Life on the Rocks: A Story of Hope, Redemption, and Pathological Optimism

By Nick Kearin

Life on the Rocks is a story of triumph and tragedy, of failure and fortune, and of despair and delight. This extraordinary journey follows a man into the darkest depths, where only God can pull him out with a healing that is so complete that it not only transforms his life but the lives of those who love him. Whether your cross is the bad hand you were dealt, or self-induced, this memoir will give you hope, faith, and a pathological optimism that there is light at the end of the tunnel. This handbook for life blends clever stories with tear-jerking reality and will inspire you that it is never too late to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jan 15, 2022
• ISBN: 9781638443438

Book preview

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Life on the Rocks

A Story of Hope, Redemption, and Pathological Optimism

Nick Kearin

ISBN 978-1-63844-342-1 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63844-343-8 (digital)

Copyright © 2021 by Nick Kearin

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

This memoir is dedicated to

Amy: My one and only love, my constant companion, and the one who saved my life.

Ray, Nikayla, Mary, and Jake: You all held out hope and believed in your dad when almost no one else did.

Family and friends: For holding Amy and the kids close to you through those years.

Jesus: The one who always picks up my cross when I cannot and the one who saved my soul.

Prologue

Someone once said, A hangover is just your body telling you that you’re an idiot. If you have been that idiot the night before, this truism is really funny. If you were not out singing karaoke and dancing on tables last night and still feel hungover, this is not remotely entertaining. This is where I come in. Actually, I would like to invite you in—into my home, my family, my work, and my cross.

My story is confusing, yet remarkable—true, yet unbelievable. Although lately, its exclusivity is wearing off as a brighter spotlight is shining on it across the globe. Shows like The Doctors, Grey’s Anatomy, Dr. Oz, The Resident, The Good Doctor, and 20/20 have showcased people just like me. This is a story of sickness and healing, of faith and family, and of hope and redemption. It is borne out of too much pain and suffering, a tattered but strengthened marriage, a faithful wife who became a rock, innocent children that were thrust into adulthood before they were ready, and a monster helping of posttraumatic stress.

I have tried to cast a broad net, as the target audience is all of us. This is written for you, the one who carries a cross. Whether it is an addiction or an illness, self-induced, or just a bad hand you were dealt, my prayer is this story gives you hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel. One of my favorite passages in the New Testament is, The pain you feel today cannot compare to the joy you will feel tomorrow (Romans 8:18 NLT).

I know that pain, and it hurts like heck. Hold out for that joy, it will come. Through my journey, I was flattered yet amazed how people always asked how I was doing, but rarely checked in on those that cared for me. This story is also for you, the caregiver, to inspire you to continue loving and believing. Do not give up hope that a better day is just around the corner. I believe that. My family has lived it. This story is about living life with the glass half-full and the power of pathological optimism.

There was a story I once heard years ago about a father that brought his twin boys to the doctor. One boy always had a dark cloud following him and saw the bad in everything. In the other boy’s world, the sun was shining, and he always saw the upside to life. The father set out to figure out why they were so different. The doctor took the first boy, the pessimist, into a room packed with a huge pile of brand-new toys. Instantly, the boy broke down in tears. When the doctor asked what was wrong, he exclaimed, With all these new toys, surely one of them will break!

The second boy was guided in a different room, one stacked to the roof with a high pile of horse dung. The boy walked in, his eyes lit up, and he instantly jumped headfirst into the pile and started digging. The father and doctor looked at each other in bewilderment. Finally, the father said, Son, this is a pile of road apples! Why are you so excited to dig into it?

The boy screamed, Wherever there is much horse poop, there has got to be a pony! This is a story about finding your pony. You will notice every chapter begins with a song—these are what got me through the darkest days. Check them out—they just might light your soul. I can tell you firsthand that these artists with their inspiring words gave me optimism I needed to find hope for tomorrow. Our cornerstone throughout this story and beyond has always been, Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer (Romans 12:12 NIV). Joyful, patient, and faithful. Words to live by.

Lastly, this book started as a challenge. My two daughters came to me about eight months into the COVID-19 quarantine and suggested I capture my story on paper—probably before I forgot it all. I agreed to do it with the intention being a memoir I could leave behind for my kids and their kids to answer the question, Who is the old guy in the corner, and what is his story?

What started as a few simple thoughts on a cocktail napkin has turned into what you are holding in your hands. My hope is twofold. First, you stay awake and find out what most people have—I am not unique, but my story is. Two, I hope it has some, if any, positive impact on your life—and the life of those around you. Someone once said, "It is not about how long you live, but how you live." Let’s live it well.

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn,

I want to know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that’s dead inside can be reborn

’Cause I’m worn

—Tenth Avenue North

Chapter 1

Bottle Flu

(Circa 2006–2015)

I have a lot of great memories of the time I spent at my maternal grandparents’ house. The unique smell of mothballs and plastic shoes mixed with Oil of Olay in Grandma’s closet. Listening to Vin Scully’s melodic voice welcoming us to another pleasant, good afternoon wherever we may be while Grandpa started snoring before the first pitch. Grandma and Grandpa’s couches and carpet were perpetually infused with garlic and rosemary from their Italian kitchen.

I fondly remember driving Grandma’s Cadillac to her hair appointment when I was fourteen because she had too much vino by noon, only to pass my mom going the other way on a tight, canyon road. Her eyes almost bugged out of her head when she saw us, only to find ourselves on the tail end of a chewing out for Grandma and me. My mom remembers that too, but not so fondly.

However, the memory that resonates most now is from their old TV. Have you ever seen those vintage sets from the 1970s, the ones with a giant channel knob you turn to tune into one of only thirteen stations? They look like a massive insect with the two huge antennae yearning for any kind of signal in the