King George

By Roy Beagley

Devotees of E.F. Benson’s books on the people of Tilling will not be disappointed in this sequel. From cricket matches, Christmas lunches and Roman villas, the lives of the residents of Tilling are laid bare once again with all their small-village craziness. Not only Tilling, but also the residents of Risenholme, and friends from London, all come to Tilling to play a part in pre-war village Britain. Once again, Elizabeth Mapp tries to prove to the world that she is right and Tilling is wrong in their love for Lucia. All the past characters are here including Mr and Mrs Wyse, Quaint Irene, Diva, the Padre as well as Janet and Foljambe and there is a new character to invade the peaceful and tranquil lives of the residents whose identity confounds and confuses them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Mar 3, 2023
• ISBN: 9781528996822

Roy Beagley

E. F. Benson wrote Queen Lucia, the first of the five books devoted to Elizabeth Mapp and Lucia Lucas, in 1922. This was followed by Miss Mapp two years later and then Lucia in London, Mapp and Lucia, Lucia’s Progress, and finally in 1939 by Trouble for Lucia. Miss Mapp and Mapp and Lucia were set mainly in Tilling while the other three books revolved around the residents of Risenholme. The beauty of books, to me at any rate, is they are ageless. There is very little to determine in any of the original books the dates they are set in, so they all flow together to create one delicious read from start to finish. King George is set in 1937 and covers just over a year of the lives of the residents of Tilling and Risenholme. I firmly believe you do not need to have read the previous books to enjoy this, indeed reading this may well move you to go back to the beginning to see how the mastery of E. F. Benson started the whole thing.

Book preview

About the Author

E. F. Benson wrote Queen Lucia, the first of the five books devoted to Elizabeth Mapp and Lucia Lucas, in 1922. This was followed by Miss Mapp two years later and then Lucia in London, Mapp and Lucia, Lucia’s Progress, and finally in 1939 by Trouble for Lucia. Miss Mapp and Mapp and Lucia were set mainly in Tilling while the other three books revolved around the residents of Risenholme. The beauty of books, to me at any rate, is they are ageless. There is very little to determine in any of the original books the dates they are set in, so they all flow together to create one delicious read from start to finish. King George is set in 1937 and covers just over a year of the lives of the residents of Tilling and Risenholme. I firmly believe you do not need to have read the previous books to enjoy this, indeed reading this may well move you to go back to the beginning to see how the mastery of E. F. Benson started the whole thing.

Dedication

Dedicated to Elaine

Copyright Information ©

Roy Beagley 2023

The right of Roy Beagley to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by author in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781528996815 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781528996822 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published 2023

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd®

1 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London

E14 5AA

Acknowledgement

I would like to thank Elaine Tyson and Karen Tyson for reading the original manuscripts and giving me the courage to continue. Also E. F. Benson for creating these wonderful characters. I would like to acknowledge the performances of Geraldine McEwan, Prunella Scales, and Nigel Hawthorne who on screen were very much at the back of my mind when putting pen to paper. I would also like to acknowledge the audio readings by Nadia May and Lisa Daniely who in addition to Ms. McEwan and Ms. Scales gave life to the characters audibly. Au reservoir.

The Residents of Tilling

Lucia Pillson was formerly married to Pepino and a former resident of Risenholme. After her first husband died, she vacated Risenholme for a two-month holiday to Tilling, fell in love with the village, and stayed. Georgie Pillson, second husband to Lucia and devoted to his maid Foljambe. He holidayed with Lucia when she first went to Tilling staying in Mallards Cottage that he rented on a long-term lease when Lucia decided to stay. Elizabeth Mapp-Flint married to Major Benjamin Flint and former owner of Mallards House. Best friend of Diva Plaistow and niece to Aunt Caroline. Major Benjamin Flint, husband to Elizabeth Mapp as she was before she wedded. Lived for many years in India serving in the army. His best friend was Captain Puffin who died one Christmas after drowning in a bowl of soup. Mr Algernon Wyse lives in Porpoise Street and is one of the famous Wyse’s of Whitchurch. His manners are well respected by all of those in Tilling and he has a sister who lives in Italy whose manners are not as respected. Mrs Susan Wyse formerly Susan Poppet married Mr Wyse and was awarded an OBE a few years ago. Diva Plaistow runs the tearooms with her maid Janet and is Elizabeth Mapp-Flint’s best friend. Quaint Irene Coles an artist and the scourge of Tilling is the only person in who regularly gets the better of Elizabeth Mapp, Flint or no Flint. She has quite a crush on Lucia. The Padre, Kenneth Bartlett, who has a Scottish accent but hails from somewhere in England, possibly Birmingham, and occasionally in anxious moments forgets to speak Scots. Evie, the padre’s wife who has a very high voice. The residents of Risenholme: The Quantocks, Daisy, and Robert who used to live next door to Georgie and were friends of Lucia when they all lived in Risenholme. Olga Braceley, an opera star whom Georgie loved once upon a time. The staff: Grosvenor is the head of Lucia’s household and has been in Lucia’s service for many years. Foljambe is the head of Georgie’s household and is also married to Cadman who works for Lucia. Cadman is Lucia’s chauffeur and Foljambe’s husband. Janet is Diva Plaistow’s maid and general dog’s body although she is greatly devoted to her mistress. Withers is the housekeeper for the Mapp-Flints and has been with Elizabeth for years, she knows where the bodies are buried.

Chapter 1

Old Lang Syne – The Accident

February 1937. It was a cold February morning in Tilling; there was ice on the roads as well as the pavements and it had snowed again the previous evening causing a fresh two inches of snow to fall on already treacherous conditions. Lucia Pillson and Elizabeth Mapp-Flint were walking arm in arm holding each other for support giving the impression to anyone looking they had been lifelong friends. Their friends suspected otherwise because it was well known that Lucia did not approve of Elizabeth’s ways and Elizabeth did not approve of Lucia’s big-headedness and pushiness.

Despite this, the two women fed off each other’s neurosis, and all Tilling knew they needed each other whether they cared to admit it or not. Elizabeth felt that Lucia often came up with lofty ideas ‘way beyond her station’ and this was not totally surprising since Lucia did often have very lofty ideas and as these ideas came up, Elizabeth felt it was her duty to lay them firmly down as quickly as possible. As a result of Elizabeth’s work Lucia’s peu-de-meus as she liked to call them had all but faded away because ‘there are only so many times you can hear Beethoven’s Piano Concerto without wishing Beethoven had died at a much earlier age’ professed Elizabeth whenever she could. Lucia in her cruel lofty manner had once planned a dinner party and invited all the same guests to the dinner party that Elizabeth had invited to a bridge afternoon the same day. As a result, Elizabeth was left with a great deal of food and because of that she set about and succeeded in ruining Lucia’s peu-de-meus.

Elizabeth knew Lucia spoke no Italian and suspected her art was painted more by numbers than by talent. The two women basically despised each other and because of this Tilling had been entertained by these two for many a summer. As the two ladies walked up the hill towards Mallards House facing them was the infamous garden room. This room was detached from the rest of the house, but it was unique because it was the only building that gave a good view down the hill towards the shops. Often Lucia, and before her, Elizabeth had stood in the garden room binoculars in hand surveying what both women referred to as their realm. Next to Mallards House was Mallards Cottage that had been owned by Georgie Pillson until he moved into Mallards House after the occasion of his marriage to Lucia. The previous owner had been Susan Wyse who prior to letting the cottage out to Georgie had let the cottage to Captain Puffin. Opposite the Captain’s old homestead was Major Benjamin Flint’s old house and it was he who married Elizabeth Mapp and became both husband and hyphenated at the same time. Further down the hill past Major Benjy’s old abode was Diva Plaistow’s house called Wasters that was also now a purveyor of afternoon teas of various kinds with prices to match. Quaint Irene lived at Taormina next door to the tearoom and opposite Quaint Irene’s abode was Porpoise Street where Starling Cottage could be found, home to Mr and Mrs Wyse, he being one of the Wyses of Whitchurch, a very old family who could trace their family tree back to the days of good King Harold. The Trader’s Arms hotel was further down the hill after Taormina where the other shops also stood.

Lucia and Elizabeth were returning to Mallard’s House from having partaken in an afternoon game of Bridge with Quaint Irene Coles and Diva Plaistow. When we get to Mallard’s House, I’ll get Cadman to take you out to Grebe dear, said Lucia, and Elizabeth thanked Lucia warmly at the same time wondering why Cadman could not have picked them up from Irene’s place and avoided this frigid walk altogether. It had been snowing off and on for a few weeks now, ever since the new year had started and as they had left Diva’s, the snow had started up again and was hitting the two women full in the face, so full in the face they had to turn and walk backwards up the hill. So invigorating, bellowed Lucia trying to hide the sound of her teeth chattering: Just fill your lungs with that cold, fresh air Elizabeth, she said in the sure knowledge the last thing Elizabeth wanted was cold, fresh anything.

The pavement had not been cleared for several days due mainly to the fact that Potter, the road sweeper had not been able to get out of his cottage due to the snow and ice on the pavement he had failed to clear previously. At the top of the street parking just outside and facing Mallards House was a lorry that was full of coal, and it had been there for a number of days much to the annoyance of Grosvenor, Lucia’s trusted housekeeper. The driver Harry Cooper wanted to give it one more try to see if he could move it. If he could go up past the church, he would be able to perform a complete turn and then come back and continue down the hill to where the lorry was parked almost every other evening when snowfall permitted.

Much to his surprise, the engine started on the second go, and he revved the engine to get the fuel flowing. The mirrors were iced over as was the front windscreen, but he could see out of the passenger’s window where he was going, or at least where he intended to go. As the lorry was put into gear it started to roll backward and despite pressure on the accelerator to make it go forward, it rolled back even further and much to Mr Cooper’s alarm was going faster in the wrong direction. He applied the brake and although this did stop the wheels turning it did not stop his descent down the hill and it was fast getting to the point where it could be called out of control.

He decided to apply maximum brake pressure, but to no avail and was by now going at what seemed like quite a speed; a speed that would not have been acceptable going in the right direction with power, let alone on the wrong side of the road and backward. He sounded the horn as several witnesses would later attest but the two women directly in the path of the lorry did not hear the warning, did not hear the lorry, did not see the lorry and the first they even knew of the lorry’s existence was when it hit them full in the back and ran over them as the car continued down the hill taking aim at the Trader’s Arms which thankfully it missed by a few yards. Both women were taken to the hospital, and both needed to be operated on. Elizabeth was conscious but could not make head or tail of what had happened to her or even where she was; Lucia had not regained consciousness since being laid flat but would have been very pleased to learn she was going to be operated on in the theatre she had paid for many summers ago. The two women’s husbands had been contacted and were at the hospital, Georgie husband of Lucia said very little, while Major Benjy spent a great deal of time yelling Quaihai at anyone who would listen in the hope this might achieve something. This was something he had learned in India during his army days and the truth of it was it had more of an effect in the whole of India than it did in tiny Tilling. As Elizabeth was wheeled to the theatre, the one Lucia had not paid for, she called out to Benjy: This is not the way it should end Benjy boy, as the outer theatre doors clanged shut; Georgie looked at Benjy and Benjy returned the glance, both men were very apprehensive. In truth the major did not much like Georgie, he had once referred to him as mistress milliner Michelangelo much to the joy of his Elizabeth because Georgie was what many men would refer to as slightly effeminate. He was prissy in his ways and yes, he sowed and painted and loved crocheting mats for glasses and ashtrays, but if anything he was like an amoeba, happy and content in his own world. Nobody ever suggested Georgie’s interest in matters of a romantic nature were more inclined to his own sex, and if they had done, they would have been wrong. However, when he and Lucia married, it was a given mainly because Lucia had stated it outright, that separate bedrooms would be the order of the night; Georgie was totally happy with the arrangement. Several hours went by, people came, and people went but never did anyone stop, not until both operations were over. It was a long night, and for one of the men standing smoking cigarettes together it would be an even longer day

Chapter 2

New Beginnings – The Funeral

February 1937. The padre, as all of Tilling called him, stood at the entrance of the church, Evie his wife, who most residents thought sounded like a mouse, stood at his side. The bells were tolling summoning Tilling to the house of worship and one by one the residents responded to their beckoning. Tilling was one of those towns always described as ‘quaint’ in newspapers and magazines and it contained shops with names like Twistyvants’ and Bollands and Ye Olde Tea Shoppe. It had one main road running the length of the high street and a few streets to the left and occasionally to the right. At the top of the high street, it turned left towards the church and thence onto the marshes.

Even though it was February, the sun was shining, as was expected by the residents for such a day as this, but they had not allowed for the heat of the day. Even at the mid-morning hour the temperature was already approaching the mid-sixties on the thermometer with dire warnings of the temperature even managing to achieve seventy degrees if the wind turned just a little more towards the south. The first three pews of the church had been reserved for what was referred to as the elite of Tilling, mainly by the elitists themselves and the padre had asked them to arrive about five minutes before the ceremony began so you can act as an escort. Diva, owner of the teahouse was the first of Tilling’s elite to arrive at the church, Good morning, dear Evie, morning Padre, she bellowed when she was still twenty or so feet away from them. Morning Mistress Plaistow, replied the padre as the mouse squeaked her cordial greetings. First to arrive, he said which, had Diva known this, would have resulted in her marching past them protesting post office, telegram, urgent which would have been apt for Diva whose clipped tones resembled a telegram. Diva had lived in Tilling for a long time and was friends with everyone but her best friend was Elizabeth Mapp-Flint despite how difficult Elizabeth made that on occasions. For many years Diva had been content to live on her small but acceptable income and she relied on her maid Janet and her cook to keep her clothed and fed.

However, a few years ago Diva found her income was not covering her costs, as she would like, so she had decided to act. Diva opened her teahouse and the mayor had supped the first cup of tea, not officially as the mayor but as the wife of Georgie Pillson. Janet her overworked but loyal housemaid helped in the teahouse, which was probably just as well as Diva’s baking often failed to rise much to the amusement of Tilling’s residents. Diva stood talking to Evie and the padre as Mr and Mrs Wyse approached. If Tilling had a celebrity, it was possibly Mrs Wyse who a few years ago had been honoured by the king and presented her ‘order’ as she liked to call it. Before marrying Mr Wyse a few years back, she had been Susan Poppet and she and her daughter had lived contented lives.

Mr Wyse was one of the Wyses of Whitchurch and they were a famous family often seen in the newspapers doing philanthropic work both at home and overseas. Mr and Mrs Wyse spent several months each year at the ancestral home, but much preferred their lives when they were in Tilling. Since their marriage, they found they were spending more and more time in Tilling as each year went by, something neither of them objected to. De-doo, said Mr Wyse as he drew parallel with the ever-increasing number of Tillingites moving towards the church, the site of this pleased Diva as it meant she was no longer destined to be the first to enter the church. Mr Wyse bowed his headfirst at the padre, then Evie, and finally at Diva as Mrs Wyse stood next to her husband draped, despite the temperature, in her ever-present Sable coat. Evie tried to see if Susan was sweating from the rather hot morning but was distracted by the order pinned to Mrs Wyse’s scarf. The order had been bestowed on her by His Majesty