Murder and Misdirection, a Ditie Brown Mystery, Book 6

By Sarah Osborne

Mabel Aphrodite Brown is looking forward to her favorite holiday—Halloween. But while she and her best friend, Lurleen, are dreaming up treats and innocent fun, someone else is concocting a perfect plan for murder!

In late October, Ditie and Lurleen attend a mystery book club given by a new-found friend. The evening turns sinister when a guest sees something terrifying outside a window and is murdered the same night. Lurleen feels compelled to protect her friend from a crime that twists and turns like a skeleton dangling in a storm.

Is the murderer seeking revenge for old crimes or new ones? Do the tarot cards reveal the truth or hide it? So many clues don’t seem to connect. Can Ditie and Lurleen find the missing link before anyone else gets hurt? And what about Mason Garrett, Ditie’s new husband and an Atlanta detective? All he wants to do is keep Ditie safe, and that’s no easy task when Lurleen is sniffing out a murderer.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sarah Osborne
• Release date: Sep 15, 2023
• ISBN: 9798986724447

Sarah Osborne

Sarah Osborne is the pen name of a native Californian who lived in Atlanta for many years and now practices psychiatry on Cape Cod. She writes cozy mysteries for the same reason she reads them—to find comfort in a sometimes difficult world. TOO MANY CROOKS SPOIL THE PLOT is the first novel in her Ditie Brown Mystery series. She loves to hear from readers and can be reached at doctorosborne.com.

Book preview

1

Istared at Lurleen. I thought we were going to a book club.

We are, but it’s a mystery book club, Ditie, she said as she dramatically waved her black cape open and closed around her body. And Halloween is only a week away. Stephanie didn’t plan the first meeting so close to Halloween by accident—she knew precisely what she was doing.

"I think more likely she knew precisely what you would be doing, I said. I hope so anyway."

Lurleen held her cape open and spun around so I could take in the full effect of her outfit underneath. Then she grinned at me, a bloody fang protruding from each side of her mouth.

Before I could say a word, Lucie and Jason burst into the living room.

Oh, Lurleen, you look gucci, Lucie said. Ever since Lucie had turned twelve the month before, she rarely spoke in words I could understand. Naturally it was no problem for Lurleen.

Thank you, Luce. I feel gucci, and thank you, Jason, for buying an extra set of vampire teeth.

Jason beamed, showing his own set of fangs.

Too bad we didn’t get a third set for you, Ditie, Lurleen said, or at least a Sherlock Holmes cap so you wouldn’t feel left out.

Did I miss the memo? I asked. Is this a costume party?

No, no. Lurleen laughed. I just couldn’t resist. She pulled her cape back and rested one hand on her hip as if she were a runway model, which she could easily have been. She was tall enough, slim enough and gorgeous. Then she paused to allow me to study what she was wearing underneath the cape: a black sheath that hugged her body with silver lines all over it looking like a spider web.

You didn’t buy that anywhere, did you? I asked.

Of course not, it’s one of a kind. Lucie and Jason helped me create it—you know that day you had to stay late at the clinic. We had time on our hands, and you know what they say: idle hands are the devil’s workshop. She grinned wickedly and the kids laughed.

Suddenly, I felt very underdressed in my slacks and turquoise sweater.

Lucie must have seen the expression on my face. You look gucci too, Mama, no worries.

We’ll be early if we leave now, Lurleen said. Let’s sit a moment.

We settled on the couch in the living room. My large yellow cat, Majestic, sidled up to Lurleen hoping he could get comfortable in her lap.

Not today, big boy. If you were black I’d take you with me.

Majestic seemed to understand and jumped into Lucie’s lap instead.

Remind me how you know Stephanie and how it is I got invited to the book group, I said.

I’ve known Stephanie for almost a year, Lurleen said. We did some volunteer work at the Decatur library, and we became friends. I suppose what I like most about her is that she isn’t afraid of the occult—she embraces it. No offense, Ditie, but you have to see the evidence for everything before you take the plunge, and sometimes it’s refreshing to be around people who are a little looser about what they consider possible.

What do you mean by the occult? I asked.

I’m not part of some wiccan group if that’s what you’re worried about, Lurleen said, although I wouldn’t be surprised if Stephanie is. She has friends who do tarot card readings, and she said one of them was coming tonight. Crystal, I think her name is.

Hmm, I said. Have you had a reading, Lurleen?

It’s not like I believe in fortune telling, Lurleen said. The readings I’ve had are more like psychotherapy sessions. The person kind of pulls out of you what you’re worrying about.

Tarot cards strike me as New Age stuff, I said. Might be Crystal has the right name for that sort of thing.

Don’t dismiss it until you’ve tried it, Ditie, Lurleen said. As to why you were invited to the book club, I’m not entirely sure. We both read cozy mysteries, and this book club will be all about cozy mysteries, maybe with a ghost or two thrown in. Anyway, when Stephanie invited me, she asked if you could come along. She thought the two of us could give some insights into real murders we’ve investigated.

What did you tell her about us, Lurleen?

Not much, but she seemed to know all about our past cases.

Past cases?

Maybe I did show her a chapter or two from a book I’m writing, collecting our cases, kind of like what Dr. Watson did for Sherlock Holmes. She said they were really good, and I should keep working on them.

I want to read them, Lucie said.

You should, Luce, Lurleen said. "You’re in a couple of them when you helped us solve a case. When I have polished the stories some more, I’ll show them to you.

Mason came downstairs before I could comment.

I thought you had a book club tonight, he said, and I was on duty.

You are. I looked at my watch. We better get going.

We stood and Lurleen opened her cape so Mason could see her outfit underneath.

Wow, stunning! Mason said. You both look great!

Sometimes I had to remind myself how wonderful it was to have Mason as my newly minted husband. Our wedding was three months ago, and in some ways it felt like years, as if we’d always been together. But in other ways, it seemed more like minutes, amazing minutes, and at times like this I couldn’t believe my good fortune. Mason made me feel beautiful every time he looked in my direction, every time he touched me.

We headed for the door with my dog getting in the mix. Careful, Hermione, Lurleen said, I can’t have dog hairs on this outfit. Cat hairs might be okay—where did Majestic go?

He appeared as if by magic. Lurleen was the only person I knew who could call for him and he would come. She scooped him up, kissed him on his nose and set him back down again. A cat whisperer for sure, but that was only one of her magic powers.

As my best friend since I moved back to Atlanta, Lurleen could do a million magic tricks without waving any kind of wand. My brother, Tommy, could do his share but his were the more standard kinds of magic, a quarter behind an ear, a card trick.

For Lurleen, the magic just happened. When she entered a room the whole space brightened. She saw someone who needed comforting and soon they were feeling better. Almost all her magic was for good, but occasionally it could be disturbing. Lurleen had an uncanny ability to sniff out murders and an unsettling determination to find the killers involved. I often got carried along for the ride.

That wasn’t quite fair because I was just as curious as Lurleen. We were both determined to right the wrongs of the world, but I had other responsibilities like my work in the refugee clinic, my need to care for and protect my children and, of course, making sure I had time for Mason.

Lucie and Jason had been through more trauma than anyone deserved. Their mom, my childhood friend Ellie, had been murdered. I promised her I’d look after her kids if anything should happen to her and I’d kept that promise. They were now my adopted children, and I couldn’t imagine life without them. As for Mason, I met him at the same time Ellie was killed. He was a kind and caring Atlanta city police detective, and as the saying goes, the rest is history.

We were a huddled mass at our front door, hugging and kissing as if Lurleen and I would be gone for days and not for a couple of hours.

Lurleen looked at her watch. We’ll be late.

I ran to the kitchen, grabbed my plate of pumpkin spice cookies and headed out the door to Lurleen’s yellow Citroen. It was a tiny car and I wasn’t sure how Lurleen’s long legs fit inside but they did. I had to do a little more squishing with my round body and plate full of cookies to get comfortable, but she’d been insistent on taking her car. We can’t arrive in your old Toyota, no offense, but it would ruin my entire look.

I didn’t protest. Lurleen knew where we were going and the people who would be there. I hadn’t met any of them, and I asked at least a dozen times if they knew I was coming.

They know, Lurleen said. They know we are real-life detectives, and they can’t wait to meet you.

Lurleen, what stories have you told them?

Nothing but the truth. Maybe I added a little color to what we’d done but not much.

Do you know who else is coming? I asked.

Stephanie mentioned a few names but I haven’t met most of them either, Lurleen said. It’s a small group, I think. Let’s see—there’s Crystal who will do some tarot card readings if we want her to, Nicole, whom Stephanie has known for a long time and Stephanie’s Aunt Josie. I think there might be  a few more: Adeline someone and a neighbor who loves cozy mysteries and begged to be included.

The ride was remarkably short. Stephanie lived a mile away, close to the heart of the Virginia-Highland neighborhood with all its shops and restaurants. Lurleen lived five minutes from me but in the opposite direction.

Why did Stephanie want to start a book club? I asked.

"I think she doesn’t have enough to do even with volunteering. Her husband, Jonathan, works for the Centers for Disease Control, and she says he’s never around. Frankly, I think she’s lonely. She had a tarot card reading with Crystal that said she needed to make more friends. I suggested a mystery book club because Stephanie and I both love to read mysteries, the spooky kind but not thrillers. Those are way too scary. The one for tonight, A Ghost Around Every Corner, seemed super appropriate for this time of year without being too frightening."

She looked at me. Did you finish it? I know how busy you’ve been lately.

Of course I did, Lurleen.

Lurleen smiled. Don’t get your feathers in a huff. I know you follow through on every commitment you make.

My feathers in a huff?

"You know what I mean. ‘Ne te dérange pas’."

Lurleen had a love affair with all things French, and that was probably part of what attracted her to Danny, her live-in boyfriend. He’d studied French in college and liked to share what he knew with Lurleen. She’d been happy to use her own version of the language, but bit by bit Danny was teaching her more standard phrases like the one she just used—don’t disturb yourself.

I’m not disturbed, I said. I enjoyed the book.

I didn’t have time to say more.

We pulled up to Stephanie’s house, a white colonial with what appeared to be lighted candles in the downstairs windows. The rest of the house looked dark. We parked behind two cars in the driveway and had barely gotten out of Lurleen’s Citroen when the front door of the house flew open.

Oh my goodness, a woman called. Thank heavens you’re here. We need a doctor—if it’s not too late for that.

The woman had to be Stephanie. She looked a little younger than me, in her early thirties I’d guess, a tall woman, slender verging on thin. She was dressed in a black sweater and skirt with her dark hair flying in every direction. She could easily have passed for a witch, one who looked sightly unhinged, but that was probably because of whatever was going on in her house.

I grabbed my medical bag, the spare one I carried with me, mainly so I’d always have access to an Epipen, and ran into the house with Lurleen close behind.

2

T hank goodness, Dr. Brown, the frazzled woman said. It’s Nicole, Nicole Ash over there.

She pointed to the far corner of the room where a woman, probably in her thirties, lay sprawled on Stephanie’s gleaming hardwood floor.

The woman was lying in front of a chair on the edge of an oriental rug. Her blond hair was splayed around her head, and her blue eyes were open, staring at nothing I could see. She appeared to be in a state of shock.

Hi, Nicole, I’m Ditie Brown, a doctor. Can you talk to me? I felt her pulse, which was strong and steady, and took a cursory look at her. She tried to sit up and I told her to wait a minute. Did you fall or faint? I asked. Did you hit your head on anything?

I don’t think so, Nicole said. She seemed to be coming back to herself, and this time she insisted on sitting up. I thought I saw something outside the window. I must have screamed, and I don’t know what happened next. I think I tried to duck out of the way.

I stared in the direction she pointed. A window that looked out on Stephanie’s back yard was dark.

Are you certain you didn’t hurt yourself when you ducked, I asked again, and that you didn’t lose consciousness? You seemed a little dazed a moment ago.

I didn’t hurt myself. Maybe I did faint but I’m fine now.

I helped her stand and got her settled in a chair that wasn’t facing the window.

What did you see? I asked.

She whipped her head around once more to look.

It’s more what I thought I saw. I don’t know if I can describe it. I don’t want to describe it! She sat up straighter in her chair. It was ghoulish, a figure with a face that looked like a skull with a horrible grin, a rictus grin like risus sardonicus.

I stood back from her. How do you know that term? Are you a doctor or a nurse?

A nurse, she said, and yes, it’s the kind of grin we sometimes see on people after they die. Clenched muscles, a gaping smile. That’s what it looked like and that’s why I called it ghoulish.

At this point two women and one man stood clustered around us. I hadn’t noticed them when I came in but they all seemed intent on hearing what Nicole had to say. Lurleen went to the back window and asked Stephanie if she had an outside light for the yard.

Yes, of course, Stephanie said. She switched it on and even from where I was standing I could see a well-lit patio with potted plants along the edges of a small raised platform.

How could you see him? I asked Nicole. Was his face illuminated?

Yes, illuminated. It didn’t look like a he, more like a thing.

I’m taking a look, Lurleen said.

I’ll go with you. That came from the only man in the room.

Should we call the police? someone asked.

It was most likely a prank, Stephanie said. We have a lot of kids in the neighborhood, and I wouldn’t put it past any of them to play a Halloween joke on us. Your boys knew about the book club, didn’t they, Dawn?

Dawn who had been standing near Stephanie took a giant step back from her. My boys? They wouldn’t do something like this!

This smacks of what teenage boys might find very amusing, Stephanie said.

Dawn frowned at her, rubbed a hand over her short dark hair and settled on a couch several feet away from where Stephanie stood.

It was obvious nerves were getting frayed, and I decided it was time to intervene. Lurleen, why don’t you check the back yard with anyone who wants to go. I’ll stay here with Nicole and see if she can remember anything more about what she saw. Halloween is a week away, so a Halloween prank sounds likely.

Got it, Lurleen said. Let’s go.

The man followed Lurleen. Everyone else remained inside

I’ve been a little jumpy lately, Nicole said. I’m sure it was a neighborhood kid with a great costume, nothing more than that.

Let me get you something to drink, Stephanie said, assuming you’re done with your examination, Dr. Brown.

Almost, I said. Nicole, may I feel your head to make sure you didn’t hit it when you passed out. Same for your arms and legs if you don’t mind.

It’s overkill, Nicole said, but if you insist.

People in this newly-formed book club seemed quick to bristle.

Why don’t we find a private place to do that? I said.

Stephanie showed us to a guest bedroom, and I felt Nicole’s head and then looked over her arms and legs. There were scratches and bruises on her body; some looked old and some more recent.

Alarm bells went off in my head.

As a pediatrician I mainly looked for abuse in the children I saw, but Nicole had me worried.

She pulled her arm away when she saw me examining a bruise in some detail.

That’s enough, she said putting on her jacket.

I spoke as quietly as I could. Where did the bruises and scratches come from?

Not from an abusive husband if that’s what you’re imagining. I’m not married. Now, I clearly felt her anger. I don’t know you, and you’re treating me like a battered woman. Where do you get off?

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come on too strong, but you have a lot of scratches and some bruising that looks old.

I’m a hiker and I like to go on back trails and that’s where the scratches come from. The bruising—well, when you go into the back woods it’s easy to stumble. I’ve taken some falls. Now, if you’re done with your third degree, can we join the others?

Of course, I said.

I wasn’t sure if Nicole needed a drink, but I did. This book club was getting off to a very rocky start.

When we came back to the living room, Stephanie handed each of us a glass of white wine. I have red if you prefer.

No, thanks, I said, this is just what I need.

Lurleen and the man who went with her to check the back yard had returned. We found nothing outside, Lurleen said. Maybe some footprints, but it’s too dark to tell for sure.

Nicole took her glass and sat as far away from me as she could get. No one seemed to notice the chill between us except perhaps the man. He kept glancing back and forth between us and settled on a seat beside Nicole.

I think Lurleen spotted something at that point, and she sat down beside me.

Everything okay? she whispered to me.

Not sure, I whispered back.

It was a prank, Nicole said, nothing more. I’m sorry I overreacted. Can we pretend it didn’t happen?

We can, Dawn said. She was about my height with a pixie hair cut that suited her small frame. I’ve been looking forward to this group for a month. I read one or two mysteries a week. It’s wonderful to finally find a place where people respect mysteries and don’t think I have a weak brain because I read them.

No one could think that about you, Stephanie said. Dawn is a physical therapist and a yoga instructor.

May I start the introductions? Dawn asked. She didn’t wait for a reply. As I mentioned I love mysteries, and I’m Stephanie’s neighbor. When I heard about the book club, I begged to be included. My work is very physical, so it’s nice to relax with a book at night. I have two sons and a husband who keeps them in line. Not that he needs to because they’re really good kids.

She looked at Stephanie, eyebrows raised.

I didn’t mean to imply they weren’t, Stephanie said, but they’re at that age, too old for Halloween and just old enough to cause mischief.

Shall we move on? Lurleen asked. Ditie doesn’t know any of you.

Nicole went next. I’m sure you’ve formed an opinion of me already. I’m not usually the hysterical type. I’m a nurse and Stephanie and I go way back. I was flattered she wanted to include me in the group, and I promise you I don’t normally overreact to things. She pointed to the one man in the group. Nate is a mutual friend that Stephanie and I both know. When he heard about the group he insisted on coming.

Nate was a good-looking man, likely in his late thirties, the kind of man who undoubtedly worked out every day and probably enjoyed the attention he got for his super-charged physique. 

Hi, he said. I’ve been a jack of all trades and a gardener on Stephanie’s father’s estate. That’s where I met Nicole and Steph. I’m not much of a reader but I thought it would be a good idea to work on that.

It looked to me as if Nate worked on a lot of things, like his body and his desire to be appealing to women. Maybe I wasn’t being fair, but it was something about the grin he turned on all of us. It struck me as ingratiating, possibly seductive.

I’ll go next, said the woman on the other side of Nate. I’m Crystal, a homemaker. I live near Nicole. Through her, I met Stephanie. I dabble in the Dark Arts but only for the good of the world. I brought my tarot cards in case anyone would like a reading later on. She pushed her shoulder length crimson hair away from her face perhaps to show a more serious side of herself, or perhaps she wanted to highlight the black streak of hair that ran from scalp to chin along the right side of her face. I wondered if it was there for the sake of drama. Everything about Crystal seemed to exude drama from her bright red lipstick to her smokey eye shadow. If she was doing a tarot card reading I assumed she could be very convincing.

After a brief pause, Lurleen and I introduced ourselves. Lurleen emphasized her love of the unknown and her fascination with mysteries. I stuck to a more practical description of myself as a physician and the mother of two.

We’re waiting on one more person, Stephanie said, my Aunt Josie. She was happy to help organize the book club when she heard about the reading I had with Crystal. That reading suggested I  needed to get out more and expand my friendships. When I spoke to Lurleen about it, she said a book club is the perfect place to get to know people.

While we wait for your aunt I wonder if we might do some relaxation techniques, Dawn said. Stephanie suggested I bring over some equipment to do that, and it looks as if this might be as good a time as any.

Let’s start with ringing a bell and lighting a candle, Stephanie said. That’s what I planned to do before all the excitement happened. Perhaps she saw the look on my face. "No worries, Dr. Brown. I won’t be inviting spirits to this session even though they figure heavily in the book we read. I understand you are not a believer in the occult although Lurleen did say you had one or two experiences you couldn’t explain through