Health , Wealth, Sex, and Alaska: The Little Blue Book

By Paul Drummond

Largely a travelogue written from an Alaskan perspective, highlighting the things to see, do and how best to get there...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Archway Publishing
• Release date: Nov 30, 2023
• ISBN: 9781665752992

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HEALTH , WEALTH,

SEX, AND ALASKA

The Little Blue Book

WRITTEN BY

PAUL DRUMMOND

And edited by Suzy Hill

Copyright © 2023 Paul Drummond.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Archway Publishing

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.archwaypublishing.com

844-669-3957

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-6657-5298-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6657-5299-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023921522

Archway Publishing rev. date: 11/20/2023

NOTICE TO ALL READERS: This is NOT a PICTURE BOOK, NO PICTURES are included. Rather it is a selective compendium of facts and encounters, not usually found in the average travel publications available to the north bound visitor.

Instead I believe that I have included a few stories and formatted as follows: "FACTS, NOTES and ADVICE (recommendations), free of the usual travel hype of the average travelog

My version is one that comes from an Alaskan with an Alaskan P.O.V, If the reader requires picture then I would recommend a subscription to

MILEPOST MAGAZINE, is a good place to start.

DEDICATION

Notice to all the readers, publishers, and

others who helped me with this tomb.

to my disloyal mutt Goose

AND

her loyal companion my cat Steve

(aka Chew Toy),

AND

as always, to GROVER my house

RABBIT (may HE Forever RIP)

CONTENTS

FOREWORD

INTRODUCTION

FORMATTING

DISCLAIMER

A GENERAL ADVISORY

MY ALASKAN PEDIGREE

FACT #1

FACT #2

I: HEALTH, WEALTH, SEX, AND ALASKA

BEGINNING WITH HEALTH.

WEALTH

...FIVE BUCKS IN A SNOWBANK…

SEX

AND ALASKA

TERRITORY

II: ME, ME, ME, ..ME.

…THE ODDS ARE GOOD.

A MARINER’S CHOICE

III: REMOTE LIVING: THE ALSKAN MOUNTAIN MAN AND THE FRONTIERSMAN LIVING OFF THE GRID

IV: THE PRINCE WILLIAM SOUND EXXON VALDEZ, OIL SPILL

YEAR TWO

V: SINKING OF THE EAGLE, THE HALLOWS EVE STORM: MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY

SOS NOT HEARD

THE USCG ADVISORY BROADCAST

COINCIDENCE

THE OTHER VESSEL

A SURVIVOR’S ACCOUNT

VI: RECOMMENDED SIGHTS, WORTH VISITING WHILE IN ALASKA

VII: THE INDIGENOUS PEOPLE, SUBSISTENCE LIVING AND VILLAGE LAW

VIII: OFF-ROAD, YOU, YOUR ATV AND PERMAFROST

IX: THE VALLEY OF TEN THOUSAND SMOKES, & LAKE BECHAROF

X: GHOSTS OF THE TUNDRA

XI: LOCAL COLOR

ROSEY’S BAR AND GRILL

THE IDITAROD SLED DOG RACE

THE NORTHERN ARCTIC GROUND SQUIRREL,

THINGS TO DO IN ALASKA

OFF SEASON, ALASKA EVENTS:

XII: EVERYTHING ELSE

THE WAR OF 1812

TERMS

FLYING THE COASTAL ROUTE FROM THE ARCHIPELAGO TO SOUTH CENTRAL, ALASKA.

SEYMOUR CANAL AND GLASS PENINSULA

PORTLAND CANAL

LYNN CANAL

DAWSON CITY, CANADA, ROBERT SERVICE’S CABIN

LAKE ILIAMNA, NON DALTON, KING SALMON, AND NAKNEK

THE MACHO, MACHO, MACHO MOUNTAIN MAN

POOLSIDE

PRIMETIME ALASKA

RAINY AND ANAKTUVUK PASS

TALKEETNA

SITKA

FREDERICK SOUND

CAPE FANSHAW

KASAAN BAY

PINK SALMON

ABALONE: CAPE CHACON TO PORT PROTECTION

SHAKY AT BEST

HOURLY TREMORS

THE NEWBIE

STATEHOOD

LAWLESSNESS

YAKUTAT

TOURIST & TOURS

THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE,

THE NETWORK, MEDIA VERSION

COMMUNITY

WHALE PORN

XII.V: OP-ED

THE HOAX

THE BEST ROUTE NORTH

A FISH FOR WINTER

A SENIOR’S RANT

A CRUISE ROUTE

CRUISE ROUTES

SOUR GRAPES?

FOREWORD

As succinctly as I can state it, I’ve tried to compose this brief and easy to read condensed (introductory) version of Alaskan Facts for our welcome tourists, aviators, mariners sportsmen, hikers, frontiersmen, over the road travelers, and/or potential residents. Otherwise it might just be an easy read for the curious or for the dreamers who ponder such understanding and wisdom. As a 21, year resident, and paid traveler, mariner, bush pilot, sportsman, and adventurer of the Great Land, I believe I can best describe, explain and advise all who seek a more founded understanding and insight than the average travelogue has to offer. And for those life-long retirees that are contemplating the once in a lifetime retirement trip to Alaska.

INTRODUCTION

A 21 plus year resident having lived in both southeast Alaska(in the so-called panhandle), and interior (westward) Alaska, I believe I can attest to the fact that there are at least two different versions of Alaska. Also, as a former down south (lower 48) resident, I am fully able to anticipate and define contrasting perspectives and opinions. It is often the case, a lower 48 perspective perspective is one that might evoke a less than friendly response. As they might in fact, seem a bit arrogant or heady, it is because the what, whys, and hows of Alaska living can only be accurately explained via the experience and insight of a local. Because of issues of regionality, there are many discernible differences that may vary from region to region; and because I have encountered and experienced the varying localities and settings (to include the often unique idiosyncratic industries of the region), I can assure the visitor that to be, or even gain some insight into what makes the Great Land such a unique and desirable setting, you have to understand the people as the sparsely populated inhabitants of America’s Last Frontier".

To those hardy souls and adventurers who are planning to relocate to rural Alaska, I can assure you that my little book may well be the best reference guide for any such consideration.

I further contend most significantly, the information contained herein is both candidly and contextually mindful of various Alaskan biases, local priorities, and predominant influences of the many regions of the Alaskan outback. As of the this telling, I am asserting that my version of Alaska is:

1.relevant

2.historically accurate with respect to its derivation of names, rituals, and legends.

3.lists most of the regions, localities, and divisions unique to the state.

4.a factual expose’ on the so-called remote lifestyle

5.an update on Alaskan trends, interests and self awareness

6.an explanation and identification of local indigenous populations, their localities, differences, and unique traditions.

7.a telling of facts relating to subsistence living, including the practices, localities and community support.

8.an informational update on the enforcement and the unique legal structure of "village law.

9.a logical easy to read formatting via FACT(s), NOTE(S), and "ADVICE."

10.a general advisory for aviators, mariners, visitors travelers (by road), tourists and especially the potential resident.

11.a route advisory for those tourist patrons visiting Alaska for the first time.

12.lists any expectation regarding local protocols.

13.identifies the need for certain patronage of industries and endeavors of the various cultures and regions.

14.a reality check and possibly even more importantly, an antithetical clarification of the media contrived and fallacious portrayal of living off the grid in remote Alaska.

FACT: As these elements represent only a modicum of local priorities and requisite insights, a more detailed explanation of facts and historical effects may be necessary to further understand the mindset and reality of the regional variations of Alaskan living–the actual from a staged reality a la Wall Street..

NOTE: In the interest of brevity and with respect to certain historical facts, that are so convoluted and extensive, I have opted to leave such details and specifics to the curiosity and diligence of the reader. Instead, I believe that my condensed and succinct version of the real and factual rendition of Alaskana (a reference to the atypical and usual Alaskan bias, perceptions, and practices) will suffice.

NOTE: For the tourist, visitor and/or traveler alike, be advised that your choice of cruise lines and transportation can be extremely important as certain venues, ports of call, and weather can affect the overall success of your trip.

ADVICE: Travelers, please understand that the last few miles of the Canadian/Alaskan Highway(commonly known as the ALCAN) i.e., from the Canadian Customs facility in Canada to the Alaskan border at Northway is unmaintained and in the winter is notoriously impassable with a two wheel drive vehicle.

Although Alaska is a big state, not so the intellect of its people. In land mass. Alaska is the largest state in the Union (sorry Texas). However, having one of the most self-deceived and delusional populations, which boasts that it is America’s ‘Last Frontier," seemingly oblivious to the fact that almost all of Alaska is federally owned and/or under the control U. S.Government.

While, admittedly not the frontier it once was, it has nonetheless retained enough of its relics and features of its past to draw the interest of many who either subscribe to the myth of Alaska as the last frontier or those who might revere the. Physical artifacts of a historical event. Although Alaska is no longer the lawless frontier it once was, various statehood dissenter groups suggest that if Alaska was to become too circumspect via a Federal takeover, the notion of a last frontier might cease to be applicable thereafter Alaska’s annual draw of visitors and tourists would diminish. Irrespective of the state’s continued growth, so too has its trend toward urbanization. Becoming less of a rural population favoring instead the more modern metropolitan setting of its largest and most modern and fast growing city in Alaska, Anchorage. The mythical image of a primitive out-back has substantially lessened from. Its former frontier image. However, as most Alaskans still believe in the myth that they reside in America’s last frontier, and that separate from the various settlements of indigenous people the subsistence lifestyle of the stoic frontier homesteader still persists. And due to its legacy of an alleged lawless past, territorial Alaska whether factual or not, has garnered a reputation of national provenance that seems to affirm it as America’s last frontier."

Conversely the argument from the more progressive and modern residents of Alaska imagines a more normative version–specifically, aspiring to become cohesive law-abiding population of Americans. As long as the stereotypical version of America’s last frontier persists, affiliation with the downtrodden remote lifestyle of our territorial wild west will exist. As envisioned, Alaska’s most recent legacy as the lawless land of America’s past, and therein implied, irreverence toward modern societal norms (usually associated with federal jurisdictions). The founding principles of self-determinism will continue to draw the wanna-be homesteader, armchair mountain man, and/or curious visitor to the Alaskan outback. However as homesteading is no longer popular nor legal, and as there has only been a slight decline in tourism since the on-set of Covid 19, it would seem unlikely. America’s best hope for a frontier state would be somewhat forgotten if not for incessant plethora of network reality shows depicting their version of frontier life in" remote Alaska.

FORMATTING

With respect to FORMATTING: the layout and formatting logic of this publication is hopefully a no brainer Each section is preceded by a statement of Fact that is corrected, unembellished and a factual version. After which the individual reader might reassess their interest and/or expectation. Next is usually the supporting evidence as signified by the heading NOTE(s) and finally, the author may hopefully suggests information "ADVICE" that is more factual, relevant and alternatively useful.

DISCLAIMER

All accounts, experiences, and information related herein were in no way scripted by nor influenced by Artificial Intelligence (AI). All such accounts and information provided were a matter of (first hand) personal experience–no hear-say nor travel industry hype.

And furthermore, I must apologetically confess to the misleading title of this tomb. However, based on what I discovered with my first two books: Horsefeathers, Understanding Grampa and Horsefeathers, The Book, aka What was Grandma Thinking? Specifically, it led me to understand that the more provocative or racey" title may attract more readers, sell more books and possibly affect a substantive and meaningful means of helping out some of the many folks who (for whatever reason) are coming north.

It is my hope that my brief collection of lesser known facts, might actually be of some value for the traveler, tourist, aviator, mariner, sportsman, mountaineer, hiker and most especially useful for those contemplating a move to Alaska

FACT: Access to Alaska can be affected by Road (the ALCAN highway) water (The Inside Passage), the Gulf of Alaska or by Airline (to almost any place in Alaska).

NOTE: A note to the industry: in no way is this an attempt to minimize the input of various other reputable travel entities, sponsors, or Chamber travelogs. However, I believe I would be remiss if I did not advise our visiting public of the fact that there are some unscrupulous travel entities that for their benefit will only align themselves with events celebrations (staged venues) which they devise and control or are just out of season. The visitors need to know that not all travel entities are complicit.

ADVICE: As a note to the visitors, when choosing a travel agency, be informed, critical and diligent– buyer beware. Make sure to amply vet any such industry for confirmation of venue, i.e., for honesty/credibility, authenticity, and contextual relevance. Contact with the most reputable of firms may reveal possible shortcomings of the venues being offered, usually at a lesser price.

ADVICE: If you have endured the expense of making, the trip then don’t become a spend-thrift when you have already spent so much getting here. Find a means of writing up a review or by some other method and publicize the results of your suspect company. If possible, be thorough and unbiased.

NOTE: Due to certain unavoidable seasonal restrictions and appropriateness, access to certain events and ceremonies have been deliberately excluded from some of the more reputable venues. However, such oversights are unavoidable but predictable and be advised that although your findings may dissuade or otherwise deter the occasional visitor, know that you might have helped a fellow traveler. Such is the vulnerability of the travel industry and that meaningless excursions may leave one to wonder how some of the travel companies can include the non-even event. Usually it is a come-on. to a different venue at an additional cost.

NOTE: Aviators because much of the seasonal information that can affect approaches, departures or certain conditions which may occasionally effect runway conditions, It is recommended that the aviator pay attention to all NOTAMS relating to the intended area

A GENERAL ADVISORY

ADVICE: Aviators, if contemplating flying the archipelago (Southeast, Alaska) via the coastal route, unless you have deicing capability and are IFR rated, don’t!

FACT: Aviators, please understand that the weather between Dixon’s Inlet and Haines, Alaska can change hourly and that aviation weather forecasting for the region is most often more colloquial than area wide. Regardless of the reported weather,