A Life Worthwhile: No Life is Ordinary

By Brenda Blessing Ratliff

The slant-roofed chicken coop only had three sides, but it would work until her father was home long enough to build a real house. Even though it had a dirt floor, it was definitely an upgrade from sleeping in the car. A Life Worthwhile--No Life is Ordinary is a true story that chronicles the life of a young, East Texas girl as she cares for a sick and dying mother. Homelessness was fairly common during the Great Depression, but assuming the responsibilities as head of the household at age nine was not. The life of Joy Jenkins, an ordinary farm girl, was extraordinary. Joy met the love of her life in the third grade when a little redheaded, freckle-faced boy smiled at her. Their lives were so intertwined that her story includes his. After his death, Joy's solitary existence was altered by a dementia diagnosis. The book includes details of her children's journey as they struggled through the devastation of each stage of this disease and made decisions on her behalf. It is a must read for families who have loved ones facing Alzheimer's, dementia, or any other debilitating mental disease. It will make you smile, laugh, and cry.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Jun 30, 2020
• ISBN: 9781646706983

Book preview

Acknowledgments

My brother and sister, Andy Blessing and Debbie Blessing Harrison, played a key role in providing information about Mom, especially leading up to and after her dementia diagnosis. Their details helped fill in the gaps that made her story complete. Thank you. Debbie also served as an extra pair of eyes when it came to editing and revising the rough draft. She met every deadline I gave her and never complained. I’m so glad you’re my sister!

Tim Cates saved my life when it came to getting the manuscript ready to submit. My technology challenges came as easy as breathing to him. I will be eternally grateful for your willingness to share your expertise. You can add my name to the mounting list of people who owe you for the generous amount of time you are willing to give doing favors for them. You have an exceptionally big heart when it comes to service, and I’m proud to call you my friend as long as you’re behaving.

Mark McDonald and Laura Drake offered their continued encouragement and support as I struggled to find time to complete the story. Thanks for being there for me. Mark, keep asking how my writing is going. Laura, keep teaching me how it’s done. I need you both.

Introduction

Many lives were forged by the Great Depression. It is probably the single most important event that impacted the creation of what is now called The Greatest Generation—those who were children during that time. Most adults that lived through it knew a better life previously and were hopeful for a return to such when it was over. For them it was a matter of riding out the storm regardless of how long it took. Food shortages were a reality, and tough circumstances caused many to turn to God. Since little else was to be had, family became of the utmost importance.

In the late 1920s when Herbert Hoover became president, the economy had been growing. The oil industry was booming in Texas, but for farmers, times were still hard. A farmer’s life is never easy. In 1929 the value of stocks fell dramatically. This launched the beginning of the Great Depression and caused a domino effect for the overall economy. Banks failed because investors could not repay their loans. People lost their jobs and had no means of buying much of anything, which resulted in the closure of businesses and factories and a decrease in the price of crops. There was no form of commerce that was spared.

Hoover did not anticipate what he considered an economic downturn to last for an extended period of time, so his mandate was that local governments, charities, churches, and communities care for their own until it blew over. He never expected what he thought was a phase to last well over a decade. Strong families were the champions of the day.

It is common knowledge that the most important part of a child’s life developmentally is the first three years. Each time a child uses one of its senses, a neurological connection is made. Repeated experiences shape the way a child thinks, feels, moves, behaves, and learns, both immediately and in the future. A close relationship between a child and a caregiver helps develop the child’s ability to learn, to be confident, to develop empathy, and to nurture positive social skills and relationships both as a child and as an adult. It is crucial to understand the impact the Depression had on these children—The Greatest Generation.

There are three basic emotional needs that are innate to every human, and the children were impacted by all of them—the need to love and be loved, the need to belong or feel a part of something, and the need to feel worthwhile or that what is being done is purposeful, beneficial, and worth the effort. But does a life concentrated on the well-being of others satisfy that third need? According to Albert Einstein, Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. And Ephesians 4 encourages us to live worthy of our calling. This concept of worth gives rise to other questions. Does living a life of tending to others count as worthy or worthwhile when it is born of required duties and family expectations and needs, or is self-satisfaction a key element of it? What if this tending was an accepted way of life that was void of an alternate option? There seem to be no strings attached to these ideas, but were they born from observing another’s life, or were they founded on individual perception? Does point of view matter?

It is the arduous labor that was required to survive that developed these children’s lifelong work ethic. Living daily by barely making ends meet introduced an extremely simplistic lifestyle as normal, and the difference between what was wanted and what was needed was clearly defined. However, they were able to overcome insurmountable obstacles because of their faith in an omniscient and loving God, their steadfast and supportive families, and their inherent and enduring fortitude. Their character was developed through trial by fire.

There have been countless tributes made to honor the worth of individuals who played a key role in the lives of others while remaining in the background. Typically the subjects are those who are known across nations or even perhaps across oceans, those whose names are easily recognized. However, if the daily experiences of almost anyone are put under a microscope, it can be concluded that no life is ordinary. Many men and women of strength and courage remain nameless to the public, but that should in no way diminish their significance. We all do not live in the same-sized world. Greatness and worth can sometimes be disguised in anonymity. The daily lives of seemingly obscure individuals often prove to be extraordinary.

It has been said that everyone has a story, and this is my mother’s. Her name is Joy. Since her life was intricately intertwined with my dad’s, it is about him as well. It would be impossible to separate the two. To fully appreciate them, it is necessary to go back to the beginning and the details that provided the setting for their upbringing. Much of the information as far as timelines of national events can be substantiated by numerous history books, encyclopedias, and recorded documents. The facts are not controversial. My mom’s diary, her mother’s diary, and the stories she and my dad shared with me throughout my life support the personal components of how their character was shaped and what has become their legacy. I believe their lives were worthwhile, and their story merits telling.

A Tribute to Mother

She was the first to hold me, and her arms cradled me in love.

When I was hungry she fed me—my every need she tried to meet.

She held my hands when I learned to walk and taught me to say the name of Jesus.

Her nights she spent helping me to learn and teaching me to study God’s law first.

When I was angry she taught me to pray. When I was discouraged she showed me the good I had overlooked.

When I needed her she was always there, and when I cried, she cried too.

She delighted in my first loves and listened patiently to all my problems.

And when I was grown, she let go and entrusted me to the God she loved as did Hannah of old.

My heritage is her example of faith, her constant prayer, and her endless love.

My hope is in the Lord Jesus, God of my mother. (Author unknown)

Part 1

Chapter 1

The slant-roofed chicken coop only had three sides, but it would work until her dad was home long enough to build a real house. It had a dirt floor, but it was definitely an upgrade from sleeping in the car. Her mother’s name was Birdie, and her father’s name was Baylor. Joy’s story starts with them.

Birdie Lee Noel was the adopted daughter of a well-to-do family in Alto, Texas. There are many rumors as to her background or true heritage. She could have been the Native American child that happened to be lucky enough to be chosen for adoption. Or she could have been the illegitimate child of her adoptive father and his Indian servant girl. It was no secret that Birdie was not liked by her adoptive mother for whatever reason. She wanted no details of the adoption known, so she made sure all documents pertaining to the transaction were sealed away forever. Perhaps Birdie’s dark hair and eyes and her high cheek bones and tan skin were a constant reminder of her husband’s infidelity. Maybe she was embarrassed by the child’s appearance and the social assumptions that might be made about her marriage, or maybe she simply did not care for anyone who did not look as she thought they should.

Regardless of her mother’s disapproval, Birdie captured her father’s heart. Charles Mel Noell, the successful businessman who owned most of the town, was proud of her and quick to show her off publicly. They could often be seen about town together or riding through the streets in his impressive carriage. She was an only child, and he loved her as she was. When the Cherokee County Courthouse burned to the ground, all records both sealed and open were reduced to ashes, so all that remains as far as who she really was is speculation. There are no records to indicate that at any point in her life Birdie made inquiry or wondered about her heritage or her biological parents. This was her accepted background, and it is this limited information that was passed on to her children.

Birdie Lee Noel had dark hair and eyes, high cheekbones and tan skin.

Birdie may have been a child of privilege, but she appreciated hard work and was loaded with common sense. Somewhere along the way, she was introduced to a loving, sovereign God, and her faith was strong. She met Baylor when he was a teenager working at one of her father’s gas stations. The details of their courtship are not recorded, but it is no secret that she loved him completely, and this was the foundation of their marriage.

Baylor Joseph Jenkins was a hardworking man and the descendant of immigrants. His white blond hair and skyblue eyes were in sharp contrast to Birdie’s coloring. After graduating from high school, Baylor found a steady job working for the railroad and eventually asked Birdie’s hand in marriage. He had grown to love her as she did him. In 1917 when President Woodrow Wilson ordered the nationalization of railroads shortly after the United States entered World War I, many jobs were available, and good workers were needed to fill them. However, with the introduction of automobiles and airplanes in the 1920s, the need for railroads declined. And then there was the Great Depression, which impacted all aspects of everyday life for everyone, even those in small East Texas towns. But a man with determination could conquer almost anything, and what couldn’t be overcome could be outlasted.

Baylor Joseph Jenkins had light hair and sky blue eyes.

The railroad was what Baylor knew, so he stuck with it. He had married a girl that had never been in want of anything, and he instinctively knew that most certainly there would be trying times ahead. But he also knew that things would work out as long as he had a steady income and they were together, regardless of the lengthy periods of time he might be required to spend away from home on the job. Their faith was strong as was their marriage. Birdie was willing to face any challenge that might come to them. He was her man, he was her future, and they were a team. They had dreams of one day buying their own land and establishing a home and family. Keeping his job during one of the worst economic times this country has ever endured was foremost on his mind. It would require focus on his work and possibly frequent moves. Right now, the railroad needed him in Clovis, New Mexico, so he and Birdie would go there. And just maybe the change in climate might be good for Birdie’s asthma even if it was for a short while. More than likely, she would eventually start coughing again no matter where they lived.

Birdie and Baylor stayed at a work camp. They made the most of their time together in Clovis, so it didn’t take long to start the family they both wanted. The first child was a boy, Baylor Joseph. He was named after his dad, and he was known as Junior. Less than two years later in April of 1928, Joy Janice was born. They called her Sissy. Two years after that, Joyce Janet or Baby was added to the fold. The kids called Birdie Mother, and they called Baylor Boy. Lord only knows why those kids called their daddy Boy, but that was how he was known and referred to throughout their lives. Birdie called him the same thing.

Baylor had a job, and money was tight, but he had a steady paycheck coming in. He made sure his family had what they needed and was always willing to share food and supplies with those who were less fortunate. He was a quiet man, but he had a big heart and was generous that way. He was thankful for his job and took nothing for granted. One of these days, it could be his family that needed help. He was doing unto others and would continue to do so as long as he was able. Clovis had been founded as the small town the Santa Fe Railroad would go through as it travelled across the prairie. But as the area was established, the initial need for workers was no longer there, so Baylor was reassigned to East Texas. Joy was five years old when they moved back.

Birdie and Baylor were excited about returning to their roots and creating some of their own. They had few possessions—limited clothing, Birdie’s guitar, and a car, a Model A. Besides getting them where they needed to go, it became their shelter until other arrangements could be made. Boy was gone most of the time, so it was an easy fit for one adult and three small children. It was a mobile home in the truest sense of the word, and this means of shelter was not exclusive to their family alone. It was a sign of the times. They were happy and thankful for what they had.

Baylor and Birdie were frugal with what they spent. They had managed to save a few dollars in New Mexico, and because land was cheap, it wasn’t too long before they were able to buy fifteen acres in the Piney Woods of Gallatin. Since women were expected to tend to the home and household responsibilities, the only other source of income would be generated from what was done there. Now they were finally back and had a place of their own. This was the life they knew and where they wanted to be. They were home.

If we know where we come from, we may