House of Mirrors: Revealing a Life of Lies and Deception

By Catherine E. Durham

After the shocking, life shattering realization that her husband was living a secret life, she is determined to get real answers. In her pursuit to understand how this seemingly strong, stable, committed thirty-three-year marriage had been anything but, she reaches out to the one person she knew would have answers. Through painful and heartbreaking discussions, she realized that her life with him was an astonishing manipulation and distortion by this master of deception.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 19, 2019
• ISBN: 9781684560011

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House of Mirrors

Revealing a Life of Lies and Deception

Catherine E. Durham

Copyright © 2019 Catherine E. Durham

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING, INC.

New York, NY

First originally published by Page Publishing, Inc. 2019

ISBN 978-1-68456-000-4 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64544-057-4 (Hardcover)

ISBN 978-1-68456-001-1 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Transition

The Awakening

In Search of Answers

Ellen’s Account

Woman No. 2

An Effort to Get Help

My Family

My Story

More Deception

Hindsight/Insight

Life Went On (or Moving On)

Life After His Death

Time

What Now?

Ellen

Answers Finally

Duplicity

Their Life from 1972 to 2007

Ellen: After the Revelation

2009 to 2016 By Any Means Necessary

Present

Why Do I Believe Her?

More Insight

But Why?

Release and Strength

After the shocking, life shattering realization that her husband was living a secret life, she is determined to get answers. In her pursuit to understand how this seemingly strong, stable, committed thirty-three year marriage had been anything but, she reaches out to the one person she knew would have answers. Through painful and heartbreaking discussions she realized her life with him was an astonishing manipulation and distortion by this master of deception.

Acknowledgements

I offer my sincerest appreciation to those who supported me through this project.

I say thank you with profound sincerity to the two people who planted the seed, my grief counselor and my psychologist. Each said to me, You should write a book. This story needs to be told for your wellbeing and for others.

Many thanks to my dear friends who agreed to read, critique, and edit my work with fair and compassionate insight. I am especially grateful to my person who encouraged me from the inception to completion of my vision. With words of wisdom and love, she helped me through times of doubt and frustration and kept me looking forward with optimism that I would be successful.

I must also thank Ellen for her kindness and unreserved willingness to open her life to me.

Our sons and my dear sister-in law for accepting my reasons for not sharing this project with them until I was too far into it to turn back, thank you for understanding. I love you all.

A special thank you to my Publishing Coordinator, Kendall Hyde for her patience with my unrelenting questions and helping me through this unfamiliar publishing process. I couldn’t have done this without you.

Foreword

Catherine E. Durham is a woman with a riveting story to tell. She has dug deep into her emotional reserves to stare down and speak painful, personal truth as an utterly disturbing experience. It reads like a therapeutic exercise. She is addressing the great many who suffer similarly.

Into Catherine’s life came suddenly the kind of pain one wishes on no one, no one at all. Her story speaks to one of the most glaring and painful disappointments a woman can experience – marital infidelity. We know this is a common theme told too often, but this is not a common story.

The book is a study of marital grief and frustration. It is perhaps a catharsis. However common, this cannot be called ordinary pain. The story allows the reader to hear her discovery of the deceit and to peer into the mind of the other woman, who herself was likewise deceived. And she was not the only one. This twist produced some heart rending empathy that compels one to go on a horrifying ride plunging the reader into their own emotional, life disturbing tribulations. The book becomes a shared experience and allows a kind of ventilation of spirit. I felt my own life and paused throughout within my own introspection when reading this story. I rather think you will as well--- a House of Mirrors indeed.

How do you forget or forgive forty years of familial devotion that was corrupted by indifference or by a man who was broken somewhere along the way? How do you relieve yourself of the feeling of responsibility or overcome the tremors of self-doubt?

Dwight S., Author

Transition

The day had come for the celebration of the life of my husband. It had been a long journey after the diagnosis of a life-threatening condition. Nine years had passed. The last two were very difficult and took an enormous toll on him and me. He had bravely and optimistically fought the battle to the very end.

As I entered the church flanked by my family and walked to the first pew, I avoided eye contact with friends and extended family. The church was overflowing to the outer area and up to the choir loft. I was determined to maintain composure and get through this with dignity. I needed to be strong for my children and grandchildren. In addition to friends and family, who were all I wanted to attend, there were many dignitaries and notable important businessmen and women, including many people who respected him from years past.

As the beautiful and well-crafted service got underway, I began to replay the forty-two years of our marriage. My attention was split between the service and the events that brought us here. I compared my thoughts to what people who are dying say about their life passing before them. It was neither rapid nor slow motion, just a progression.

The Awakening

I recalled that the beautiful spring day with clear, sunny sky and warm temperature was very uplifting after a grueling winter. My sister–in–law Marsha was leaving to return to her home after spending months helping me. She came to my aid when my husband’s recovery from surgery turned critical. With one phone conversation and an update on his condition, she asked, Do you need me to come and help you? At that moment I realized that I was overwhelmed from trying to manage this difficult situation alone. Yes, I did have emotional support, but it was the daily grind of hospitalization and the seemingly unending complications that wore me down. Marsha was on a plane and arrived at the hospital within a few hours. As soon as she approached me, I had a palpable sense of relief. I gave her the details of the situation, and she understood what I needed. I had been