You Might Be A Liberal If

By Sam McCrea

Are you getting sick of liberals? Sure, isn't everybody? I mean, when we say liberals, who are we talking about? We're talking about people who think bottles of table syrup are racist, but affirmative action, quotas, and set-asides are not. We're talking about people who seem to think the planet being two degrees warmer in a hundred years is a bigger problem than over a trillion dollars in deficit spending in one year. We're talking about people who think a virus manufactured in a Chinese laboratory was somehow all Donald Trump's fault, but Joe Biden is not to blame when gas prices have more than doubled in the first couple of years of his presidency. There is no point in denying these people are insane. But here's a question: how do you know if someone IS a liberal? Well, this hilarious book by newcomer Sam McCrea will let you know all the symptoms. It has a multitude of examples of how you can tell if you, or someone else, is a liberal, such as, "You might be a liberal if you think a person should be arrested for operating a business but not for looting one" or "You might be a liberal if you honestly, truly have said, 'It is not necessary that a person be an American citizen in order to vote.'" That's just the beginning! The book is complete with hundreds more hilarious and highly insightful examples of how to tell if someone really is a member of the nutcase left. All Republicans should get this book, because they'll want to read it. All Democrats should get it because they NEED to read it. In short, You Might Be a Liberal If is not a book to be missed. It is a highly entertaining and informative must-read for all Americans!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Newman Springs Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Feb 13, 2023
• ISBN: 9781684988464

Book preview

Table of Contents

Title

Copyright

Dedication

About the Author

cover.jpg

You Might Be A Liberal If

Sam McCrea

Copyright © 2023 Sam McCrea

All rights reserved

First Edition

NEWMAN SPRINGS PUBLISHING

320 Broad Street

Red Bank, NJ 07701

First originally published by Newman Springs Publishing 2023

ISBN 978-1-68498-845-7 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-68498-846-4 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

To Luis Mora, the wackiest, zaniest, but most helpful and loving life partner any man could hope for. You take care of me; I take care of you. You may not like this book, but I'm dedicating it to you anyway with love.

You might be a liberal if you proudly and enthusiastically and OPENLY voted for Barack Obama in 2008 but then pretend to think that John McCain was the greatest man who ever lived in the history of the world when Donald Trump says something critical about him.

You might be a liberal if you complain to no end about the dangers of foreign interference in our presidential elections…if by foreign interference you mean a bogus assertion about Russian collusion shown repeatedly and undeniably to be false, but you say nothing about foreign interference regarding millions of illegal aliens truly voting in the 2016 election.

You might be a liberal if you had no problem with the media's sob story about George Floyd's daughter. You observed as she became a media darling and you probably got misty-eyed when she was on national television saying that she loved him and missed him. Well at least Barbra Streisand is paying for her college, you know? Still, you have never found it odd whether or not you have seen or heard the media say anything about possible children of the 13 American soldiers killed in Afghanistan under Biden. Have you? You don't think that's odd? Those were 13 healthy adults who died. They could easily have had a dozen children. Those men and women were all better Americans than George Floyd and how do we all just know…better parents, too? So it's not just that there were ten times more children left one-less-parent, it's that each and every one of those kids are more worthy of this attention. Yet, Floyd's daughter got, literally, a thousand times more media attention than all of those kids put together and you don't find that unacceptable. You've never even thought about it.

You might be a liberal if you don't feel threatened by MS-13 gang members infiltrating our borders, but plastic toy guns…now there's a threat!

You might be a liberal if you have no problem claiming, for the hundredth time, that Donald Trump committed Russian collusion, but then decry that people should not speculate regarding the claim that churches in France are being deliberately arsoned.

You might be a liberal if you think it's okay for Iran to have nukes but not okay for law-abiding Americans to have guns.

You might be a liberal if you think the life of a non-US citizen who died of dehydration in a detention center is a hundred times more important than four American soldiers who lost their lives in Benghazi.

You might be a liberal if you think a controversial tweet from Donald Trump is more scandalous and more newsworthy than the fact we have an Al-Qaeda sympathizer in congress.

You might be a liberal if you claim to be pro-woman and pro-gay, yet you are accepting of Islam.

You might be a liberal if you are offended by someone walking around with a Don't Tread on Me T-shirt, but you don't bat an eye when people walk around in public with their butts hanging out of their pants.

You might be a liberal if you have never once visited Baltimore, have never wanted to visit Baltimore, and know essentially nothing about Baltimore, but you suddenly think Baltimore is the greatest place on Earth and that only a racist would dislike it when Donald Trump says something negative about the place.

You might be a liberal if you think it is a human rights violation to make asylum-seekers remain in Guatemala because Guatemala has too much crime and too many gangs to be considered safe. Nonetheless, you still decry that Donald Trump is a racist for criticizing the City of Baltimore, which has double the murder rate of Guatemala.

You might be a liberal if you decry that you are anti-war and pro-peace, but you criticize Donald Trump when he decides to pull troops out of Syria.

You might be a liberal if you think that withdrawing troops from Syria is cruelly abandoning the Kurds, but electing Muslims to Congress post-911 isn't cruelly abandoning America.

You might be a liberal if you hear a conservative say "The slavery wasn't that bad in America. After all, who had it better here in 1850? Irish immigrants? or The 1950s weren't that bad for the blacks because some had middle-class-and-upper lifestyles, and they dealt with less crime and drugs." You will chew them out and insist that America was always so consistently terrible to the blacks a long time ago. Nonetheless, you will also roll your eyes and scoff if a conservative says that America has gotten so much better for the blacks. When we think about it, one of these has to be true because things have changed a lot. You can't have it both ways: you can't say that things were so much worse in the past but then say that things are no better now. Still, just say one positive thing about America's treatment of the blacks and there's no end to it.

You might be a liberal if you support having enhanced border security in Jordan, Lebanon, Egypt, and Tunisia but don't care at all about border security in America.

You might be a liberal if you assert that slavery and Jim Crow policies were so hard on black Americans, that America is still a terribly racist country, and that black Americans have much harder lives. You will be the first to argue that America is a place where blacks must be strong to survive. However, if anybody suggests that Americans should just acknowledge innate racial differences in aptitude and that we should openly admit that the races simply differ in average intelligence, you say that would be a horrible thing because it would be so hurtful to black Americans and so harmful to their self-esteem. Wait, what? Let's get this straight: One minute, black Americans are the strongest, toughest people. They have to be hard-as-nails to survive in America; but the next thing you know, blacks are delicate magnolias with incredibly fragile self-esteem, and they can't possibly handle the truth. Okay.

You might be a liberal if you think a person should be required to get a license if they want to go fishing, but foreigners can just cross our borders without documentation, and that's no big deal.

You might be a liberal if you claim to no end that you support the right of the American people to peacefully assemble at the American Government for any redress of grievances, but then you crossed your fingers and hoped for trouble when Virginia patriots protested excessive gun control, and you were so disappointed when the whole thing ended peacefully with no violent incident.

You might be a liberal if you were mortified in 2016 when Donald Trump said that he was not sure if he would accept the results of the 2016 election because he felt the system had been rigged against him. Nonetheless, you yourself do not accept the results of the 2016 election. You say it was all the result of Russian collusion, and you claim the system was rigged against Hillary Clinton.

You might be a liberal if you denounced any black American who was working for the Trump administration as a token Negro and Uncle Tom or a sellout. Nonetheless, you regularly criticized Trump's administration for not having more black people working for it, since apparently you think a presidential administration needs more Uncle Toms, more token Negroes, and more sellouts.

You might be a liberal if you concede that Democrats can't count votes in Ohio; nonetheless, you think