You and Me, Never Us

By Sneha Biswas

An occasional mysterious dream man haunts Shreya in her thoughts and in the broad light of the day. We do not know who this person is that she talks too often within herself. She is haunted by reality as much as she is haunted by this stranger of a man. Her love and lust for him have grown manifold, and she does not know how to keep away from his thoughts. She is growingly becoming hotter and more tempting to him, and there is no way he can ignore her as well. Is it all a play in her own mind, or is there really someone with voyeuristic instincts seeking her absolute submission?

She is married and has been so many years with a hard-working bloke, Tapas, who seems to love her through thick and thin. However, his love is not enough to arouse her in her absolutely lonely hours. She is really very upset and mortified by this harsh man, who gives her sexual dreams and plays with her head, and thus we recognize women like her could be so vulnerable, and maybe she is also a writer in the hiding.

An exceptionally gifted mother, who never finds her voice, she is aroused and also told to follow her own life path and gets many premotions to chase her dreams and career and choices in her life. She goes through many awakenings, and thus her life becomes altogether a different one after the entry of this man, who had called upon her dreams in ways that are unknown to others. She is feeling depressed. Is he the reason, or is she herself making it out to be too much? What is her dilemma? Why is she so sad?

She is a mother who needs her daughter’s love and, basically in her battles with Tapas, she realizes what a flawed marriage she is living through these years. She seeks more and aims to better her life, but would it be at the cost of losing her own husband or the man in her dreams? Do we find out?

Her therapist, who she goes to for consultation, has decided after many sittings to put her on medication for concocting realities that she cannot come out of. She is clearly depressed and has had no friends, much to her disgrace, although she thinks she is happier without all. She is constantly seeing someone in her mind’s eye, and she is troubled by him and his thoughts. She is even mumbling words to him and he is doing the same to her.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: May 23, 2023
• ISBN: 9781669874713

Sneha Biswas

Let me introduce her by saying that she is a brooder and a lustful wanderer at heart. She has a quest for the unknown and finds pleasure in traveling to different countries’ parts. She is a connoisseur of good food and art. She has a knack for solving life’s problems and feels high from the little discoveries she makes in her head. She was born and raised on Indian soil and lives in Seattle with her two daughters and her husband. She has seen and lived the American life for the past seven years. However, she remains a humble Indian at heart. She likes the rain but not so much the rainy weather. She often turns to writing on days depression takes the better of her and sees herself getting ruined in it. Her first work was a collection of poems namely, In the Gossamer of Imagination. It was published almost a few years back, in the year 2018, and sold many copies, mostly bought by her inner social circle she likes to sit and dine with. It is for them a precious piece of her work that she has written down in the form of a collectible. Needless to say, a keepsake that transcends every dimension that denies all the facades of time and space, and traveling into another era of broken minds and hearts is her next story that makes women fall apart. Through her next work, You and Me, Never Us, she has given more sexual dreams than one can take. Your underwear might well get wet. It gives you mysteries of the mind and slays the devil inside. It is a pleasure-seeking book with anecdotes of love and life and light and self-realizations in daily life. It is an accomplishment of a mother, how she becomes her own world, and a warrior that truly gains courage, might, flavor, and harmony while splitting into two in her head. This work of excellence speaks volumes about the author herself who is excellent in prose writing, almost tragic in many ways. It is this author that will stir you and make you believe there is more than what meets the eye in her beautifully lyrical writing. Sneha Biswas’s best work thus which needs to be read with a better pair of eyes. She implores everyone to check on others for depression in marriages as it can be life-threatening and affect mental life and health. Good and bad marriages exist, and this is definitely one that tells you another story, a life that has become lifeless and almost mortified. In her years as she passes through pregnancy and then motherhood, self-love becomes her greatest strength.

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Copyright © 2023 by Sneha Biswas.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 04/25/2023

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Contents

1 The Man Who Gave Her Illusion

2 Shreya’s Internal Awakening Takes a Different Twist

3 There Was No Love

4 Shreya’s Falling Apart

5 The Strange Man Leaves Her in Pieces

6 Good News Arrives

7 The Daughter Brings Out Shreya’s Love

8 Her Sadness Wakes Her Up into Her Own

9 Her Sexual Side Speaks Volumes

10 Self-Discovery and Lustful Interactions

11 Treads on Self-Healing Sojourn

12 Her Mind Is Clear

To Siona and Tiara and their daddy

who love me beyond measure.

1

The Man Who Gave

Her Illusion

S HE NEVER LIVED for herself, and she did not know what to do about so many things in life; she was missing. She started seething in anger, looking forward to happier days in the land of yore. She lived a little and wondered a lot. Her life was never so easy. Live for you, your heart craves me, he said.

Stranger began to come. He saved her from her own world and from her own pride. He gave her a life inside of her that she did not see coming at all.

Her epiphanies were plentiful and she decided to cut the cord of pain and see life past its hurdles, and she became all that she wanted to be all because she believed. She believed in her mettle.

She smelled of passion, she smelled of being a winner, and she smelled of a woman empowered. She smelled of raw talent, and she smelled of things she had never tried before. She had become complete and all-encompassing, and she did not realize what an awakened woman she was to the whole world.

When she felt all alone, losing a grip over her mind and body, giving up all of herself was not even a thing anymore, and she tried anew every day. The whole time she was cursing herself, but maybe it was not even her fault. It was a problem with her past and her upbringing, frankly.

You are never alone in your thoughts. Always with me and yet not so much so well, for you are foolish, and think I would always be for you. (Stranger’s anointed words give her no peace and calmness within her storm.)

You are brutal strength, and in your falling apart you come together. Your eyes give away more than they can tell. I am becoming weak in my legs, and there is no obsession better than you. Giving away more to me than you have given to anyone else I know. Your weakness is my strength, and please do not let me go from you. I will cry a morbid death for you. Please do not let me go. Let us not die too young all too soon. In your eyes, you are hiding explosions. In your eyes, there is truth and malignant love, and there is me and you. In your eyes, I see your life. You are my whole soul, all of it, and even more, you are my most true, most unjudgmental. You are my very own. My own, and most effortlessly, I come back to you, he spoke subtly.

As if this was the kind of love, longing, praise, and self-healing she needed for years. She realized what importance it held at that decisive moment; of submission to him that only her mental disorder kept telling her repeatedly to repair, but she did not know a way out of it and what she could do.

(Stranger walked in quietly. Shreya let him take control of her mind. She lost all mental peace and her dignity and felt broken deeply from the inside. She became what he wanted her to be. Her mental state sharply declined at the right time.)

She cried last night, hot tears rolling down her flushing cheeks. She realized her value in his eyes, that it was fated to be what it was.

(Stranger spoke.) I peek into your mind and show you the way, he said.

Shreya wanted to comfort him by showing