True Civility

By Louisa Akaiso and Maureen Ajudua

True Civility explores civility practices in different contexts and diverse environmental terrains. So long as society and environment continue in their roles as fundamental variables in qualifying the act of civility, the ability to adapt our practices to these surroundings we find ourselves in remain paramount irrespective of culture, race, sex, or belief. If the divergent environments we operate in are ignored, practicing civility will become challenging, leading to an ultimate loss of purpose. Unless this is thoroughly understood, the backlash on civility issues will continue because what may be considered as civil behavior in one environment may easily be considered as uncivil in some.

The authors of True Civility advocate that the prerequisite to understanding what civility involves is certainly a practical one. One that entails we understudy civility in a natural nonstatic setting, where we experience real-life scenarios in varying context, thus eliminating social constructionism on how the society perceives and practices civility. To remain effective, the authors recommend the practice of civility be observed continually through a multidimensional lens, staying flexible to adjustments and tolerant to differences. The authors finally conclude that civility goes beyond being a dynamic construct that changes constantly to adapt to the society and environment. Civility is undeniably a living practice.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: May 6, 2019
• ISBN: 9781644247440

Book preview

Chapter 1

Introduction to Civility

Since the times of our earliest ancestors, from the early beginnings when humans first learned to trade and interact with each other, there have been strife and struggles between people. And from those struggles, our fathers realized that we needed to find a way to communicate with each other respectfully. People had to consider the effects of their actions if they didn’t want to be at odds with each other. Our fathers created the practice that we today call civility. Civility has proven itself to be a building block of society and a template for how we are to treat each other. However, the understanding of (or failure to understand) civility has proven to be the downfall of many civilizations.

Civility is not the same thing as politeness. The British are well-known for their politeness, but they’re also well-known for having been uncivil to many countries for centuries. They subjugated many nations and killed millions of innocent people. During the American Revolutionary War, they were extremely polite to doom American captives. Imagine walking up a scaffold as a captor says to you, Step this way, please. Or as you see the basket in which your head will fall, imagine the executioner saying, Would you be so kind as to bow your head?

Is he polite? Yes.

Is he civil? No.

Civility is more than politeness. Civility is about adaptability to the customs of other people. Civility is about compromise. It is the recognition that what might be permissible as polite behavior in one society does not necessarily translate to another society. And with that recognition, you can adapt. Failure to recognize and respect other people’s parameters (or their failure to respect yours) can often create strife, be it in your local or the international community. Civility is a necessary practice to have, whether you are a child, the pope, or the president of the United States. It requires finesse and understanding. The French call it savoir faire.

There are many cultures in the world, and they all understand the basic tenets of civility: Don’t kill, don’t steal, don’t bear false witness against your neighbor. These are universal standards of morality. And when we follow these standards in our treatment of each other, we create a better society not only for ourselves, but for our children and our children’s children. Take for instance the case of a lady not wearing a facial covering in certain parts of the world. This would be considered uncivil. Aside from offending the inhabitants of that country, such display can lead to a fine, being ridiculed, and, in some extreme cases, imprisonment. Whereas in the Western world, many people are rightfully offended by the idea that any woman would be forced to wear a headdress. Such a doctrine in the Western world wouldn’t get very far because, in the Western culture, civility dictates that women in the society are to dress the way they want, regardless of the opinions of others. From the beginning of time, as you can see, civility has always proven itself a necessary tool to bridge cultural gaps and align differences for people to better communicate with one other. It has also been established that those who fail to master civility suffer. Thus, civility is the building block of the society and a template for how we are to treat each other.

Unfortunately, civility is slowly going the way of the dodo. Despite recent efforts toward globalization and mass scale attempts to understand one another, recent changes in our governments have taken progress a step backward. It is uncivil, for example, for a woman to not wear a facial covering in certain parts of the world, such as Saudi Arabia. If a Western woman were to ignore such a law while visiting those countries, she would almost certainly face a fine and ridicule and, in some extreme cases, imprisonment. Worst-case scenario, the inhabitants of that country would be offended. Then again, here in the United States, many people are rightfully offended by the idea that any woman would be forced to wear a headdress, even if it was against her will. If someone from one of those ultraconservative Islamic countries were to attempt to enforce such dogma over here, he or she wouldn’t get very far because over here, civility dictates that we allow women in our society the freedom to choose how they dress, regardless of the opinions of others. When our leaders fail to demonstrate civility to others, their reactions can create unrest both in our countries and in our world. If you learn nothing else from this book, I pray you will remember the absolute need always to be