What the Hell Happened?

By Ned Kellar

What the Hell Happened?
All it took was one long look in a department store mirror and my life was turned completely upside down. At first, I thought I had stepped into someone else’s changing room. I excused myself, but paused long enough for the harsh reality to take hold. I froze in my tacks, completely transfixed, as I gaped at the image, gaping back at me. How had I gone from “forty something” and full of life, to this “eighty something” fella with gray hair, glasses and more than a few wrinkles…well, everywhere!
I got home and I did a lot of thinking, which turned into a lot of writing, which turned into this book. I filled the pages with the personal stories, some humorous, some not so much, but they are all little snippets in my past that ultimately brought me to the fateful day and that awful mirror.
I liken my aging to being on a long journey, much like riding on a train from one town to another. My train, however, was no old steam locomotive, slowly ambling around a mountain. No, it was more like a newfangled bullet train where everything moves at a blur and you’re at the destination before you’ve had a moment to enjoy the scenery.
I promise you that this book is not one of regrets. It contains lessons I had to learn about myself and challenges I had to overcome, but all of them culminated into a blessed life. It is my wish that you laugh, cry, and maybe even learn a trick or two as you journey on your own train. I also hope you will write some of your stories down as they will be cherished by those who love you.
It certainly helped me find peace, joy and finally, acceptance of that old man in the mirror.
God Bless!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Sep 14, 2023
• ISBN: 9781669867128

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Copyright © 2023 by Ned Kellar.

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Rev. date: 09/14/2023

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CONTENTS

Let me Introduce Myself

Reality Hits Hard!

PART 1

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 I’m Forty

Chapter 3 Testing My Virility

Chapter 4 Creative Care Center

Chapter 5 Middle Age and The Expanding Waistline

Chapter 6 The Facts Of Life

Chapter 7 What a Ride

Chapter 8 Retirement

PART 2

What The Hell Is Happening Now?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 Driving Mr. Daisy

Chapter 3 My Aching Heart

Chapter 4 A Time to Live and A Time to Die

Chapter 5 Ageism More common than you think

LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF

My name is Ned Kellar and my wife is Dorothy, Dot for short. Dot and I moved to Florida in 1963, it was at the wishes of the White Citizens Council and the KKK that we do so. That may be a slight exaggeration but I will admit that both groups were not unhappy to see us leave the state of Mississippi. The reasons are another story about racism in our home state.

Before Florida, I served the Sandersville circuit. A three-church appointment in the Mississippi Methodist conference. The churches were mostly rural and the majority of the members were older. This presented a problem for a young pastor in that the old-timers were used to fundamentalist preaching. By definition, most were set in their ways both socially and racially in particular. The bottom line was, if I were to have a successful ministry, I had to either change my philosophy or move to a more progressive section of the country. I chose the latter.

One of the offers I received was from Florida. That state had more elderly people than any state in the south, so the question I faced was, Am I moving from the frying pan into the fire? The deciding factor was that one of my best friends moved to the Sunshine State and at least we would not be alone. We left in the night to escape any unwanted attention from the locals, and arrived in Cocoa, Florida. I was appointed as an associate pastor of the First Methodist Church. Unfortunately, my dreams of a more progressive crowd were not to be at this church either. The pastor of the church was David Cathcart, a minister in his golden years, and the congregation were in the same age group. I assume the Lord had a plan for me that would affect my attitude toward working with the elderly, because all of the members of that church accepted me with open arms.

I was invited to join the local Rotary Club and they were very accepting toward a liberal white man who spoke positively regarding black people and even seemed to value my opinions. Of course, they did not all agree with me but the majority of the club members were older, longtime community leaders. For a man who wanted to get away from the close minded elderly of Sandersville, I was making some strange moves. But being part of the Rotary Club, however, changed my views of older people and toward people in general. Hopefully, I can explain what I mean. The people I met in that club were some of the greatest people I have ever known. They agreed to accept me as I was and, on a positive note for me and Dorothy, not a single one threatened to have me tarred and feathered or burn my house down!

One person in particular stands out among those members. I am not sure I could explain why but I will try. His name was Frank Sullivan, Jr.. Frank was not a member of my church but a friend through the Rotary. He was a very successful businessman in the community and what drew me to him was a combination of personality and eyes. Sounds strange? Well, I am one of those people who actually believes that our eyes are windows to our souls. I learned to always look a person in the eyes when I first meet them. Frank’s eyes were always smiling. That is a gift. He always, at least in my presence, was happy and content. That is how I wanted to be. Not just now but for the extent of my life. Even as I grow old (OK, as I grow older), that guy and his smile were an institution for me, and I am guessing for everyone who came into his presence.

I try to keep a smile on my face and my eyes bright. Old age is rougher than I thought. My prayer is to remember those who never lost the gift of a smile, even when the storms are raging. This book is meant to be a journey of my life as I went from a young pastor to my eighty-five year old self today. I offer free advice and a lot of fun stories that I bet will apply to some of you as you get through it. Enjoy!

REALITY HITS HARD!

For my eighty-second birthday, Dorothy gave me a gift certificate for some new clothes. That was great, but the better gift was that I was able to complete this task alone. No interference or opinion from her at all. That had never happened! Before she could change her mind I left for the mall, shouting, Free at Last, Free at Last! This was on Saturday, October 29, 2018. I took the certificate and headed for Dillard’s, the place where I usually shop. I wasn’t in a rush because it would be important to do a flawless job choosing my new items if I ever wanted to do this solo again.

I remember the experience quite well. The sky was blue, the weather was perfect and I had a bounce in my step. Alas, this special shopping experience would have an unexpected impact on my life. But first, back to the story. Blue being my favorite color, I picked out a shirt in that color that caught my eye. I took the advice Dorothy offered and made sure the size was right and the look was in fashion. No small feat for a novice such as myself. I looked at