Homecoming

By Maggie Bowyer

Homecoming tells the story of a survivor of childhood trauma. 

In Maggie Bowyer's fifth poetry collection, they take us on a deep, sometimes dark, journey toward healing

• Language: English
• Publisher: Grant Lacey
• Release date: Jul 25, 2023
• ISBN: 9798987027738

Maggie Bowyer

Maggie Bowyer (they/he) is a poet, cat parent, and the author of various poetry collections including Allergies (2023) and When I Bleed (2021). They are a co-host of the podcast Baked and Bookish. They have been featured in The Abbey Review, Chapter House Journal, The Elevation Review, The South Dakota Review, Wishbone Words, and more. They were the Editor-in-Chief of The Lariat Newspaper, a quarter-finalist in Brave New Voices 2016, and a Marilyn Miller Poet Laureate. You can find their work on Instagram and TikTok @maggie.writes.

Book preview

Homecoming

Maggie Bowyer

Copyright © 2023 by Maggie Bowyer

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the author at the email address below.

Maggie Bowyer

Greensboro, North Carolina

www.maggiebowyer.com

[e-mail]

ISBN: 979-8-9870277-2-1

Ebook IBSN: 979-8-9870277-3-8

Printed in the United States of America

First Printing, 2023

Dedication

For my biggest supporter, my lover, my home, Grant

The Running

I grew up  t h r o u g h  a hole

in the ground  surrounded

by panes of glass that sprouted  up

right next to me  encapsulating

my energy  and  holding hostage

each of my screams.

The sunshine   filtered   t h r o u g h

The skylight that is my life -

If I angle myself  just   right

I can harness the sun's heat,

burn the pain   right   out of my abdomen.

All the little ways   I lit myself on fire

to get someone to notice

the situation was dire;

all I have ever done is tire

myself   and   everyone else.

The marble  r i p p l i n g  against

my only bit     of femininity -

I am a sculpture  impossible  to insure,

heavily insecure  and   impure,

I scream  when they try to move me,

threaten to  s h a t t e r   the glass closet

protecting me     this is the reckoning.

Keep talking, I whisper to my body.

I'm listening.

Love Always, Mom

A found poem from letters from my mom

It’s strange,

The range of emotions

you must be experiencing.

I’m sorry.

Soon we will talk.

My actions caused so much pain.

It’s hard to believe.

The only thing missing

Is you.

I don’t know where to begin.

I owe you,

And God.

Please,

Give me hope

We’ll be together soon.

You still love me.

I can hold you.

I will never let go.

I am proud of you.

I am thinking of you.

Finally getting my closet clean,

Finally getting clean,

Thinking of you

Every minute

Of every day.

There are memories you will cherish.

I am stronger than I ever realized.

I still have a lot to do,

I will have the opportunity.

I owe you.

This is so hard.

Please,

This is not to hurt you.

I caused a fracture that

Will always be there for you.

I have created

The things you need.

Did you notice?

Yes, me!

I want you to hear from me.

What was different about me?

I’m empowered.

I have a handle on things.

I miss being a part of your life,

Of school, friends.

I am the reason

We are not connected.

It does not make

missing you any easier.

I am so sorry

I’m not there for you

In spirit

And in soul.

Love always, mom

Medical History

Mom has had Myasthenia Gravis and a slew of other illnesses most people can’t pronounce / I am not most people / I knew how to perform CPR before most of my friends knew how to do long division / Dad has high cholesterol and the bones in his shoulder slide over one another uncomfortably / My nana has glaucoma and my papa had skin cancer but beats it back each time / I’m surprised they’ve both survived so long after losing my mom / My mom had Endometriosis but somehow never suspected I did too, but surprise! I have had it removed not once, but twice! / My family history includes PTSD (meaning it runs in my family and my family is the cause of my own) / Suicide also tends to be tied the women on my mother’s side / It seems to skip a generation so even though I have ideation, I think I will be alright / There’s probably a few things that I’m missing (I’m always missing something - thanks, brain fog!) but that’s the gist of my family history / Now how about we get into the epic poem that is composed of my collection of chronic conditions...

[Leave a Message After the Beep]

Was I late to your party,

Crowd already thinning?

Was there no chance

For a new beginning?

Had life exhausted you,

Or am I right to be covered

In guilt, like it's honey

Coating my hair?

How do I wash this out without you

Holding my head over the kitchen sink?

Were you asking yourself

Why I wasn't there?

Were you just as disappointed in me?

Were you in pain?

Did you know what you were doing?

Do you know I still love you?

I'm sure you know I'm angry,

But really I am questioning

Was this all just a means

Of abandoning me?

What were