Building The Life of A Woman Engineer: Constructing the Journey and Lessons from the Field

By Katherine Kehres

While engineering may typically be regarded as a more male-dominated industry, women can absolutely find success within the vastly technical, seemingly scientific, and often-contractual profession.

Katherine Kehres is just one example of a wife, a mother, and an engineer who maintains overwhelming satisfaction for the life she has constructed. Her persistence can be credited for navigating what others might find intimidating, and she sometimes considers frustrating.

Crafted with an aim to change the perceptions and misconceptions, Building the Life of a Woman Engineer is mostly a memoir, maybe a self-help, and hopefully an inspiration. A key purpose of its design is in bringing awareness to and acceptability for engineering, both as an educational pursuit and as a career field, for girls to strive toward and women to thrive in.

Katherine details her growth, resilience, and dedication over the years, despite originally assuming that engineering was only for men, dads, and nerds! She accentuates how the occupation actually encompasses traits and values beyond the baseline affinity for math and science. And the insight and lessons provided function as guidance for those pondering whether they or a friend or a family member could also find engineering interesting and incredibly rewarding.

No matter where anyone is within their own individual and unique journey, the reflections on personal and professional experiences are anticipated to help everyone be less naïve and more knowledgeable. Concurrently, big picture ideas serve as reassurance that all are in control of building their own life project, even when it is paved with challenges and obstacles.

So whether you have a desire to one day find your own niche, you already hold a critical role, or you are simply a champion for the importance and essentiality of engineers, your encouragement and camaraderie are welcomed in the engineering community!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Newman Springs Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: May 4, 2021
• ISBN: 9781636923048

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Building The Life of A Woman Engineer

Constructing the Journey and Lessons from the Field

Katherine Kehres

Copyright © 2021 Katherine Kehres

All rights reserved

First Edition

NEWMAN SPRINGS PUBLISHING

320 Broad Street

Red Bank, NJ 07701

First originally published by Newman Springs Publishing 2021

ISBN 978-1-63692-302-4 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63692-303-1 (Hardcover)

ISBN 978-1-63692-304-8 (Digital)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021901430

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

1. PLANNING (Remembering the Younger Years)

2. ALTERNATIVES (The High School Experience)

3. DESIGN (Immersion into College Life)

4. REVIEWING (Starting a Career)

5. CONSTRUCTION (Settling into the Profession)

6. INSPECTING (Growing as an Engineer)

7. DEFICIENCY LIST (Identifying Improvement Possibilities)

8. ACCEPTING (Owning and Understanding Responsibilities)

To the many inspiring woman engineers that have helped me envision a possibility, more than I could have ever imagined, for myself, thank you for leading the way and setting an example.

To the agency of the Florida Department of Transportation for giving me the tools and opportunities for success; thank you for believing in me and allowing me to flourish.

To my husband, Kris, and children, Noah and Amelia, for being my cheerleaders on this escapade. Thank you for recognizing the importance of me being a working wife and a working mom. We’ve been an amazing team, and I am so thankful for this crazy-busy-fun life we live together. (PS: I love you more than anyone says, I love you more!)

To my parents, Andrew and Betty, for guiding and loving me. Thank you for helping me become this woman engineer I am today. I am incredibly appreciative of all your direction and support.

To my sister, my brother, and my large extended family, for always encouraging me. Thank you for being an endless source of happiness and memories.

To the many young girls out there that may be inclined toward math or science yet aren’t sure what your true purpose or interests are. I hope you figure it out and one day look back, as I have, and recognize that the work is worth it.

I. DISCLAIMER

The thoughts, theories, recommendations, memories, and recollections expressed in this book are solely that of the author. They do not necessarily reflect that of the publisher, the industry, the agency, other engineers, or even other women. They, too, may not necessarily align with those of anyone referenced, including but not limited to family, friends, colleagues, and coworkers. Perspective is a unique and personal thing, and everyone is entitled to their own. The reader understands that there is no warranty or promise of the benefits or consequences that could result from any advice or guidance that is indicated or implied. The intentions of this book are primarily for awareness and education of a possible career path and a potential way to look at the journey of life. Any other use and implications are at the reader’s sole risk. The author does not guarantee or forecast similar success or failure. The author hopes that this book will be helpful but gives no insurance or pledge.

II. PREFACE: The Scope

In hindsight, I was always supposed to be exactly who I am, an engineer.

Better yet, a wife, a mother, and an engineer, all simultaneously.

It’s rather obvious when I deeply and honestly reflect on my past.

Even so, in a world where I have tended to make myself small and blend in with all the male engineers, I quickly forget that I, just like countless other women, have a unique story. And that I have something unique to offer by being female in a male dominated industry.

In a world where I am an achiever and have always given my all and strived for perfection, I have had trouble celebrating my very own successes. However, I can so effortlessly celebrate the successes of everyone else.

In a world where it is so easy to give up and make those excuses as to why the chosen path must not really be the desire, I kept on going. Despite the hurdles, despite the tears, despite the fears, I never gave up.

WHY

Looking back, I have done a disservice to other women, other girls, by downplaying how hard it has been to get to where I am today. It is, certainly, to some extent because I am a control freak, with a deep-rooted fear of failure. Just sharing a little bit of what I faced at different times in my life and in my career makes me a vulnerable target. Because select obstacles from my past regularly play through my mind as shame, I try to counteract everything that has happened, that could have so quickly dislodged my path, by working harder and proving my worth.

Sharing any of my successes feels like bragging. I mean, everyone has successes in life and in their careers. So why are mine any different? They are not. Quite frankly, my past successes could be someone else’s bottom line because they have found a way, their way, to reach for something different. My successes could be someone else’s dreams and they are still attempting to ponder their way through the craziness we call life.

At any rate, for me, for my story, I have never thought it was worthy enough to share. Until now.

As I recollect and remind myself of why I love my job, why I love being an engineer, why I love being a working mom, why I even love working with my husband, I hate to think that there are other girls or other women who are somewhere on their path with a similar journey that are ready to give up. And that is why I have finally and unequivocally decided it is my time to represent.

Should these words and reflections help someone, anyone, just one (even if that’s exclusively my daughter), then being so open and honest has a purpose.

If a piece of the road I have walked on can resonate enough to help with your own recognition of internal values and strengths; if a part of the bridges I have spanned, to make it over the obstacles I have faced, can resonate enough for the guidance to reach to the other side, then there is even more power in my story (and those impacted by these words) than ever thought imaginable.

WHAT

The scope of my life has always been centered around me becoming a woman engineer. I know that sounds strong and very matter-of-fact. Especially, when I chose to use the word always. Especially, when I put it in context of being the most important part of the circle of life, the center.

Of course, my life has so many other purposes too. As does yours. Like being a wife and a mother. A daughter and a sister. A granddaughter, and so on. Nonetheless, these other roles have a different type of importance as they are the ones that keep my circle intact. They are the reasons that when I feel like my circle is getting a little off balance and wobbly, I tighten up and refocus on being intentional with my time and my energy. They are the reasons that I wake up every day with a grateful heart, appreciating that I am beyond blessed to have these extra titles.

I don’t take these other roles for granted. (Even if I ever lost who I am as an engineer, if I ever forgot my way in life, or in the career and working world, I would still have these relationships circling me.)

Yet each of these other surrounding roles are grounded in the expectation that I am something to someone else. I couldn’t be a wife if I didn’t have a significant other to walk through life with; I couldn’t be a mother if I didn’t have children to call my own, and so on. I’m sure you get the point. We are all incredibly fortunate to have similar roles and responsibilities in life.

Be that as it may, in the core of each of us, at the center of each of our life stories, is who we truly are for ourselves. Our core is what drives us every day. Our core is why we make the decisions we do.

For me, right now, my core is construction engineer. Again, I believe my life was always centered around me becoming an engineer. For you, perhaps, it’s teacher or nurse. Or maybe we are twins and your core screams engineer too. Potentially you have not yet defined what will be your central role. You could presently be an undecided student or someone that desires simply for entrepreneurship. Possibly, you picked up this book to see if engineering could be a good fit.

Your core could even be multifaceted. It appears, at the center of my core, writer is also (obviously) lingering for some attention. One day, perhaps, you too will catch sight of a new or different purpose that controls you, your center of your being, for that season of life.

For others, it may just be a defining word that has the deepest hold on their core. Maybe it’s loving or adventurous. Maybe it’s analytical or free spirit. The word, or words, that define your character could have more importance to you than any other career title you may ever have.

It could even be that you are retired and are no longer seeking a professional title. Yet you can certainly recall which roles centered you at the time of your working life. You can reflect on which titles were of utmost importance to you and gave you personal satisfaction; they spoke to your core and made you who you were for all those years.

Either way, and again, I believe that the core you, the one that defines your center of balance, should be solely based on you. Your central role (or roles) must be what you want to be for yourself, for ultimate fulfillment.

You get to judge and decide what that center of your being looks like.

All of this is so very easy to proclaim but so difficult to live by.

Using myself, for example, it is kind of interesting or even embarrassing to admit how I came to realize that my core is, indeed, labeled with the word engineer. Even more so that it is multifaceted and there has actually been a writer hiding within me for so long too. It has taken some serious reflecting and maybe even some self-convincing. It has required a full analysis of what has been important to me throughout my life journey to date. I don’t take what I am, or why I am who I am, for granted either. Or at least now I don’t. I certainly did, though, and for longer than I should have!

III. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

In general, there have been, and continue to be, so many exemplary people that have sponsored me along my career path. It would be impossible to mention each person and why they are important to my journey. Yet if you are taking the time to read this and we have professionally associated during the last thirteen or so years, please know that I am thankful for you. I’m greatly appreciative of the time we have spent together on projects, in meetings, in discussions, or even in disputes. I think fondly of the times we have reviewed projects together on paper or in the field. Every decision we’ve made or implemented together has, in some way, shape, or form, molded my individual story, my knowledge, and my experience. Hopefully, I too have been a benefit to your individual story as well.

Also, I’d like to acknowledge the family, friends, educators, and acquaintances that have been a part of my life at one time or another since 1985. This memoir wouldn’t be possible without your connections to my story. Whether written about on these pages or not, our relationship has effectively assisted in defining the woman I am today. I believe our lives are essentially constructed through each experience and every encounter. Each day, we are more than we were yesterday. And because you all have been part of my past, present, or future, and I have been a part of yours, we have a special bond that goes beyond this isolated part of my story. Thank you for being you and allowing me to be me.

IV. INTRODUCTION: The Journey and the Lessons

Once I decided it was important for me to unveil my story, my journey, in building my life as a woman engineer, I battled with what the best approach would be.

Basically, I knew I needed to deconstruct my how, and I knew that it would take some effort to effectively explain once I really figured it all out myself. Yet I was internally struggling with needing a process to follow, to be able to framework my thoughts. The scope was well-defined… The why was easy, especially since I’m so passionate. The what is simple: I’m an engineer—problem solved.

I could have totally stopped there. This would have been a pretty straight forward story…

The how is the important part though. The how is what makes the why and the what even possible. The how is where the lessons come in to play. The lessons that perhaps others can learn from.

HOW

Then one evening, I had a random and super dorky thought: The journey of life mimics the phases of a construction project.

(You can stop laughing at me now. I’m sure I’m not the first engineer, or even person, to have thought of life in this way.)

So when I took the time to pause and think about my quick, random, and nerdy reflection, I realized there is so much truth in the comparison. Especially when linking the phases of life to that of a roadway or bridge (transportation) construction project.

For instance, if you think of any arbitrary construction project you have recently witnessed in action, you only really see what is happening on the surface, at that exact moment in time. Unless you live and breathe construction projects, as I do today, you may not realize how much underground or behind the scenes work has already occurred. You may not be aware of the challenges that were overcome to be at the stage that the project is currently in. Nor may you know how much work remains before having the ability to even proceed to the next activity.

Additionally, most people just focus on the active and actual construction efforts of any project. From when they first see the ground being torn up to the day they finally see that the project is complete, and everything is back to normal—where their commute is no longer impacted. (Or shall I dare to say, better than normal, as hopefully the project was an improvement!) However, there are so many other important aspects of the overall project that made it even a possibility to get to the construction phase.

Taking this theory a bit further, for simplistic purposes, let’s say that these major phases associated with the how of any project, begin with a planning need, have a main duration with cumbersome but essential steps, and then eventually end with requiring acceptance of said project. Construction project or life project, big or small random endeavors even, it is hard to argue the necessity of properly working through steps, phases, or processes if you want to procure success at the grand finale.

Therefore, my attempt in showing how my personal story (also known as my project)—the journey and lessons learned—has manifested in the same trajectory of a typical transportation engineering project can be seen in how I have defined what I believe to be some of the more prominent phases of said similar projects.

And because some of this may be tough to comprehend or visualize—and I don’t want you to feel burdened with trying to figure it out as you proceed through the book—I’ll provide a little more explanation to hopefully clear up any confusion. Fundamentally, what I am suggesting and what I plan to cover in each of the chapters are as follows…

Planning—During this phase, the type of environment is reviewed, initial development of focus areas ensues, and key elements of the project are defined. The planning process sets the foundation for all the future phases…

In life, much of the planning contains your oldest memories and earliest traits. This is where you started to create who you are within your own individual story. For me, this is where I highlight my upbringing and my younger school years.

Alternatives—Next, alternatives, or options are vetted. This will include simple ideas or complex concepts. This is certainly a dreaming and vision phase, but it is also when some of the most important decision making for the project must occur…

This phase is reminiscent of when you personally started to chart your course in your what of your life journey. Like me, perhaps, this was or probably will be associated with your high school years.

Design—You may have already guessed it, but actually designing the project is, indeed, the next phase. This is when it really starts to have some identification. This is when there is layout to the concepts. And when the details get analyzed and refined…

This is when, in your life journey, you start to get into the weeds of the alternatives that were previously selected. In this fashion, for me and for those in quest of or who have completed similar journeys, the higher education timeframe (when you are in pursuit of your chosen degree) is the critical activity while in this phase of purposefully designing your future.

It’s a bit of a misconception to believe that the construction phase comes right after the design phase for most physical projects. Theoretically, they do go in this order. Meanwhile, you can’t necessarily build something if you don’t understand it or recognize its importance.

Reviewing—Accordingly, the design must be reviewed before it can be constructed properly. Usually, the project’s design is being reviewed the entire time it is in the design phase, virtually simultaneously. (The value in these concurrent reviews is in making changes and identifying concerns when they have the least impact.) Even yet, when a project gets advertised to contractors, they too get the opportunity to review the completed design. They seek clarification on items they don’t understand, which helps them prepare for how they will bid on and plan to build the project. And supplementary, the design of the project continues to get reviewed and scrutinized even more, once the construction phase gets under way. There are constantly questions and revisions being generated from all sorts of stakeholders…

Whichever way it occurs for you in your life journey, or no matter when it becomes a necessary phase, the circumstantial time to review your life journey, thus far, will be crucial. The decisions you make, or the decisions you are even forced to make, as I had to in this phase, can completely alter your design.

Hence a project, just like life, is very much in a limbo stage, sometimes teetering between design, reviewing, and actual construction at any given time. However, for ease of this exercise in comparisons, we will ignore the overlap of the phases, and concentrate on the design, reviewing, and construction phases as isolated events.

Construction—Arguably, the most challenging phase of the life project, and any engineering project, is the act of actually constructing said project. This is where your abilities are put to the test. This is where the real challenges come to fruition. This is where there is even more risk in the decision making or changes…

Likewise, in life, this is where you really start to understand that you are in it for the long haul. This is where you must put in the time and the effort. This is where you start to make a name for yourself. In my story, all these principles played out when I journeyed into and embraced the world of construction engineering.

Then again, in overlap, as a project is being constructed, it should also be continually inspected. (It’s much easier to correct and address minor things as you go along instead of stockpiling all the issues and concerns to the end!) For good measure, let’s say, though, you’ve got to get a pretty good start on the building of the