Mother Dear: The Life and Times of Nettie Mariah Ford Gethers

By Margaret Ann Gethers Scott, Ph.D.

Mother Dear: The Life and Times of Nettie Mariah Ford Gethers is divided into three parts: The Memoir, The Interview, and The Obituary. The memoir and the interview are previously unpublished family history documents rendered in the words of my mother, Nettie Mariah Ford Gethers, aka Mother Dear. In the interest of authenticity, I have retained Mother Dear's words as written in the memoir and as spoken in the interview.

 

I had always thought I would someday publish Mother Dear's memoir and interview together under a single title. Upon completing my book I Come from Bowman Lane: A Family History Memoir, I realized how frequently I had cited Mother Dear's words. It was then that I decided to publish the memoir and the interview as a companion to I Come from Bowman Lane. The result, with the addition of an obituary, is this book.

 

My mother lived from February 8, 1925 to September 3, 2015. Her long life, which began on a "one–mule dirt farm" in Colleton County, South Carolina, was marked by much hardship in her youth. While she had limited formal education, her deep faith, her love for her family, her commitment to hard work, and her lifetime habit of reading enriched her life and sustained her to the end.

 

The stories in Mother Dear demonstrate one of the main themes of I Come from Bowman Lane: Everyday ordinary people often have extraordinary stories to tell. Perhaps Mother Dear will inspire you to gather and preserve some of the extraordinary stories that abound in your own family. 

 

Margaret Ann Gethers Scott

April 2023

• Language: English
• Publisher: Margaret Ann Gethers Scott, Ph.D.
• Release date: May 11, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223948971

Book preview

Mother Dear

The Life and Times of

Nettie Mariah Ford Gethers

Words by Nettie Mariah Ford Gethers

Compiled and Edited by

Margaret Ann Gethers Scott, Ph.D.

Editing, print layout, e–book conversion,

and cover design by DLD Books

Editing and Self–Publishing Services

www.dldbooks.com

Copyright 2023 by Margaret Ann Gethers Scott

All rights reserved

Dedication

Dedicated to Nettie’s progeny:

Great–Grandchildren

Myles London Priester

Maddox Grayson Priester

Maliayah Bryant

Kahlil Lallis

Grandchildren

Lawrence O’Neal Priester (Ta’Neisha)

Billi Maria Ford Taylor (Brian)

Thomas Jordan TJ Ford

Dannie Little Danny Ford (deceased)

Cassandra Ford

Tyrone Ty Ford

Raquan Ray Ford

Isaac Zak Ford

Cortez Glover

Children

Margaret Ann Gethers Scott (Author)

Jell E. Ford Priester

Anna Maria Ford

Danny Ford (deceased)

Acknowledgements

Thanks, Jell, for fact–checking, proofreading, taking a picture of the picture, digging in archives, and being my Geechee Gullah interpreter.

Thanks, Anna, for all of those surprise deliveries from Omaha Steaks.

Preface

Mother Dear: The Life and Times of Nettie Mariah Ford Gethers is divided into three parts: The Memoir (Part One), The Interview (Part Two), and The Obituary (Part Three). The memoir (2013) and the interview (2015) are previously unpublished family history documents rendered in the words of my mother, Nettie Mariah Ford Gethers, aka Mother Dear. In the interest of authenticity, I have retained Mother Dear’s words as written in the memoir and as spoken in the interview.

I had always thought I would someday publish Mother Dear’s memoir and interview together under a single title. Upon completing my book I Come from Bowman Lane: A Family History Memoir (Write Your Family History Now, Before It’s Too Late!), I realized how frequently I had cited Mother Dear’s words. It was then that I decided to publish the memoir and the interview as a companion to I Come from Bowman Lane. The result, with the addition of an obituary, is Mother Dear: The Life and Times of Nettie Mariah Ford Gethers.

The stories in Mother Dear demonstrate one of the main themes of I Come from Bowman Lane: Everyday ordinary people often have extraordinary stories to tell. Perhaps Mother Dear will inspire you to gather and preserve some of the extraordinary stories that abound in your family. If Mother Dear moves you to write your family history, I hope you will approach the project with the sense of urgency it demands.

—MGS

Part I

The Memoir

The Whole Armor of God:

Recollections of a Proud Poor Mother

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Nettie in leaf–green linen suit

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the Devil.

—Ephesians 6: 10–11

Introduction

The Whole Armor of God

Nettie Mariah Ford Gethers, aka Mother Dear, began writing her recollections in 2002 upon the death of her sister, Rev. Jell Emma Ford Levine. Eventually, the writings grew to include stories about her other siblings, her parents, children, grandchildren, and Nettie herself. These stories provide the content for Nettie’s unpublished 2013 memoir, The Whole Armor of God: Recollections of a Proud Poor Mother. The memoir is a lesson in farming, history, psychology, the Bible, family relations, and life, all rolled into one. Here is how the memoir came to be.

Mother Dear and her sister Jell (Rev. Jell Emma Ford Levine) were very close, both physically and emotionally; their yards shared a common fence. Aunt Jell died in 2002 at age 82. One night during one of our regular phone calls, Mother Dear mentioned that she was having a really hard time dealing with Aunt Jell’s death.

I do not know where the idea came from, but my immediate response was, Well, why don’t you try writing about her? Maybe you could write down things you remember about Aunt Jell when you were growing up or when you lived together in Philly (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania). Things like that.

Mother Dear said, Okay, maybe I’ll try that. Note: It was only later that I learned of the concept of writing as therapy.

A few nights later, Mother Dear said, Guess what I did today.

What? I asked.

I wrote about Jell. And you know what? I feel better.

Good! I said.

During another call, Mother Dear proudly announced, I wrote some more today. Today I wrote about Harmon [her brother, Harmon Ford].

I congratulated her, and thus began a series of reports on her writing. Over a period of several months, Mother Dear wrote and wrote. She wrote about each of her siblings. She wrote about her children and grandchildren. She wrote about her parents. She wrote about struggling to hold onto the family farm during the Great Depression. She wrote about World War II and its impact on her family. And most beneficial for her emotional healing, she wrote about the four long years she lived with an abusive aunt in Lincolnville, South Carolina.

My sisters and I often teased Mother Dear, telling her, You must be writing a book! We promised that one day we would gather all those pages and type them up for her. That day came in the spring of 2013. I needed a new project after having completed a series of workshops. I collected Mother Dear’s notebooks and legal pads, brought them back to my home in Northern Virginia, and began the task of sorting, compiling, editing, and typing.

Mother Dear’s favorite scripture was the sixth chapter of Ephesians. She especially liked verses 10 and 11, where Paul tells the people of Ephesus to be strong in the Lord and to put on the whole armor of God. As will be revealed in Chapter 27, Mother Dear thought she had consciously and deliberately put on the armor of God as an adult. Unbeknownst to her, the armor had encased her decades earlier. Indeed, had Mother Dear not been clad in the armor during her time in Lincolnville, she would not have been able to withstand the wiles of Aunt Mary.

The Whole Armor of God recalls the experiences of a quiet, humble, caring, resourceful, and wise woman who possessed great reserves of inner strength and a steadfast trust in God. Her formal schooling ended with eighth grade, but Mother Dear was an avid reader and lifelong learner. What she has written in The Whole Armor of God speaks to the power of reading as a tool for education, enlightenment, and empowerment.

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16–year–old Nettie from poor, rural South Carolina arriving in Philadelphia, clutching a magazine. She was a reader even then!

Chapter 1

Very Young Years

When I was little, I used to sneak away from the house and go to a big ditch full of water to rake crawly (crawfish). I was told not to go to that ditch, but I wouldn’t listen. One morning I woke up and Mama had tied me to the bed. I stayed home for a while, but I did it again. The next time I went, Mama gave me breakfast, blindfolded me, and tied me to a chair on the front porch. People came by, but to this day, I don’t know who they were. After that day, I never went back to the ditch again.

I remember hearing my sisters talk about the time I was lost. They looked everywhere for me, even in the well. The Old Man (Papa) got involved, saying, Y’all better find my baby! Finally, giving up the search, someone went into the kitchen. Lo and behold, there I was in a tub of water. Someone had taken a bath and left the tub in the kitchen with the door open. I was playing contentedly in the water.

Now this next story I remember myself. My brother Thomas put me in a little wagon he had made. He pushed it as fast as he could, right into a post. As the wagon hit the post, so did my head. He thought that was so funny. He laughed and laughed until Mama put a beating on his behind.

I also remember the Sunday I went with Papa to get his hair cut. There was a man in the community named Sabie. Sabie had a reputation for not being wrapped too tight. I was sitting in a chair minding my own business. Sabie came to the chair, shook it, and said, Gimme my chair! I jumped up and started running. I didn’t stop running until I got home.

Chapter 2

My Stay in Lincolnville

When I lived in Lincolnville, life was hard. Aunt Mary was so mean. But what could a child do? I was the child. I was in second grade when I went to live with Mama’s sister, Mary Bowman. The reason was that the next year I would be walking about three miles to Ritter School. Aunt Mary lived within calling distance of a school, and that school was better than ours. But oh, the price I paid for that convenience! There was one bright spot in all of this: a man Aunt Mary lived with named McKee Bradford, aka Mr. Kee. He was a white man, but he was a kind–hearted person. I considered him my friend. He saved me many beatings through the years.

I stayed with Aunt Mary for four years. The first thing that happened was that I lost all of my hair. They said it was the water. That’s not true. Aunt Mary didn’t attend to my hair like she should have. She claimed she couldn’t braid so she would part it and I had to plait it myself, a second grader! By the time school opened, my hair was as short as a boy’s. That was a source of teasing. Then with the meanness and the beatings, I began to stammer. That was another source of teasing. Aunt Mary bought me plenty of clothes, but she never hemmed anything, so I was dressed like a bald–headed old woman. And that was a third source of teasing.

I was so afraid of my aunt. I didn’t have any friends. In the first place, there was the store. I couldn’t bring anyone there because Aunt Mary was afraid they would steal from her. Also, the house was off–limits because of Mr. Kee. He was white, and people weren’t supposed to know about them. Aunt Mary was supposed to be working for him, and she referred to him as Mr. Bradford; yet they slept together every night.

One year I got a chance to go home for Christmas. Oh, that was a happy time for me, being home with Mama and Papa, Harmon, John, and Lawrence. Things were so merry. Someone had gotten a mouth organ for Christmas. Oh, Lord, I wanted to stay home. I asked if I could stay, but my sister Jell took over. You need to go back so you can go to school. You don’t have to walk so far. I thought they didn’t want me anymore. I was scared to tell them how mean Aunt Mary was, so I went back. That’s when I almost lost my mind. I could still hear the joy and the music of the mouth organ. I could see the smiles on everyone’s faces. Oh, how I cried. I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t let Aunt Mary know. I didn’t know what she would do. Mr. Kee found out, but I was afraid to