The Beloved Woman: Biblical Roles and Virtues of Women in Marriage

By Joanne Davis

This book disagrees about the traditional viewpoint of the Christian wife’s role at home, and advocates married women to work and have their own careers. This viewpoint is based on careful exegesis of the relevant biblical scriptures throughout the Bible. It also proposes that fathers rather than mothers shall be primary teachers for their children at home. In addition, this book also suggests that mothers should not take on the responsibility for homeschooling unless they are called to teach young people at home. Hope these refreshed biblical interpretations from a female Calvinist can shed new light on Christian women’s roles and virtue at home.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jun 2, 2023
• ISBN: 9781664298729

Joanne Davis

Joanne Davis is a Calvinist. She is a member of Grace Community Church in Los Angeles, California. She holds a Master’s degree in MSc. Psychology from Cardiff University and a Bachelor’s degree in BSc. Psychology from the University of York. She earned her M.Div degree at Claremont School of Theology in California, where she found herself unfitting yet growing in her faith with challenges from all other religions.

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Copyright © 2023 Joanne Davis.

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Unless marked otherwise, all scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

ISBN: 978-1-6642-9873-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-9872-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023908086

WestBow Press rev. date: 6/2/2023

Contents

Introduction

Chapter One: Exploring the Definition of Helper

Part I: Do Social Changes Determine Married Women’s Biblical Roles?

Part II: What Defines A Good Helper

A Companion

A Suitable Helper

An Equal Advisor

An Affection-Dependent Helper

A Child-Bearer

Part III: What Defines a Bad Helper?

The Housewife

Chapter Two: How to Become an Excellent Helper

Part I: A Restored Relationship by Grace

Part II: The Model of A Virtuous Helper

The Excellent Wife

Part III: The Submissive Wife

Why Should Wives Submit to Their Husbands?

Things to Remember Before You Submit

How to Submit

Part IV: Submit or Not Submit to a Non-Believing Husband?

Chapter Three: Is Homeschooling Essential or Even Necessary?

Conclusion

References

Introduction

When God calls a woman to become a godly wife, what exactly is she called to do and be? Does she orient her familial roles based on the ancient words of God described in the Bible or shall she adapt her role at home to the societal norm of her time and place?

As women excel in their academic studies and have increased interest in self-actualization through their careers, more job opportunities across various industries have welcomed them. Nowadays, women can achieve as much as men at work, so they no longer need to obtain living materials through marriage or bearing children. On the other hand, traditional biblical exegeses proclaim that a Christian wife shall stay home, maintain the home, and homeschool their children because she is designed by God to be an excellent helper for her husband, bringing up godly children for him as he provides financially and in leadership. How should a Christian wife play her role at home to be a perfect wife? Is she supposed to excel at work while caring for her family simultaneously as some kind of super-heroine? Or is she supposed to function as a housewife, mother, and teacher?

When the ancestral couple sinned, Eve was no longer the best helper to Adam. She was cursed into desiring Adam instead of being desired by him. According to traditional interpretations, Eve challenged or even contested Adam’s authority in order to possess him, so Adam had to rule over her as a defense for his authority. Thus, since the fall, Adam ruled Eve as a dominator rather than loving her as a husband. The unified one flesh, no matter how beautiful and harmonious it had been, was destroyed since the fall. When women were domesticated as housewives and economically inferior to men, women were treated as the less intelligent and capable human being who had to depend on their husbands and sons to survive, and can only justify their status in the family through childbearing and child rearing.

People often believe that in today’s society, since women have gained economic independence, which recovers their social and financial status, the wife’s economic independence empowers her and fuels her desire to dominate her husband and to rule over him, who is nevertheless granted the authority to rule over her since the fall. When hiatus and conflicts arise between them, her economic independence produces her alienation from her husband. In this case, some suggest that a Christian wife should give up her career and recover her role as a housewife for her husband and children so economic independence would have no impact on her marriage and the couple can maintain peace. However, the issue of contention for power does not stem from Eve’s desire for her husband but simply a human desire for power because conflicts for power are common within the same gender in the workplace or among siblings in the same household. Women’s desire for their husbands shall be reinterpreted in a new light to uncover God’s real condemnation of women after Eve misled her husband to sin. In addition, Adam was given the teaching authority over Eve and his household from the beginning; although mothers are the primary carers for their children, there are biblical reasons for mothers not to teach their children at home as their primary teachers.

With a better understanding of the purpose of God’s creation of women, women can regain their status and dignity with redefined roles for marriage, which will then make them the best helpers to their husbands. This book will discuss how women should re-identify themselves in marriage and live as excellent wives and mothers in God’s design based on prudential exegesis of key scriptures from both the Old and New Testament in a new perspective.

Chapter One

EXPLORING THE DEFINITION OF HELPER

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Part I: Do Social Changes Determine Married Women’s Biblical Roles?

Given that family structures and dynamics never endure social changes but are shaped by economic demands, it is understandable that the woman’s role at home changes with historical events like industrial revolutions and world wars. Let us take a look at the changes in both Asian and American women’s roles at home over the last few decades.

It had been a traditional Japanese culture and practice for women to be housewives after getting married until the 1980s (Hendry 1986; Morsbach 1978). However, the percentage of working women in the female population of Japan is higher now than that in America, attributed to Japan’s desire for economic prosperity in the 1980s (Soble 2015). Unfortunately, because their predominant role is mother and wife according to the Japanese tradition (Hirata and Warschauer 2014; Nemoto 2013), when mothers participate in the labor force, they usually choose part-time or low-paying jobs to accommodate the needs of their children and husbands.

Similarly, Chinese married women’s roles at home have also gone through dramatic changes over the last half century since the country became independent in 1949. Chinese women were usually under-educated and worked at home as housewives and child-bearers in the 1950s-1960s. During the Cultural Revolution (1966-1976), they were either working as educated wives in the cities or were displaced by the government to farming in the countryside. Since the late 1980s and early 1990s, in the Chinese Economic Reform, both educated women in the cities and uneducated women in the countryside found more working opportunities in major coastal cities where various levels of jobs were available to them. Nowadays, in China, society encourages married women to keep their jobs beyond fulfilling their childcare and housekeeping roles. Thus, Chinese women have become working mothers who can share their household responsibilities with their husbands since the Reform and Opening during the 1980s. Also, after six months of breastfeeding, in order to keep her working position in the company, a married Chinese woman may have to leave the babysitting responsibilities during her working hours to her mother or mother-in-law. In contrast, during the Great Depression (1929-1939), American married women were banned from working due to the exceedingly high unemployment rate. Employed married women were blamed for selfishness and shortsightedness because they competed job opportunities with single women who had to support their own living. In the 1930s, a spike of policies were made to discriminate against women working when they were married (Blakemore, 2019).

Governments make policies for the desired economic development and a balanced unemployment rate in the labor market. This explains the sharp increase in the Japanese women’s employment rate since the 1980s, the spinning life of the Chinese married women since the Reformed and Open policy in early 1980s, and the high unemployment rate among American married women during 1929-1933. However, does it mean that women’s biblical roles at home should also vary depending on social and economic changes? No. A married woman’s job position and working location may vary with social changes but her biblical roles at home can definitely bear any of these changes. They may hold managerial positions or work as a waitress, either employed outside the house or working from home, but their role as God’s steward for the earth shall never be forfeited. Married women shall work because Eve was commanded to work right after she was made Adam’s helper. Therefore, a good helper is supposed to work with the potential she is equipped with. The following text will show how working is essential for a good helper.

Part II: What Defines A Good Helper

◆ A Companion

"Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’" (Genesis 2:18)

Does the role of helper really require a woman to dedicate herself sacrificially to her household? No. God made her a helper fit for him (Adam), not fit for home. When God saw that it was not good for