Ultimate Concerns

By Diane K. Lavett

Ultimate Concerns is a collection of twenty–seven short stories that focus on those states and events of life that are universal and of immense importance. Love, the growth of a child, relationships within and between the generations, relationships with God, the humanness of God, finding one's place in the world, the role of pain in the world, illness, and death are all addressed by these stories. These stories all take a strong stance. Meaning flows from the importance of what is discussed and from the underlying assumption that there is purpose to all aspects of life. Thus, God has tears in his eyes with the realization that he has made a world in which death occurs yet says "L'Chayim." A man, pushed to the wall by the circumstances of his life, still insists that there are rules to be followed in life that work. A woman who yearns to be free of the burden of her adult children learns that the burden cannot be discarded. Many of the stories are modeled on the Hasidic tale, which tends to be short and humorous while making an important point. Most of the stories make the abstract concrete. "Why?" sits on the desk of a rabbi, musical notes bounce off a person's nose, pain leaps onto a child and crushes her, chaos originally made by God through error bounces off God's limitless limits and destroys the universe while he watches helplessly.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: May 2, 2019
• ISBN: 9781644625972

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Ultimate Concerns

Diane K. Lavett

Copyright © 2019 Diane K. Lavett

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING, INC.

New York, NY

First originally published by Page Publishing, Inc. 2019

ISBN 978-1-64462-596-5 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64462-597-2 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

The Ages of Man

Alarming Indications

A Trip to the Bazaar

Bereshit (In the Beginning)

L’Chayim! (To Life)

Eyshet Chayil (A Virtuous Woman)

Grandma’s Story

Grandpa’s Rules

The Illegal Jew

Love Spurned

Dear Lucy

Masada

My Implacable Foe

Healin’

Praise Song

Let Reuven Live!

The Rondo Maker

A Time for Everything

The War Game

Word Power

A Day to Be Remembered

A Balanced Life

Caretaking

A Cosmic Slap

The Raising-Mother Blues

Entropy’s Source

Mistakes

To all those who have taught me. Most are teachers—ranging from Ms. Ferguson in kindergarten through Mr. Safronoff and Helen Lowry in fifth grade, to Zella Higley in eighth grade, and Donna Elliott in ninth grade, to Jim Bradner in tenth grade, Melba Marlette in eleventh grade, to Harry Towers in twelfth grade, to Bob Silliman in college, to Asa Alan Humphries Jr. and Charles Ray Jr. in graduate school—but not all by any means. The rest are friends, and you know who you are—Kristen, Myla, David, Ursula, Debby, Sam, Roz, Henry, Deborah—and many others, some whose names I do not know. I have had the good fortune of learning from numerous people, and I thank each and every one.

Introduction

Ultimate Concerns is a collection of twenty-seven short stories that focus on those states and events of life that are universal and of immense importance. Love, the growth of a child, relationships within and between the generations, relationships with God, the humanness of God, finding one’s place in the world, the role of pain in the world, illness, and death are all addressed by these stories. While the trend in popular short fiction is to leave the reader to decide what the meaning, if any, of an event is, these stories all take a strong stance. Meaning flows from the importance of what is discussed and from the underlying assumption that there is purpose to all aspects of life. Thus, God has tears in his eyes with the realization that he has made a world in which death occurs yet says "L’Chayim." A man, pushed to the wall by the circumstances of his life, still insists that there are rules to be followed in life that work. A woman who yearns to be free of the burden of her adult children learns that the burden cannot be discarded.

Many of the stories are modeled on the Hasidic tale, which tends to be short and humorous while making an important point. Most of the stories make the abstract concrete. Why? sits on the desk of a rabbi, musical notes bounce off a person’s nose, pain leaps onto a child and crushes her, chaos originally made by God through error bounces off God’s limitless limits and destroys the universe while he watches helplessly. The range of the stories is from fantasy to first-person-painful.

I truly hope that you will enjoy and possibly learn from the experiences of my ultimate concerns in life.

The Ages of Man

(Published 9/86 in Lilith)

Once there was a woman who thought she knew a Way to the Master of the Universe, blessed be His Name. Everything that she heard and read said that she did. Ecstatic joy? She had experienced it many times. A feeling of union with the universe? It was almost a common experience for her. Year after year, she worked very hard for these feelings, and with each year that passed, she could more easily reach them. These she called union with Him Who is One.

Throughout her community, she became known as a very pious woman, although some men thought it improper that she should presume to speak to Him Above All. Nevertheless, even those men listened when she talked about her Way. Over time, those who had no Way of their own found that her Way worked for them too. Eventually, the entire village learned to work very hard in the Way she had taught them. All experienced such ecstasy that their village nearly floated off the ground.

One day shortly after the Days of Awe, when the woman was quite old, she entered the shul and began to pray to the Master of the Universe, may His Name be blessed. It did not go well. Instead of ecstasy, she found boredom. For too many hours for too many days, her soul had been soaring with Him Who is All, blessed be His Name forever and ever. She was tired of constant joy; she was tired of such hard work.

And so the old woman simply stood with bowed head, secretly impatient to return to her home where a soothing fire burned on the hearth. Her old bones longed for its comfort and peace. She closed her eyes and imagined the warmth of the fire surrounding her. As if in a dream, her desire seemed to be granted. Warmth flowed all about her, bringing the comfort and peace that she had wanted. Startled out of wishing by reality, the woman became aware of a motionless solar wind coming from the ark. It moved against her, eddied about, supported her as her knees grew weak with fear of the unknown. Terrified, she began to pray to the Master of All with great fervor, asking Him for help in withstanding this force that assaulted her. Gradually it withdrew, and the old woman praised the One for saving her.

When she got home and sat in front of her glowing hearth, the old woman began to think about the strange occurrences in shul that morning. The more she thought, the more frightened she became, for she realized that it had been the Presence that surrounded her. She had been so foolish as to pray to the One, blessed be His Name, to save her from His power. Surely He would hide His Face from her forever now.

Even worse, she realized that all those years of following her Way had been a terrible affront to Him Who Is. Constantly, she had besieged him. Constantly, she had demanded that He pay attention to her. And constantly she had misinterpreted the dizziness caused by His absence as a sign of His presence.

The next morning in shul before prayers began, she rose and asked that she might speak to those who were there. Given permission, she began.

I have misled you into a great and terrible blasphemy. I taught you a Way that leads, not to Him Who Is, but to Nothingness. He Who Is cannot be forced to listen to us no matter how hard we try. He comes in His own time, in His own way. What you have felt as you have tried to reach Him is not real; it was simply self encountering self in a terrible arrogance.

Uproar filled the shul. Some argued that she was right; others argued that she had been right. Finally, it was decided that all should go to the court of the great rebbe in the next town, where the question could be put to him. That very day, they set out for the rebbe.

When they got there, they were immediately ushered into his presence. Each had his say according to his experience. Each was questioned closely by the rebbe. Finally, all had spoken, and it was the rebbe’s turn.

A great hush filled the hall as the rebbe prepared to speak. Each waited fearfully to learn his answer.

My dear friends, the rebbe began, "the Sages tell us that there are many Ways to the Master of the Universe. They say that each Way is good for him who uses it. Your town has been known for years as a place filled with piety. Indeed, there have been reports that the entire village sometimes is carried into the air by the strength of your prayers. Surely, what you have been doing is right and good.

"The one who taught you this Way now says that she was wrong. She has found a new Way that is the only Way, she says. She has found a new Way, there is no doubt of that. This Way is right and good also.

Consider this, my friends. He Who is Above knows that the needs of youth differ from those of old age. When young, man must use his strength and power to assault the Heavens, and his reward is a soaring of the soul. When old, man needs peace and comfort and warmth and support. He has no strength to assault the Heavens, and soaring would exhaust him. The Master of the Universe knows this. In His wisdom, He asks only that you do what you can to approach Him, and He gives to each age of man what is needed. Return to your village, my friends, and act your age.

Alarming Indications

Once there was a woman who tried very hard to make contact with the Master of the Universe, may His Name be blessed. Because she was a woman, she did not know the texts and had not studied the ways in which one approaches Him Who is within all. She thought it was enough to read from the prayer book with great concentration.

Day after day she went through the motions, reading with ever-increasing concentration the Hebrew she did not understand. At times she felt that maybe she might just possibly be somewhat near to the One, blessed be He, but mostly she felt a great frustration of her hopes.

One day in shul, she reached the end of her ability to keep on trying. She stopped reading. She sat when the congregation sat; she stood when it stood, but she was not praying. She grew bored with the sitting and standing, she stopped paying attention to what the others were doing, and she stared into space with an empty mind.

As she stood as one in a trance, she suddenly became aware that she felt very funny. Chills moved up her spine. Her muscles were so relaxed that she would have fallen if she had not leaned into the motionless wind that blew from the direction of the ark. A great languor washed over her so that, even though one part of her mind was scared by what was happening to her, she was content to lean against the wind and enjoy its comforting support.

Slowly she recovered and, as she did, her fear increased enormously. Something was wrong with her! She was sick in a new way that she had never heard of before. On leaving shul, she anxiously asked her many friends if they had ever been sick in this strange way, but none had even heard of this type