Thea and Milo, the Strange Couple and the Trial of the Venusian Baby

By Darren Carpenter

‘Thea and Milo, the Strange Couple and the Trial of the Venusian Baby’ is an original, entertaining and highly amusing story. It features unique characters, an extremely imaginative plot and a gripping finale. A seemingly normal Hicks family holiday soon turns into something completely different! It’s told from the point of view of nine-year-old Thea. She tells of a strange couple, and an amazing bond she shares with one of them. There’s an alien who smells of cabbage, another alien disguised as a wardrobe, a golf-loving giant fish and more aliens to discover besides. This remarkable book will delight children and adults alike. This is the first story from the fertile mind of Darren Carpenter and, judging by the ending, possibly not his last.

• Language: English
• Publisher: The Conrad Press
• Release date: Aug 25, 2023
• ISBN: 9781839786501

Book preview

Thea & Milo,

the Strange Couple and the Trial of the Venusian Baby

Thea & Milo, the Strange Couple and the Trial of the Venusian Baby

Published by The Conrad Press Ltd. in the United Kingdom 2023

Tel: [phone]

www.theconradpress.com

[e-mail]

ISBN 978-1-839786-50-1

Copyright © Darren Carpenter 2023

All rights reserved.

Typesetting and Cover Design by:

Michelle Emerson, michelleemerson.co.uk

The Conrad Press logo was designed by Maria Priestley.

Printed and bound in Great Britain by Clays Ltd, Elcograf S.p.A.

Thea & Milo,

the Strange Couple and the Trial of the Venusian Baby

Darren Carpenter

For my beautiful crazy grandchildren,

Thea, Milo & Orson

Contents

Saturday

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Thursday 15th September

Thursday 22nd September

Friday 30th September

Saturday 1st October

Sunday 2nd October

Monday 3rd October

Tuesday 4th October

Wednesday 5th October

My Last Entry

Acknowledgements

Excitement filled the Hicks family. There were two reasons for this. One was that they were on holiday. The other reason for the excitement was they were waiting for the arrival of a new baby nephew, or niece and cousin.

The family consisted of Mum, whose name was Lucy, and who was very much in charge. She was a problem solver and troubleshooter who helped businesses become more successful. She was a very organised kind of person and liked to plan things in exact detail. ‘Failing to prepare, is preparing to fail,’ she would often say when delivering training sessions.

Dad’s name was Oliver, but everyone called him Oli. He was a plumber who had his own business, fitting bathrooms mainly. He was a quiet man who just got on with things. He liked a simple life and good food.

Thea was nine years old. She was a sensible, smart girl with a great sense of humour and had an enormous sense of fun. She had lots of friends; it was easy to like her. With her long blonde hair and her love of swimming she often looked like a mermaid, if without the tail.

Milo was five years old. You’d be forgiven for thinking his name was actually ‘Milo, no!’ because that was what people were always saying to him. It wasn’t that he was a naughty child, he was just full of energy and naturally inquisitive. (I’m sure everybody secretly wishes they could be a little bit more like Milo with his young imagination and his total enthusiasm for the world around him.)

As a family the Hickses had been very lucky and had enjoyed many holidays. Mum and Dad used to love city breaks, before Thea was born, anyway. They still went on short breaks if Lucy’s Mum and Dad were happy to look after the children, which they usually were. The Hickses liked to spend their holidays discovering new Greek islands (new to them, anyway) of which there are many, and all that there is to do to make sure fabulous memories are made, trying different food, learning the language, and discovering hidden beaches and swimming in the bluest sea they’d ever seen.

The new baby was to be Lucy’s sister’s first child. Thea and Milo called their Mum’s sister Auntie H. This was given to her as a result of Thea’s early attempts to write her aunt’s name. Thea would concentrate so hard on getting the H perfect that she would often keep writing that until she was satisfied. And so, the H stuck with hardly anyone calling her by her actual name.

Thea was excited that she was to become a cousin. She’d be a great help and was looking forward to shopping trips to buy new clothes and toys for the baby. She wasn’t sure how she felt about changing dirty nappies though, but was sure cousin duties didn’t involve any of that. Milo was disappointed, he would rather Auntie H was getting a puppy, as they were much more fun to play with. The baby was due to be born very soon, so a holiday before this happy event already had added excitement. The holiday this year was to be something that they would never have imagined. Even in their wildest dreams. What follows comes straight from Thea’s diary.

Saturday

It’s 7 o’clock and I’m the first awake as usual.

Why do people sleep so much when they are on holiday? We need breakfast. We have to go to the beach. We need lunch. I need ice cream. Milo will need cleaning up after getting ice cream everywhere. Why does he find it so hard to eat an ice cream without getting so messy? It’s simple. You lick the ice cream making sure you catch any stray drips that may be melting down the side. Then once the ice cream is down to the level of the cone you nibble and lick until it is all gone. Milo has the drips running down his fingers. Then he bites the bottom off the cone and tries to suck the ice cream out of the bottom. This just makes the cone all soggy. Disgusting!

Milo will start to get all eggy and need a nap. He will argue that he is not tired. Mum will cuddle him and he will have a little sleep. He always wakes up in a much better mood.

Mum needs to chill. ‘It’s my holiday too,’ she will say. Dad needs to supervise us in the sea. Get drinks. Take us to the toilet. Chase Milo. Play games with us. Go back to the room for anything we’ve forgotten and get a sneaky Gyros from the snack bar, his favourite Greek snack, when he thinks Mum is asleep.

We need to go to the hotel pool for a while before we finally go and get ready for dinner. I might re-invent the clock to put more hours in the day, especially when we are on holiday. I think Dad will like not having to rush as much, and Mum could chill for a little longer.

5 o’ clock. The day went almost exactly as I thought it would. The only things I forgot was how many times Milo would be told to put his hat on, and how many times we would all get covered in sun cream. Shower and then off to dinner. Me and Mum will be wearing matching dresses, she’ll call us ‘twinnies’ which is cute.

9 o’clock. Dinner was very strange. I’ll tell you about that tomorrow. I’m pooped.

Good night, diary.

Sunday

Awake and up first again.

I like to cough quite loudly and make some noises moving around the room. I get louder and louder until everyone is awake. We have a holiday to be getting on with and me and Milo have some spying to do.

About last night’s dinner. It was the normal routine. Mum takes me to see what food there is and I choose the vegetarian options. I haven’t been vegetarian for long, or even fully yet because the sausages at breakfast are delicious but I am trying. Mum picks a little of most things and leaves what she doesn’t like. Dad fills his plate with a bit of everything and eats it all, then eats anything Mum has left. Milo has to be bribed with ice cream to eat anything at all. He always gives in and eats something. I think it’s a little game he likes to play with Mum and Dad to see