Through the Glass Darkly

By James Styles

This story begins in the year 2030 as our lead character is an eighty-five-year-old man who lives alone in a modern world. He has outlived his wife and most of his friends and family. One evening as he sits down in front of his TV, he falls asleep and awakens to find himself in the year 1961. He thinks he is having a dream, but it is one that is so vivid and realistic that he wonders if it is just a dream, or is he really somehow back in 1961? And if so, why? Is it to correct a long-ago decision? Thus begins our hero's journey back in time as he pursues a completely different career and personal path. I think some of us would like another "bite of the apple" and maybe make some different decisions from the ones that were made in the past.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Jun 17, 2020
• ISBN: 9781646705610

Book preview

Part 1

Amy

For now, we see through a glass darkly; but then face to face now I know in part; but then even as also I am known (1 Corinthians 13:12 KJV)

Chapter 1

As I leaned back in my easy chair, settled in for another night of television watching, I was still trying to adjust to the loss of my beloved wife last year. I felt the weight of eighty plus years of living on my shoulders, and it just makes me tired as I can feel my body starting to fail me. It seems like I have a new ache or pain just about every day, but on the plus side, I still feel like my mind is strong, and I do have my memories to comfort me.

At this stage of my life, I have more friends and relatives in heaven than I do here on earth. My best friend of over seventy years passed away two years ago, fulfilling my worst fear that I would be the last alive and completely alone now that Amy had passed also. My sister and my mom and dad are gone now as well.

Oh, I have my daughter and son-in-law and my precious granddaughter, who must be around fifteen by now, that live in Dallas, but I rarely get to see them. They do call me on occasion—just to check in, I suppose—but it’s as difficult for me to get up there to see them as it is for them to travel down here to Austin. I can’t say I really blame her for not making more of an effort to come see me as I wasn’t that good of a father to her, especially when she needed me the most. If I could go back in time and change some of the decisions I made, I would gladly do so. My stepdaughter, who is Amy’s child by a previous marriage, is very attentive and makes contact with me at least once a week. Of that, I am more grateful than you know.

After I lost Amy, I stopped trying to make new friends. At my age, what’s the point? They’re just going to die on me eventually anyway. It seems the whole world is younger than me. So I sit here alone night after night, watching television alone as even my pet cats had also aged and died.

As I closed my eyes, I drifted back in time to when I was a young man and reflected back on the decisions I made, both good and bad, and I fantasized on how things might have turned out with a different set of choices. I was feeling so weary. I thought I’d just sit back and rest for just a moment.

Bobby, wake up, you have to go to school. You can’t be late on the first day, you know. Robert Allen Sims. This is the last time I’m going to call you. Don’t make me send your dad in there to get you. Now wake up!

I slowly open my eyes and look around the room. This isn’t where I live. This looks like my old room when I was in high school. This can’t be right.

I still have vivid memories of the wonderful house I grew up in. It wasn’t grand or elegant, just a small one-story wooden frame two-bedroom with a single bathroom. I shared a bedroom with my sister until she was in high school; then my dad built a room on the other end of the house with her own private bathroom, where the garage once stood. Of course, there was no air-conditioning, just an attic fan that must have had propeller blades from a small airplane, for they were large and would effectively draw in air from the outside through open windows in the bedrooms, keeping us quite cool in the summertime. In the winter, our heat came from layers of blankets; and upon wakening, it meant a quick trip to the bathroom, where Mom had already been up and had lit the gas stove for heat. Then down the hall to the kitchen, Mom was to be found cooking breakfast over a warm stove. The only other room was a living room, where we would watch our family black-and-white television and sometimes take meals on TV trays.

I made myself sit up and slowly get out of bed. I felt a little different. Nothing hurt, and I seemed to have more energy. That’s strange. I ran my hand over the top of my head and felt hair, and then I reached for my glasses, and there weren’t any. What’s going on here? I need to find a mirror.

I found a robe at the foot of my bed, put it on, and carefully made my way to a familiar bathroom from long ago. As I looked in the mirror, I was astonished at the youthful face staring back at me of a sixteen-year-old. No wrinkles, no bald head, only the tight, young skin of a youthful man. What’s going on here? Have I died, and this is heaven? I looked further and found my body to be lean and strong, with no protruding belly of an old man. If I had died and gone to heaven, I must say I approve.

I carefully left the bathroom and walked down the hall to the kitchen, not knowing what I was going to find next but eagerly awaiting the next discovery.

It’s about time, Bobby. Sit down. Your breakfast is ready.

I almost teared up as there was my mom, youthful and, most of all alive, and seemingly happy. I couldn’t help myself. I ran over to her and gave her a hug.

Bobby, what’s gotten in to you? Thanks for the hug, but if you don’t sit down and eat and get ready for school, you’re going to be late.

Mom, I don’t care. I’m just so happy to see you.

Why are you acting so strange? You just saw me last night.

About that time, my dad entered the room, followed closely by my sister Sandra. All I could do was smile as I once again, though I don’t know how, had my whole family with me. But I did as Mom told me to do and ate breakfast and then returned to my room to get ready for school. I hadn’t noticed it before, but there in the corner of my bedroom was that old 1950 Westinghouse television with a seven-inch screen in a cabinet that must have weighed one hundred pounds. I thought, I don’t understand what has happened to me, but I’m going to enjoy this as long as I can. I walked over and embraced, first, my dad and then Sandra before I left for school, just so glad to see them so young and filled with vitality.

Mom, what is wrong with Bobby? Why is he acting this way? Does he have a fever or something?

I don’t know. He seems to be in a great mood for some reason.

I walked out of the house, and there sitting in the driveway was my old 1940 Ford Coupe, just like it was back in 1961. Wait, I need to go back inside and look at the calendar and see what year I find myself in. I discovered it was September 1961.

I climbed in behind the wheel of that old Ford and turned the key, and I was thrilled as the flathead V-8 roared to life. What a sweet sound as the whole car trembled with the power of the engine. I noticed my transistor radio dangling from the rear-view mirror, and I reached up to turn it on, hoping it still worked. Amazingly, the sounds of the radio blasted with the Shirelles and Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? I drove over to my high school and parked, then went inside, still reveling in this adventure. As I walked down the hall to the auditorium for the morning assembly, there coming toward me was my best friend Tommy. I felt a lump forming in my throat as I was so glad to see this young version, so I reached out to give him a hug.

Hey, Bobby, what’s that for?

I feel like I haven’t seen you for such a long time, that’s all.

Have you lost your mind? I saw you yesterday in Mr. Myer’s geometry class. Did you hit your head or something?

As we walked to the auditorium, it was finally starting to sink in that maybe this was God giving me a second chance to right some wrongs and make better decisions this time around. With that in mind, I started thinking about Amy, and was she going to be included in this fantasy? I had always felt like I should have married her when we were young instead of letting Ronnie steal her away from me. How different my life and hers would have been if we hadn’t let thirty-five years elapse before we finally found each other. I assumed I was soon to find out.

But seeing Amy would have to wait until tonight when I could get home and give her a call, but for now as Tommy and I filed in to the auditorium for morning assembly, I was looking around to catch a glimpse of my old classmates. I grabbed a seat in the middle next to Tommy, and as I started to look around, I saw Laura sitting in front of me, next to Annie. These two girls were by far the most beautiful and popular in high school and did not even know I existed. I kind of had to smile at myself as I thought, They are about to know who I am. When I was young and in high school the first time, I was way too shy to approach anyone in the upper crust of high school society, but now, knowing what I know, I have absolutely nothing to lose by being aggressive in my approach to not only these girls but the guys that so disdained me as being way beneath them to even talk to me. That was about to change, but in a fun way.

It wasn’t long before our principal, H. L. Cooley, and the assistant principal, Claude Masters, walked out on the stage to address us. I was amused to say the least to hear what information they were about to pass on to us, such as the latest in personal hygiene or auto safety. In fifteen minutes they were done and we started walking out of the auditorium and to our home room classes. Tommy and I had separate home rooms, but as we were walking down the hall, I noticed that we were behind the aforementioned Laura and Annie. I told Tommy, Watch this, I’m going to shake those two girls’ lives up just a bit.

What are you doing? You know you can’t talk to them. They have boyfriends that wouldn’t take it well.

Laura was tall at about five feet six with shoulder-length blonde hair and deep blue eyes and a shape that—well, let’s just say that nature had been very kind to Laura, and she really filled out those cashmere sweaters she liked to wear. She was going steady with Jerry McKenzie, our star basketball player, and he didn’t take it kindly when other guys tried to approach Laura.

Annie, on the other hand, was only about five feet two with smoldering soft brown eyes and short dark hair, with a perpetual smile and open, friendly nature about her. This explains why she was consistently one of the most popular girls in school, but she too was spoken for as the girlfriend of Gary Domino, the quarterback on our football team. Gary had a reputation as having a nasty jealous attitude when it came to Annie.

So what I was about to do did carry a certain degree of risk, but I didn’t care. I was a nobody in high school, so what exactly did I have to lose? I stepped up my pace and left Tommy behind and inserted myself between Laura and Annie and put my arms around both girls’ shoulders. Hey, ladies, what’s up?

Both girls turned and looked at me with some askance, as if to say, without saying it, Who are you? Now, I was not exactly a shrimp myself as I stood at six feet tall, but I was a bit on the skinny side, weighing in around 135 pounds.

Laura, Annie, my name is Bobby Sims, and I have always wanted to introduce myself to you, and this seemed like as good a time as any. What do you think? How about we meet after school for a Coke at the bowling alley across the street from campus and really get acquainted?

Annie was the first to speak after the initial shock of my action. Well, Bobby, first of all, unhand me and my friend Laura, and maybe we’ll talk about this. But you must know we both have steady boyfriends that may not appreciate your offer. So I suggest you tread carefully.

I said my goodbyes to the ladies and walked back over to my locker where Tommy was waiting for me with a big smile on his face. Bobby, I got to hand it to you, that took guts. Whatever has gotten in to you?

I can’t say, only that I am glad to be young and alive and having a good time with my best friend.

I finished out the day going to classes and, I must say, enjoying even the most mundane of them, like geometry and algebra. It was good to see my old Spanish teacher, Mrs. Smith, who was my all-time favorite teacher in this world or any other.

I didn’t follow up on my offer to Laura and Annie about our impromptu date at the bowling alley, feeling for sure that they were not going to show; and if they did, it would be with their respective boyfriends, and I was not ready to face that just yet. No, I piled in to my 1940 Ford and drove home with a complete intention of having dinner with my folks, maybe watching Cheyenne on television in the living room and then calling Amy. I was as excited at the prospect of once again seeing Amy as a young girl as any experience I had ever had in my long life.

Amy, Bobby here, how are you? Any chance I could come over later and see you? It seems like it’s been ages.

Bobby, are you all right? I just saw you last Sunday at church.

It was sweet to hear her voice again, so much so that I almost got choked up just talking briefly on the phone. I couldn’t wait to see her. Well, you know it’s a school night, and I have homework, but I guess you could come over for maybe an hour or so. Is that okay with you?

That sounds wonderful. I’ll be there in thirty minutes.

I asked my dad if I could take the 1958 Buick, and he agreed. Before I left, Mom said, Bobby, don’t be out too late. Remember, you have school tomorrow, and I assume you have homework you need to get to. But you go ahead and have a good time with Amy. Mom always liked Amy and encouraged me to spend as much time with her as she would allow.

It was only a ten-minute drive to Amy’s house, but I so enjoyed driving that big Buick again. I had enjoyed a lot of good times in that car some years ago, and now I was able to relive those adventures. I was reminded that I needed to call my old friend Walton James, another buddy of mine that I was close to in my high school days.

Amy and I, at this point in our lives, as best I could remember, only were friends and dated casually and were by no means serious about each other. That would come years later, so I had to remember that fact when I knocked on her door. As she answered the door, she said, Hi, Bobby, glad to see you. Is there something special on your mind? This isn’t like you to call during the week with such urgency to see me.

No, nothing special. I just wanted to see you and ask you for a date for the weekend to maybe go to a movie or anything you wanted to do.

Well, some of the kids at church are going to a party at Gerald Roberts’s house, and I kind of want to go, but I didn’t want to go by myself. Would that be okay with you?

The first thing that crossed my mind besides securing a date with Amy for the weekend was this was a golden opportunity to see all my old church friends like Tim and John and Patrick. So of course, I enthusiastically agreed. I can pick you up around seven and maybe take you to Vic and Al’s for dinner, then on to the party. Would that be all right with you?

Okay, dinner and a party sounds great.

And with that, she laughed that melodious laugh that I had always loved to hear. Amy was a spectacular beauty of a girl that I don’t think I really appreciated until it was too late, at least the first time around. I let her slip away and marry Ronnie when it should have been me, and I always regretted that. Maybe that’s why I was here as a sixteen-year-old again, to correct that wrong decision.

As I drove home from Amy’s, the thought crossed my mind that if I went to sleep tonight, would I wake up in the morning and be that eighty-something-year-old man again, and this would all be a pleasant dream, or would I awake with the story continuing? So it was with some trepidation that I told Mom and Dad good-night and retreated to my room for the night. I wasn’t able to tell Sandra goodbye as she had already left for the university to continue her college career.

I lay there for some time fighting sleep, not knowing what to expect if I drifted off. But it was inevitable as my eyes finally closed, and I fell into a deep slumber, only to awaken and find myself somehow still in 1961 in my old house. I repeated yesterday’s routine and drove myself to school, still loving that old rattletrap Ford every mile of the way.

As I walked toward the auditorium for morning assembly, I noticed on the school bulletin board the announcement of football tryouts after school today. That was another regret that I remembered from my first time around that I didn’t play any kind of team sport, but I was about to correct that. Tommy was on the basketball team and was one of the best players, and I always envied him his success, but basketball was not my goal; football was.

After assembly, Tommy and I were making our way to our respective homerooms when suddenly there was Jerry and Gary coming straight at us with malice in their eyes, and I knew I was going to have to account for my behavior yesterday with their girlfriends.

Tommy, looks like trouble headed our way. You step back, I’ll handle this. I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to exactly accomplish that, but strangely I felt no fear as the two boys surrounded me and backed me up against the lockers.

Hey, Sims, you want to explain yourself to us about yesterday when you dared to put your hands on our girlfriends and even tried to make a date with them? Why would you disrespect us like that? You little worm, you should have known we would come after you.

As Jerry and Gary pressed in closer to me, I just smiled and said, Come on, fellows, you know I would never intentionally do anything like that. I was just having a little fun with Laura and Annie.

Now, Jerry, being a basketball player, was about six feet three and weighed around two hundred pounds while Gary was about my height but outweighed me by at least thirty pounds.

What happened next must have been only my instinct of fight or flight as I brought my knee up hard between Jerry’s legs, disabling him, and then swung on Gary, connecting flush with his jaw, causing both boys to retreat, giving me a path out; and as I walked off, I turned and looked as they both were in obvious pain, but the fight had gone out of them. That being said, I knew the best thing I could do was avoid them for a few days as best I could, hoping they would cool off and let the situation go. The crowd that had watched this play out, including Tommy, who seemed to be stunned into silence, wondering who was this cat that just stood up to the two biggest bullies in school and got away with it, at least for now.

After school, I showed up for football tryouts, and I was excited. I had played in junior high for one year, so I felt like that in spite of being skinny, I did have some skills. First thing I saw was Gary standing with the other starters, glaring at me with a huge bruise on his jaw. I knew Coach Mo was the only one holding him back, so I tipped my hat to Gary, smiled, and that seemed to only make him angrier. But you know what? I didn’t care.

Coach Mo Jackson had been our head football coach for as long as anyone could remember, and also as long as anyone could remember, our team had never been any good. I don’t think we had ever had a winning season, at least no one could think of one. That being said, we had always been known as a great basketball school, going to district and state championships on several occasions. It seemed like the better athletes went out for basketball; and the coach, George Duncan, wouldn’t let them play football for fear of injury.

However, the feeling was that we had a loaded veteran football team that finally was going to be respected and tough to beat if nothing else. Coach Mo started out the tryouts by separating the boys that wanted to play offense from those that preferred defense. There were about twenty of us that showed up. For me, I really didn’t care, just as long as I was able to get on the field and play some. Most of the boys seemed to favor offense, so I wandered over to the defensive side of the football.

Coach Mo finally got around to talking directly to me. Son, where do you feel like you would best fit on this team? You have chosen defense, so what are you thinking? You are a little on the skinny side, but you are taller than almost anybody else trying out.

Coach, I think I would like to play defensive end. I’m pretty quick on my feel, and I think I can be good at rushing the quarterback.

You may be right. Let’s start there and see what happens.

We spent the rest of the day performing several athletic endeavors for the coaches, and at the end of the day, about twelve of the tryouts were excused, and I was among the eight or so that made the team. This time around, I was going to fulfill one of my childhood dreams that I didn’t before.

I went home after practice, and at dinner, I told my mom and dad that I had made the football team. Typically, my dad showed no interest whatsoever, but my mom was thrilled for me. I called Tommy, and he was happy for me as well. Next up on my agenda, provided that by some miracle I was able to continue this fantasy, was the Friday night church party with Amy.

I picked Amy up, and as we drove to Vic and Al’s for dinner, we had a lively conversation, mostly about our experiences this past week. Once we arrived at the restaurant, we shared a cheese and pepperoni