Singapore Siu Dai: The SG Conversation In A Cup

By Felix Cheong

Life in Singapore is good, sometimes even — dare we say it? — absurd. In Singapore Siu Dai, Felix Cheong, with a little help from illustrator PMan, finds humour in the everyday. From our kiasu behaviour to weird geographical boundaries called GRCs and OB markers, no quirk is left unturned.

These 50 short stories, praised by Singapore’s top humorists for their brew of wit and snappy storytelling, will raise the so-called SG Conversation to a new, satirical pitch. So laugh along as we look forward to Singapore’s 50th birthday!

“Read Felix’s twisted but funny stories about life, love, school, men, women, stupidity and some more subjects as well. These stories are fresh material. Instead of thinking that life is great and spend time yanking a nose hair, you should sit back, relax and enjoy Singapore Siu Dai.”
- Moe Alkaff, comedian

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ethos Books
• Release date: Jul 25, 2023
• ISBN: 9789811176036

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singapore siu dai

Singapore Siu Dai: Th e SG Conversation in a Cup

Text © Felix Cheong, 2014

Cover illustration © Miel, 2014

Inside illustrations © PMan, 2014

ISBN 978-981-07-8858-2 (paperback)

ISBN 978-981-11-7603-6 (ebook)

Published under the imprint Ethos Books by

Pagesetters Services Pte Ltd

28 Sin Ming Lane

#06-131 Midview City

Singapore 573972

www.ethosbooks.com.sg

www.facebook.com/ethosbooks

—

Design and layout by Pagesetters Services Pte Ltd

Cover design by Tay Khai Xin

Cover illustration by Miel

Fourth printing, 2019 by Ho Printing Singapore Pte Ltd

Typefaces: 12pt Minion Pro; 18/30/48pt Christopherhand

Material: Cover – 260gsm Matt Art Card

Content – 70gsm Prima Antique Cream

All rights reserved. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

National Library Board, Singapore Cataloguing-in-Publication Data

Cheong, Felix.

Singapore siu dai : the SG conversation in a cup / by Felix Cheong ; illustrations by PMan. – Singapore : Ethos Books, [2014]

pages cm

ISBN : 978-981-07-8858-2 (paperback)

1. Singapore – Fiction. I. PMan. II. Title.

PR9570.S53

S823 -- dc23

OCN867745647

singapore siu dai

By The Same Author

Poetry

Temptation and Other Poems (1998)

I Watch the Stars Go Out (1999)

Broken by the Rain (2003)

Sudden in Youth: New and Selected Poems (2009)

Young adult fiction

The Call from Crying House (2006)

The Woman in the Last Carriage (2007)

Fiction

Vanishing Point (2012)

Singapore Siu Dai 2: The SG Conversation Upsize! (2014)

Singapore Siu Dai 3: The SG Conversation Dabao! (2016)

Non-fiction

Different (2005)

Acknowledgements

Thanks once again to Hoe Fang for taking a chance with this book, even though it is something outside my comfort zone;

To Toast Box at 112 Katong, where I spent many teh-stained teeth afternoons writing;

To Moe, Adrian, Prem and Colin, for your kind blurbs;

To Neil, for your incisive foreword;

To Miel, for such a beautiful cover;

To my collaborator-in-crime, PMan, for your quirky illustrations that cut right to the heart of Singaporeans;

To my old friend, David, for your encouraging feedback when this manuscript was still struggling to get off the ground;

And to my wife Georgette, who kept these stories on a tight leash with your comments.

The Great Calibrator: A Science Fiction Fable was first published in breakfastnetwork.sg

Contents

Foreword by Neil Humphreys

The Life of Slices

Taxi Woes I

Taxi Woes II

Train Woes I

Train Woes II

Train Woes III

Distance Matters I

Distance Matters II

SG Conversation

A Day at Toast Box°

Sturdy Notes

Disappearing Act

Graffiti Confusion

Mr. OB’s Marker° I

Mr. OB’s Marker II

Tank You

A Day in the Office

At the Matchmaker I

At the Matchmaker II

At the Matchmaker III

At the Matchmaker IV

At the Matchmaker V

At the Censors

Language Therapy for Teens

At the Police Post

Captain Obvious I

Captain Obvious II

Captain Obvious III

SingaSore

A Day at the Races

The Trade-off

Beng Out of Shape

Most Wanted

The Fussy Employee

Writing on the Wall

Lost and Spaced Out

Group Effort

Shifting Maps

Like That Law

Pay Matters

First World Problems

Game Over

If only…

‘Allo ‘Allo

The True Story of Ah Queue

A Flash in the Trend

Chope!

Exam Fever

The Great Calibrator: A Science-Fiction Fable

GSS I

GSS II

G-Men I

G-Men II

G-Men III

Glossary

About the Author

About the Illustrator

"It's okay to say you've got a weak spot.

You don't always have to be on top.

Better to be hated than loved, loved,

loved for what you're not."

– I Am Not a Robot,

Marina and the Diamonds

Foreword

Felix Cheong gets it. He always has. Hold up a mirror to a face-saving society for too long and the initial dazzle gives way to irritation.

In the unremitting glare, the critical mirror burns the face. Humour is the emollient that softens the impact. In other words, make them laugh or they will come after you with a parang.°

Felix tiptoes across that ever shrinking tightrope with characteristic panache. A man after my own mischievous heart, he goes after them all: inane censorship, parental kiasuism,° economic Darwinism, the shameful exploitation of foreign workers and, of course, the answer to all our societal problems – a packet of tissue paper.

But he satirises. He never