Tatti

By Iona White

Growing up was more of school of the hustlers than a childhood for Tatti. Watching her mother feed her drug addiction and trying to provide for her three children was havoc. Then came Tatti's mother's death, which is unbearable for any ten-year-old child.

Not having a strong family foundation, Tatti is forced into the streets, struggling to care for herself at such a young age and maintain good attendance in school.

Now full speed into the street life, Tatti finds the long need for affection through her own drug use, gangs, and prostitution. Seeking some kind of acceptance, Tatti is also having affairs with multiple hustlers.

By the age fourteen, Tatti meets a street dealer that is almost twice her age. The couple builds a relationship built on domestic violence and being educated of his side of street life. In the meantime of this relationship, Tatti is forced to become a woman all alone because of her boyfriends endless run-in with the law.

As time moves along, Tatti becomes a local street legend. Knowing the game inside and out, Tatti runs into a little bit of trouble herself and serves some time in the county jail.

Upon Tatti's release, her hustle is even stronger. Earning her GED in county jail, Tatti enrolls in college courses upon her release.

On the road to riches, Tatti is confronted with a federal indictment...What road will Tatti take after her release?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 19, 2022
• ISBN: 9781642982305

Book preview

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Tatti

Iona White

Copyright © 2018 Iona White

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING, INC.

Conneaut Lake, PA

First originally published by Page Publishing 2018

ISBN 978-1-64298-229-9 (pbk)

ISBN 978-1-64298-230-5 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

About the Author

Chapter One

Here I am six years old and over twenty for my age. Besides getting myself ready for school, because my mother is too high to bother, I am making breakfast for my two younger brothers. I'm too young to cook, so cereal and toast was substitute for lunch and dinners for majority of our days.

Tatti, Tatti! You out that door yet?

I could hear my mother yell downstairs. It was already 6:37, and I needed to be at my bus stop by 7:00 a.m. Unsure of the errand she wanted, I was leery on answering her calls.

Yes, Mom, I'm still here, I yelled back up the stairs.

Come get this money and go to the store. And hurry up before you miss ya bus!

My mother screamed at me from her room. I proceeded upstairs for the daily note and money for a pack of newports and a crack stem. I never knew the little rose in that glass tube was a crack pipe. Then one day a teenaged dope pusher asked me, Why you have a crack pipe? Shit what was I to say? I ain't know what it was. My mother sent me to the store for it that's why.

I made it back from the store in ten minutes. The Arabs knew me and who my mother was, so it was all good. I ran upstairs to give my mom her things. When I opened the door, I watched her stick a needle in her foot. It was the same kind of shot the doctor gave me.

Mom, here. I stopped and acknowledged what I was seeing. What are you doing, Mama? I questioned walking up on her. The drug must of had her in a daze. She glanced up at me and waved me out of her room. I had no idea what I just witnessed. So I continued on my way to school.

After school was the usual. Get home and go to Big Mama's house. Big Mama was an older black, fat, and baldheaded lady my mother got high with.

Whenever Willie wasn't home, we would go to Big Mama's house. I hated going over there. There were always a lot of people there, mainly nasty old men that smelled like beer. They would always tell me how pretty I was and call themselves my uncle. Then they would demand a kiss on the cheek. I always felt uncomfortable with that situation, but if I didn't give them a kiss or a hug, they would bother me until I did. Sometimes my mom would need to go somewhere alone, so me and my brothers would have to stay there.

I was always observant, so maybe I had seen more than my brothers. Big Mama would sit us in front of the TV to watch whatever was on the local channels. I paid more attention to my brothers' comforts and the smoke-filled room in the back people kept coming in and out of.

Today was one of them days my mom didn't return until after bedtime. I hated staying at Big Mama's house that long. I would always get screamed at for not going to sleep by Big Mama. I would sit at the end of the couch waiting for my mother until I fell asleep with my coat and shoes on.

Tatti, lay down, Big Mama would tell me.

I ain't tired, I would respond.

I understand, but you make your brothers uncomfortable. Big Mama started walking toward me.

But I'm okay. I'm waiting for my mom. It's a school night, I said as I held my little brother Jordan.

I'm hungry, Jordan whined as he climbed into my lap. I was glad Jeramie fell asleep a while ago.

I know. Mommy will be here soon, I told Jordan as I kissed his forehead. Just go to sleep. We will be home soon okay.

Okay, but we haven't ate all day since we been here, Jordan still whined.

I know. We are going home soon. Take a nap, please, Jordan, I huffed out of irritation.

When Big Mama turned the TV off, we must of fell asleep. I guess my mother didn't return until the next morning.

Tatti, come on. Get up. You have to get ready for school.

I woke up in disgust. I can't believe I fell asleep in this house! I can't believe my mother left us here all night!

Girl, get yo' ass up now! my mother ordered me as she slapped me in my face.

Now I ain't going to school! I screamed in her face after she hit me. I got up and snatched my outfit of the day off the couch.

I knew she was about to beat my ass. I didn't care. My feelings were hurt. How come you left us here all night? You didn't even call and tell me! I started to cry.

Bitch, you ain't my mother. I don't have to tell you shit! You're not even seven years old yet! And grown as fuck! You better get ready for school before I beat ya ass like you are grown. My mom stood up from the couch to go to the smoky room in the back.

It's okay, guys, don't cry. I'm okay. My brothers got up and hugged me. I felt bad they had to see our mother like that. It was becoming an everyday event. My mother hasn't been herself at all. It's like we are just extra baggage to her.

Since I was the oldest, I kept things together the best I could, but some things I just couldn't understand.

Finally, my mother came from the smoky back room. She looked pale like she had been up for days. Her eyes were glazed over like she had glass-coated false eye. I didn't have any words. So I just watched her. From her appearance, I knew she forgot I had school.

Mommy, I am hungry, Jeramie said with an attitude.

Me too, me too, Jordan whined in the background.

Let's go home, she spoke lightly as she tried to round all our things up. My brothers started helping her, cheering to be leaving. I was happy also but disappointed at the sight of my mother's appearance. I was shocked we didn't get pulled over on our way home. We lived about a 15 minute drive from Big Mama's house. Besides, it was only seven in the morning.

When we arrived at home, Willie's car was in the driveway. From my view, my mother suddenly became sober.

Look, if Daddy ask where we been, we went to Aunt Tina's house, okay? my mother told us specifically.

Okay, Jordan and Jeramie responded in union.

I was in agreement also, but I wouldn't tell her that. I knew Willie was gonna say something about me not being in school. I guess she was too high and paranoid to realize I was still in the car too.

As we got out of the car, my mother makes it to the door first. All I was expecting was an agrument between them. I know that isn't something for three children should witness, but it is something we grew accustomed to.

When we all were in the apartment, it was still quiet. I thought Willie must have been sleeping. That was a good thing, and bad. Good because he was sleep. And bad because we didn't know how long he has been home. Having a little lead way, my mom came back downstairs to cook breakfast after she checked on Willie upstairs. It has been almost two days since I ate, and it was becoming normal for me. After about thirty minutes of my mom being in the kitchen, the table was full of food. There was scrambled eggs, cheese grits, turkey sausage, toast, and orange juice. Me and my brothers took our places at the table. We were fed and my mom went back upstairs while we ate. Before she actually made it back upstairs, I was feeding myself and brothers again. When I was finished eating, I started to wash the dishes. I went in the living room and turned cartoons on for my brothers and told them to get ready for a bath.

To my surprise, Willie nor my mother came downstairs to eat yet. I knew they weren't fighting or arguing because I would have heard them. I went in the basement to get us kids something to wear. I planned on taking my brothers to the local school park. I was sure my mother needed some rest. I came back upstairs with our clothes. I decided to tell Jeramie and Jordan about the park.

You guys want to go to the park? I asked.

Yeah. They both giggled and danced.

Both of ya'll ready for a bath? I asked as I held up their clothes. Jordan was not happy about it, but he went upstairs for his bath. Jeramie was in the bathroom before me and Jordan was. He was pulling on the knobs to run the bath water. I plugged the tub with the stopper and cooled it down more. As Jeramie and Jordan took their clothes off, I went to check on our mother. I didn't hear anything from the door, so I proceeded on caring for my brothers. They finished their baths and dressed. I ordered them to go watch TV so I can shower, and as soon as I was finished, we would leave.

As I showered, I knew I had to make up an excuse for my absence at school today. The doctor appointment note was overused. I got out the shower and dressed myself. Before I brushed my hair to put in a ponytail, I went back to my mother's door again. Still no sign of movement.

We ready to go Tatti, Jeramie called up the stairs.

Okay hold on, I yelled back down the stairs.

I went into my bedroom where I kept my money. I had about $36 dollars I kept in a secret spot to feed my brothers. I grabbed $4 dollars, and we were on our way. It was still early in the morning, so I didn't want to feed my brothers junk yet so instead of the store being our first stop, we went straight to the park. Jordan was only two, so I had to keep a closer eye on him. Jeramie could play more because he was four. I sat on a swing until they needed my assistance on something. About two hours later and being up and down the slide with Jordan over twenty times, it was time to go. Jeramie and Jordan were disappointed until I told them the plan.

You ready to go? I asked them.

No, Jordan whined.

Not yet. Come on, let's stay? Jeramie asked.

Let's not. Let's go to the store, I said, jumping trying to look excited.

Yeah, Jordan said.

Can we get candy? Jeramie asked.

Whatever you want. Let's go. You ready? I picked Jordan up and grabbed Jeramie by the hand.

Before we get to the store, I gave Jeramie and Jordan a dollar. I knew I would only spend a dollar. I brought an extra one just in case Jeramie or Jordan spent more than their dollar. When we got in the store, I bought me Now and Laters a juice and gum. Jeramie bought ice cream and little Debbie cakes. Jordan bought the same thing. I let them get some candy with the extra dollar. Then we were on our way home.

As we walked up the sidewalk, I knew something wasn't right. The screen door was open, as well as the front door. My brothers were ready to be put down for a nap. I was glad because I didn't know what to expect. Walking in, I noticed the mess that wasn't present when we left. I proceeded on taking my brothers to their room for their nap. After that I headed back downstairs to where the mess was. I was scared as to what I was going to find. I do recall Willie's car being gone while we were coming up the walkway.

Glass, blood? I questioned myself. I ran up the stairs now noticing the blood on the walls of the staircase. Mom, I called out into the partly opened bedroom door. Mom, I repeated myself with still no answer. The next thing I seen was unbelievable. My mother was lying sprawled out on her overturned mattress with blood all over the place. I didn't know what to do at first: Go call 911, or go see if she was alive? I went with my instinct and ran over to help my mother. To my surprise, she was still breathing.

What do you want me to do, Ma? I asked concerned, lifting her head into my lap.

Help me up.

I was trying to, but I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't know where the blood was coming from. Do you know where you are hurt? I asked.

My head. Now just help me up. I'm okay. I'm gonna drive myself to the hospital. She spoke so softly.

I knew she was in a lot of pain. So I helped her as much as I could. While she cleaned herself up, I cleaned the glass and blood trail from the living room to the bedroom. I didn't want my brothers to notice anything.

After my mother was done cleaning herself up, I didn't notice any cuts. I couldn't figure out where the blood was coming from. Mom, I need to know where you are hurt, I say inquisitively.

My head, my head, baby, she cried out to me in pain. I saw her hair was a little more redder than usual and wet. I was terrified because she was injured so badly. I helped her clean herself up a little bit. Then I went to wake up and dress my brothers.

We went straight to the clinic as soon as everyone was ready. The clinic we went to was the one near my grandparent's house. The doctor gave my mom a pill for pain then he put fifteen stitches in her head as we watched. The doctor said she had seven holes in her head and then he asked, How did it happen? My mother was a little skeptical to answering the doctor truthfully. I guess he was kind of used to the lines of domestic abuse, by the way he looked at her after she answered the question. My mother was just treated for being stuck in the head with a pool stick seven times.

After we were finished at the doctor's office, to no surprise we were on our way to Big Mama's house. I was so upset. I sat with an attitude. I felt like my mom needed some rest. She was hurt and the house was still a mess. I couldn't understand why we were going to Big Mama's house. As soon as we arrived, I was pissed.

Why are we here? I spat at her with venom.

Just for a little while.

Whatever. You always say that! I slammed the car door as I got out.

No, seriously. I just need to talk to Big Mama. She knocked on the door.

Oh, baby, I am so sorry. Are you okay? Big Mama opened the door, greeting my mother with sympathy and a hug.

It made me sick just seeing through Big Mama. She never meant my mother any good. From my view,