Surrender:: The Unlikely Path to Purpose

By Tiffany Malone

How exactly does one find their purpose? This isn't merely the great question of our age. It is embedded deep within the fabric of our very humanity.

In a practical guide on transformation, healing, and purpose, Tiffany Malone offers a three-part roadmap (the problem, the path, and the purpose) that leads those desiring transformation on a step-by-step journey of a lifetime to fulfill their divine purpose. While asking transformation seekers to challenge many of their deepest beliefs, lifelong assumptions, and ways of seeing the world, Tiffany also invites them to reconcile their account of the past and its many false narratives, reexamine them in the light of truth, and ultimately incorporate a surrender way of life to connect with their incredible true selves and God-ordained purpose. Included are introspective questions, specific actionable steps, and space to reflect on the experience of transformation.

Surrender: The Unlikely Path to Purpose is an uplifting guide that leads those wishing to discover their divine purpose through the challenging process of complete surrender.

“Tiffany Malone guides the reader on a journey of discovering the true essence of surrender … she provides a practical, true-to-life context for the reader to feel the tension in the process of surrender while heading toward a transformative moment of allowing God to drive the proverbial car of our lives.”
—Dr. Orpheus J. Heyward, Professor, Lipscomb University

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Oct 29, 2023
• ISBN: 9798385010578

Tiffany Malone

Tiffany Malone is a speaker, certified coach and mentor, teacher, wife, and mother. She has spent her career advising and developing leaders, and brings her diverse skills and spiritual gifts to the world in ministry as well as entrepreneurially. Tiffany is the founder and principal partner of Bright Eye Coaching and Consulting, LLC. She and her husband, Jerome, have two children.

Book preview

SURRENDER:

The Unlikely Path to Purpose

Tiffany Malone

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Copyright © 2023 Tiffany Malone.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

844-714-3454

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the Holy Bible, King James Version.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis copyright © 1942, 1943, 1944, 1952 C.S. Lewis Pte. Ltd.

Extracts reprinted by permission.

ISBN: 979-8-3850-1055-4 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-1056-1 (hc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-1057-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023920082

WestBow Press rev. date: 10/25/2023

CONTENTS

Foreword

Introduction

Part 1: The Problem

The Problem

Unmasking the Problem

Unmasking the Problem: Root Work

Unmasking the Problem: Convicted?

Unmasking the Problem: Smoke Screens

Unmasking the Problem: Something for Nothing?

Part 2: The Path

G—Acknowledge God

E—Examine Yourself

T—Tell the Truth

L—Lean into the Discomfort

O—Order Your Life

Part 3: The Purpose

W—Walk into Purpose

Acknowledgments

Endnotes

To Jerome, Janaya, and Jerome, Jr.

I love you.

FOREWORD

There are a variety of reasons people read books. At times, it is for personal growth or to learn new skills or strategies to improve themselves, such as increasing self-esteem, developing better relationships, or even managing stress. In other cases, it is an attempt to overcome challenges. Other times, the goal is to experience inspiration and motivation. Books of this nature can be designed to set goals and achieve your dreams. Some read for entertainment or enjoyment.

However, in this practical guide to a very challenging subject, Tiffany Malone has written a powerful piece that seeks to provide an experience of transformation as she uncovers Surrender: The Unlikely Path to Purpose.

The concept of surrender can have different meanings depending on the context in which it is used. Generally, surrender refers to giving up or yielding to something or someone, and it involves relinquishing control or power over a situation or outcome. In a spiritual or philosophical context, surrender can be letting go of the ego and accepting things as they are without resistance or attachment. This often involves surrendering to a higher power or force. Within the Christian context, it is submission to the sovereignty of Christ Jesus as he leads us into the fulfillment of purpose.

While surrender can seem to be an attribute of weakness, it is a display of great strength yet not our own. Surrender is an invitation to depend on God’s power and the sufficiency of his wisdom. Perhaps one of the most challenging tasks one will face will be the decision to surrender. The accentuation of such difficulty is found in the historical record of Matthew as Jesus wrestles with his destiny and is tempted to abandon his divine assignment. In Matthew 26:39, we hear the agony of Jesus as he says, My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will. No words can ever be more arduous to the human experience. We have all had moments when there is a cup before us that we do not desire to drink, yet simultaneously drinking the cup that stands between us and the glory God desires to bestow on us. The willingness to surrender is often the hurdle we must overcome to reach spiritual milestones.

Learning to surrender can be a challenging process. The concept of surrender confronts us to let go. Attachments to people, things, and outcomes can create a sense of control and prevent us from surrendering to the path God has set before us. To this end, surrendering necessitates trust in something greater than ourselves, in which God must be acknowledged as the Creator and Sustainer of our lives. The road to surrender can involve letting go of the need to be perfect or in control while submitting to the One who never loses control.

Tiffany Malone guides the reader on a journey of discovering the true essence of surrender. In addition to providing a clear understanding of the concept, she provides a practical, true-to-life context for the reader to feel the tension in the process of surrender while heading toward a transformative moment of allowing God to drive the proverbial car of our lives.

Tiffany masterfully lays out a three-pronged approach to this journey of surrender as she encourages the reader to explore the problem, the path, and the purpose. Throughout the journey, there is a constant reminder of the relationship between the decision to surrender and the condition of the heart.

Beyond a simplistic approach of simply reading for informational intake, this literary piece purposefully includes poignant questions leading the reader to discover the self and the capacity to surrender. Tiffany Malone pulls from the reservoir of her spiritual journey and undying commitment to the Lord, displaying her personal path to surrender. As an empathetic lecturer, she creates a space for you to feel her words while simultaneously inviting your mind to experience change. It is my prayer that this work will find a lodging place in the consciousness of every reader and find its way into the possession of those who seek to surrender to the sovereignty of our Savior.

Dr. Orpheus J. Heyward

Professor of Expository Preaching and Christian Leadership

Lipscomb University

INTRODUCTION

Surrender:

a. To give (oneself) up into the power of another, especially as a prisoner

b. To give (oneself) over to something (such as an influence)

—Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary

Can I be honest? There’s just something about the word surrender I have never liked. I know, it’s not what the author of a book about surrender should be writing in the introduction, but I’ll bet you can identify. The word just flies in the face of all that our society venerates and holds dear. We don’t surrender. We don’t give up. We fight to the death, right? Those are the things we take most pride in, aren’t they? The things we have fought hardest for.

I love stories of perseverance, overcoming, and winning. Those stories call deeply to what I might be capable of if I try hard enough, apply myself, or dig deeper. Dogged, relentless determination and an unwillingness to quit is the stuff of success. Every movie, play, and good story has this theme embedded in it. Surrender? Well, the idea has always seemed a little, well, lame (to quote my kids).

Don’t get me wrong, I grew up singing I Surrender All at church. It’s not as though the term is foreign to me. But in life, sometimes you learn that a thing isn’t what you’ve thought it was. Sometimes the very thing you’ve been avoiding all along is what you most need. Every now and then, you have a moment when you really hear what you’ve been hearing all your life, that moment when you actually begin to understand what isn’t exactly new to you. It’s when you truly see what has always been right there. Those moments are a gift. They are life changing.

The truth is that God has very unlikely ways of getting us to the places he wants us to be. And it doesn’t matter how you feel about the term, if you’re going to get to your God-ordained purpose, surrender is the way.

Surrender is an education. Surrender is learning. Surrender is unlearning. Surrender is a process. Surrender is a place you get to and a place you continually return to. Surrender is a way of life. I’ve walked it; I’m walking it. And here’s what I’ve found: On the other side of surrender is another world and another path. It’s the path God intends for your life and your good. It’s the path that leads to a beautiful place. It leads to another you.

I’m telling you what I know. Maybe I never liked the word because I thought of surrender as a destination of defeat. Well, that couldn’t have been more wrong. It’s actually a door, a portal, a threshold of sorts. There is something incredible just through the door of surrender, just across the threshold. You can’t imagine it, you have to experience it.

It turns out surrender isn’t such a lame word after all. Who knew? Surrender may seem weak, but I assure you, it’s anything but. To surrender what you think you know will take everything you have and some of what God has. For sometimes you learn that a thing isn’t what you thought it was. Sometimes the very thing you’ve been avoiding all along is what you most need.

So is this book for you? I believe you’re reading this book for a reason—a God-ordained reason.

I can tell you this: If you’ve been wrestling with the same issue for years, this book is for you. If God has called you to something you have yet to fully embrace, or worse, you’re flat-out resisting him, this book is for you. If you’ve encountered some physical, emotional, or relational trauma that you can’t seem to move past, no matter how hard you try, this book is for you.

It’s for you because your purpose is waiting. Your real purpose is actually God’s purpose for you. And that purpose is both revealed and achieved through surrender. Surrender is the unlikely path to purpose.

The fact is that great strength lies in surrender. It sounds paradoxical and hard to believe, but it’s true. Only in surrender can you experience the power to overcome. God has a specific design and purpose for you. He knows the plans he has for you. You’re either going to give him your life’s wheel and allow Him to drive or you’re not, but there can only be one driver. When we allow God to drive (the process of surrender), we find joy, strength, purpose, and fulfillment. When we don’t, there is only constant striving and the realization that without Him, we are weak, frail creatures who are desperately wicked and in need of a Savior.

I can say all this with certainty because, despite me, this book was born from the pain of my experiences and God’s gentle grace toward me. The content of this book was God’s message to me during a season of darkness and chaos. There has since remained a consistent word to me in times of storms and rain, lies and schemes, uncertainties and disappointments. No amount of resistance ever changed it. The word he continued to speak into my spirit was this: surrender, girl! The decision to obey him completely changed my life.

There is no shortcut to becoming the you that God has always intended. It’s called transformation, and it’s the awesome work of God to fulfill his purpose through each of us. So I humbly invite you to take this journey. I ask you to engage as you read this book. I ask you to commit to the process and expect God to do something new within you. I believe nothing in all creation is stronger than a relentless God pursuing his child. And nothing in the mind of man is more powerful than the decision to surrender to him.

Where Are We Headed?

This book is divided into three parts: the problem, the path, and the purpose. The order is intentional. Each chapter is chronological. Each part lays a foundation that builds on the previous one. Additionally, the practical work suggested at the end of each chapter provides the framework and tools you will use in the chapters and the parts that follow. So my recommendation is that you do not skip ahead.

I have laid the book out in a way that takes the reader on a journey. To help facilitate this, I have provided the following at the end of each chapter:

• A brief main idea that encapsulates all that you have read

• One or more questions to assist you in meditating on how to apply this to your journey

• Specific, actionable steps to take so that this truth can shape your life

• Space to reflect on what you’ve learned and room to put your thoughts about what God is revealing

My intent is that you will not simply digest information but also engage in the experience of transformation. Oh, and another thing, I want to hear from you! Please feel free to share with me as you go through your journey. I’m invested in your transformation, and I’m rooting for you while walking right along with you. Let’s do this!

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PART 1

The Problem

Oh, the bitter pain and sorrow

That a time could ever be,

When I proudly said to Jesus

All of self, and none of Thee.

All of self, and none of Thee,

All of self, and none of Thee,

When I proudly said to Jesus,

All of self, and none of Thee.

—Theodore Monod, None of Self and All of Thee¹

THE PROBLEM

Surrender You

The lie: You do you.

—Modern popular culture

The truth: "If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it.

But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it."

—Jesus Christ, Matthew 16:25, NLT

Who are you? Think about that question. No, really. That isn’t rhetorical. I’m actually asking you. Right now as you’re reading this, pause for a moment and answer the question. Here, I’ll make it easy: write down your answer.

Who are you? ______________________________

*Insert music from Final Jeopardy! here*

So how did you answer? It’s a loaded question for sure. It can be very broad or very pointed, depending on how you interpret the question. And of course, how you interpreted the question is as telling as the answer itself.

Typically, people respond with their name, maybe a bit about their family and where they live or where they’re from. Some may pull out their phones and show pictures of their loved ones. Some may answer in terms of their core values and beliefs. Others may begin to speak of what they do for a living, a little about their career, or maybe about their educational background. Some may convey their faith and use the moment to share it. For others, answers can range from hobbies to goals to politics to traveling and everything in between.

There are as many people as there are answers. And if you dig beneath the surface, you will find more. Instinctively, you’ll also realize that if everyone in the world answers the question, an unmistakable theme will appear. It is a theme impossible to overlook—individuality, the essence that makes you, you. I call it your youness.

No one else in the world is you. There is only one you. There are no carbon copies. There are no substitutes. Of all the people who have ever lived on the earth, you are the only you there has ever been. You are the only you there ever will be. Whether you are an identical twin or an only child or from a large family or small, you are still the only you. From your sense of humor to your temperament to your reasoning ability, you are unique. Your thoughts, your affections, your emotional makeup—they’re all you. Your thumbprint will never match any other person’s. It’s yours, an unmistakable sign that you are an original.

But I’m guessing you probably didn’t need me to tell you that. Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last few decades, you’ve seen this youness messaging everywhere. If you have a social media account, you’ve seen it in memes. If you are in the marketplace, you’ve watched the most successful companies win by differentiating themselves from the pack. Entire industries have been disrupted and staple companies have become dinosaurs because of the emergence of a different and original idea. Ethnic and racial groups proudly display the unique characteristics that set them apart. You’ve seen it, I’m sure. It’s everywhere.

It’s God’s honest truth, and it’s beautiful to behold. We have all been created by God, each bearing the image of our glorious Father, shown almost eight billion different ways. In his rich wisdom, our Creator has made no two of us exactly alike. How amazing is that? Each of us brings forth