Of Love and Beauty

By Hephzibah Beulah

And they say that darkness was dark. And of love it is the greatest. Yes, that must be the case, but could beauty be born from the light alone? A slight ray here and a slight ray there and perfection is born. And is beauty not our reward? This book shows how I learned to see, and seeing, I learned to live with beauty as my rear guide.

Of Love and Beauty is a story of salvation, a story of grace. Darkness shrouded whatever good had been gifted to me, but through the power of salvation, the power of love, I became whole. But he didn’t leave me there. He held my hands and took me on a journey—a journey that began with waterspout and his thirst to a life fulfilled and lived in him. A hope restored and a heart to love. Love truly is the greatest gift!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jun 17, 2022
• ISBN: 9781638745860

Book preview

Darkness

Someone I loved once gave

me a box full of darkness

It took me years to understand

That this, too, was a gift

—Mary Oliver

Once upon a time, I lived in the dark

But before that time I’d basked in the light

The light had gotten so familiar

Thought it was all to life

But until the darkness came

I didn’t know the divide

Strange thing is

I didn’t even recognize its face

Still thought I had the light all around

I did not know it was dark

Ignorance is not bliss

Permit me

To show you its race

The Dark Face

I have no explanations to give. I have no words to use. I have only one thing that I can give, and that is my heart. My heart is the only gift I can give you because for me it is the only thing that I have, or rather, the most precious thing that has been gifted to me.

On those lone days, those young days, I’d felt it’d possessed it, I’d felt it was mine, that I could do with it as I pleased. This I found to be the greatest lie. Your life is not yours to do as you please. There are simply no words I can use, so here, take my heart and see it. Please embrace it for me. It gives of my love to you.

The Lady Chlorine

Once upon a time, there was a little lady called lady Chlorine, who lived in a small town far, far away. The lady Chlorine was very beautiful and well loved by everyone. All the men in that town wanted the sweet lady to be his bride; all the men, including Mr. Natrium.

Mr. Natrium was rather shy and easygoing, but he always kept to himself. He also didn’t really like extroverted women. But despite this, he longed for lady Chlorine and wished that she should marry him.

One day Mr. Natrium met the lady Chlorine walking by herself. The lady walked tall and gracefully, but as she walked, blue tears trickled from her luscious brown eyes. Mr. Natrium felt sad seeing her cry. He couldn’t help himself, so he ran to her to inquire what made the lady so blue.

I’m Chlorine, she said, wiping her tears, unaware that Mr. Natrium even knew her surname. She told Mr. Natrium about how she mistakenly bleached a little girl’s suede pink shoes.

Mr. Natrium consoled the dear lady. When she was consoled, he took her home and made her a sandwich. By the time the sweet lady was ready to leave, a heavy downpour began, so Mr. Natrium insisted that she spend the night and she agreed.

Lady Chlorine picked a chair by the window to feel the cool breeze rushing in through the windows. She sat there watching the downpour, lost in thought. Mr. Natrium sat beside her. He couldn’t help but notice that her eyes sparkled. So mesmerized was he that he embraced her. The dear lady flushed, but she couldn’t deny how warm his embrace made her feel. That night the lady Chlorine slept in Mr. Natrium’s arms, and he kept her warm throughout the night.

The next morning, lady Chlorine was the first to rise. When she opened her eyes, she couldn’t believe what she saw. She and Mr. Natrium glowed in white, and an incandescent light filled the room. She extended her tongue to lick her arm, and oh she tasted delicious. They had become salt.

In frenzy, she nudged Mr. Natrium to wake up. And he, too, saw that they had become white all over. Mr. Natrium didn’t mind the change at all. He was only too glad to be in the arms of lady Chlorine. But the lady would have none of that.

Oh, Mr. Natrium, she cried, you shouldn’t have allowed this to happen. Oh I will lose everything. I was happy being single and independent.

Confused, Mr. Natrium held her hands. Oh, my dear lady. I love you and you love me. Forget about all that, my dear angel, and let’s bask in our love.

When the lady heard this, she flared. How dare you, Natrium. You filthy fellow! Oh, so you think I’m to be easily had. The lady swirled around. I can’t believe this. Oh no I can’t. Do you think I sleep in a stranger’s house on first dates? she screamed, glaring at him.

Mr. Natrium, who had been trying to sleep, now sat up, alert. He went to her and wrapped his arms around her. I never even thought of that. Who says that you’re to be easily had? I love you, lady Chlorine. Let’s be toge—

But before Mr. Natrium could complete his statement, lady Chlorine’s hands hit him hard across the face. Mr. Natrium held his cheek, dumbfounded. No woman had ever slapped him in his life, not even his own mother.

You slapped me?

And I will slap you again, she yelled.

Now it was Mr. Natrium’s turn to get mad. Lady Chlorine, I never want to see you again for this sin you have committed against me, Mr. Natrium said, walking out of the room.

Lady Chlorine, furious and seething, picked up her handbag and left Mr. Natrium’s house altogether.

I hope you perish in the lake of fire were her parting words.

Now lady Chlorine went home furious. She wished she had never met Mr. Natrium. As soon as she arrived home, she met Mr. Ammonia, the most eligible bachelor in town, at her doorstep. He was well suited in a blue tuxedo and pretty bow tie to match. In his hands were a bunch of roses, scented in lavender. Mr. Ammonia was a tall man, handsome, and ruddy. From him oozed the most exquisite perfume found in the entire country. As soon as he saw the lady, his eyes brightened.

Oh my lady, he beamed, ambling toward her. I have waited all night long for you. Now it is morning and I have set my eyes on you. He reached for her hands. Lady, pray give me your keys so I may open the door for you.

The good lady smiled, fumbling through her bag for the keys. When she found it, she handed it to him, and he opened the door. Then Mr. Ammonia swept her off her feet and carried her to a pretty pink couch. The lady smiled at Mr. Ammonia’s cute loving gestures. As soon as he was sure she was well rested on the couch, the handsome gentleman went on his knees. Smiling, he dipped his hands in his pocket and retrieved a small suede box.

My dear darling, he breathed with anxious tears in his eyes, I have been seeking for your kindness for five long years. I have come to you today so your attention may be turned to me.

The lady Chlorine was mesmerized by his words. Nodding, she smiled, anticipating his next move. Five years seemed just like yesterday.

Now, my dear lady, please do me the honor of becoming my bride. He opened the box and a large diamond ring was strapped inside. The ring was so shiny and yet so pretty.

The lady bolted to her feet, excited. My dear man,—she chuckled, overwhelmed—this ring, it cost too much.

The handsome Ammonia bowed. Yes, my lady. You are worth more than seven cities.

The lady threw herself upon Mr. Ammonia. Oh yes. Oh yes. I will marry you.

Three days later, the duo wedded. It was a very big wedding. Mr. Ammonia’s business partners from around the globe were present. The hall was decorated in the finest gold and the food was surplus. The couple received so many gifts. Lady Chlorine and Mr. Ammonia were very happy.

The night came quickly. It was time for lady Chlorine to spend her first night with her handsome beau. Mr. Ammonia was very excited. He rushed to embrace his new bride, kissing her slowly. Suddenly, there was a loud explosion. The couple tried again, but this time, their hair caught fire. Devastated, lady Chlorine extricated herself from her husband and ran all the way home.

That night, she cried and cried.

Mr. Natrium, heartbroken and depressed, had heard about lady Chlorine’s wedding, but he had refused to attend for his heart hurt terribly. To think that the filthy Ammonia took his true love away. He decided he would visit her house for the last time even though he knew she would be at her new home. He needed to feel her presence desperately before he let her go. So as lady Chlorine wept in her room, Mr. Natrium stood outside her door, with his hands in his pockets, staring at his beloved’s house for the last time. As he stared, his eyes caught the flicker of flames. He imagined one of her relatives was in there. But all the same, something pushed him to knock. And to his greatest surprise, lady Chlorine pulled the door open.

Her eyes were swollen from crying. Shocked and confused, Mr. Natrium asked her why she cried. He couldn’t bear to see her so sad. Before she could regale her sad tale, he swooped her off her feet and dropped her on the pretty pink couch. Sitting by her side, he touched her hands warmly and inquired of her troubles. When she told him all, he kissed her. Then he embraced her and kept her warm throughout the night.

The next morning, lady Chlorine and Mr. Natrium woke up to find a throng of friends in the little house. Mr. Ammonia already told lady Chlorine’s friends and family about the unfortunate occurrence, so they visited that morning to console her. But what they saw caught them off guard. Instead of seeing a blue lump of sad woman, they saw the lovers gleaming in white like angels.

Lady Chlorine’s mother ran forward to touch her daughter’s white legs and tasted her fingers. And her fingers tasted sweet to the taste.

Oh my child, this is the perfect union. Please, may I have a kittle of this new white substance? I should put it in my stew and it should taste delicious.

And so the old lady took a portion of the gleaming white for herself. And everyone did too. After that day, everyone had a delicious pot of stew.

The Jar

I did push the lid open and out rushed the waters of my love

I did wrap the jar in and toss it behind the grooves to decay

I did hiss and curse and spat that your life be forever abashed

I did return to my porch and wrote your name on my ceiling shedding

Endless tears at my loss

I did regret ever setting my sight on you on that flat full fall day

And just when I balanced on the rocker, an angel did appear to me

I did reveal my palm to the cherub and she did read something from it

She did say: "Dear darling, you complain of your broken heart

You complain of giving so much then tearing apart

But you must remember that Ra cannot weep

For shining yesterday, and passing over the night to Lunae

Yesterday is gone, yesterday is no more

But Ra did shine and is still shining

You must not forget that lady Chlorophylia had her day

Awash with hunger, that lady

Yesterday

Although it’s cloudy right now and she can’t remember

she had a bite

But she did grow about one inch"

And Ra did shine so she can eat

August 31, 2015

A Desolate Place

I know of wars and conquests

Of clashing swords and helmet

Of bloodied vests and helmets

I know of scattered bodies lifeless

Pierced by arrows from the shadows

In fields bare, deserted and hollows

I just never knew that the heart

A battlefield just as serious

That words are swords stabbing deeper

Than King Arthur’s and careless

Actions leaves bloodied open gashes

That may never ever bind

That bones broken heals faster

And better than heart’s broken

And misused and that a smile stolen

Leaves the soul with no bandage

Nor iodine to soothe the war torn

Streets of the artery as pain corrodes.

Rhapsody

The words of the elders Kpeti ignored

The words of the gods Agosu dismissed

And so Ra has shaved our heads

And has left us with nothing more

Than eyes, bowels, and feet

On that here day I speak

I lay beside Uranus, basking in the delights

Of physics and might

I listened to my natal ascent speak

Of Aaron Rezny, Lenin, and Shaka

Suddenly Ra bludgeoned our deft

He needed to speak with me

My dear angel, Ra spoke with voice silky and mighty

My little cosmic daughter, I must reveal

Something to you, something of what

I have been trying to tell Kpeti and Agosu

Something about life and living

Venus, the mother is ill, my dear

You my child have been chosen

To bring her healing

Healing from the west of Lake Chad

From the mountains of Cameroun

Cameroun, I question

What, my holy Ra, could be there

To heal the great mother

You my dear have asked well, my darling

Uranus roared with mirth

Don’t you know my dear angel

You haven’t been listening to me then

You have been chosen from the very beginning

To bring healing to the world

Your mate a happy Christian from Yaoundé

Is the key. Find him.

Take note, you are not a couple

As in the eyes of men

Your soul is bound together

And when the fruit is ripe

Venus will find healing

In my bed I tossed and turned

Rolling and rolling on the sobriquet of what is my mission

Then I feel a gentle tap

I awake to find you my darling Christian

You came by with a lamp torch

A fierce kiss did you deliver on my lips

The kiss of life and eternity

Mr. Walt Disney stood by the door

And sobriquet us snow white

When you beheld the motion picture my heart

Your rage reached, Ra

It burned so hard

So tactile that sick Venus finally caught helium

From Mercury

Ra summoned you instantly and warned you

Severely against such

Then sanctioned you only two moons to live

How I administered my pleas to Ra that day

My dear

All on your behalf

For him to dissolve his sastrugi

Ra refused my heart

He did and shot an angry look

He said he did not mean it in a Pickwickian sense

And you had just two moons to live

And that was when the river Ebola outran its farms

Oh the sternutation of my heart, my Naett

I felt it

Ra summoned you to quell it

And forbade me from coursing with you

And you could not cease the flood

During that time

When the two moons brought along its strumpet

On your bed, my dear, it was said that our dance

Must hold somehow someway to bring the great

Mother of beauty healing

That we must surely find a lifetime to bring

Healing to this world

My heart, don’t you feel it now

Can’t you see that it’s me all along

The tears, the pain, the tease, the fondness belies your glare

I am she. Turn not your back against me now

That we have come so far

Kiss me, my beloved, didn’t you feel the jolt in our kiss

I know you have found another she

But you must listen to the voice of the gods

For the sun is shining still

June 24, 2015

My Poor Heart

Heart torn, war torn, lovelorn heart

Listen so intensely to music from the start

Don’t stop for one moment…aye don’t

Listen to the twinkle of midnight chirps

This heart so wan, so shorn, so alone

I command you listen again

Aye, never depart from this light

The light of life

The mother of all things

May 26, 2015

Despair

I despair

My heart is broken

Torn to pieces

I long so much for affection

I long to give it away

With all my might

But alas no one to share it with

I must let go now

April 13, 2015

The Dream

It feels like a dream

It feels like a dream

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