Something to Live For

By Kaileen West

She trips over nothing, is more intelligent than the average high school student, and frankly couldn’t care less about guys.

Sure, Kaitlyn has her crazy friends. They are there for her when her parents are not and get her through all the high school drama. But when Bryant walks into Kaitlyn’s life and shows her what love is, she forgets all her worries, her cares, and her friends.

One rainy night rips Kaitlyn’s world apart. Bryant and her friends are gone, and her mother is about to walk out the front door forever.

Where is God in all of this?

High school. The time of your life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Oct 6, 2023
• ISBN: 9781312037953

Book preview

1

I was Alice. And my school, the Red Queen.

I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!

I went through my mental checklist as I ran out the door and down the street.

I gasped.

I left my lunch on the counter!

My feet slowed but I knew I had no time to go back for it. As I sped up again and turned down the next street, I saw my best friend, Jess, running toward the school as well.

She did leave without me.

Hey, wait up Jess!

She stopped and tightened her ponytail of straight brown hair. Sorry, I didn’t know if you were ready yet.

I finally caught up and doubled over panting.

She took off running again. C’mon! We can still make it!

Groaning I straightened back up and ran. Mentally I braced myself for another exciting day, starting with physics.

The bell rang as we walked into class.

Stacie’s perfectly curled blonde hair bounced as she turned in her chair and smiled as we took our seats next to her. I thought you guys weren’t going to make it.

I started to explain myself, but Jess cut in.

Kaitlyn was running late. Again.

I shrugged. Sorry. Apparently my alarm turned itself off.

Stacie rolled her clear blue eyes. Yeah, sure it did.

Ladies! Class has started. Mr. Fraud glared at us from over his gold-rimmed, too big glasses.

Why he got on our case and not the class clowns, who were already throwing pens at each other was beyond me. He continued to drone on and on about a test we were about to take.

I groaned. It’s too early in the morning to be taking a physics test.

Stacie nodded and took a sip of her coffee. Way too early.

A blaring alarm cut Mr. Fraud off mid monologue and the class cheered. He tried to yell above the din telling us to stay together and such, but half of the class was already out the door and down the hall.

I followed the mob toward the basketball courts and suddenly realized I was with the wrong class. I scanned the crowd for Jess or Stacie but they were nowhere to be found.

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

I pulled out my phone.

1 New Message

From: Jess

where’d u go

To: Jess

idk. i got with the

wrong class

From: Jess

nice. we’ll cover for you.

To: Jess

thanks

I tried to blend in with the crowd when I noticed Bryant and a basketball player I’d seen before shooting hoops. During the fire drill.

Seriously?

They were asking for trouble. I hung back, but stayed close enough to watch the drama. Bryant’s friend passed him the ball. Bryant took a shot and missed. Lucky for him, his buddy caught the rebound. They laughed and high-fived and the girls all swooned.

I crossed my arms and sighed unimpressed. I knew what kind of guys they were and wanted nothing more to do with them.

I mean, sure, they were super cute, but come on. Have a little humility.

Bryant tried another shot and actually made it. Everyone cheered again only to stop abruptly when the Assistant Principal caught the ball. I was too far away to hear the conversation, but by the looks of things, Bryant’s friend wouldn’t be getting his ball back.

I smiled to myself.

Pride comes before the fall.

Finally the bell rang telling us to head back to class. I hoped that someone would pull it again so I wouldn’t have to take that test. My mind was in no state to think physics, but it was wishful thinking.

I walked back into the classroom about the same time as the rest of my class. Jess and Stacie were already seated.

Stacie turned around in her chair. Hey, Kaitlyn. Where’d you go? We turned around and you were gone.

I sat down. I got lost in another class I guess.

Mr. Fraud put a test on my desk. No talking. He glared at me from over his glasses.

Stacie smiled at me and we started on our tests.

It was more like a college entrance exam and it took all period. My brain was fried by the time I walked into my next class, AP history. And then, calculus. I wholeheartedly left that class for lunch, normally the highlight of my day.

Jess and Stacie both ditched me. Jess had a test to make up and Stacie had some cheerleader meeting. So I sat in my spot against the wall of the gym and decided to do some homework, seeing as how I’d forgotten my lunch. I was working on a particularly difficult calculus problem when someone tripped over my legs. A phone went skittering across the cement.

I set my books aside and jumped up apologizing. Picking up the iPhone, I checked for any damage.

What the hell? Lindsey glared at me, flipped her straightened red hair, and snatched her phone from me. ‘Sorry,’ doesn’t cut it!

I took a step back. I’m sorry! I really am.

Yeah right, bitch. You’re gonna pay for this!

She closed in on me and I backed up against the wall of the gym as a small group gathered around us, eager for a fight. Her fist connected with my head and I fell to the pavement. The area above my eye started to throb.

A guy’s voice rose above the chants for a fight.

Lindsey! Calm down! Bryant maneuvered his way through the crowd and stood defensively between Lindsey and me.

I stood up and backed into the wall.

Lindsey glared at Bryant. Why would you even bother defending her? She’s a--

Lindsey. Stop. Bryant’s voice was firm.

Her fiery green eyes darted back and forth between Bryant and me. Fists clenched, she stormed off in the direction of the cafeteria.

Bryant held his hand out for me. Are you okay?

His ocean blue eyes locked with mine.

I forgot how to breathe.

Did she hurt you?

No, I’m fine, I lied and quickly stood up, ignoring his offered hand.

He handed me my Calc book.

Thank you. I couldn’t help looking in his eyes. A mistake on my part.

He smiled a crooked smile. You’re welcome.

I couldn’t help but smile back. My cheeks grew warm and my heart pounded as I turned to leave.

His smooth voice stopped me. Wait, what’s your name?

I turned around but my voice caught in my throat.

His buddy from the fire drill appeared behind him. Hey, Bryant! Where’d you go?

Bryant glanced over his shoulder.

Taking advantage of his distraction I slipped into the lunch crowd and hurried to the girls’ bathroom.

I ducked into the girl’s restroom. Splashing cold water on my face, I tried to calm down.

Get a grip! He’s a self-centered jerk, just like the rest.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror and leaned over the sink to get a better look at my forehead. There was a nice tear just above my eyebrow and I could feel a bruise forming already. I fingered my auburn hair to fall just right to hide it.

Taking a deep breath, I straightened my sweatshirt and adjusted the straps of my backpack.

Only two more classes…

The rest of the day I couldn’t keep my mind off Bryant. Was he the arrogant boy from the fire drill or the sweet boy from lunch? Only time would tell. That is, if I ever saw him again.

My cell phone rang as soon as I entered my house.

Hello?

Kaitlyn? It’s Stacie. She was panting.

Hey. I sat on our shabby gray couch and pulled my knees to my chest. Why are you so out of breath?

I tried to race Jessie home.

"That was smart."

I know… Soccer players.

Picking up my stuff I headed down the hall to my room. Hey now, miss cheerleader. Can’t you keep up?

Apparently not!

I laughed.

So. She paused. I know I called you for some reason.

I tossed my backpack on my bed and sat on my floor leaning against the wall. But you can’t remember?

Nope.

Was it about... Physics?

Oh! Yeah, that was it. Was that test like, super hard? Or am I just dumb?

No, it was hard. Standing up I headed to the bathroom to check on my cut.

"Okay. I thought it was just me. I was freaking out for a second, like ‘I’m gonna be the only one who fails!’"

"No. You definitely won’t be the only one."

What are you saying? That I’m doomed to fail?

I laughed. No silly. Do you seriously think you’ll fail, though?

"Maybe. Do you? I mean, do you think you’ll fail?"

I flipped on the bathroom light. I might. I didn’t do well. That’s for sure.

Wow. I look terrible.

Stacie started to protest but I cut her off. Hey, Stacie? I need to go. You know, homework and stuff. So I’ll talk to you later, okay?

Okay! T.T.Y.L.!

I laughed. Bye. Tilting my head, I leaned over the counter to get a better look at the ugly red tear over my eye.

Yuck!

After cleaning it up I went back to my room. I pushed my backpack off my bed and climbed in to sleep my day away.

That night I could hardly keep my mind on my homework. How could I, with all that had happened? My mind would drift from math, to Bryant, to science, to Bryant again, and then back to math.

I was glad my dad got home late. He wasn’t around long enough to notice the cut. As I went to bed that night, I prayed tomorrow would be a better day.

I woke up early and didn’t bother trying to go back to bed. I probably would have slept through my alarm again anyway. So I turned my alarm off and went to take a shower. The hot water felt good on my tight muscles. It was over all too soon though. I looked at myself in the mirror and was shocked at how bruised my forehead was around the cut. It stood out against my pale skin. I sighed and went back to my room wrapped in my towel to get dressed. I decided I’d wear an old, gray summer camp T-shirt and my favorite pair of jeans. After I finished getting dressed I pulled on my shoes and crossed the front room heading for the kitchen.

I paused noticing my dad sleeping on the couch again, still dressed in his suit. When I looked at the clock above the front door and saw that it was only seven, I quietly went back to my bathroom and brushed out the tangles in my long auburn hair.

What am I going to do about that bruise?

I put my brush on the counter and reached all the way to the back of the top drawer where I’d stashed the makeup I’d gotten from Stacie for my birthday the year before. I’d never once thought about using it since Stacie had given it to me.

I opened the powder foundation and found the biggest makeup brush that looked like it was supposed to go with it. Not wanting to get makeup in my hair, I put it up in a ponytail. As I applied the foundation I was surprised that it actually blended with my skin color. I’d have to thank Stacie again. After I had caked my forehead the bruise looked more like I ran into something than like someone punched me. That worked for me. Because my dad would totally flip if he knew I was in a fight. I used my fingers to blend it into the rest of my skin as best I could so it wouldn’t be so obvious I had makeup on.

After I put my watch on, I grabbed my cell phone and headed to the kitchen for breakfast. My dad was up and having cereal at our small kitchen table.

Hey, Dad. Did we get more milk?

He glanced up from his bowl. Uh, no. I’m having mine with yogurt.

Oh, okay. I walked over to the kitchen counter and pulled out a slice of bread.

My dad didn’t say another word all morning. Not as I fixed myself a piece of toast. Plain, we were out of butter and jam. Or when my mom finally came home and crashed on the couch, drunk again. He didn’t even respond when I said goodbye, grabbing my backpack and toast to go. I couldn’t stand to be in the house anymore.

I arrived at school very early so I called Jess to let her know not to wait for me and that I’d see her in class. I saw Bryant arrive and was about to go over and talk to him when Lindsey showed up and changed my mind for me. Just before the first bell rang a breeze made my cut sting and I remembered I had my hair up. Not wanting to show off my black and blue forehead I pulled the hairband out and put it on my wrist.

Science went as usual. A boring lecture that no one understood and had to be repeated twice. Mr. Fraud also brought up the test. I did okay, actually. I was surprised. And, of course, Mr. Fraud went on and on about how many kids didn’t do well and how they needed to start paying more attention. Blah, blah, blah.

I tried my best to hide my cut and prayed that the makeup was doing it’s job. I played with my hair and kept sweeping it across my forehead. I don’t think Jess or Stacie were fooled though. Word would have spread by now that Lindsey had beat up some nobody and Bryant stood up to her. Jess and Stacie were smart. They’d probably already figured it out.

My suspicions that word had gotten out were confirmed in my other classes as I overheard the gossip going around. Most people wanted to know who the girl was that Bryant would bother defending. I felt a small sort of pride at that. But then I realized I probably would never speak to him again.

At lunch I was left completely alone for the most part. But I left my normal spot by the gym and slipped into the crowd when I saw Bryant coming over. He was probably looking for me. But I just couldn’t talk to him. It’s not that I wanted to avoid Bryant. I wanted him to notice me. But I was too nervous! I was a coward and knew I would just fall all over myself if he ever talked to me again. And I was not trying to making things worse with Lindsey, who had obviously claimed him.

I kept my cut hidden pretty well the rest of the day. Jess asked me if I was hurt when I saw her during passing period, but I said, No, I’m fine, and kept going to my next class. I hated lying to her, but I didn’t need her sympathy. I could take care of myself and didn’t need anyone else’s help.

It was strange that I didn’t see Lindsey again. But I knew I shouldn’t celebrate until I was safe inside my house. She lived down the street and around the corner. I passed her house every day going home. I made a mental note to take the long way home and cut through the park instead.

In an attempt to avoid Lindsey, I left school later than usual. It didn’t do any good. She was waiting for me across the street from the school near Stacie’s house. That was the only