BROKEN AND TEACHABLE: A ROAD TO RECOVERY-RECONNECTING WITH GOD!

By Troy Naeyaert

Can you remember a time in your life when Jesus became real to you? Jesus has always been a big part of my life. Jesus became real to me the afternoon of May 5, 2016. My decision to take a late afternoon motorcycle ride that day changed my life and began my journey to discovering God's mercy and grace. It's in times of brokenness and survival that we see how fragile life really is. Valleys and mountaintops are all part of this thing we call life. It is sad that it takes times of brokenness and loss for us to become teachable and dependent on God. Real life is found at the end of yourself and the beginning of openness to God. The pages within this book are my story. It is a story of ups and downs. A rediscovery of who God is and who I am in Christ. It is a story of God showing up each day to teach me about myself and my faith. And it is the story of how he continues to teach me more about myself and my faith as he deepens my dependence on him for the journey I am on. If your life is one of brokenness, this book is for you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 17, 2018
• ISBN: 9781641919807

Book preview

cover.jpg

BROKEN AND TEACHABLE

A ROAD TO RECOVERY-RECONNECTING WITH GOD!

Troy Naeyaert

Copyright © 2018 Troy Naeyaert

All rights reserved

First Edition

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc

Meadville, PA

First originally published by Christian Faith Publishing, Inc 2018

ISBN 978-1-64191-978-4 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64191-980-7 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Acknowledgments

My road to recovery and this book is dedicated to God my Father, Jesus my Savior, and the Holy Spirit, who corrects this stubborn man, encourages this stubborn man, and breathes new life into this stubborn man every day.

And to you my Ann Marie, my sweetheart. You have been by my side throughout this journey, through all the pain, all the doubt, all the fear, and always with a loving heart. I love you, sweetheart, always and forever. To my three sons, Chris, Michael, and Alex, you boys have helped your dad and your stepmom through every challenge we have faced. I am so proud of the men you have become.

To my daughter-in-law Brenda, you are an amazing wife and mother to my grandchildren. You are a daughter that I’m very proud of. To my grandkids, Ethan, Landon, Caleb, and Audrey, words cannot express how much your Pops loves all of you!

To my sister-in-law Terri, who helped me with proofreading, corrections, and grammar as I wrote this book, love you, sister. To my best friend, Scott, your phone calls and visits while I was confined to my bed were much needed and used by God. I love you, brother!

To all the nurses and aides at Covenant Copper, you made my three weeks in the hospital a little bit easier. To Mike, owner of Riversbend, and his incredible staff at Wildwood who cared for me—Bill, Adam, Travis, Brandon, Larry, Pat, Jason, and Brian—a big thank-you from the bottom of my heart!

To my therapists, Shannon (PT), Chelsea (OT), Jenn (speech), Kyle (massage therapy), and Dave (psychologist/spiritual guidance), you are all amazing, and I love you all!

To Frankenmuth Bible Church, Stony Creek Church, Grace Christian Fellowship, Pastor Joseph, Pastor Randy, Pastor Ron, thank you all for the visits, prayers, encouragement, and for your friendship. It was used by God for both my Ann Marie and myself!

To all my family, extended family, and Facebook friends, thank you for your prayers, visits, and friendship. Love you all!

Introduction

Welcome, reader! I’m so glad you decided to share my journey of brokenness and recovery—a journey of discovering who I am and who God is. My prayer is that God uses this book in your life so that it speaks to your heart and helps you repair your heart and restore your faith in Christ. It is no coincidence that you are holding this book in your hands right now. I believe that it was the Holy Spirit who brought us together. God is good!

Can you remember a time in your life when Jesus became real to you? Jesus has always been a big part of my life. I accepted him into my heart in 1983, but he became real to me the afternoon of May 5, 2016. My decision to take a late-afternoon motorcycle ride that day changed my life and began my journey to discovering God’s mercy and grace.

The weather was on the cooler side that day, so I decided to gear up in full leather, gloves, boots and my helmet (which I always wore). It was a normal ride with one of my favorite band’s music—Volbeat, playing in my helmet. I still to this day thank God that when I asked my wife if she wanted to go, she said no! I was on my way home and decided to take one of my favorite two-lane roads to prolong the ride. Two blocks after turning onto Youngs Ditch Road, my ride ended when a vehicle turned right in front of me. Impact was unavoidable.

In a time when impending danger is present—or in my case impending impact—you are faced with the possibility of death. I remember saying two things right before impact: Jesus, I place my life into your hands and This is not going to end well. I remember seeing my wife’s face. The thought of not seeing her again brought a sadness. Yet I trusted God’s decision for the outcome. We were told that after impact, I was thrown thirty feet in the air (I say that I was carried by God) and landed in a deep ditch filled with water which helped cushion the impact.

As I write this introduction, it has been ten months since my accident. I am still adjusting to my new life journey and still seeing God’s hand in my life every day on my road to recovery. One of the many blessings from this accident has been a new heart for the handicapped and those with traumatic brain injuries (TBI). Having a TBI myself and dealing with the struggles that come with it has brought me closer to God and to a total dependency on him!

It’s in times of brokenness and survival that we see how fragile life really is. Valleys and mountaintops are all part of this thing we call life. It is sad that it takes times of brokenness and loss for us to become teachable and dependent on God. Real life is found at the end of yourself and the beginning of openness to God. My prayer is that God uses this book to bring you out of yourself and reveal that He is real and available to you on your life journey!

The pages ahead are my story. It is a story of ups and downs. It is the story of God showing up each day to teach me about myself and my faith. And it is the story of how he continues to teach me more about myself and my faith as he deepens my dependence on him for the journey I am on. I have made many new friends on my road to recovery and would love to add you, the reader, to my journey. Grab a coffee and your favorite chair and join me on my journey. Lord willing, we will both learn more about him.

Chapter 1

The Early Years

Verse to mediate on: ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope’ (Jeremiah 29:11).

To tell my story, we must go back to the beginning. A story of mistakes. A story of discovering God. A story of childhood memories. A discovery of riding. A story of rebirth. A story of finding self. A story of realization of God’s path for me in life. It took me some time to join him on this road.

I was born August 6, 1962, in Detroit, Michigan. The middle son of three boys. My oldest brother, Mark, is seven years my senior, and my younger brother Jacob, seven years my junior. My mother was a stay-at-home mother who poured her life into our lives. My mother was devoted to Christ and attended Saint Leonard’s faithfully. I believe this is where the seed was planted in my heart for Christ, through my mother’s example of faithfulness to the church and her strong faith. Her life reflected my Savior through her everyday actions. Thanks, Mom! She also loved bingo and could be found at the church every week for bingo night. I would often tag along and play for fun.

My father was a successful truck salesman and sold trucks to fleet companies. He worked very hard and was gone from daybreak to occasional late nights. We never wanted as kids. We were always supported and encouraged to take chances in our passions. I played baseball through most of my younger years and was scouted as a pitcher. I was chosen for travel leagues and feared (from what I was told by others) by the other kids because of my fastball. I remember the much-anticipated game; many of other teams and coaches were in attendance. It was a game that the league considered a showcasing of the two best pitchers (myself and another young man) going at it. Imagine, two of the leagues fastest throwing pitchers bringing fear to each of their opposing team’s lineup.

The game went as expected; strikeouts were high on both sides. We were both pitching no-hitters deep into the game. The ironic thing was both of us broke the other’s no-hitter in the last inning. His was a double, and mine was a homerun. We won that game one nothing. I have fond memories of seeing my dad at every baseball game I played. No matter the time of day, he was there! He was proud of me. He would bring other salesmen to my games to watch his son pitch. He always had a proud smile on his face as he watched me pitch. He was always there to pick me up when I had a bad game or discouraged with my performance. Thanks, Dad!

Discovering Music

I still remember the day the music bug bit me. I discovered the drums when I was thirteen years old. I remember that day so clearly. My mother had just picked up the new Kiss Live double vinyl record (remember those) for me. After staring at the front cover, then the inside pictures, and back cover for what seemed like forever, I fired up the turntable and placed the record on the turntable. I sat there soaking up the music, then it happens—the song Rock & Roll All Night came on. Wow, I found myself moved by the driving drums of Peter Criss as he pounded out the intro! I remember going downstairs and telling my mother, I want to learn how to play the drums. She picked up the phone and called Capaldi Music and inquired about drum lessons. The next day, we were at their store, signing me up for drum lessons, baby! Within three months, I purchased my first drum set, a Slingerland set which had this sweet blue-to-silver fade! I made an agreement to purchase the kit and arranged payments to the kind man who held the drums till I had paid them off. Thanks to the Detroit News and my paper route, they became mine, and I set them up in my upstairs bedroom. Right by the window so I could open the window and share the sound with my neighbors. So it begins!

I was taken by the drums and found myself playing to my records every day while developing my tempo and learning to play with other musicians (well, through a record anyway). I still remember the day I told my dad that I was quitting baseball and pursuing the drums. He was disappointed, but he encouraged me in my music. He even installed a furnace in our garage, which would come in handy when I started playing in a band for rehearsals. That day came when I turned seventeen. I joined my first band—Phoenix. Naturally, we practiced in my garage even in the winter. Thanks to my dad!

We would always get visitors stopping by and listening to us from the driveway. That even included the local police from time to time! Funny story—one of those police visits resulted in our band getting a gig, playing a graduation party for one of the officer’s sons! We played the local school dances and many outdoor neighborhood parties. I found myself going to school, rehearsing with the band and working every night delivering pizzas for Dino’s Pizza, all this during the high school years to pay the car payments. My high school years were tough for me. Trying to balance it all and having a girlfriend kept me very busy. I was living the rock star life, which also brought other struggles.

During those rock-and-roll days, I had developed a taste for beer. It would become a way to cope, and I soon carried the label of being that guy who when challenged would take on the requests of I bet you won’t drink this. I remember one night after a dare of drink these two bottles of vodka, Troy I was called out, I had to do it. What followed was the feelings of extreme stomach pain, disorientation, and fear. I was told the next day that I stopped by the pizza place where I worked, picked up a pizza, put it on top of my car, and drove away. I somehow got home, walked into my house, and left a trail of vomit from the kitchen through the living room, up the stairs, and to my room. I remember my dad coming upstairs and asking me if I had been drinking. I said no, but he wasn’t buying it. That was the last beer—and alcohol in general—for me. I was done with it! I would soon face another journey of loss just a few months later.

Here Comes the Storms

I was just a few months from graduating high school when my mother went into the hospital. She had been experiencing severe headaches for several days. It was decided that she would go to the hospital for some tests. My mother never came home. She died from spinal meningitis at the age of fifty-two. This was difficult for me graduating, and my mother was gone. On the heels of this loss came another big moment. My girlfriend announced that she was pregnant! So here I was, eighteen years old, married, and expecting my first son. I was terrified! What did I know about being a father? How would I support a family? Where would we live? I just lost my mother. So many thoughts and feeling overwhelmed. We were married at the justice of the peace, and at eighteen years of age, I suddenly had a wife and a son on the way. My father opened our home for us, and this would provide a stable environment once my son Chris was born. This would also be good for my youngest brother, who at eleven was devastated and numb from losing his mother. We were all coping with the loss and trying to fill the hole in our hearts. I began feeling restless and saying, There must be more to life.

I realize as I type this paragraph that I had suppressed my feelings when my mother died. I had a son coming. I was married. I started a job to support my family. My youngest brother needed me. I put my thoughts in those things coming rather than the grief I was feeling. This was the beginning of becoming one to bury his feelings rather than expressing my emotions.

God Finds Me

I didn’t consider myself a bad person. I was eighteen and trying to find out who I was. Where I was going. And of course, how to get there. My in-laws and my wife’s two sisters attended a church in Warren, Michigan, and they always encouraged me to attend a service. I would often talk to my father-in-law, Carthel, about having a relationship with Christ. The idea of Christ appealed to me but also scared me at the same time. Thoughts of What if I don’t measure up? What if it’s too hard? What if God changes his mind? I’ve made too many mistakes to be forgiven. I will straighten out my life, then accept Christ into my heart. And the big question I believe is asked by everyone who considers accepting Christ into their heart: What will I have to give up, to follow Christ?

Friend, any of these questions or excuses sound familiar to you? Let me encourage you to not overanalyze it. Don’t think that you must clean yourself up first. There is no amount of cleaning that will work (not our way anyways) that make us acceptable to the eyes of a perfect God. Simply surrender yourself to God, and ask his Son Jesus into your life. He will take care of the deep cleansing. I decided to try going to one of the events at their church. It was there I was introduced to the gospel and other Christians. I soon started attending both the Sunday morning and evening services. I really enjoyed the evening services. They would always perform special music to tie into the sermon. Occasionally, the pastor would sing songs on Sunday nights, and it was through my love of music (and unknown to me at that time) that I was being used by God. He started stirring my heart. God was moving; I was scared!

We became close to our pastor and his wife. We were asked to house-sit for them when they went on vacation. What a blessing. This gave us time as a family to feel like homeowners and be just the three of us. I remember one of our house-sitting weekends after our pastor had come home, I found myself talking with him about accepting Christ as my Savior. We talked for a while and knelt together in his living room, and I invited Christ into my heart. My new birthdate was set that day—October 1983, my new birth in Christ!

Learning about God’s Faithfulness

So here I was twenty-one years old, a husband, a father, and a new Christian. For the first time in my life, I learned about true love. I learned about a man named Jesus, who loved me and died for me. What? I started reading the Bible with such urgency and passion. I felt such a weight lifted from my shoulders. My load wasn’t mine to carry alone. I had Christ to help me. To lift me up when I fell. To carry me when I was tired. Yes, I still struggled trying to hold on to control and the constant battle with contentment. I still made many mistakes. I was far from perfect. God taught me that it’s okay to make mistakes. He taught me that he alone is perfect. He taught me that my job was to simply have faith and leave the rest to him. I did have a zeal for God and his Word. I told everyone about him. I was on a mission! I had to accept that Christ paid the penalty for my sins and mistakes. We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin (Romans 6:6).

I wonder why we tend to lose that urgency in studying God’s Word as we mature as Christians. I know that I’m guilty at times of not opening God’s Word consistently each day. Then we wonder why the things of the world bring us down so easily. I soon learned that my old self was fighting the new self claimed by Christ. I learned that our walk with God is a walk that is one day at a time.

Since accepting Christ into my life, I’ve continually strived to follow God every day. I relied on that for the years that followed, including the birth of my second son, Michael, seven years later. I struggled so much with self-centeredness (still do today at times), and looking back today, I wish God would have changed that in my conversion. I never wanted (like when I was growing up) and made many bad financial decisions. I was not a good steward with my finances. I carried that over to Chris and Michael, who always had the latest toys. Looks like I was building some bad traits into them for wanting and getting. It was three years later that our third son, Alex, was born. What a ride!

Experiencing God’s Faithfulness

Looking back through the looking glass of time, I can see God’s hand on me through many struggles in my life. I think back to 1991 when a young man ran a red light and hit me going fifty miles an hour. Somehow, thanks to my Savior’s protection, I survived. Then in 2004, my marriage of twenty-three years ended; God was with me. This was a challenging time in my life. Seeing my marriage end after twenty-three years was a blow to me and what I believed. God’s Word speaks of divorce and the effect it has on us. I did not believe in divorce, so this was another bump in the road. We had three sons, and this decision also affected them. I found my strength in God during this time. I could see love and what it truly looked like through God’s faithfulness to