly. I was absolutely enthralled and so connected to the story. Why? More on this later as Moses is also Akhenaten and one of the reasons for writing this book.

One day a van delivered boxes of books to our home…encyclopaedias, dictionaries, medical and other books along with this huge, white leather-bound Bible. It was like our own personal library of knowledge and understanding was now in my grasp. The Bible has such amazing pictures that made me want to read what they were about. One picture that caught my eye was of Moses standing on the mountain with his long grey hair flowing in a gentle breeze. The artist captured his expression perfectly which made him look so wise, so loving and so gentle. It reminded me of my vision of the Shaman on the mountain creating a fire in his mind. Why does Moses have such a strong hold on me? If I knew then what I know now, I might have run in the opposite direction and put that big white Bible on the bookshelf, never to pick it up again! Today, I still pick it up and look at the pictures, such beautiful art ... but that painting of Moses ... I now smile because I sure do understand today why.

I read the encyclopaedias and other books and especially loved drawing the Pyramids and fantasizing about life in Egypt; how one day I would go there, touch the sand and allow it to run through my fingers and hear the call to prayer and to be one with the land once again. The movie had awakened in me a longing and need to learn more about Egypt. The books opened a Pandora’s Box and I read everything I could get my hands on. I would sit on my bed and draw pyramids and more pyramids whilst learning about the Pharaohs and their lives. That big white Bible also had stories along with the amazing pictures that I would gloat over and get so excited about. I thought fictional books were so boring and reading such nonsense was a waste of time, so I read these encyclopaedias. My sister, however, read those silly Mills and Boon books on love, relationships and so on. She thought I was strange and probably wondered what was wrong with me. Well, some of us are simply different I suppose. One day I would visit Egypt and reconnect to that era and remember… why.

Life carried on and over time I grew up to realise I would never be accepted by the other kids as I just could not fit in no matter how hard I tried. Did they resent me for being younger as this was being ‘not cool’ to mix with younger kids or siblings? Nothing changed at Intermediate School either despite my prayers to meet kids more my own age