Politeness or civility? Alexandra Hudson untangles the difference.

For Alexandra Hudson, working in Washington, D.C., was a culture shock. Ms. Hudson hails from Canada, land of the nice, where her mother is a renowned coach of good manners. So when working at a U.S. government agency, she was taken aback by brusque, sharp-elbowed office politics. To her relief, she also met colleagues who were well mannered. “At first, I thought, ‘OK, these are my people,’” says Ms. Hudson, in a video interview from her Indianapolis home. “And then I realized that these people would smile at you, flatter