All Our Tragic - Part III: All Our Tragic, #3

By Sean Graney

"By whatever alchemy, it serves the greatest collection of stories ever written — adds to them, modernizes them, makes them feel fresh, forces you to see them both strange and familiar...There has not been anything quite like this ever before." - THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE

A contemporary Festival of Dionysus! This massive work by playwright Sean Graney undertakes a day-long play retelling of the thirty-two surviving Greek tragedies. PART III: PATRIOTICS includes:

IPHIGENIA IN AULUS
THE TROJAN WOMEN
RHESUS
PHILOCTETES
AJAX
HECUBA
THE PERSIANS

 

"All Our Tragic is a sprawling, messy, at-times-brilliant show, much like the lives of those it portrays and would hope to honor. It is a singular achievement, one not likely to be repeated any time soon." - GAPERS BLOCK, CHICAGO

"We see the full range of relationships between husbands and wives, parents and children, sisters and brothers, politicians and citizens, generals and soldiers. We see the horrors and insanity of war in all their extremity, the gruesome payback for sexual betrayals, the high price paid for loyalty, the futility of prophecy and the wages of guilt. We see people driven to acts of both devotion and madness. We feel the lust for power, the ache for home, and the inevitability of death." - CHICAGO SUN-TIMES

"An ambitious production that exceeds expectation (as if it's possible to even know what to expect of a 12-hour performance!), All Our Tragic is simply unforgettable, on so many levels. It's not really a show or even a play, but an experience, a total immersion into the imaginations of Sean Graney and the Greeks. The end result is that the tragedies of Aeschylus, Sophocles and Euripides really do become ours: they are all our tragic." - STAGE AND CINEMA

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sordelet Ink
• Release date: Dec 7, 2023
• ISBN: 9781957328287

Book preview

Prologue

(Blackboard review—the only names that should be in tact are ΦILOKTETES, PATROKLOS, THESEUS, JASON, KALCHAS, AGAMEMNON, ODYSSA, MENELAUS and two of SEVEN SISTERS: KLYTAIMNESTRA and HELEN; the Death Tally should be thirty-six)

(ODD-JOB ALICE enters wearing a military nurse’s uniform with a guitar. ODD-JOB SOAPY enters wearing an identical uniform and carrying another guitar)

ODD-JOB ALICE

Another night, Odd-Job Soapy.

ODD-JOB SOAPY

Where’s the new one?

(ODD-JOB ERDIE enters, eating some food)

ODD-JOB ERDIE

Oh Soapy, did you try this food?

ODD-JOB SOAPY

We’re back now, Erdie, time to announce and sing.

ODD-JOB ERDIE

One more bite… Okay, I’m ready.

ODD-JOB ALICE

Part 3: Patriotics.

(The ODD-JOBS sing)

[THE SONG TO PURIFY, REPRISE]

Act V

(ODD-JOB ALICE opens a big sliding door. Enter IPHIGENIA, with glorious black hair, enjoying sights. The song ends)

ODD-JOB ALICE

Year 53, a different story.

ODD-JOB ERDIE

Iphigenia.

IPHIGENIA

I love this time of day,

When the air wraps us all in a calm chill,

It’s like air becomes us, and we become the air,

It makes one happy to be alive.

Port of Pride, you are the perfect place to get married,

And to the handsome Achilles, too,

I’m so light I could die.

(Enter NEOPTOLEMUS)

NEOPTOLEMUS

Hello.

IPHIGENIA

Hi. Are you lost, young one?

NEOPTOLEMUS

No, I live here in Pride now, my father is getting ready to fight in Troy,

But couldn't find anyone at home to watch me.

I’m Neoptolemus.

IPHIGENIA

I’m Iphigenia.

NEOPTOLEMUS

I just got a new camera before I came,

Can I take your picture?

IPHIGENIA

Of course, Neoptolemus.

(IPHIGENIA strikes a really cute pose for the camera, NEOPTOLEMUS takes a picture)

NEOPTOLEMUS

Thanks.

It’s more peaceful out here than in the camp,

The soldiers are getting really angry.

(Enter two Soldiers, BIG BROTHER and LITTLE BROTHER, their faces covered with bandanas, beating each other bloody)

NEOPTOLEMUS

We should go.

IPHIGENIA

I’m waiting for my father.

NEOPTOLEMUS

Be careful.

(NEOPTOLEMUS exits)

LITTLE BROTHER

Was my monkey, you awful man.

BIG BROTHER

You’re going to kill your Big Brother because I ate your monkey?

LITTLE BROTHER

I’ve killed better men for slighter.

BIG BROTHER

Hold up, Little Brother, look here at this bombshell.

LITTLE BROTHER

Who you here to see, Trixie?

Me, hopefully.

IPHIGENIA

Agamemnon.

LITTLE BROTHER

General Agamemnon always keeps the finest stuff for himself.

BIG BROTHER

We sit around Pride Port for three years wanting these Winds to blow.

LITTLE BROTHER

I’m as mad as the Furies waiting.

BIG BROTHER

I want to just kill things for fun, for fun.

BIG BROTHER + LITTLE BROTHER

Blow Winds blow!

LITTLE BROTHER

Let’s blow some Winds on this girl, Big Brother.

BIG BROTHER

I like where your mind’s at, Little Brother.

IPHIGENIA

Hold on, I’m also here for Achilles, so…

BIG BROTHER

Agamemnon shares everything with his superstar, Achilles.

LITTLE BROTHER

What a bootlicker.

BIG BROTHER

Let’s taste Agamemnon’s little harlot, before hotshot Achilles gets a go.

BIG BROTHER + LITTLE BROTHER

Blow, Winds blow!

(Enter KALCHAS and ΦILOKTETES carrying his axe and the Palladium Bow)

ΦILOKTETES

What’s developing here, Brothers?

KALCHAS

She’s the one, Phillip Teddies, the one.

ΦILOKTETES

What one, Kalchas?

KALCHAS

With hair that falls like winter fire,

From my bat-dream.

Oh, Phillip Teddies, she blows our Winds!

The Winds take us uss to Troy Troy troo,

Squeak squawk the bats.

I told Agamemnon, I told Odyssa, Menelaus,

Girl blows the Winds!

So dream the bats.

BIG BROTHER

Speak all you know about our Winds, child-seer,

Or speak ne’er ‘gain.

BIG BROTHER + LITTLE BROTHER

Blow, Winds blow!

(BIG BROTHER and LITTLE BROTHER draw their swords, ΦILOKTETES pulls back the Palladium Bow, the world begins to vibrate with power)

ΦILOKTETES

Seems like a heckuva time to practice shooting Herakles’ Palladium Bow.

LITTLE BROTHER

Easy easy, Φiloktetes.

BIG BROTHER

How does an old tired soldier like you,

Obtain the world’s most powerful weapon?

LITTLE BROTHER

{Oh Brother, he says this story all the time.}

ΦILOKTETES

Herakles was my dearest friend…

KALCHAS (knowing the story)

…Dearest friend…

ΦILOKTETES

In suffering, he called for a funeral pyre,

And for someone to ignite the flames…

KALCHAS

…Night the flames…

ΦILOKTETES

None could…

KALCHAS

…Nope, none…

ΦILOKTETES

…Except for me.

KALCHAS

…Phillip Teddies…

ΦILOKTETES

…As a reward I received his Palladium Bow.

KALCHAS

…Palladium Bow.

BIG BROTHER

Lower the bow, we won’t harm your pet-astrologer,

This girl however, might not be so lucky.

(AGAMEMNON enters with the Trident of Leadership)

AGAMEMNON

Soldiers! How dare you address my daughter.

LITTLE BROTHER

Your daughter, General Agamemnon?

We didn’t know sir, sorry.

BIG BROTHER

Kalchas connected your daughter to…

(AGAMEMNON hits BIG BROTHER with the Trident of Leadership)

KALCHAS

{The bats say, that’s the murder weapon, The Trident of Leadership.}

ΦILOKTETES

Kalchas, sh.

(ΦILOKTETES gives KALCHAS a snack)

LITTLE BROTHER

General Agamemnon, we want to have glory in Troy.

And to fight along side legendary warriors like Achilles and Ajax.

BIG BROTHER

We’ll follow you sir, to our deaths gladly.

But only if you sail us to Troy.

LITTLE BROTHER

I would gladly be the first to die…

KALCHAS

{He is.}

(An ODD-JOB crosses off LITTLE BROTHER’S name)

LITTLE BROTHER

…but for your sake, General Agamemnon, for the sake of us thousands of men you lead,

Get us our Troy Winds.

BIG BROTHER + LITTLE BROTHER

Blow, Winds blow!

(BIG and LITTLE BROTHERS exit)

AGAMEMNON

Φiloktetes, hide Kalchas somewhere.

ΦILOKTETES

What this is about?

AGAMEMNON

Just keep Kalchas away from the soldiers,

And out of range of