Forbidden Desires: Exploring Paraphilias

By Morten Maehre

This book explores the fascinating world of paraphilias, shedding light on the psychological intricacies that drive unconventional desires. This unbiased description of paraphilias combines straight-forward information, research and anecdotes to paint a clear picture of the diversity of human sexuality.

Chapters include A Sexual History, A Historical Perspective on Sexual Deviance and Defining and Understanding Paraphilias, as well as presentations and information on fetishism, sadomasochism, voyeurism, exhibitionism, frotteurism and pedophilia. There are also chapters about treatment and support for paraphilic disorders and sexual role-playing, a list of sources and recommended literature, and an appendix which lists different paraphilias and their focus of erotic interest.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Morten Maehre
• Release date: Jan 8, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224379088

Book preview

About the Author

Born in 1972 in Trondheim, Norway, Morten Maehre is an unassuming author, translator and teacher, guided by a genuine curiosity for psychology, science, languages and human relations.

Holding degrees in English, Norwegian and pedagogy, Maehre’s professional background and vast area of interests inform his explorations into the intricacies of the human experience. He embraces a liberal and open-minded stance, consistently drawn towards understanding perspectives that initially elude him. For instance, he knew very little about paraphilias before writing this book. His work is shaped by an unpretentious and unprejudiced approach and genuine inquisitiveness.

In addition to his published works, spanning both fiction and nonfiction, Maehre’s diverse interests and genre versatility have positioned him as a sought-after editor, co-writer, ghostwriter and translator.

This is his first book in English.

Introduction

A paraphilia refers to a condition where a person’s sexual desire and satisfaction rely on engaging in and fantasizing about sexual behaviors that are considered atypical and extreme. It can take on many forms. Paraphilias may revolve around specific objects, such as underwear or shoes, or extend to contacts with living beings, including children, animals or even plants. They may also be centered around certain behaviors, like inflicting pain or exposing oneself. What sets a paraphilia apart, is the intense preoccupation with the object or behavior, to the extent that it becomes necessary for sexual gratification.

In this book, we will explore the fascinating world of paraphilias, shedding light on the psychological intricacies that drive unconventional desires. The purpose of this book is to present a simple, yet comprehensive description of paraphilias by combining straight-forward information, recent research and historical anecdotes to paint a clear picture of the diversity of human sexuality.

Sexuality has always been a complex and diverse part of human nature, and paraphilias represent a unique realm within this vast spectrum. From fetishism and voyeurism to exhibitionism and sadomasochism, paraphilias encompass a wide range of unconventional sexual interests. While society may often view these desires with curiosity, misunderstanding or even fear, it is crucial to approach them with an open mind and a willingness to explore the depths of human experience.

We need to recognize that many individuals who function well in their daily lives may have sexual interests that fall outside the realm of traditional sexual conduct. A paraphilia is only diagnosed as a disorder if the individual experiences personal distress, or if there is impairment in important areas of functioning, such as social relationships or occupational pursuits. Additionally, if the behavior associated with the paraphilia causes harm to someone who has not consented, it will also be considered a disorder in need of treatment.

Paraphilias can be problematic if they cause significant distress or impairment in daily functioning for the individual in question or those close to them. Engaging in behaviors that violate societal norms can lead to emotional distress or cause interferences with work or social life. Some paraphilic interests may interfere with the individual’s ability to form and maintain healthy, consensual relationships. This can be a concern if it leads to isolation, loneliness or difficulties in forming meaningful connections with others.

It is essential to distinguish between harmless expressions of sexual interests from activities that can cause harm or distress. Some paraphilic behaviors may involve illegal activities, such as sexual offenses or exploitation, or actions that are widely considered unacceptable or taboo. Paraphilias become especially concerning when they involve activities that cause harm to oneself or others. This includes behaviors that infringe upon the well-being, autonomy or safety of individuals involved, one example being pedophilia.

With an aim to provide an easy-to-understand presentation of the complex and multifaceted nature of paraphilias, this book will seek to explore occurrences of paraphilia across different cultures and time periods. We will examine the underpinnings of these desires, drawing upon research and insights from the field of psychology. We will also discuss the stigma surrounding unconventional desires.

Although this book is a straight-forward, no-nonsense and nonjudgmental approach to paraphilias, it is important to note that the author in no way condones or promotes harmful or nonconsensual behaviors. The main purpose of this book is to foster understanding, acceptance and empathy, while also addressing the ethical and legal considerations surrounding paraphilic disorders, and also to provide comfort and guidance for anyone struggling with their sexual thoughts or behaviors.

Whether you are a psychology enthusiast, a curious reader or someone personally affected by paraphilia, Forbidden Desires offers a balanced and insightful exploration of this intriguing subject matter. Join me as we try to navigate the territory of taboos, seeking to understand and embrace the diverse tapestry of human desires without prejudice.

Between the Sheets of Time

Sex is the mysticism of materialism and the only possible religion in a materialistic society.

― H. L. Menchen

They say that every generation looks at the past through the lens of the present. As society’s attitudes change over time, what was once considered normal sexual behavior can later be seen as deviant, or vice versa.

Take, for example, the ancient Greeks and Romans, whose sexual attitudes were far more permissive than our own modern sensibilities. Pederasty, while concerning to us today, was commonly accepted and even encouraged in certain contexts as a means of emotional and intellectual mentorship. The relationship between adult men (erastes) and young boys (eromenos), was a distinct cultural practice, although not solely about sexual relations. In a cultural context, the relationship was seen as a form of education and personal development and encompassed a broader mentorship dynamic, emphasizing emotional and intellectual guidance. The older man would act as a mentor or tutor, providing guidance not only in matters of academics, but also in the development of virtues and social skills. The sexual aspect of the relationship was considered a part of this mentorship rather than the primary focus.

In ancient Mesopotamia, the concept of sexual deviance was closely tied to religious beliefs and societal norms. Homosexuality, for example, was not seen as inherently deviant, but rather as a question of power dynamics and social roles. Ancient Egyptian society, on the other hand, had strict rules surrounding sexuality, with adultery and homosexuality considered taboo. In ancient Greece, homosexual relationships were not uncommon, and in the Roman empire, sexual behavior was less regulated, with a focus on gender roles and power dynamics.

In Rome, public bath houses were known sites of casual gay sex and prostitution. Certain sexual practices, such as incest and bestiality, were still considered taboo in Rome, but according to certain sources, some emperors indulged in incest and cross-dressing. Suetonius, in his work The Lives of the Twelve Caesars, suggests that emperor Nero had an inappropriate relationship with his mother, Agrippina the Younger, which fueled speculation and scandal in ancient Rome. However, these accounts may have been influenced by political biases, sensationalism or a desire to depict Nero in a negative light. Ancient historical sources are not always reliable, and the political climate of Nero’s time, marked by conspiracies and power struggles, could have contributed to the propagation of rumors aimed at tarnishing his reputation. Although accounts provided by ancient historians should be approached with caution, what today might be considered fetishism or paraphilic was often tolerated, as long as it remained private.

Jumping ahead a few centuries, the Victorian era ushered in a wave of prudishness and moral outrage towards non-procreative sex acts. Masturbation, homosexuality and anything deemed unnatural became targets of condemnation and medical censure. Doctors warned of dire physical and mental health consequences from deviant behaviors. Influenced by a combination of religious doctrines and evolving societal norms, Victorian society viewed self-pleasure as a sinful and harmful act. Medical professionals, moralists and religious authorities propagated various myths and misconceptions about the adverse effects of masturbation on physical and mental health. Common myths included the notion that it could lead to physical and mental illnesses, such as blindness, insanity and a host of other ailments. These unfounded beliefs were often employed to discourage individuals, particularly young people, from engaging in what was considered a taboo practice. Unfortunately, this period in time had a huge influence on the later discourse around human sexuality, including defining paraphilias of all sorts as mental disorders in need of treatment or cure.

Yet if we peek behind closed doors, it seems Victorian repression drove such interests further underground rather than eliminating them. Literature of the time, like Leopold von Sacher-Masoch’s Venus in Furs, which deals openly with BDSM themes, hinted that unconventional proclivities still held hidden appeal. Private diaries, letters and forensic records illustrate how flagellation, cross-dressing, incest fantasies and other taboos persisted even in Britain’s most proper households.

In ancient cultures, many paraphilias were simply seen as natural variations, accepted so long as performed discreetly and consensually between adults. Only with the rise of Victorian sexual ideals, and later Freudian psychoanalysis, did they become defined as deviant or synonymous with mental disorders. However, digging into history reveals humanity’s fascination with exploring the limits of pleasure and identity has always existed below society’s approved surface. The modern tolerance for diversity in civilized societies both reflects changing times and harkens back to past eras of more open-mindedness.

Where the Greeks and Romans took a more permissive view of gender and sexuality, attitudes varied widely across time and culture. For example, certain Native American tribes accepted and even revered berdaches, a term that historically referred to individuals who didn’t conform to traditional gender roles. These third-gender individuals, assigned male at birth, adopted a more feminine social role and sometimes engaged in receptive sex with men. Sometimes called Two-Spirit people, these individuals held a unique and respected role within their communities prior to European colonization. The roles and contributions of berdaches varied among different tribes, but they were commonly involved in activities such as healing, spiritual practices and serving as mediators between genders.

In many Native American cultures, the acceptance of berdaches was rooted in spiritual beliefs. Some tribes believed that individuals embodying both masculine and feminine qualities had a special connection to the spiritual realm