Reflections: A Tormented Love Story

By Melissa Souza

She’s the pretty little rich girl haunted by a dark past. He’s the boy from a broken home. They are just a couple of friends finding their way through life until one night of partying turns their lives around, and baby makes three.

Five years after Reagan loses her virginity to Xander, she is faced with seeing him again. Now that Xander’s mother has seen her son, Reagan knows there is no way he isn’t going to find out. But can she handle having Xander back in her life after he walked away without letting her tell him the news of her pregnancy?

Living in London for the last five years has changed Xander, but nothing could ever prepare him for finding out he fathered a child. Furious that Reagan didn’t tell him about the pregnancy, he moves back to the States to be a part of his child’s life and make Reagan pay for keeping his child from him. Can he forgive her before it is too late?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 29, 2022
• ISBN: 9781662448805

Book preview

Reagan

Three years later…

I was walking home from my last day of senior year, contemplating my upcoming graduation, cosmetology school, my online business classes, and my one wild and crazy night nine weeks ago with my lifelong crush, Xander Torres. I had no idea how I was going to tell Shelby the news I found out this morning, nor did I know how I was going to tell Xander. I am pregnant, and I am scared. I wished my dad were alive for probably the millionth time since I took the pregnancy test this morning. He would be able to comfort and help me through this. At least I have Shelby. So I am not completely alone. Besides, Shelby has always treated me as if I were her biological daughter anyway.

With me coming into my inheritance in a couple of weeks, being able to financially care for the child was no problem. The problem was I was still seventeen, about to graduate high school, start cosmetology school and business classes online, and I did not know if I was really ready to be a mother. What if I decide to keep this baby? What was I going to do if Xander did not want to be a part of the baby’s life? I knew I was never going to be a part of Xander’s life. He told me as much at the party we went to nine weeks earlier—after he made me believe he cared about me. Okay, I admit it, I may have wanted to believe he cared more than he did, so I took the sweet nothings too seriously.

I probably will not say anything to Xander until I have time to process my own feelings about the situation. But I cannot hide anything from Shelby. She would know something was wrong the moment I set foot in the house. I am going to have to tell her as soon as I get home.

Shelby! I called when I walked through the door. I’m home!

Hey, baby! You’re home late, she said, coming out of the living room.

Yeah, sorry, I know I should have called, but I had a lot on my mind, so I walked home instead of getting a ride from Sarah.

Sarah has been my best friend since we were in diapers. I always said she should have been my sister, not my friend, because of how close we are. The only time I did not get a ride from Sarah was when either Xander or I was driving. Since the party, it has just been Sarah and me. Xander has been distant, and though Sarah could care less, I was upset about it. But I walked today, that would be the biggest red flag for Shelby.

Concerned, Shelby asked, Are you okay?

I will be, but I need to talk to you about something. I know I messed up, and I have been beating myself up about it all day. So please try to be understanding. This is ridiculously hard for me to say.

Rea, you know that you can tell me anything. No matter what it is, I will keep an open mind, and we will work it out together, just like we always have. Let us go into the kitchen and have some of last night’s cheesecake, and we can talk, Shelby said nervously. She knew it did not have anything to do with school. I was a straight-A student. But I do not think she was ready for what I was about to confess.

I stared at Shelby with tears running down my face, trying to build up the courage to tell her.

What is it, honey? It cannot be so bad that you are afraid to tell me. Is it school? Did you and Sarah have a fight? You and Xander?

With a deep breath, I blurted out, No, Shelby. I’m pregnant. And I’m scared.

You…you’re…pregnant? Are you sure? I did not even know you had a boyfriend. Does he know? Why didn’t you tell me about him?

I don’t have a boyfriend. I do not even think he is a friend anymore. And no, I have not told him. I don’t even know if I want to.

Can I ask why?

I straightened my back and sat tall like my father would want me to whenever I knew I had to take responsibility for my actions. I do not know how I knew, but at that moment, my father was there, giving me the courage to tell Shelby everything.

As you know, since second grade, I have had a crush…

Your crush is on Xander, right? Shelby cut in.

Yes, on him. Anyway, there was alcohol at this party I went to with Sarah and Xander. All our friends were drinking, and they seemed to be having fun. I wanted to try it and see what the big deal was. It was not peer pressure or anything. You know my friends are not like that and accept me and my decisions without judgment. But like I said, I wanted to try it and see what all the fuss was about. I guess I had too much to drink because the next thing I knew, I was telling Xander how I felt about him. He started telling me that he really cared about me too and that we have been best friends for a long time. He said that when I was not around, his life did not feel complete. I made him want to be a better person. I took it as he felt the same way I did. I do not know who made the first move, but the next thing I know, our clothes were off, and some pretty X-rated things were going on. Afterward, I asked him if anything more would ever come out of it, and he said no, that he only slept with me because he did not know I was a virgin. He said if he had known, it never would have happened because he did not care about me in a relationship sense. He felt I was more of a friend or even a sister to him, not a girlfriend, and what had happened between us probably would not have if he had known I had never had sex before. He said I deserve more respect than that because I am a genuinely good girl, and any decent guy would be honored to have me by his side. He said my first time should have been with someone who was not just getting their rocks off at a party. I did not think about the fact that we did not use protection until the next day when the painful shock wore off from the rejection I felt. I mean, I went from pure bliss to heartbroken in a matter of minutes. I also did not think I would have gotten pregnant though my period had ended the week before. I am so sorry, Shelby. I really messed up. I know that.

Reagan, I’m not going to lecture you on the past. Yes, I am upset about this, but I am here for you, just as I have always been. You know you did wrong, and I think that is punishment enough. Now is not the time to be getting yourself all worked up and stressed out. With that said, I have to ask, do you want to keep this baby?

I sat there for a long time, just staring out the window, contemplating my life and how it would change no matter what I decided to do about the baby. The more I thought about it, the more I could picture my child. I slowly looked at Shelby and said, I think so, Shelby. My dad would have wanted me to hold myself accountable for my irresponsible behavior. I also know that I cannot do this on my own. I am going to need help. And I am sure that after graduation tomorrow when I tell Xander, he will not want to be around to help. I mean, he is going to Oxford! Why would he want to give that up for me or a baby he probably does not even want?

Well, Shelby said, "the next thing we have to do is get you to a doctor. You need proof you’re pregnant in case Xander doesn’t believe you, and we need to make sure that baby has the best care