Road To Hell: Apocalypse Earth, #0

By SG Laurie

Outgunned, Outnumbered - And Outta Luck.

 

1981 - Now, don't panic, we are being attacked - by an unbeatable, unrelenting extraterrestrial force hellbent on taking earth. Our only hope? A fairly violently disgruntled Top Secret agent delicately balancing a pretty broad spectrum of addictions and worrying dysfunctions.

So, you ask, it's just him - there's no one else?
Uh-huh.
Seriously...?
Yep.

And as once mighty First World superpower nations are brought to their knees in the face of increasingly insurmountable odds, our guy will do whatever it takes to ensure earth survives - lie, kill, try and bed his cold but super-sexy boss, cheat on his taxes, blow up a capital city, whatever.

The result? An out-of-this-world epic space-comedy adventure...!
 

 

The "Road To Hell", - Monty Python's Guardians of the Galaxy...!

 

BOOKS IN THE SERIES:

1 - Road To Hell

2 - Decimation Earth

3 - Second Wave

4 - Earth - Attack

5 - Space - Destruction

6 - Congress Of Nations

7 - Lunar Downfall

8 - Maxi Turbo - THING

• Language: English
• Publisher: SG LAURIE
• Release date: Oct 7, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223734451

Book preview

COPYRIGHT 2020

All Rights Reserved.

All characters, all incidents and all dialog are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real.

No part of this book is to be reproduced by any means, other than with the consent of the author. Seriously.

BOOK ONE

Apocalypse Earth

Road To Hell

SG Laurie

BOOKS IN THE SERIES

1

Apocalypse Earth - Road To Hell

2

Apocalypse Earth - Decimation Earth

3

Apocalypse Earth - Second Wave

4

Apocalypse Earth - Earth - Attack

5

Apocalypse Earth: Space - Destruction

6

Apocalypse Earth - Congress Of Nations

7

Apocalypse Earth - Lunar Downfall

8

Apocalypse Earth - Maxi Turbo - THING

Chapter 1

1981 - Earth, this terminal asylum camouflaged in nothing but one-hundred percent lunacy. I don't know from where the ugly fantasy we are alone first ever appeared. Or the idea that we were, or are, somehow superior. Or that we would find life. So you may think we’re alone, but what you think and what I know are two seriously different things. I know we are not alone - we have been invaded.

Simple procedure the details of their arrival. One day we received a deep space communication. Our RADAR, limited as it was, had detected their sudden appearance. A tangible, hard contact piercing through the atmosphere of our blue planet, right over our airspace. And in the dead weight of just a few seconds, the world exploded and forever changed. That’s how we all met, our worlds collided.

Actually, the ship was well within our airspace by the time we finally detected them. Our RADAR was ancient - just shit, couldn't pick up a fart in a fart-storm (that’s an actual weather phenomena in some parts of Scotland, by the way). We were slow off the mark, sitting ducks if these things had plans to attack us.

First I knew of it was a phone call. I was in bed, dreaming. My head throbbing with pain and violence, I dreamed that I was burning. I looked around - other people were burning, too. Fire everywhere, everyone in flames and all burning - with desire and dreams, with needs and wants. One of the people on fire approached me and, here’s where the dream got strange, said:

"The beaver is an animal that mates for life. The European Beaver, that is - their North American cousin, however, will see other beavers. Multiple beavers. And that's the one we are focusing on."

I awoke and checked my watch: 2am. Somewhere on the street below a woman screamed. Sounded very angry, like a stab wound. Then, the shattering sound of breaking glass. Followed by the sound of police sirens wailing. And somewhere across the way a man howled at the moon - why shouldn’t he? Perfectly reasonable thing to do after a hard day. Beats a drug habit and hookers. The wail of police sirens growing louder, I looked at the woman next to me - she didn’t stir, slept on through.

Police sirens, violence, people screaming and howling has no effect on hookers. These were things they expected to encounter any given moment. Yeah, I spend most of my money on booze, drugs and Eastern European prostitutes. Let’s not make a big deal out of it. But if you must know why, well, for one thing, Eastern European hookers are a lot better educated than the local girls on my street corner. These European girls, they fly over here and ply their trade to desperate men (and women, let’s not be shy about it, that’s a thing for sure - trust me, one day gender equality is going to be a big issue) looking to escape their lives for a couple of hours.

I wasn’t desperate, but these girls charged a lot for their services. In return, they kept just their mouths shut. Simple as that. I got out of bed and stepped onto the balcony overlooking the city to see what the fuck was going on. Below me, three police cars, almost level with my building now, sirens screeching. I looked up