Beauteous Maximus: Volume Three, The Spirit of Truth

By D. Michael Bertish

Throughout the COVID-19 pandemic that began in late 2019, the author worked as a solo hairstylist in the front parlor of an old Victorian house in the Pacific Northwest.

 

This work is a collection of intimate, fictionalized stories that were inspired by true events and hundreds of conve

• Language: English
• Publisher: Empowered Whole Being Press
• Release date: Nov 10, 2023
• ISBN: 9798218295387

D. Michael Bertish

D. Michael Bertish is an award-winning author, accomplished fine artist and a professional performance artist. A professional production of his play about survivors of the Holocaust, Adroit Maneuvers, touched audiences in 2018. He lives in Washington State where he advocates for environmental protections and civil rights. He adores history, animals, and gardening.

Book preview

Chapters

Prologue

Old Man

Worries

Antithesis

Blame

Hope

Regrets

Myth

Mantra

Butterflies

Rainbows

About the Author

Prologue

On January 30, 2023, after an estimated 20 million global deaths, the World Health Organization announced the COVID pandemic had evolved to a transition point. The Director General explained, "As we enter the fourth year of the pandemic, we are certainly in a much better position now than we were a year ago, when the Omicron wave was at its peak, and more than 70,000 deaths were being reported to WHO each week." Though they warned COVID was still a very present threat, and while the US was continuing to see thousands of cases every week and about 150 deaths every day, epidemiologists remained optimistic because various countries were seen to be actively moving out of the acute phase of the pandemic. Three months later, on May 6, 2023, with one person on the planet still dying of COVID every four minutes, the World Health Organization declared an official end to the COVID global public health emergency. At a news conference in Geneva, the WHO Director General said, For more than a year, the pandemic has been on a downward trend with population immunity increasing from vaccination and infection, mortality decreasing, and the pressure on health systems easing. This trend has allowed most countries to return to life as we knew it before COVID-19. I did not agree that we had yet reached that level of normalcy, but I was hopeful that we would achieve it. After the Director General’s declaration, COVID case counting ceased. Though infections were at the lowest level in more than two years, COVID remained among the top three causes of death in the US, following heart disease and cancer, especially among the elderly and the immunocompromised.

Data released by the CDC showed the newest bivalent booster was effective against the latest strains of the Omicron variant. The problem was that only 10% of the vaccinated US population took advantage of a bivalent dose. But the federal government had purchased enough doses to be given to nearly five times as many people. It was maddening for all that vaccine to have gone to waste. Data showed the efficacy and longevity of the bivalent boosters was weakened by the combination of genetic material from multiple COVID variants, thereby causing scientists to conclude that future vaccines should be monovalent like the annual flu vaccine.

The US Congress chose not to launch a COVID commission to investigate why the nation failed to better contain the virus compared to other wealthy countries. Scientific studies revealed that, had the US been better prepared and more responsive, at least half of the 1.1 million COVID deaths to date in the US could have been prevented. Rampant political polarization killed the opportunity for the US to learn from its mistakes. Instead, the Republicans preferred to blame China and Dr. Fauci for the pandemic while the Democrats were satisfied with blaming Trump. An organized COVID commission could have determined how to reorganize our patchwork of health care systems that were incapable of managing the vast scale of the disaster. A commission would also have analyzed the nation’s response failures in order to prepare for future pandemics that were certain to happen. COVID experts warned the White House that there was a 20 to 30% chance that another significant COVID surge could happen within the next two years. But the national tolerance for that kind of thought was severely lacking.

When Lisa Marie Presley, the only daughter of the world-renowned singer Elvis Presley, tragically died of a heart attack at the age of 54, it only took a few minutes for the anti-vaxx brigade to spread baseless rumors that her death was caused by the COVID vaccines. The online rumors ignored the fact that, like her father, Ms. Presley had a long history of drug abuse that probably weakened her heart. Six months after her death, autopsy findings were published to show that her heart attack was triggered by a severe bowel obstruction following weight loss surgery. There was no evidence of injury or foul play and the cause of death was found to be natural. When a 24-year-old football player for the Buffalo Bills went into cardiac arrest and nearly died after being tackled in the middle of a nationally televised game, the same baseless rumors began circulating millions of times on social media, even before the young player was carried off the field. Those false rumors failed to mention how the young football player experienced severe blunt force trauma when he was tackled and the opposing player’s helmet pummeled a vulnerable pressure point right over his heart. Deceptive videos were shared on social media that claimed various athletes collapsed because of COVID vaccines, but those allegations were proven false.

In February 2023, a Massachusetts Institute of Technology professor’s post went viral on Twitter wherein he alleged: The evidence is mounting and indisputable that mRNA vaccines cause serious harm including death, especially among young people. We have to stop giving them immediately! The professor did not cite studies that provided reliable evidence to support his claim, and he ignored voluminous, high-quality data that proved COVID vaccines were actually beneficial for avoiding cardiac disease. Research published in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology in February 2023 found that COVID vaccination was linked with fewer heart attacks, strokes, and other cardiovascular illnesses. Even those who were infected with COVID while having comorbidities like diabetes, high cholesterol, obesity and liver disease also experienced fewer cardiovascular complications when vaccinated. Researchers from the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai Hospital were surprised to find that even those who were only partially vaccinated were found to have lower risk of heart disease.

Also in February 2023, the CDC officially listed COVID vaccines as routinely recommended for children, adolescents and adults. After that logical step was announced, and after 672 million doses had already been given in the US alone, Republicans in Idaho and North Dakota introduced bills to ban all mRNA COVID vaccines and to make it a crime for anyone to administer them. Since 2021, twelve Republican-led states enacted legislation to restrict or ban COVID vaccines or mask mandates: Arizona, Arkansas, Georgia, Florida, Indiana, Montana, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, and Utah. Conversely, California passed a law that allowed the state’s Medical Board to suspend or revoke a doctor’s license to practice medicine if that doctor was found to have spread false information about COVID vaccines or treatments. The aggressive politicization of COVID was marching the US toward a time when individuals could be prevented from making their own decisions about COVID protection, much like abortion bans revoked the rights of women to manage their own reproductive health. In South Carolina, for example, two dozen right-wing Representatives co-sponsored a new bill that could punish women with the death penalty if they had an abortion. The only hospital in Sandpoint, Idaho was forced to eliminate its obstetrics unit after doctors fled the state. That hospital stopped delivering babies and discontinued perinatal and neonatal care because highly respected physicians refused to work in Idaho after the near-total ban on abortion put them at risk of criminal prosecution. After discussing those developments with one of my older female clients in the styling chair, she blurted out in exasperation, They need to keep their hands out of my vagina!

The day after the World Health Organization announced the transition point of the pandemic, President Biden declared his plan to terminate the national COVID emergency on May 11, 2023, to allow a smooth transition for health care providers. However, President Biden and Vice President Harris continued to hold high-level meetings in the Oval Office where all attendees were masked. Another of my clients shook her head upon hearing that news and said, Oh, so we have a dangerous pandemic on May 10, then ‘poof!’ everything’s hunky-dory on May 11th? How do you wrap your brain around that?

COVID vaccines, treatments and testing kits were no longer free of charge because the US Congress did not authorize additional pandemic funds. Both Pfizer and Moderna announced commercial price increases for their mRNA COVID vaccines up to four times the price paid by the federal government, at $82 to $130 per dose. COVID vaccination became unaffordable for the lower classes, especially those who were uninsured.

I received my first COVID vaccination on Monday, March 8, 2021. It was my day off. Because vaccines were scarce at the time, I had to drive an hour east to a community clinic in the Columbia River Gorge to get my jab. It rained all the way there on my drive along the twisting scenic highway. I had a clear view of the landscape that had been devastated by wildfires on the opposite side of the river. Wisps of clouds caressed the denuded tree trunks that stood like an army of scorched pencil sticks along the mountain crests.

The community clinic I attended was calm and uncrowded, nestled in a forest of Douglas firs. I was shown to my own exam room where the attentive nurses were ready with a crash cart full of epi pens and Benadryl injections in case I had a severe allergic reaction to the vaccine. After the quick jab, my first words were it’s over, and my fear immediately subsided. I was given an ice pack to slow the swelling at the injection site. Both my arms and hands and my ears immediately turned bright red, but I assured the nurses I wasn’t wheezing or feeling itchy. The monitor attached to my finger showed that my blood oxygen levels remained normal. I had to stay under observation in that exam room for more than three hours to make sure I would not suffer a sudden asthma attack. I did jumping jacks to improve the circulation in my extremities and to reduce the redness. One nurse said she didn’t understand why so many people, especially Republican men, were so resistant to taking a vaccine when it saved lives. The vaccine greatly reduced my anxiety and allowed me to feel more confident in the face of COVID dangers.

It seemed fitting that I got my first COVID vaccine on the opening day of Derek Chauvin’s trial. Chauvin, a White police officer, murdered George Floyd, an unarmed Black man, with a blood choke, a knee firmly pressed against the victim’s neck with excessive force. The murder was described as a public lynching conducted on a crowed street corner. Chauvin was found guilty on all counts and was sentenced to serve 21½ years in prison. On the first day of trial, George Floyd’s nephew said, There are two justice systems in our country. One for Blacks and one for Whites. We need one justice system for all. I couldn’t have agreed more.

My drive home from the community clinic that day seemed to mirror the polarization seen at George Floyd’s funeral. There was a clear line of demarcation along the two-lane highway that split my car directly in half. On my left were rain clouds and scorched tree trunks across the river where violent riots swept the land in protest over George Floyd’s brutal murder. On the right side of my car I saw a bright blue sky, festooned with fluffy white clouds that were bathed in the brilliant sunlight that signaled the approach of spring. The dramatic contrast of the opposing atmospheres on either side of my car was startling. Weirdly, rain was only falling on the left side of my windshield, but the right side was perfectly dry. The theme of my journey seemed to focus on the nature of duality. As American author and educator Byron Kathleen Mitchell wrote: "You can’t have an up without a down. You can’t have a left without a right. This is duality. If you have a problem, you must already have a solution. The question is, do you really want the solution, or do you want to perpetuate the problem?"

Also on that same Monday in March 2021, the Director of the CDC warned of impending doom from the fourth COVID surge because Americans were being far too lax about pandemic safety. My trip through the Columbia River Gorge that day was the first time I’d been away from home in over a year because of lockdowns and pandemic isolation. I realized that in all that time of COVID stress, I rarely noticed the sky. But I did look up at the sky that day – it was visibly spilt in two and I was driving precisely down the middle of the divide. My car’s radio played Steve Tyrell’s light-hearted jazzy voice that guided me safely home through a long canyon of polar opposites:

"Grab your coat and get your hat

Leave your worry on the doorstep

Just direct your feet

To the sunny side of the street"

Beginning in 1994, Dr. Masaru Emoto photographed ice crystals using a high-speed camera in a subzero laboratory. He studied water samples taken from various waterbodies around the world that were frozen very slowly so as to produce delicate ice crystals. Dr. Emoto learned that samples of water taken from the Nile had a unique crystal signature when frozen. The Nile crystals were visibly different from the Ganges, the Amazon, and so on. Even water from different faucets that were sourced from different wells produced uniquely different ice crystals when frozen.

Dr. Emoto discovered that ice crystals produced from polluted waters were malformed. However, when polluted water samples were held while subjected to prayerful requests to cleanse the infirmity, photographic results showed that prayer (thought with divine intent) physically transformed the malignant crystals into beautiful geometric shapes without irregularities or discoloration. That seemed to indicate that the energy of cleansing thought could heal the harm caused by pollutants. This was an important idea given the 2023 study by the US Geological Survey that found almost half of the tap water in the US was contaminated with synthetic forever chemicals that harmed the environment and were known to cause cancer, obesity, liver damage, hormone irregularities, thyroid disorder, decreased fertility, and high cholesterol. In April 2023, my hometown did not know how three out of nine municipal water stations were found to have been contaminated with per- and polyfluoroalkyl chemicals (PFAS) in amounts that exceeded Washington State action levels for toxic compounds.

Dr. Emoto attached certain printed words directly to the outside of vials containing water samples, and then photographed the ice crystals derived from those samples. The same crystal formations occurred each time the word Love was used. The same was true for the words Hope, Happiness, and the names of various religions from around the world. The ice crystals produced from water that was exposed to words with positive meanings were symmetrical, geometrically perfect and full of exquisite light and radiant color.

In contrast, Dr. Emoto photographed frozen samples from vials of water that were exposed to the words I hate you, Devil, and Adolph Hitler. Words associated with negative connotations produced ice crystals that were misshapen, discolored, and murky like a cancerous tumor.

Consider that the human body is comprised of (on average) 65% water. Newborn infant bodies are about 75% water. The human bloodstream, the stuff that feeds your brain and nurtures your body, is 92% water. Those are scientifically known quantities. Following Dr. Emoto’s conclusions, water held within the human body can, therefore, absorb and store the energy of language and thought from all around us. Thought energy (exchanged through sound and light) can create as well as cure disease. That same energy powers all of our interactions and relationships. Therefore, those who receive your words become the canvas of your thoughts. Your thoughts can either harm or heal.

Neuroscientists at the University of Geneva published a 2023 study that showed how frequent negative thoughts over extended periods of time increased neurodegeneration and aging in parts of the brain that were the most vulnerable to dementia. The study revealed that mindful meditation used to better manage negative thoughts (fear, anxiety, depression) improved memory function and slowed the advance of cognitive decline. Frequently listening to music or playing a musical instrument was also found to reduce the effects of dementia. Beauteous Maximus offers various examples of mindfulness that can be used to fend off the deleterious consequences of chronic negativity that arise in times of peril and crisis.

One out of every five people are estimated to have genetic markers that make them Highly Sensitive, which means they carry traits for a hyperactive central nervous system that responds powerfully to physical, emotional and social stimuli. Those hereditary traits greatly intensify situational awareness, an evolutionary tool the brain uses to enhance the chances of survival. Those same genetic markers have also been found in at least 100 other species. As neurodivergent individuals, Highly Sensitive people can also be empaths who are deeply aware of the emotions and pain of others. For example, if I see a toddler trip and smash his forehead against the sidewalk, I automatically feel a powerful jolt of electrical sympathy pain shoot up my spinal column. The term neurodivergent describes the minority of the population who process information, learn, or behave differently from what is considered neurotypical. Those who live as Highly Sensitive personalities tend to avoid violent entertainments, noisy crowds, bright lights and restrictive clothing. They require personal downtime away from others, especially after stressful periods. They are deeply contemplative and tend to be overwhelmed by tension or conflict. They are also profoundly moved by Beauty, as expressed in nature, the arts, or by the human spirit. As a neurodivergent person, I regularly experienced all of those common traits. Following Dr. Emoto’s conclusions, those who are Highly Sensitive (20% of the human population) are neurologically wired in ways that make them far more likely to be physically, spiritually, and emotionally impacted by the thoughts and words of others.

A YouTube video entitled "Cycles of Time" with Gregg Braden was posted in January 2017, three years before the COVID pandemic began. Mr. Braden, an acclaimed author, scientist, and international educator, had been honored as one of the top 100 of the world’s most spiritually influential people for each of the preceding 11 years. In his YouTube video, Braden explained that science recognized three distinct, measurable cycles of global changes in time, any one of which could singularly turn the world upside down: 1) the cycle of climate change, 2) the cycle of economic change, 3) the cycle of human conflict. I began writing the trilogy Beauteous Maximus during the COVID lockdown that began in March 2020, long before I knew anything of Braden’s work. When a dear friend sent me a link to his YouTube video six months into the pandemic, I discovered how the events portrayed in my trilogy lent themselves easily to Braden’s analysis of the quantum mechanics of human nature.

Braden described the year 2020 as the peak of a rare, massive convergence of the climate, economic, and human conflict cycles of time. The convergence resulted in the complete melding of Earth’s various cultures, religions, governments, economic platforms and ideologies. It meant the convergence brought an unprecedented amount of chaos with it. Chaos is the crucible of change. In a July 2021 television interview in London, Braden said, The better we know ourselves, the less we fear change in the world, the less we fear one another. He also said that in order to know ourselves, we needed to be honest, truthful, and factual. Truth, therefore, was the path to healing. This was an important idea, given that propaganda, deceit and paranoia are prominent in times of extreme chaos, as happened during the COVID pandemic. The national and international events that marked the COVID years brought the entire world more than enough proof that humanity was unquestionably entrenched at the most volatile point within the cycle of human conflict. In my view, this third volume, The Spirit of Truth, was the antidote I needed to successfully pilot through that conflict.

The origins of Braden’s three Cycles of Time might be traced back to hermetic texts from the Ptolemaic dynasties of ancient Egypt, ancient Greece where the seeds of Democracy were first sown, as well as to Islamic and Baha’i writings. The ancient texts of the Hermes Trismegistus (the Three Hermes) was a compilation of philosophical and technical treatises regarding the arts and sciences, including astronomy, alchemy, and medicine. Those treatises were used to describe the interrelationship between the physical world and what was described as the higher spiritual dimensions. Hermes, the Greek god of communication, was combined with Thoth, the Egyptian god of wisdom. Hermetic teachings were later preserved in the biblical stories of the patriarchs Moses, Enoch and Noah. Scribed into more than 36,000 ancient Egyptian texts, hermetic teachings outlined the three basic characteristics (the Three Hermes) of creation that embodied universal consciousness: existence, wisdom, and life.

Under the pseudonym The Three Initiates, a trio of anonymous authors published The Kybalion in 1908, which brought the hermetic teachings of ancient sages and prophets into the 20th century. The full title of the book, The Kybalion: A Study of the Hermetic Philosophy of Ancient Egypt and Greece, was thought to have been authored by William Walker Atkinson, Paul Foster Case and Elias Gewurz, purported pioneers in the modern alchemical movement of the West. The Seven Hermetic Principles were a main theme of The Kybalion: the principles of 1) mentalism, 2) correspondence, 3) vibration, 4) polarity, 5) rhythm, 6) cause and effect, and 7) gender. Each of those seven principles is represented in various stories throughout the Beauteous Maximus trilogy. Hermetic teachings revealed the interrelationship between three distinct planes of existence: the Physical Plane, the Mental Plane, and the Spiritual Plane. Perhaps Braden’s three Cycles of Time were a modern era description of the three hermetic planes of existence. In keeping with that philosophy, Beauteous Maximus is written in three volumes that correspond respectively to the three Cycles of Time as well as to the Three Hermes.

From the time my hair salon was allowed to reopen in June 2020 after three months of COVID lockdown, until the end of August 2023 when I finished writing this final volume in the series, I had completed 6,669 salon services. Always masked myself, I was blessed to be able to work face to face with all those clients without experiencing any symptoms of COVID. I was boosted with the latest COVID vaccine whenever I qualified to take another jab and continued to take all the vitamins prescribed by my doctor to enhance my body’s immune response. I still wore masks everywhere in public and only went to the grocery store once a week, the post office, my doctor’s office twice monthly, the pharmacy, the bank, and the warehouse for my salon supplies where I was usually the only masked person in the room. Though I still had not socialized or even sat down for a meal in a public restaurant, I finally invited one of my good friends to sit on opposite ends of my long dining room table while the virus-zapping air purifier hummed between us and the windows were opened to ensure air circulation. For the first time in the pandemic, I removed my mask while indoors with another human to enjoy takeout from a fabulous Italian restaurant. We were jointly celebrating our January birthdays. I had just turned 60. My friend was apprehensive about joining me at first because he’d been all over town without wearing a mask and he was concerned about the risk of exposing me to the virus. But I decided that it was time to celebrate the momentous step toward my reintegration into society, and I came out of that meal happy to have made the leap while remaining entirely unscathed.

Old Man

In the Fall of 2022, during the third year of the pandemic, countries all around the world were dialing back on COVID surveillance. Because fewer countries were testing for COVID or reporting case numbers, the CDC suspended all country-specific COVID travel advisories. The CDC acknowledged it would only post advisories when new aggressive COVID variants appeared that were found to have spread rapidly through international travel.

On November 1, 2022, Washington State officially ended its declared state of emergency due to COVID, even though a winter of heavy infection was expected. The state’s official COVID website was dismantled and all tracking and reporting ceased. The Governor said his office would continue to work toward a day where no one dies from this virus. Indoor mask mandates and proof of vaccination requirements were eliminated except in hospitals, care facilities and prisons. I maintained mask requirements for all of my clients for the time being but knew that I would have to relax that standard sometime in the new year. Vaccination mandates were lifted for health care and education workers. The state required its workers to receive primary COVID shots, but there was no mandate for boosters. Despite those rollbacks, employers in Washington State were still expected to help prevent viral spread. Employees who tested positive were to be kept out of the workplace for at least five days, and employers were required to notify their workers when exposure occurred. Companies with more than 50 employees were required to report outbreaks. Two years and eight months after the pandemic began, Washington State had seen more than 14,000 COVID deaths with at least six more dying every day.

The emergence of simultaneous "Scrabble variants" (BQ.1, BQ1.1, BF.7, BA.4.6, BA.2.75, BA.2.75.2, XBB. 1, and XBB.1.5), the most contagious and vaccine-elusive COVID variants to that point, appeared just as the US government ran out of money to fund the development of new antibodies to treat the waves of infection. The World Health Organization confirmed the XBB.1.5 variant, first identified in India in August 2022, had been detected in 25 countries by the end of that same year. Dubbed the Kraken (after a mythical sea monster that sank sailing ships), XBB.1.5 was characterized as the most transmissible variant to that point. That subvariant of Omicron mutated to allow viral spores to replicate more rapidly and to bind more readily to human cells. Data from the CDC showed the Kraken caused more than 40% of new COVID cases during the last week of 2022, doubling the count from the prior week. Health officials around the world pleaded with the public to keep their vaccinations up to date as the best way to ward off infection, but fewer and fewer people listened.

One of my clients worked as a sales associate for Bath and Body Works. She was also a chemist who was studying to be a data analyst. During her cut and color appointment over the holiday season of 2022, she told me that Bath and Body Works helped predict COVID waves. She explained that immediately prior to a steep COVID surge, many customers left a barrage of negative reviews online for the store’s variety of scented candles. Customers ranted that the candles had no scent at all, which wasn’t true. The surge of negative candle reviews indicated a substantial portion of the population had lost its sense of smell, a well-documented symptom of COVID infection.

Republican pressure forced the US Congress to remove COVID relief from the $1.7 billion spending package that funded the government in December 2022. The COVID positivity rate had already spiked another 20% in New York City and Los Angeles. Infections were tied to a steep 25% increase in pregnancy-related fatalities. Deaths among pregnant Black and Latina women increased disproportionately by a shocking 80%. COVID also brought low birthrates, an increase in premature births, and an influx of postpartum depression. A study by Massachusetts General Hospital revealed that COVID caused severe liver damage (inflammation or fibrosis) that could lead to liver failure or cancer in some cases. Researchers from the University of Arizona found that a third of people who developed long COVID, even those who were previously physically fit, were unable to walk 100 yards. Those with long COVID suffered severe inflammation caused by an enzyme that was genetically similar to the paralyzing venom of rattlesnakes. The venom from COVID could shred the membranes of vital organs, and it was seen at levels more than 20 times the tolerable dose in COVID fatalities. According to the medical journal "Lancet Psychiatry," one-third of COVID survivors developed brain or neurological disorders, including anxiety, insomnia, stroke, dementia or brain hemorrhage.

By the middle of November 2022, 27 US states were overrun with what was termed a viral jambalaya or a tripledemic. COVID cases surged with 3,000 daily hospitalizations along with an aggressive flu and RSV (respiratory syncytial virus) that was very serious for infants, young children and the elderly. At the peak of the RSV wave in my county, half the children were absent from school classrooms due to illness. The viral trifecta prompted municipalities across the country to strongly urge the public to wear high-quality masks when indoors and around others, but those recommendations were largely ignored. Though widely exposed to my clients who caught one or more of the tripledemic illnesses, I never got sick. Scientists surmised that COVID safety protocols (lockdowns, social distancing, washing hands, disinfecting surfaces and wearing masks) were probably responsible for the public’s immunity gap that could have sparked the viral trifecta. Those who diligently adhered to COVID safety also stopped the spread as seen by the dramatic drop-off of seasonal RSV and flu infections in 2020 and 2021. During the 2022 flu season, however, most people had quit wearing their masks.

A study in the "Journal of American Medicine" revealed that 25% of American parents lied about their child’s COVID status at the height of the pandemic, including their child’s vaccination status and compliance with safety measures. Many parents avoided testing their children even when they showed symptoms of COVID. Those same parents defied quarantine protocols, claiming they were unnecessary. The actions of those defiant parents contributed greatly to the spread of COVID in the US population as well as the spread of flu and RSV. Furthermore, studies showed that 30% of the children who were infected with COVID also developed long COVID symptoms.

During the tripledemic there were shortages of pediatric formulations of antibiotics, flu remedies, and asthma medications. There were national shortages of 120 other medications including those needed to treat diabetes, seizures, hypoglycemia, anaphylaxis, attention deficit disorder, and those used intravenously for diagnostic imaging. The shortage of medical supplies was caused in large part by a devastating COVID surge in China where many of the drugs were manufactured. Chinese health officials estimated that 250 million people were likely infected in the first 20 days of December 2022, bringing China’s manufacturing complex to an abrupt halt.

In response to the anticipated side effects of social isolation during the COVID years, a pediatrician wrote in the "Lancet" medical journal, Decreased exposure to endemic viruses created an immunity gap – a group of susceptible individuals who avoided infection and therefore lack pathogen-specific immunity to protect against future infection. In other words, everything we did to prevent the spread of COVID also decreased our exposure to other viruses, and therefore decreased the natural ability of our immune systems to fend off other infections. Doctors knew in advance that surges in respiratory illness were inevitable and warned hospitals to be prepared. But once again, hospitals across the country were overrun at 99% capacity with a record number of patients and hospital staff falling ill to the triple whammy. There were more hospital beds in use in early December 2022 than during the first winter COVID surge of 2020 before the COVID vaccines were available. An estimated 40% of all US households were infected during the tripledemic when ten times the number of hospitalizations and deaths were seen than during a typical flu season. The Biden administration warned that COVID was not yet over and offered each American household four more free at-home COVID test kits. The White House said the rising case numbers were likely driven by indoor Thanksgiving gatherings and the beginning of the winter holiday season. The third annual COVID Christmas was fast approaching, but the majority of Americans didn’t seem to care about public health.

A major study released by the CDC showed that the updated bivalent boosters increased protection against the new COVID variants by a range of 28 to 56% among adults, depending on their age and the length of time since their prior vaccination. A vaccine regulator from the FDA said the new boosters weren’t a home run but described the effort as a good base hit. Dr. Fauci, the US’s preeminent expert on COVID, was set to retire by the end of December 2022. During his last appearance in the White House briefing room, he said, My message and my final message, maybe the final message I give you from this podium – is that, please, for your own safety, for that of your family, get your updated COVID-19 shot as soon as you’re eligible.

Another study from the CDC showed the effectiveness of the COVID medication called Paxlovid, recommended for adults who were also at higher risk of developing severe illness due to underlying conditions such as asthma, diabetes, or heart conditions. Qualified patients who took Paxlovid had a 51% lower hospital rate. But only 28% of eligible COVID patients were actually given the antiviral pills.

It was a busy Saturday afternoon just before Thanksgiving 2022 when the phone rang in my shop. "Blow Your Top, I said into the receiver. This is Mike. How may I help you?"

A deep, raspy man’s voice came from the other end of the line. He sounded like he was from the swamplands of Louisiana. Can you make me look like Santy-Claus? he asked gruffly, without introduction.

Well, that depends, I answered, hesitantly. I have no idea what you look like.

I need me a Santy-Claus style, the old man insisted.

Looks like I have a cancellation next Tuesday at 8:45 am. Does that work for you?

Book ‘em, Danno! the old man said, enthusiastically.

Before I do that, I countered, You should know that you will need to wear a mask for the duration of your service. Are you OK with that?

No problemo. I got me a whole mess of masks, the old man answered.

It needs to be the kind of mask that loops around your ears, not around the back of your head. Can’t cut your hair with a strap across your head.

Yep, I got me the right kind of mask, he said.

There’s a private parking area behind my building. Please pull in there and stay in your vehicle until I come out to get you, I said.

Fine, he replied.

It would be helpful if you could show me a picture of the kind of Santa Claus style you are looking for, I said. Just bring it on your cellphone.

Will do. See ya Tuesday, the old man said as he hung up.

Immediately, I sent the old man a confirmation text that reiterated those instructions along with the date and time of his appointment. He didn’t respond to that text as requested.

The following Monday morning, a tree service was removing two 85-foot trees from my property. I despised killing trees, but the two in question had become very dangerous. High winds had caused the trees to drop several large branches that were severely weakened by the devastating heat domes that happened over the prior two summers. Fallen branches had knocked holes in my roof, and they nearly wiped out my neighbors’ cars parked in their driveway. Chainsaws and grinders were ripping through the quiet of the neighborhood that Monday morning. The cleaning crew had also arrived to sanitize the surfaces in my house and remove the deleterious blanket of microfine hair clippings that tended to waft about the building. Things were definitely hopping that morning when the shop was closed.

I happened to be looking out the dining room window when an unexpected silver Dodge Ram Longhorn truck pulled into my driveway. Wearing a mask, I took the back stairs to the driveway where I saw an elderly man struggle to exit the truck from the height of the driver’s seat. He grunted and groaned, wheezed and coughed while using a carved walking stick to steady himself. Silver sleigh bells were tied to the top of the walking stick that was also covered in carved runic symbols. Because the old man’s hands trembled, the sleigh bells jingled erratically to signal his struggles. The old man wore jeans with suspenders and a plaid flannel shirt that outlined his bulbous belly. He had a long white beard and a drape of long white hair that formed a ring around the occipital ridge of his head. His topknot was mostly bald.

Can I help you? I asked the old man as I cautiously approached his truck.

I’m here for my appointment, he replied, somewhat offended.

Are you the fella who wanted a Santa Claus haircut? I asked.

That’s me, he said with a grin full of stained, cracked teeth.

I had to yell over the top of the chainsaw noise that was splitting the air behind me. I’m so sorry that you made a trip for nothing, sir, I said. But your appointment is for tomorrow morning at 8:45. It’s not for today.

The old man looked at me through one squinted, milky blue eye. Shucky darns, he said.

"Did you get the confirmation text I sent you?

Yep, he snorted.

The correct date and time were in that text, I replied. My shop is closed on Mondays, so I can’t help you right now.

Aw, that’s all right. I don’t mind. I needed to get out and blow the stink off anyway, he said.

As you can see, there is a lot happening that I need to tend to. Are you able to return tomorrow as scheduled?

The old man turned back to his truck. He barely made it as he grunted and groaned while using his walking stick to vault himself into the tall driver’s seat. Breathless from the exertion, he said, Yes, sir, I’ll be back tomorrow! The silver Dodge Ram Longhorn backed out of the parking lot and drove toward the interstate.

The following morning, I was working on my first haircut client at 8:00 am when the doorbell rang unexpectedly. I answered the front door to discover the bearded old man standing there holding his walking stick with the sleigh bells.

I’m here for my haircut again, the old man said, plainly. He fumbled with a crumpled mask that he pulled from his pocket.

You’re a bit early, I replied. I’m in the middle of another haircut right now. Your appointment is for 8:45. Can I please have you wait in your truck until I’m ready for you as we discussed? It’s for COVID safety.

The old man looked at me with one squinted, milky blue eye. Oh, no, I can’t do that, he wheezed. I’ll never make it back up those terrible stairs.

Oh! I said. I’m sorry the stairs are a problem for you.

I’ll just wait out here, if you don’t mind. I’ll sit right here on your front porch. He used his walking stick to point to the deck chairs that sat by the front window.

Are you sure? I asked. It’s a pretty cold November morning.

I’m a tough old bird, the old man said as he waddled over to seat himself.

Do you want to wait here in the lobby instead? Wouldn’t want you to freeze.

Nah. I’ll be fine out here, he mumbled. It’s a lot colder than this at the North Pole.

I went back inside and closed the door to tend to my other haircut client. The old man was seated so I could count the liver spots on the back of his bald head that was only three feet from where I was standing at the styling chair. Because I worried that he might get frostbite, I worked quickly to finish my first haircut and then invited the old man into the warmth of my shop.

Just a minute, he said, fumbling to pull the crumpled mask back out of his pocket. His hands trembled furiously as he struggled to pull the elastic loops around his ears to secure the mask in place.

You sure do look like Santa Claus, I said to him as he hung up his coat. When he turned to face me, I saw a huge swath of blue surgical tape wrapped around his right wrist. Oh no, Santa! What happened to your hand?

Skin cancer, he said matter-of-factly.

Do you have stiches?

Twenty-seven, he replied.

Holy cow! When did that happen?

Yesterday, he said.

Are you OK? Are you in pain right now?

I’m perfectly fine, he said. I’m a tough old bird. He stood and stared at me with his one good eye.

Give me just a sec here to sanitize the station for you, I said.

No problemo.

As usual, I sprayed virucide on all the surfaces in my shop, including the armrests and the cushions of the styling chair, and wiped everything down with a wad of paper towels. I asked the old man a question as I worked. Did you bring a photo of the kind of Santa haircut you want as we discussed?

Nope, he answered, brusquely.

Oh… May I ask why? I replied, somewhat startled by his tone.

I tried! he objected. I tried real hard. And all I found was a crapload of cartoon pictures. I don’t wanna look like no freakin’ cartoon Santy-Claus!

I see, I said, trying to figure out how to handle the gruff old man. Did the doctors say not to get your stitches wet?

Yep.

Then I won’t ask you to wash your hands with soap and water, I said. There’s a bottle of hand sanitizer on the front counter there. Please use that to disinfect your hands before we get started.

Okey-dokey-smokey, he said as he squirted his trembling hands with the disinfectant gel.

All right then, I continued. Why don’t you come over to the chair here so we can chat about your haircut.

The old man ambled wearily toward the styling chair. He grunted and groaned while using his walking stick to steady himself as he slid, slow motion, into the styling chair. I placed my hand on his back to help guide him, thinking he might fall.

Do you have a bad back? I asked.

Bad back, bad knees, bad ankles, bad everything, he replied. But I’m a tough old bird, so I can take it.

Please tell me what you’re looking for in the haircut, I said.

Don’t take too much off!

I’ll do as you ask, I reassured him.

And I don’t want just a haircut, he continued as he ogled the mirror with his one good eye. I want me a styyyyyyyyle!

Are you going to use a blow-dryer and some product? I asked.

Nope, the old man said, quickly.

Well, your hair is very stubborn and coarse. If you don’t blow-dry it with some product, and all you do is let it air dry, then you’re at the mercy of what it decides to do on its own. The haircut can’t style all by itself. You couldn’t find any Santa photos that you liked?

I tried! Like I said already, they was all cartoons! he wailed.

Did you try searching for actors who have played Santa in the movies? I asked.

Huh, the old man said. He fumbled with his cellphone to perform an internet search. There! he shouted, triumphantly. That’ll do me! His trembling fingers pointed to an image of Kurt Russell from 2018’s The Santa Chronicles. Kurt Russell portrayed a physically fit and rather sarcastic Santa who sought to rescue a Christmas that was in deep trouble. Kurt Russell had an abundant mane of wavy silver hair in that film, and an equally virile beard. The old man sitting in my styling chair had neither of those things.

We’ll need to modify the Kurt Russell look a bit, I said, supportively. Pointing to his bald forehead, I suggested, We can’t get the pompadour in front for you here because, well, you don’t have any hair up there. But we can mimic the layered look in the back.

That’ll do me! the old man said with an appreciative nod.

You’re going to have to use a curling iron to make your hair full enough to look like Kurt Russell, I said. A curling iron and some product is the only way that will work.

I can’t do that! he complained. My hands won’t reach up there. I can’t hold a curling iron!

Then your other option is for someone to help you, I said. "Or you’ll have to adjust your expectations and just let your hair do what