Make You Feel My Love (The Bittersweet Duet #2)

By Carla Krae

Sleeping with Sam the second time might’ve been the stupidest thing I’ve done in thirty-eight years. Everyone knows long-distance relationships don’t work.

I go home after Christmas thinking I did the right thing.

Then he shows up at my door with my favorite pizza and wine and says he loves me!

Long-distance terrifies me. Sam offers me things no other man ever has, but it feels like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, especially when he wants me there with him now and I know his patience won’t last forever.

Then he pushes for more at the same time my world is turned upside-down and it’s too much. If I’m already losing everything, why not him, too?

Our timing has always sucked.

But fate eventually puts me back in California again.

And this time, I know I love him back.

This story is intended for readers 18 and over due to adult language, sexual content, and adult situations.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Willowick Publishing
• Release date: Apr 3, 2023
• ISBN: 9780463044834

Carla Krae

Fiction writer. Sci-fi lover. Trained vocalist. Cat mom.Debuting in 2011, Carla Krae lives in California with two crazy cats and a tech guy. When she isn't writing love stories, she likes to dabble in fantasy.

Book preview

Chapter One

Kate

December 28th

Meep. Meep. Meep.

7:00AM.

I silenced the alarm and went through my routine. Sonya’s door was closed, meaning she’d come home late and was asleep.

As I was eating a breakfast bar, my phone chimed.

Have a good day at work.

Sam.

Okay, Kate, say thank you and mute the phone. I could be polite and not engage.

But then it vibrated instead.

What time do you get off? he asked

If I replied, he’d see it as an invitation, an open door.

Chewed blueberries and oats while I thought. Sipped coffee.

I didn’t want to encourage him while he was here.

Did I?

I sighed. One o’clock. I have to go.

This time, I went into settings and enabled Airplane Mode. Then left the apartment.

When I read the same work paragraph three times, I needed more coffee.

My fifteen minute break was at 11:00. I reconnected my phone to the network and received more texts. One from Sonya—not touching that.

More from Sam:

Can I take you to lunch?

We can meet somewhere.

Or you can give me your work address.

Kate, please don’t shut me out already.

I groaned at his impatience. Then typed back: I don’t chat at work. Do you?

Bubbles appeared to indicate he was forming a response.

I haven’t texted since eight o’ clock.

Oh. Fine. Well, I don’t look at the phone when I’m driving, either.

I wouldn’t want you to. I like my Kate safe and sound. So…lunch?

I sighed. I’ll think about it.

He sent a smiley face, then Be seeing you, beautiful.

How was I going to maintain focus with him in town?

My snack of almonds no longer held appeal.

Maybe I could still control this venture. Play host, show him the tourist spots like a good friend. No sex. No kissing. Maybe on the cheek farewell.

Absolutely no sex.

Sam’s body was my kryptonite. I didn’t know how many times I could keep shutting the door in his face if I let him in again. If I let him love me.

And it would only confuse him, anyway. He’d think he was winning.

So.

Platonic outings.

Thank God my city had a lot to see.

December was chilly in Nashville, even for a girl removed from California for almost two decades. Highs in the forties or low-fifties, often with rain. Once winter hit, I always had a puffer coat with a hood with me, and put on knit gloves as I was leaving the office.

In the car, I texted Sam an address for a hot chicken restaurant.

Casual, a little messy, and not the least bit sexy.

By small miracle, there was no line outside Hattie B’s. Must be the weather or post-Christmas drag—or both. I stepped inside the red-and-white-themed building to wait for him. If he’d gotten a hotel nearest my apartment (and I was sure he wouldn’t do otherwise), then my office was closer to the restaurant than he was and I had time to collect myself before he arrived.

Five minutes was five minutes.

He wore a dark green sweater with his jacket and jeans today.

His eyes lit up when he spotted me. No guy had ever been so happy to see me.

It was going to suck to crush his hopes.

Smells good. What is this? he asked.

Nashville hot chicken. I pointed to the menu on the wall. It’s famous.

’Shut the cluck up!’ is an option? he said, dark brows raised.

Only if you can handle a lot of spice. I moved into the line.

Showing me your Southern delicacies?

Something like that. I kept my arms folded so he couldn’t try to take my hand.

I ordered the small dark plate, medium, with fries and pimento mac ‘n’ cheese. And lemonade. It was fresh and hand squeezed here.

And you, sir?

He’s on a separate bill, I interjected before Sam could pay for my meal.

I took my number and went in search of a table.

See? Not a date.

Hattie B’s struck the perfect balance between shack and restaurant, focusing on the food over décor. The entire space was filled with picnic tables, the walls were plain white, and food was served in plastic baskets. Like a place you’d expect college kids to eat, though celebrities were sometimes spotted, too.

Sam sat across from me.

What did you get? I asked.

Chicken tenders and potato salad.

Very popular choice.

Really?

I nodded. They probably sell more tenders than pieces. Look around.

Then why didn’t you order it?

I shrugged. Felt like dark meat today.

So, how was work?

Quiet. Only a few of us in the office this week. I rolled a ketchup bottle between my hands. Weren’t you behind on work because of your mother’s heart attack? How are you here?

I didn’t leave any clients hanging. He snatched the bottle from me. Relax, Kate.

Easy for him to say.

Look, I’m flattered you came all the way out here, but nothing’s going to change, Sam. I can play tour guide if you insist on staying the duration, but there is no us. There can’t be.

Because you say so?

It does take two.

Why wouldn’t he take me seriously and make this easier on both of us?

Last night—

Last night, you surprised me, caught me off guard. But my tune hasn’t changed.

Most guys would wilt in front of me and accept the rejection. Sam wore the same look of determination he arrived with. Maybe had been born with. Kate. I’m only going to stop pursuing you if you feel nothing for me and we both know that isn’t happening.

That’s absurd!

Is it?

A server arrived with our orders. Sam’s also included the peach cobbler.

He stared at my leg and thigh quarter. That is not the normal color for fried chicken.

The recipe for hot chicken turned the breading a reddish color, and the hotter the seasoning, the darker it got. Medium heat wasn’t too scary, but the Shut the Cluck Up looked devilish. With the meat steaming hot, I started on the sides.

You wuss. You didn’t even get Mild?

He rolled his eyes. Only because I prefer the flavor of Asian heat, not Southern.

Sacrilege. Bring a guy to hot chicken and he gets plain… I had to build up my tolerance when I moved here, but now I enjoyed the Medium for its balance of heat and flavor. How do you even know without trying it?

I’ve been to New Orleans.

OMG. "This isn’t Cajun." Geesh. I’m embarrassed to be seen with you now.

The brow arched. Really?

I called Sonya and put it on speaker. "As a native of Tennessee, what are your thoughts on Sam ordering the Southern chicken at Hattie B’s?"

"He what?"

My reaction exactly. Later. I ended the call and stared at him.

Now I’m not sharing this cobbler, he replied.

I’d’ve ordered it if I wanted any.

He laughed. You’re feisty on your home turf.

I eye-rolled hard enough they almost got stuck facing the back of my head.

Eat your damn wussy chicken.

He bit into his food with a shit-eating grin.

So much for easy.

I kept my mouth full of food and eyes anywhere else, but I felt him watching me. Studying me? Was I the hostile witness in his courtroom?

What kind of law do you practice?

He blinked at the sudden break of silence, then said, A little of this and that.

Elaborate?

I advise individuals on estate planning and draw up contracts for small businesses and developers.

Coordinated with tax experts.

Sometimes.

I would imagine you see more boardrooms than courtrooms.

He nodded. It’s been a while since I was in front of a judge. Divorce court excluded.

Did Mandy hold up her end of the deal?

We settled peacefully, yes. No last-minute demands.

Good. For you and the kids.

I would’ve been here Tuesday night, but it was Mandy’s day to take Candace shopping.

Sam…

You made Mom sad by running off without a goodbye, by the way.

I swallowed a lump though my mouth was empty. I left a note.

Kate.

It’s your fault! Pursuing this stupid whatever it is.

Then maybe you shouldn’t have been moaning my name in the shower.

Really? We’re going there?

He closed his eyes, released a breath, and dropped his shoulders. No. Especially not in public. But I ask, what was so horrible about Christmas that you left like that?

I stirred the cold remnants of mac ‘n’ cheese. It wasn’t horrible. I just… Your mom knows I hate goodbyes.

He leaned his forearms on the table. What about me?

I hoped you’d get the message that it was over.

He slowly shook his head. No. I just saw someone who’s scared. You didn’t read a single text, did you?

What texts? I blinked innocently.

His face said he wasn’t impressed with my lie. Why are you so afraid to be happy, Kate? How dare he.

That’s a rude question.

I’ll keep asking it until you convince me it’s off base.

Standing, I picked up my basket of trash. I’m done here.

Since we were in a crowded restaurant, he didn’t grab my arm. I hurried to the waste bin.

Sam followed at a slower pace yet still managed to meet me at my car.

Haven’t we known each other long enough to be honest, Kate?

What is your obsession with me? I pushed his chest and hit a wall. Damn his muscles. "You could have anyone at home! Look at you! Why the fuck do you have to keep chasing me?"

He caught my wrists. You’re not ready for the answer.

You just said you wanted honesty. Let go.

Stop fighting and I will.

I went still and he released me, only to cage me in against my car.

Sam, we’re only going to get hurt.

He caressed the left side of my face. Scars are nothing new, babe.

My heart pounded in my chest. You didn’t answer my question.

With dark eyes I couldn’t look away from, he came closer, the tips of our shoes touching. Because I love you, he said quietly.

My head shook with automatic denial. Infatuation. Rebound.

A lopsided smile. I told you you’re not ready.

Don’t—

I think some part of me always did. I’ve felt something for you since we were twelve.

Sam—

He kissed my forehead. I’ll see you tomorrow, Kate. He pushed off the car, began walking away, and the cold rushed in.

You’re leaving just like that? I called after him.

He turned. Waved.

Tomorrow.

And kept going to his rental.

A silly, stupid woman would chase after him—but I was neither.

Sonya was sitting on the sofa when I got home.

You! I grabbed the nearest unbreakable object and threw it at her.

She shielded her face with her hands. What the hell, Kate?

"Sam. Cord."

Her eyes were wide. What about Mr. Yearbook?

I swear to God, Sonya—

Okay! I might’ve helped him a little. Geeze! Why are you shaking?

Shit. I was.

Chapter Two

Kate

Willing my muscles to behave, I hung up my purse, then coat.

Kate, what happened?

I was happy with my life how it was, I said to the row of jackets. Why can’t anyone understand that?

Happy? Or settled?

I closed the closet door. Your meddling is only going to bring pain.

Honey, I want you to be happy like we’re happy. My best friend and little brother.

I put my back to the wall, arms crossed. We?

She sighed. Yes. Look, I didn’t want to tell you until after—

"Tell me what?"

Couldn’t I go one day without a bomb dropping?

Pete and I are going to move in together.

I pushed off the wall. Excuse me?

Sonya stood. "He asked. Before you yell at me, he asked me. And because I love him, I said yes."

So that’s it, then. I charged for my room. So that’s how it was.

Kate…

I slammed the door.

They didn’t need me anymore, so now they wanted to push me at the first guy calling. Even if he lived in California. Because poor Katie couldn’t be left alone.

Fuck this pity bullshit.

Kate, please... she said through the door.

"Don’t," I snapped.

Kate, we’re best friends.

I opened the door. Best friends listen to their friends and don’t go against their wishes, damning the consequences. You wanna play house? Get out. Now.

Sonya’s honey eyes went wide again. You don’t mean that.

I stepped up nose-to-nose. Don’t I?

She retreated toward her door. I’m leaving to let you calm down. We’re not done discussing this.

Yeah, whatever.

I went back into my room and slammed the door again.

Collapsed on the bed face down.

A year ago, I would’ve run to Davis, but now I had no outlet for my pain.

Certainly wasn’t going to ask Sam to fuck it out of me.

My phone rang in my purse in the living room. I let it go.

But there was one safe space, a place I hadn’t been to since Lacy died.

She’d been a member, sponsored me, and paid for my membership as well.

Swiping at my eyes, I sat up, took in and released a deep breath, and went to my closet.

Thursdays were girls’ nights.

I changed into pretty things I wouldn’t freeze in, refreshed my makeup, and left.

Chapter Three

Sam

My phone buzzed that evening.

Hoping it was Kate, I lit up the screen and saw Sonya was texting me.

Big fight with Kate. Left to let her cool off. Came home after dark and she’s not here. With you?

No, I typed. Haven’t seen her since lunch. What happened?

Shit. Thanks.

No bubbles followed.

Sonya?

No reply.

Now I was worried. Those two were close like sisters.

What could they possibly have fought about to make her look for Kate with me?

When I asked Sonya to give me last night alone with Kate, she told me to go slow. To woo and charm Kate past her fears.

Telling her I loved her today wasn’t to plan, but nothing went how I thought with Kate, so why start now? Surprisingly, I didn’t mind the unpredictability.

Except the frustration of one step forward, two steps back.

I tried calling Kate. It rang until it asked me to leave a voice mail.

I hung up and texted instead: What are you doing tonight?

Though odds were good if she was ignoring Sonya, she’d ignore me, too.

Chapter Four

Kate

Le Rose was an extremely private play club run by Madame Bouvier. I always doubted that was her real name, but it fit. From the outside, Le Rose appeared to be merely an exclusive social club. The inside was another story, but somehow, Madame made pink go with her dungeon. The dungeon mistress had specific and strict rules for what happened on the premises and violators lost their membership and had to pay a fine before leaving.

Safety first, both emotional and physical.

Ladies’ nights were part therapy, part play. Ladies’ nights were also the one time alcohol was allowed in the building. Madame wanted to give women a safe space to let their hair down without the risk of someone taking advantage of them at a bar and arranged rides home for anyone that partook.

When Lacy first brought me here, she told me many of the female members were abuse or assault survivors and I would hear some harrowing tales if I attended the small discussion groups Madame hosted.

Since ladies’ night was more like a party, there were more chairs and lounges on display than apparatus. But I’d arrived way early leaving the apartment before three, so no one was here except the lady I sought.

Madame Bouvier.

She turned at the sound of her name, black hair streaked with one hot pink stripe and wearing an expensive charcoal gray pantsuit with black beads edging the jacket.

Dark eyes narrowed. I know you.

I offered my handshake. From many years ago, yes. I was friends with Lacy.

She nodded in understanding. Yes…a great loss to the community. Why are you here now? We have no event scheduled at present.

I came to talk to you, actually, before Ladies’ Night. I’ve had a really crappy day and need some care and you are the best person to refer me to the right Dom.

Ah…

Kate.

I’m sorry, Kate, but we moved Ladies’ Night to Fridays five years ago.

Oh. Of course. I’ve been out of touch.

Why would anything be the same fifteen years later?

She touched my sleeve. Don’t go. I never turn away a member. If you really need to talk.

A mirthless chuckle bubbled out of me. I don’t know what I was looking for. I just needed…

To put someone else in control?

My shoulders dropped. Yeah.

She smiled. Come into my office.

I followed Madame down a side corridor. She opened a door marked Private. The office reminded me of a cross between Art Deco and a Victoria’s Secret store with the pink and black and chrome. She gestured for me to sit on a velvet sofa.

What’s troubling you?

What’s not?

Her smile was gracious. That bad, huh?

I ran my hands through my hair. "Well, work is fine. It’s all the people in my life."

What did Lacy do for you? she asked with gentle curiosity.

I was young, a single parent of my disabled little brother, new to town, and overwhelmed. We lived in the same complex and she was the first person I connected with in Nashville. When I had a night off, we blew off steam and she introduced me.

Became your domme.

I nodded. Her and her boyfriend participated. Both of us would do anything to please her. She was the first person to make me feel safe since my father died.

And who has been your safe space since she passed?

No one, I breathed. She handed me a tissue. I didn’t know if I’d need it, but good thinking. I mean, I’m not without people who love me, but—

You’re carrying all your burdens.

I sighed. Yeah.

Why do you think that is?

I had to take care of us.

Yourself and your brother?

Yes.

Is he still in your care now?

I sunk into the back cushion. No, he, uh, moved out around six years ago. And…he just asked his girlfriend to move in together. Apparently.

Do you think that decision is a mistake?

His girlfriend is my best friend. And my roommate.

Madame smiled. Ah, now the picture is forming. You got that news today.

Right before I came here.

Kate… She shook her head. For a sub, you are quite the control freak.

"I don’t need to control them. I want to be—" I closed my lips tight.

But she saw through me. Needed? Kate, they can love you without needing you to take care of them.

Can they? My nose tingled. I sniffed.

Her hand gripped mine. Oh, honey, is that all the value you think you have?

No… But even to my ears, it sounded too much like a question.

Is this your only issue today?

A snort. "I wish. There’s a guy. He thinks he’s in love with me."

Her black brows rose. ’Thinks?’

We haven’t spent enough time together for that.

Have you made it clear you’re not interested in him?

It doesn’t matter. We live in two different states. It would never work.

She sat back into the sofa. Tell me about him.

I did, and once I started, I blabbed everything. Don’t even know why, except Madame was that kind of lady. Of course, talking about Sam got me agitated and I paced her office.

…and now everything’s a mess!

Her eyes were wide. I’d blasted a lot of info her way.

A little winded, I sat down again. So you see why I came.

Kate, you need to let go.

Yeah, that’s why I wanted Ladies’ Night.

She leaned forward. No, Kate, you need to let go of everything.

What?

You’re bound by all these conceived notions of what your life is supposed to be and that little box is bursting at the seams. What would happen to a butterfly if it couldn’t break out of its cocoon and spread its wings?

It would probably die?

She nodded. Yes, it would. What do you think will happen if you hold on too tight to your brother and best friend?

I twisted one of my rings. They’ll resent me.

And what do you think Sam will do when you push him away one too many times?

He’ll give up.

Will that make you happy?

I sighed. "I was fine with my life before the reunion. I was fine with it until he